DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

27

Feb

Sara Malakul Lane Nude in Jailbait of the Day

Sara Malakul Lane is this amazing creature and I call her a creature because she’s half asian, and asians are robots or aliens…but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good to have sex with, in fact, it makes them better…

She was a soap star or child star in Thailand, and now she’s in America…hopefully for the fat people…and not fame and fortune…because under that assumption and as a fat person…I can give her all she needs…totally ready to suffocate on her while she’s sitting on my face…I can pretend her ass is an all you can eat buffet….and if I die in the process…I’ll be glad it happened…I’ve been trying to eat myself to death for decades…this would be a good end to a horrible story….

That said, she hasn’t necessarily made it as a huge A List start, but that doesn’t mean she won’t…she’s just getting started and she’s making a movie a month…more importantly…she is one of those big breasted asian actors totally eager and willing to get naked in movies because it is sure as hell better than doing Thai Ping Pong shows, at least according to her and not me, because according to me, life would be better if I could buy you for 5 dollars an hour, instead of staring at screen and renting her movie Jailbait for 5 dollars…because some of us still rent DVDs…the Video Store is the one place you can find girls who aren’t uppity…

Here are a bunch of the nudes from the movie..because that is the kind of acting I’ve always loved.

Posted in:Sara Malakul Lane

2014

27

Feb

Jeff Gordon’s Amazing Revenge of the DAy

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So Jeff Gordon did a prank last year for Pepsi Max, he went on test drives and fucked with the Car Salesmen. Everyone called it staged, because a big company like Pepsi wouldn’t really fuck around…and would have to make sure everything was in place, with the car dealerships, etc. Legally it doesn’t make sense…Sure the car salesman had no idea what was going on, but everyone else did…

In attempt to try to reclaim authenticity, they decided to prank the writer of Jalopnik, who wrote about it HERE ….and watching a blogger who thinks he’s a real journalist shit himself is pretty funny.

It’s obvious that just because they pranked the dude from Jalopnik, doesn’t make the experience “REAL”….there was a course set up, the cops were in on it, so when one person has no idea what’s going on but everything else is staged…shit is still staged…

What it comes down to is that I think I just posted another commercial without getting paid…fuck I’m an idiot.

Posted in:Videos

2014

27

Feb

Taylor Momsen Promo Shots of the Day

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You already saw TAYLOR MOMSEN in her body painted weirdo cross because she’s so fucking rock and roll and by rock and roll I mean some candy-coated hollywood pop tart who was raised with money and some level of stardom who everyone lost interest in when she turned 18 because everyone is a pervert and prefer when underage girls are posing topless, or in panties than after the fact….

She’s as legitimate as a smile on an employee who isn’t a pedophile at Disney Land…as hard as the water in her infinity pool…

She’s trying to find herself, have some edge, and everything we see is bullshit with executives backing her…and I am all about the arrow pointed at her cunt…it’s a road sign for my mouth that is easy to follow…

Posted in:Taylor Momsen

2014

27

Feb

Stage Mom Exploiting her Kid of the Day

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When I see videos like this…I see someone trying to a pull a scam…

I am assuming it is a stage mom, out exploiting her kid’s talent because dude can seriously play the Piano…hoping the video goes viral, because that could lead to a Vegas show…or record deal.

You know, create a Bieber of her own, since we all know that the record labels are watching this internet thing pretty fucking close…

The hat kind of gave it away.

Posted in:Videos

2014

27

Feb

Nina Agdal’s Carl’s Jr Commercial of the Day

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I am not getting paid by Nina Agdal or by Carl’s Jr…so I have no idea why I am posting their commercial…a commercial that they produced for the sole purpose of paying TV and Youtube to play in front of videos…for everyone to be annoyed by but for everyone to accept as all part of the distribution of media because it is important that all these people make billions of dollars selling to companies who make billions of dollars…all by brain washing us with models who probably make 1000 dollars a day, and only work 10 days a month….

I mean seriously, I am posting a fucking commercial for free…that they have a multi million dollar budget to spend on…and I am acting like it is news…because there’s a fucking bikini model for Sports Illustrated in it…what the fuck.

