DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

07

Apr

Naomi Watts is 100 Years old in a Magazine of the Day

Naomi Watts is about 100 years old…but this is what she wants you to think she looks like…

I find it a little hard to believe…partially because no 100 year old looks like this…especially not an Australian….because due to ozone layer sun damage…and hard living, hard drinking, party life….they generally look like weather crocodiles by 35…

I don’t know what Hollywood magic with lighting, after effect, photoshop, duct tape pounds of make-up, is going on here…I just know I know 20 year olds who don’t drink, do drugs, live the hollywood life, who drink lots of water and sleep well every night…who have more wrinkles than this..

Maybe this is shot in a wind tunnel….

Posted in:Naomi Watts|SFW

2016

07

Apr

Hannah Davis for Some Magazine for My Birthday of the Day

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Derek Jeter wife in training…Hannah Davis is pretty hot…but her vagina may tell a different story….thanks to being Derek Jeter the guy who has had sex with everyone, real random hookers like Vida Guerra…Bridget hall…to Cameron Diaz, Paris Hiltons, and a bunch of other herpes…Athletes…with all their money…and fitness just love that pussy…

What better way to get pussy as an Athlete than through Sports Illustrated and what better way to feel legitimate as a model than by fucking an Athlete…with lots of money…who will help her maintain her lifestyle that her rich dad gave her…because like the Hadids…Hannah Davis is a rich kid….a rich kid in Health Magazine, because this is the life of an Athlete wife…

Posted in:Hannah Davis|SFW

2016

07

Apr

Maia Mitchell Panty Flash for My Birthday of the Day

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22 year old Australian Maia Mitchell, who apparently an actress who has been in the industry since 2005 when she was 12, leading to a whole bag of issues that come with pushing your kid into working at a young age, motivating them by spoiling them and telling them they are the best, only to realize that they aren’t…makes for crazy…

That said, she’s outside a bar, flashing her panties, because she’s a big star on ABC Family you’ve never head of and all I know is that as an Australian, I’d expect her to be playing ping pong with her dick…or something equally outrageous, since Australians are so much fun…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Maia Mitchell|SFW

2016

07

Apr

Lindsay Lohan for My Birthday of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan is everything…I forget she exists most of the time, but it’s my birthday and I’ll never forget the magic that she has brought our lives…even though I generally forget Lindsay Lohan…because she’s totally uninteresting, she’s washed up, half dead, boring, and probably never going to have a comeback tour, even though all I want for her birthday is for her to star in the script I wrote based on her life….that involves her having sex with my face until I die….you know to help her win the Academy Award because I am just that talented, and that’s the line I would use to try to trick her when she’s officially hit rock bottom…and her crazy views me as the only hope she has…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

07

Apr

Fat Magazine Fashion Tits for my Birthday of the Day

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There is so much content being produced online that I don’t know when a magazine is a legitimate magazine, or if it is just an instagram account, or if it is just some rich guys who have too much money who want a magazine to meet bitches, it is all so saturated that it all sort of blends into each other…

I can’t tell if the models are real, or maybe now that everyone is a model, we’re all models, and real is anyone in the pictures…

I don’t know if it is art, or social commentary, or just a copy of something someone else is doing…

I just know that any reason for tits, whether with these models: Heather Kemetsky, Zlata Semenko, Janiece Dilone, Iana Godina, Marland Backus, Sabina Lobova, Mae Bird, Othilia Simon, Sahara….Whoever the fuck that is…

Is good enough for me…and I guess for every lazy mind out there double tapping on pics…

Nothing matters!

VIA FAT MAGAZINE

Posted in:Fat Magazine

2016

07

Apr

Marloes Horst for Marie Claire of the Day

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Marloes Horst is lovely…

The kind of girl I would sing love songs to….with my penis…to her vagina….not that it would be that eventful because my penis is a horrible poet…has a terrible voice…and he can’t playing the piano…because he’s too busy hiding in the shell that is my fat gunt…thanks to low testosterone…

It’s my birthday, I am old, I can deal with it…because I have a mouth that I can use as a stand in…

Not that Marloes Horst would have any of that, she’s too fancy, in magaiznes like Marie Calire…but I still prefer her strip video….

Posted in:Marloes Horst|SFW

2016

07

Apr

Krysten Ritter in a Bikini from a Few Weeeks Ago for my Birthday of the Day

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I shouldn’t be working today – not that this is work…but I am still sitting at a computer on my birthday when I have adventures to pretend I’d got on…when really I’d just rather sit on my couch or nap….working hard for the nap….

