DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

09

Sep

Lily Allen Bikinis of the Day

Lily Allen’s ass is doing something weird to her bikini – or her bikini bottom is doing something weird to her ass – I just know that despite her dying her hair, learning how to white girl twerk, trying her best to relive being a teen popstar she always wanted to be, she is a mom in her 30s…and that makes her gross.

It makes the whole thing absolutely pathetic…but I guess the good news, at least the bright side to this sad sad story of a rich girl with broken dreams, who kind of made it but never quite made it to the level she wanted to, so now she’s up on round two or three and it’s really weird to observe her doing her social observation of pop music, making fun of it, all while doing it…when she should just sit on her money, raise her kids and live the good life…all while NOT wearing a bikini because she’ vile.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lily Allen

2014

09

Sep

Jennifer Aniston in a See Through Dress of the Day

No Comments »

Jennifer Aniston is probably too old to not be wearing bras in see through tops if the camera flash hits the tit from the right angle, but I guess when these women don’t have kids and haven’t quite hit menopause, but are already starting to miss their periods periodically as they are slowly drying up, they know that it’s the window of opportunity, right before it’s absolutely too late…to give the world what they wanted to see 20 fucking yers ago…

Her nipples on tits that are hardly as good as they were on Friends, in an era when she was too prude to show her tits, even though we all know getting famous meant showing her tits often to all kinds of people, it’s part of the program.

But good enough to notice, because I guess it’s never too late to not wear a bra and show your nipples, even if it seems like you’re pretty much expired…that’s some silver lining that comes with the fact that people like tits in all stages of life because they are tits.

Here she is a bit of tank thanks to the depletion of estrogen…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston

2014

09

Sep

Charlotte Carey Naked for The Wild Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

Charlotte Carey is some model I’ve never heard of, because I can’t keep track of all these girls, but apparently I’ve been following her on instagram along with 4000 other girls I want to see naked, or have seen naked, or who I’m trying to fall in love with, or make fall in love with me, because instagram, despite popular belief – gets me more sex than any other social network…

That said, I am guess this girl is 21, from Indonesia, lived in California, has done Playboy, has done campaigns, and is now topless and black and white, something I hate, but appreciate the topless, for something called Wild Magazine, that’s isn’t quite wild enough, but still worth staring at, because why the fuck not…right.

Posted in:Charlotte Carey

2014

09

Sep

Alyssa Arce Topless for Marcus Hyde of the Day

No Comments »

Photographer Marcus Hyde was supposed to shoot our #stepGIRLS a few months ago, I don’t think that ever happened and don’t know if it will happen, but I am going to assume it will because #stepGIRLS are the fucking future and everyone from top models to top photographers want to participate in our shoots….and I guess while he’s waiting for us to give him a shot at shooting for us again, he’s busy with the really busty, fashionable playmate with huge natural tits Alyssa Arce and she’s lookin’ pretty alright – even when censored and I hate fucking censorship – it’s just too fucking oppressive…here are the pics anyway…check him out on Instagram

Posted in:Alyssa Arce

2014

09

Sep

Lea Michele Getting Felt Up of the Day

No Comments »

Lea Michele let’s her friends grab her tits – but only for an instagram pic becuase it’s her way of saying “I am not just a candy coated plastic character on some PC show that sucks…I am also a hollywood starlet who sucked dick, understands whoring, and loves casual sex for gain more than regular girls”…

Or maybe this is her way of mourning the death of her fake boyfriend she didn’t save because she was a bad fake girlfriend, since I know if I had a fake girlfriend for ratings, she would be the first person who knows I am on a bender, unless of course my fake girlfriend is too into her fucking self, her career, and figuring out how to get her next million, but more importantly what dress to wear and whatever the next event she must attend, instead of doing what she really needs to do – a nose job – to notice I was about to die…

Either way, I approve girls who delve into slutty to get ahead…even when they look like this ball off bar mitzvah….troll.

Posted in:Lea Michele

2014

09

Sep

Ellie Goulding’s Workout Shorts of the Day

No Comments »

The only thing I really know about this Ellie Goulding character is that she had a very overplayed, overproduced, silly song that was on the radio A LOT the last year, and I hate her for it…it’s like one of those pop stars that was heavily owned by the label or distributor, and in turn played heavily on the radio because of payola, even if payola is against the rules, they find a way, otherwise pop music wouldn’t exist and good music would be on the radio, because I believe in humanity, even if I shouldn’t and I know that they know a shit song when they hear one, and that their brain washed singing along is just a product of being overexposed to the crap…there is no way people are calling in requests for her shit, unless they work for the label and they are trying to extort the public for cash…

But today I learned something new about her, and that is that she works out in shorts. Fascinating stuff.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ellie Goulding

2014

09

Sep

Alexandra by Cameron Davis of the Day

No Comments »

This amazing model’s name is Alexandra, I follow her on instagram, because I appreciate any girl who looks this good. More importantly I am into any girl willing to get naked for the sake of “ART”…

I am going to go out on a limb here and think she is the fucking future, and that’s not only because she let’s a photographer named by CAMERON DAVIS take shots of her willing to get nude…the way it is supposed to be…but wasn’t always.

I mean there was an era when girls just didn’t get naked…I mean I think they even fucked fully clothed…pretending their nipples didn’t exist…

So I support this movement. I have hope. I wish I had Alexandra.

Posted in:Alexandra

2014

09

Sep

Ray Rice’s Wife’s Statement is More Insane Than The Video of Him Beating Her of the Day

No Comments »

Ray Rice’s Wife posted this statement to instagram and it is totally fucking insane…I generally don’t do any real coverage of dumb bitches who are clearly victims of abuse, and I don’t think this is what the feminists would call victim blaming or victim shaming but more victim insanity…I mean when he knocked her out did she lose her fucking senses…

The fact is simple, husbands and wives should never be physically violent with each other, but if wives lose their fucking shit and punch a motherfucker, especially a professional athlete in monster shape of a motherfucker, you do no knock the woman out…if you have pent up anger, punch yourself until you bleed and say “look what you make me do to myself”…it’s far scarier…

When I read this I see a weak girl who doesn’t want the moneytrain to end, but more importantly, who doesn’t want her bad behavior that she was I guess being “punished for” in her ghetto trash mind, to ruin the career of her man she married strictly because of said career….

I guess we need to remember that Athlete wives are notoriously groupies who allow for side bitches…they are in it for the money, the kind of girls who get pregnant because they pretend they are the pill knowing they have 20k a month in child support to look forward to when all fails…which is more than their ex, the drug dealing hustling pimp made in a month…which I guess to them is winning…

What is really tragic in all this is that all eyes are on this woman, kids, and families and other wives who have been abused, but instead of saying what happened was wrong, that abusive relationships are not worth staying in, that a man should never be knocked out…she’s saying “mind yo’ bidness”…and basically that she deserved it and that it’s their private moment in a public elevator…

The whole thing disgusts me, and I’m not saying that because they are black and the idea of black people disgust me…some of my best friends are black, I am saying it because reading this blew my fucking mind…

Women. Don’t ever stay with any man who lays a hand on you. That’s it.

Posted in:Ray Rice

2014

09

Sep

Dissecting Emily Ratajkowski of the Day

No Comments »

I am already considered a misogynist asshole who is highly negative, maybe even a hater…when really I just poke fun at overrated girls who I feel don’t deserve all the fame and attention they get because they are talentless hacks who are just polarizing a situation that involves them fucking the right people, and in turn the right people giving them jobs. It’s a series of who you know, who you fuck, who your family knows and all of a sudden the media goes along with it, making them a lot of money, even considered stars in their own right, feeding their egos, and I just come in to say “hey, what’s up, you look like a short, stalky, dumpy Lea Michele the second you aren’t being photoshopped in nude photoshoots that show off your tits…”…it’s like this is a “top model”…or someone worth celebrating, when she looks more like someone I wouldn’t even look twice at on the street, because she’s not beautiful, she’s bird-faced, weak chinned, and shitty bodied…

Yet…people celebrate her all because she got into a nude music video and now she’s a fucking hollywood star…that’s pulling some serious fucking scams…and for that reason alone I break her down and point out her obvious flaws that I know you all see, but would still fuck, because you’ve seen her naked…

I just think there are way hotter, more interesting girls out there doing great things that deserve the attention this bratty Hollywood trash is getting…they just aren’t getting naked and photoshopped for the right people.

We call her Emily Rat Cow – because she’s got the face of a rat, the personality of a cow and her first name is Emily…

She’s not as hot as you think she is, she’s not as hot as she thinks she is, and I even think she may have cankles…

So dissecting girls, breaking them down, highlighting their flaws doesn’t make me feel good about myself, I just don’t like seeing people celebrate something they shouldn’t…false idols motherfuckers, I think there’s something in the bible about that….

Now, let’s focus on the real babes of the world, like the girl at the coffee shop who held my dog for me while I stared down her shirt….she was lovely.

Here’s lots of hype, little substance…and inspiration to all the talentless girls willing to get naked that there is hope for them…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

09

Sep

Mugshot of the Day

No Comments »

This is one of the darker mugshots I’ve seen, I mean sure the woman in the mugshot has a nice, friendly smile….looks like she got a DUI, or was publicly nude or something silly that involves sex, drugs and rock & roll…you know the kind of criminal record you look for when writing love letters to inmates in prison as groundwork for when they get out and have no one to call but you – leading to pretty much guaranteed sex….it’s the TINDER of the 90s.

This mugshot was taken after this 24 year old mom confessed to killing her two kids (three and one), by suffocating them with plastic bags, during a custody battle I assume she wanted to win…with one of the fathers…because each kid had different dads. Modern…or maybe trashy as fuck…

What this reminds me is how amazing it is that gay people are given shit for having kids they want to raise in nice homes, dressed nicely, educated properly…but ghetto trash can shit out kids they can’t afford and in turn kill them off like lunatics…

The world is fucked, and this mugshot…really fucked.

Here is this devil woman in a bikini….her name is Sonya Spoon and she’s fucking evil…

Posted in:stepNEWS