DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

21

Jun

Crystal Renn for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

Crystal Renn is some eating disorder model who almost died of being anorexic, before deciding to milk her anorexia, by forgetting to be anorexic, gaining 70 lbs, and becoming a plus sized model, all for a publicity stunt, to get her jobs and make her money…

You know, social commentary on the state of the model industry on women, with their “unrealistic” expectations that I think are totally realistic, and are in fact the only reason she existed…by losing weight for work and gaining weight in protest…while people watched…

It all helped her sell books…

Now she has lost all the weight to become a regular sized model, which is what she always was, but she just got misguided for a bit….and she still gets work, even though that kind of acting up would be enough for me to fire her ass if I was her boss….

And luckily, a lot of her work happens in the Swimsuit edition, and now Harper’s Bazaar….

I am always a fan of bikini pics, even if the bikini pics are on old broken down skinny girl turned fat girl turned skinny girl again…

I’m just that kind of pervert…who likes to see a pussy attached to various states of insanity over the course of its pussy lifetime…..

Posted in:Crystal Renn

2013

21

Jun

Paula Deen’s Apology is LOLZ of the Day

3 Comments »

There comes a point in raping your public image where you are too far gone to ever apologize, you know you either have to take ownership and ride it til it dies, or you do….or blame being drunk and going through diabetic shock…because the amount of people who believe your tears…

This isn’t the original video I saw, I guess she back peddled thanks to the shitty edits, that I only assume she’s getting coached through by her publicist because she’s got a team who make a lot of money off her…are probably very few and far between…

She’s lost and won’t get back anyone who is sensitive about racist shit, while her core fans, who are probably just as racist as her will just get mad she’s back peddling on their KKK agenda…

I don’t know shit on this story, I don’t even know who this hick racist bitch is, I just know people are talking about it, and it makes me laugh that this was her attempt at redemption…but I guess hicks aren’t really known for their smarts…

Her show has been cancelled despite the fact that she is on TV in the first place is just insane to me.

Either way, diabetes will eventually get her…or her feet and legs…and the

The good news is…when cable or Network TV turns it’s back on you..you can aways sex tape….and I would totally be into that…

I mean the only way to make us believe you aren’t racist is to release a video of you getting fucked up the ass or gang banged by a couple of black guys…

Get workin’ on that, now that you have the time off…

Go to the FOOD NETWORK’S FACEBOOK PAGE – To laugh at the Racists Defending their Hick Pig Woman

Posted in:Paula Deen

2013

21

Jun

Maria Menounos Still in Her Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s some Maria Menounos in Greece cuz she’s Greek and does Greek…wearing a bikini…playing in the water…showing off her hot body and tight ass that houses her greek prized possession…her anus….and despite being a totally low level celebrity on a shitty show that may be on every night but that is not very respectable, I am still into seeing her press her pussy against a bald head….while wet…battling her friend in a little wrestle as two other girls splash her…if anything, that shit’s like the first scene of a porno…a porno I wasn’t invited to…FUN…

TO SEE ALL HER BIKINI PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Maria Menounos

2013

21

Jun

Claudia Jordan in Bikinis of the DAy

1 Comment »

I only know who Claudia Jordan is because of Celebrity Apprentice, and even with Celebrity Apprentice, I don’t really know who Claudia Jordan is, she didn’t really get me excited enough to wikipedia her, and even watching her change her bikinis for that old app that instagram murdered called VINE, I still don’t really care to find out who she is…but I will post her self produced bikini porn, because let’s face it, it’s better than nothing…or is it?

TO SEE THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Claudia Jordan

2013

21

Jun

Kendall Jenner Bikini Model of the Day

4 Comments »

Kendall Jenner posted this picture to her instagram – stating that it’s not retouched yet guys…which I translated as “I think I’m hot enough to post my bikini photoshoots to my social media without being retouched like my pig sisters who don’t do anything without running it through our editorial team of handlers”…and I guess my response to that is…what 17 year old body really needs to be retouched when it is in a bikini…I see 17 year olds everyday in their ass hugging, ass cheek exposing shorts, because it is the style, and as shocking as it is that their parents let them out of the house like that, I kinda endorse it cuz it makes the older 23 year old asses a little insecure about their sloppiness, putting the fucking work…squat squat…

The funny thing about Kendall is her dreams of being a Victoria’s Secret model, glad she’s using her resources to change the world, and to not further endorse her own “I’m so hot, people look at me” spoiled brat ego…

PS – There is hope this family goes broke and she does porn by 30….fingers crossed.

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2013

21

Jun

LeAnn Rimes Bikini Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

Good little Christian LeAnn Rimes, who her hick fans just think is great, despite her looking like a trashy hollywood hooker, who happens to be a trashy hollywood hooker, that has gone so far as getting implants, home wrecking and making a fool of herself on social media consistently….you know that horse head just never shuts up…but her fans endorse and support because that’s what the good lord and saviour Jesus tells them to do, especially with a girl who sings so wholesome and sweet and touches their hearts because they are idiots and don’t realize it’s all money making marketing….

The good news is she’s in a bikini, and she’s not fat….in fact if you crop her head out, she’s almost worth jerking off to…but not quite as good as jerking off to her old wholesome country videos, knowing what she’s become…

TO SEE THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Leann Rimes

2013

21

Jun

Georgia May Jagger in Some Pre-Sex Tape Campaign of the Day

1 Comment »

I have a crush on Georgia May Jagger…and by crush I mean I want to make sweet love to her tenderly…

I don’t know much about her, I don’t know if this is her and her K-Fed of a boyfriend, eager for her to spend that trust fun on him, fooling her into thinking he is really in love, because rockstar daughters don’t know what normal relationships look like, and they want nothing more than an average romance, you know to be the opposite of their parents, making them easy targets to suck in…

…but not easy enough because otherwise I’d be up on this one…working her from every angle…just to have those Mick Jagger Lips on my dick…no homo…even though that came across pure homo…you get what I’m saying, she’s got big lips dammit..

The only hope I have, is that in her rich, broken, confused, daddy issue existence, this modelling somehow leads to her wanting to be outrageous and more famous, and that wanting the carve her own path in the already open field thanks to who daddy is, leads to a sex tape…

But maybe we’ll just have to settle on this school yard kissing, porn to some of you criminals I’m sure…you know cuz school yards is where you get all your freak boners…freak.

Here is the Sisley campaign….not that any of your rednecks care….I know…it’s boring…what a slut.

Posted in:Georgia May Jagger

2013

21

Jun

Kate Moss Posing on Motorbikes of the Day

2 Comments »

Here ares some pretty boring, standard, corporate, dull, safe, repetitive pics of Kate Moss sprawled over a motorcycle, that were shot by Terry Richardson, who I can only assume is getting ready to retire now that he’s been hired by every single company and has shot every single cover and has worked with every single celeb and model…because this shit is not interesting, compelling, or erotic…it’s like they walked in, collected their checks, snapped some pics, and went off to get wasted together, because that’s all this fashion shit is, a money making machine, that once you’re popular enough to be part of, you don’t have to do anything and the idiots will celebrate you…

You see Terry Richardson used to shoot low level amateur porn with hipsters…Kate Moss has been consistently nude most of her career…yet here in this shoot today…they did this…

What a bummer…but I still want to bum her…with my tongue…to taste the years of use…you know to taste the vintage aged anus that’s traveled the world…

Posted in:Kate Moss

2013

21

Jun

Iggy Azalea’s Hiding her Booty for Front of the Day

1 Comment »

The biggest tragedy in Iggy Azalea’s career is that she blocked me from social media right before she got famous. Back when she was in Canada getting her citizenship to work in the USA, I tried to organize a “Movie Date”, but got rejected and blacklisted from her life…which just goes to show you that I am on top of the shit before it gets famous, a sabotage my chances, and these people have no need for me to help them make it…

The biggest tragedy in this FRONT photoshoot, is that Iggy Azalea is not showing her booty, when her big white ass, is the only reason she’s got black producers up on her bullshit music…

But her video “WORK”….celebrates it enough for me….

Here are the photoshoot pics…that aren’t as good as the video….#epicfail

The reason it is an #epicfail is because when you have an eager bitch in your photo studio ready to get famous..or more famous…you make her work…work…work..workin on your shit…naked.

Posted in:Iggy Azalea

2013

21

Jun

Jessica Szohr’s Weird Fucking NIpples of the Day

3 Comments »

Dirty…and not just because she looks ethnic, or native, and like she’s been on a gas huffing bender that has led to drinking rubbing alcohol because she needs booze in her veins so bad…but because of that nipple…

I mean is that even just one nipple, or is she built like a cow, or dog, and has nipples along her milk chain, you know not quite as evolved as the rest of humans…or is it just her shirt…maybe she’s got a nipple ring…whatever it is, she should try to dress around that flaw, and not accentuate it…like she is in this pic…

Not that I’m against birth defects, a lot of times that shit is hot to me, especially when it comes in the form of two vaginas, no wait that’s not a birth defect, that’s all girls, thanks to their asshole.

YAY.

Posted in:Jessica Szohr