So to honor that laziness, that entitled birthday bullshit people do, here are old pics of Krysten Ritter who I think is also old…but who was once a model that I never bothered noticing until watching her netflix show and thinking “I’d fuck that”…making her ass in a bathing suit, even a weird shaped bathing suit…juicy enough to stare at…

I figure if I haven’t seen the pics, even if they’re weeks old, they are still new to me..and her pregnancy bump, or gunt from too much vacation eating….is the real star of this shoot…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Krysten Ritter|SFW

2016

07

Apr

Sex and at the Airport and Other Videos of the Day

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Snake in Vagina Witchcraft…

Kid Gets Slammed on a Ride

Rat in McDonalds…Thailand..

12 Year Old Slammed by a Cop…

Angry Starbucks Girl….

Shark VS Jet Ski

The King of Smoking

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2016

07

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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It’s my birthday – and I will ask your girlfriend for nudes if I want to…

I’ll also write mean blog posts about models and celebrities….while drunk…but I do that everyday…

Maybe everyday is my birthday…and I don’t realize it…because I’m not a self involved, self absorbed narcissist cunt like everyone else seems to be…but then again I do have a blog which is pretty fucking pretentious…”LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IT IS SO IMPORTANT”…not that anyone reads the site…but you get what I am saying and that is that I’m drinking whiskey at 10:30 am….looks like I’ve made it.

Here are some stepLINKS…in the MORNING….HANGOVER…DUMP….

Tight Yoga Pants
CLICK HERE

3000 Matches in a Half Sphere
CLICK HERE

The Mummy Starring Tom Cruise..
CLICK HERE

Light Skinned Black Girl in a White Dress – Cultural Appropriation
CLICK HERE

Awkward Girl Breaks Up With Boyfriend
CLICK HERE

Kevin Federline
CLICK HERE

Erin Heatherton is Fat
CLICK HERE

Gold Trick Shots
CLICK HERE

Jessica Biel’s Big Boobs in White Tank Top
CLICK HERE

Swiss Army Man…
CLICK HERE

So Many Redheads…
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2016

06

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

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My DOT COM BILLIONS aren’t even DOT COM MILLIONS but rather DOT COM HUNDREDS….

We live in a world where plus sized girls don’t know they are plus sized…or pretend they aren’t plus sized…instead of taking ownership on being plus sized…

Asking girls to send you the paint chip color closest to her asshole color…doesn’t work…they won’t do it….they will think you’re weird…paint chips to show you her nipple color maybe but anus never…I know you’d think girls love home decorating, and that paint color would be the gateway to anus pic, but truth is you’ll probably have a better chance getting an asshole pic than the paint color…crazy world we live in…

Here are some stepLINKS

A Bunch of Crazy Asses
CLICK HERE

Erin Heatherton was Too Fat for Victoria’s Secret
CLICK HERE

Out of Control Semi Truck!
CLICK HERE

Lana Del Rey in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Swiss Army Man – Looks Fucking Crazy
CLICK HERE

Janet Jackson is Pregnant at 49
CLICK HERE

Jessica Biel Doing the Mom of the Day
CLICK HERE

People are into Fatty Melissa McCarthy Lip Syncing
CLICK HERE

Courtney Stodden Naked for Instagram
CLICK HERE

Girls in Flannel
CLICK HERE

Holly Peers Topless Glamour Model Shoot
CLICK HERE

Charlize Theron Suffers for her Looks…
CLICK HERE

Bird VS Cat Video
CLICK HERE

Model in Catalog Pics
CLICK HERE

Is ADD an Advantage?
CLICK HERE

Woman Confuses Kevin Hard for Chris Rock
CLICK HERE

Superhead Has Restraining Order
CLICK HERE

Elle Fanning in Short Skirt…
CLICK HERE

Slutty Vanessa Hudgens
CLICK HERE

Selma Blair Nipples
CLICK HERE

AMbrosio in a Sports Bra
CLICK HERE

Michelle Lewin in Short Shots…
CLICK HERE

Maitland Ward Topless Tit…
CLICK HERE

Macaulay Culkin Long Hair….
CLICK HERE

Beyonce is Suing a Company called Feyonce
CLICK HERE

Disturbed’s Sound of Silence…
CLICK HERE

Big Juice Tits
CLICK HERE

Slut for National Beer Day
CLICK HERE

Should Pornstars Be Respected?
CLICK HERE

Katherine Heigl Launches a Blog….
CLICK HERE

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From stepSMUT!! LINKS BELOW ARE VERY NSFW!
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Random Tumblr Porn
CLICK HERE

Crazy Cunts Showing Off Their Cunts
CLICK HERE

Some Naked Chick
CLICK HERE

Bimbo On Camera
CLICK HERE

Angry Bitch of the Day
CLICK HERE

Masturbating Cam Whore
CLICK HERE

Some Busty Naked Chick
CLICK HERE

Kayden Kross Pussy
CLICK HERE

FIlled Up….with a Bat
CLICK HERE

HUGE TITS
CLICK HERE

Nude Selfie of Naked Selfies of the Day
CLICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Control Female Orgasms!
CLICK HERE

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INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR | SNAPCHAT

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Posted in:stepLINKS