I just bought into their scam…but in my defense, I am more into the burger in her panties that Adam Levine ruined…but that’s just because I like tainted meat, it’s always more affordable…and tasty…

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2014

27

Feb

Creeping Cassandra Dawn’s Instagram of the Day

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I love Cassandra Dawn …because she’s a fucking babe…

In case you don’t know who she is, she is a pretty well known girl in the LA scene…who has been around for a minute…but is still under 25…so we can hope will be around for a lot more minutes…preferably spending some of those minutes as my my wife…because I have commitment issues but she’s so good I am willing to try…

You see, she’s got this great fucking look, and smile and this perfect balance of perfect…a tall, asian, with a twin, who if you google will see her naked shoots for companies like Playboy and TREATS…and we all know how much I love girl willing to get naked because naked is beautiful and naked is not a big deal or something we should hide…it should be celebrated…especially in pictures so I can participate without leaving my house…

That said, naked or not, we don’t want to focus on the past, the past just brought us here…it’s more about the future….

FOLLOW HER but don’t try to steal her from me…it will upset me. I don’t like sharing the few girls I like with you. I like to hoard but she’s too fun to keep for myself…

Posted in:Cassandra Dawn

2014

27

Feb

Keri Russell Sex Scene from The Americans of the Day

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Kerri Russell is on some show called The Americans…I’ve never heard of it, but I have heard of Keri Russell and not for the reason you think, because in 1991, I didn’t have the Disney Channel, so I wasn’t so into the Mickey Mouse club…however, I did know a lot of virgin loser weirdo dudes who went to the local college and who were obsessed with the show Felicity and thought that Kerri Russell was some kind of babe….

I have never seen the show, but I knew one particular guy who owned the fucking box set, which to me was so fucking weird, considering it wasn’t porn…and Felicity wasn’t hot…

That said, I’ve learned to understand the behavior of virgin losers, I assume they still have her face printed onto their pillows….and I assume they still kiss her goodnight every night…because they have a hard time letting go…even if Keri Russell has moved onto things like sex scenes for TV to show us that she can act…

People say this may be a body double, virgin losers have the ability to cross reference her beauty marks, I am just posting it cuz I feel like I have to…so here it is.

Posted in:Keri Russell

2014

27

Feb

Dunkin Love May be the Worst Thing You See of the Day

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I am not sure what kind of shit you are into…like this is the internet and you motherfuckers are the weirdos of the internet…so you must be into some real weird shit…but I am assuming that being an unemployed loser, you only wake up at around 1 pm and that I’m the first site you visit for your news…so that this is the first thing you see…a black man, in a dress, singing about Dunkin Donuts…interesting way to go viral…and guess what…it’s going viral…but that doesn’t mean it’s good…it just means it’s so bad we need to share with each other.

Posted in:Dunkin Love

2014

27

Feb

Evil Man who Must Die of the Day

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If you read the site…you know that I am all about dogs….and not in the way that THESE DUDES LIKE COWS ….but in a they’ve been our companions for what may be 1000s of years and in that time they have picked up the qualities that we like to think are human…like companionship and loyalty…kindness and unconditional love…that is always forgiving..even when it shouldn’t be…because dogs are fucking awesome…and people are the fucking assholes who mistreat them….like this guy, who abandoned his dog…and drove away.

I am not posting this because I think this is awesome, I am posting this hoping one of your recognizes the truck and and man and give him what he deserves…asshole.

Posted in:Videos

2014

27

Feb

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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My favorite thing about Throwback Thursday or #TBT to you instagram users is writing comments like “This throwback memory is way better than the one I have of that night I was molested”….or something similar..

My least favorite thing about Throwback Thursday or #TBT is asking girls I’ve slept with for updated pics of their pussies for a little #TBT in my jerking off…only to be ignored…not because being ignored makes me fee sad…I am pretty used to it…it is part of my charm…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Twerking Air Dancer
GO

Van Damme Zero Gravity Split
GO

Designers at Shutterstock Made Oscar Posters More Gangster
GO

Michelle Lewin Attention Seeking for the Paparazzi
GO

I Love Cam Girls…!!
GO

Girls with Tattoos
GO

It is OK To Call a Black Football Player a Black Football Player
GO

10 Of Katy Perry’s Bad Penis Choices
GO

Leah Remini Left Scientology for her Daughter
GO

Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore Sing Together on Tonight Show…
GO

The Necks of Pawn Stores
GO

Prolapsed Ass
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS