I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2016

07

Jun

Chloe Grace Moretz Cameltoe of the Day

You know…I don’t love Chloe Grace Moretz, she’s freshly turned 18, so she’s only existed as a sexual object for a few months – and she just didn’t resonate with me. Then I factor in the fact that she’s some annoying rich kid to begin with, whored out as a kid to make more money for the family and to make her Plastic Surgeon dad proud after making a life giving bitch’s tits back in Georgia or wherever they are from…only to get into movies and to get celebrity at a young age making for an extra cunt…

But it turns out her cunt is extra, or has extra cunt that barely fits in her fitness pants, eating up all that fabric like it’s hungry after a workout..and from this day forward, I proclaim myself a Chloe Grace Moretz fan…or maybe I’m just into her cameltoe…either way – lovely.

Posted in:Chloe Grace Moretz|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Constance Jablonski for Air France Madame of the Day

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Constance Jablonski must have broke up with one of her rich boyfriends – because this is the second post of her in two days – which is a lot of a model we haven’t seen in at least a year or two…unless she’s still been working, and I’ve just neglected her – not because I hate her…but because we live in a world with way too many fucking distractions (tits) that force me to get confused at the tits, or bikinis, I’m looking at because of tits..

It’s like who are these tits, where do they belong, why are they in the trunk of my car, what did I do last night…oh fuck….I better throw them into the river….as they all seem to merge into one giant attention seeking tit we all suckle on for nourishment….

There’s so many girls out there trying to make it while being half naked…too much to handle…but only one Constance Jablonski being featured in Air France’s in flight magazine I’d mile high club myself in the middle seat to..

Posted in:Constance Jablonski|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Nina Agdal Got Work of the Day

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I always get excited for Nina Agdal when her drunk, retard looking head, gets work…because it makes her seem like less of a rich guy fucking whore from Miami who think she’s a big deal because she fucked her way into Sports Illustrated – something she’s leveraged the last 7 years and keeps pushing….rather than doing anything actually impressive with her career…

All I see is a lazy party girl, who gets occassional jobs, but doesn’t need those jobs thanks to making sure the guys she fucks are billionaires and will finance her..

I can just tell she’s got a shitty attitude and is shit, but her body is ok when not in a dress…just ask any rich guy who’s fucked her for money…or I guess you could look at her countless bikini pics..

Posted in:Nina Agdal|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Emilia Clarke for Violet Grey of the Day

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People love Emilia Clarke…she’s on the biggest show on TV, so I guess that makes sense…or makes her relevant…but I prefer when she’s got her tits out…it’s just more dramatic, interesting…..while I know other people, the weird ones, only care about when she’s with dragons…because that speaks to their SCI/FI fantasy weirdness…and when they see shit like this, they just get mad that she’s a real person, making real money, manipulating the fuck out of them by being the hot bitch in a show they worship…

I’m only mad the pics are dull…you’d think they could put a little budget into making this fun…

Posted in:Emilia Clarke|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Kate Moss for The Edit of the Day

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Kate Moss is magic…

I don’t know what it is about her, even when she’s average at best, I turn into a gay man when I see her and just think she’s fucking great…

I think it’s got to do with her being skinny, rock and roll, tits out and a vagina that has seen some shit….all while being an iconic cunt who is probably miserable to hang out with for an hour…but not because of her accent…or the fact she’s got a kid…but because models are spoiled fucking cunts who think they are hotter than they are…which is pretty fucking hot…considering they are hot to begin with…always coddled and spoiled…

Posted in:Kate Moss|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Laetitia Casta fir Marie Claire France of the Day

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I used to masturbate to Laetitia Casta tits in a simpler time – we’ll call it 1996 when I first got the internet…and figured out how it worked thanks to prison time I was serving being modern and convenient…

This was in the dial up era when I could get off to a set of slow loading tits, bar by bar of image slowly loading – edging myself until the full breast dropped…where this whole “celebrity” thing started up for me, using old Thumbnail Gallery Posts for porn material…always choosing the celebrity section – because models were just hotter than 90s shitty porn people.

So these tits, in 1996, were a staple…the stars of the internet…they were from France and huge…they never went onto doing much, but being so early in her naked for her career, makes her and her tits iconic…and now she’s still doing media and still looking good – reassuring my decision to jerk off to her instead of other bitches of the time…

So I guess Laetitia Casta and I have a one side, romantic, historically charged legacy…and in ways she is the reason for DrunkenStepfather so if you have any lawsuits pending against me – send them her way…

Thanks…

Posted in:Laetitia Casta|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Iggy Azalea in a Bikini of the Day

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Iggy Azalea is some fake bitch, who annoys me because she tries to generate so much buzz around herself and it is irritating, all while pushing some bullshit storyline of being some poor Australian stripper, something most people probably believe but the real story is probably that she had her student visa and got her green card after signing a record deal with some dude she was probably banging – because he figured they could make her white ass a white rapper ear rapist…and I guess they pulled it off – since she exists…

And she’s in a bikini on a boat, so I’ll post it because I have a sickness – but don’t think I like it…

IGGY-1

Posted in:Iggy Azalea|SFW

2016

07

Jun

The New Ghostbusters do Elle Because they ARe Women of the Day

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I don’t have any issue with the modern day feminism.

I am all for keeping women happy so they shut the fuck up and stop complaining. I understand that women are the deciding force, especially when it comes to going to movies, so now movies are being produced for women, empowering them, whatever…because guys are just as happy sitting on the couch jerking off….going to the theatre takes away from that….

I don’t even care that they took “iconic” characters from our youth and repurposed them for women – girl power or some shit…

I just think it looks like a shitty cash grab for writer / creator and original star Dan Ackroyd, who was writing this movie when his BFF Jon Belushi died….cursed…and more importantly…it looks like garbage….

But let’s put them in ELLE magazine, even the fat ones….because women read Elle and they need them to get in the damn theatre dammit…they have money to make…

So here’s Kristen Wigg – the hottest who isn’t that hot one…and the others…who gives a fuck what their names are…

Posted in:Ghostbusters|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Tranny Model Hari Nef for Some Purse Company of the Day

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I prefer my Tranny Models to be in my classic Corvette….but if I have to fixate on the other kind of Tranny, who would have at one point been in Brazilian porn – helping perpetuate the aids virus, and/ or on the side of the street turning tricks for hormone money, before Trans becoming trendy, I’d rather see them spread ass with boner, not because I’m into Tranny Porn or trans hookers, in fact I find it weird, not quite human and anyone with a tranny fetish, which is a lot of fucking people, pretty fucking terrifying….even if they like tranny on woman porn because there are 4 sets of tits instead of one set of tits with standard porn…

I have worked in porn, in the late 90s, and trans was top selling category back then…

I have known men who love tranny porn, which would make sense because it is the top selling category…

I know people who have fucked trannies, some who hadn’t even had their tits done yet, like dude – that’s just a dude with long hair…

I have no problem with any of that…but seeing this Tranny Model named Hari Nef isn’t very innovative, it just looks like she’s playing a girl for fashion, I mean…let’s push some fucking boundaries…and get a little more controversial…more than just a brand thinking “let’s cast the tranny for press”…getting press…MAKE some noise…

Hair Nef is a great name for a tranny BTW…reminds me of a hairy pussy…which is what it would have thanks to being born with a cock.

Posted in:Hari Nef|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Charlotte McKinney Monster Clown Tits in a Bikini of the Day

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Horse Faced, but no one will notice, because she’s got the most ridiculous fucking tits pretty much ever. Tits that some hotel hired or gave a free Mexican room to walk around the pool in a bikini, because that’s the level of love you get when you are amongst a million girls with a million followers on instagram….you get a free fucking room.

These people, despite what they want you to think, are not actually famous, they are barely even glamour models, they are self produced models, DIY, low grade, only relevant because of the monster tits…but they don’t think that, they think “I was on TV once and I did a shoot for a brand one, therefore I matter”….even though she knows, like we know, with tits like this…nothing else about her matters…other than that she probably would make more money a year as a Vegas stripper, but at least this way, she has her trust fund from her rich dad and her dignity…even though whoring out tits like this is as ghetto trash as stripping, in fact, the strippers actually get paid to show their tits…so they fuckin win.

Send this bitch back to Florida….because she’s so fucking Florida..and her tits…the size of Florida…are still worthy of staring at…because that flat stomach, no ass, skinny body gaining weight in her tits and only her tits….a good problem to have…only fat girls wish the had….the good kind of freak of nature…possibly the best kind…even if everything about her is so cheesy and the fucking worst…those tits mute all that shit…

Instead of always being negative on these bitches, the nice thing about McKinney is that her only worth is her tits and she’s making it work for her, reminding me of pre 1960s feminist movement, when tits defined a woman’s worth, and that’s something our culture may have shifted on us – and shied away from with decency, civil rights, equality and social justice warriors…but we’re still the same fucking animals and girls and guys alike know there’s something magical with tits.

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Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW