Jessica Szohr Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2021

03

Sep

Jessica Szohr Cleavage of the Day

Here’s Wisconsin’s finest, and I am not just saying that cuz she’s cheesy as fuck….I am saying that because she’s got big fake tits.

Her acting career involves being on Gossip Girl, where I guess she now feels like the other members of Destiny’s Child, while Blake Lively managed to win at life, while the rest were forgotten…I wonder what human sacrifice that takes, as this one continues to do unimpressive work, while having tits far better than Blake Lively….I don’t know if they are real, she had a kid back in January with a Hockey Player, so maybe she’s still lactating.

She’s currently on Seth Family Guy Guy’s show called “The Orville”….and as as far as I’m concerned her last name reminds me of herpes….sores…

TITS ARE TITS!

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Posted in:Jessica Szohr

2020

18

Mar

Jessica Szohr Got Them Tits Out of the Day

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Jessica Szohr, who you don’t remember, and I don’t give a fuck about, is out here promoting products like some bottom feeding pile of shit she’s become. I wouldn’t say it started with the fake tits, but I will say that every girl has a sex worker inside her waiting to make an appearance….sometimes that gets offset with religious beliefs, parents who would be disappointed, other social pressures…sometimes it gets offset by education, other opportunities….which in Jessica Szohr’s case was acting jobs…but when things dry up, like they will with this Coronavirus….the whore floats to the surface…you can’t tie enough rocks to them to keep them down….so here’s Jessica Szohr being a whore…..which may rhyme, but I don’t know how to pronounce that immigrant name so it may not rhyme.

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Posted in:Jessica Szohr|SFW

2019

14

Nov

Jessica Szohr Deep Stretch of the Day

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Jessica Szohr With The Deep Pussy Stretch

Jessica Szohr chiming in to remind you of the d to g-list actress that no one can really place…or remember but who I know was on GOSSIP girl….has a really fucking mangled and terrifying face, but that’s pretty much the basics of all women these days, especially those with money, in entertainment who have had some success, like being

She’s doing a DEEP PUSSY STRETCH to remind you she still exists and to give her vagina the flexibility and mobility to hop back into the CASTING COUCH Scene…girl needs to get paid…

I do think the name SZOHR is unfortunate, it reminds me of herpes sores, which makes the deep pussy stretch more exciting..I am Canadian, I don’t have herpes, but I have had chapped skin from the winter and know that stretching it out would sting and burn, while this one just comes at it…powers through it….like her pussy has no nerve endings…IMPRESSIVE…

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Posted in:Jessica Szohr|SFW

2019

21

Oct

Jessica Szohr Bra and Panties and Face of the Day

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Jessica Szohr who reminds me of Herpes because of how you pronounce her weird name, but also because she for sure has them….is out promoting bras because a girl needs to make a living…and tits help…

She was on Gossip Girl, she didn’t get the career that her Co-Star Blake Lively got, it could have something to do with her face being terrifying…but she still has been on some shit, and she still gets acting work at 35 years old, in things like Kingdom (never met it) and Orville (never met it – unless they mean the Microwave popcorn, in which case, I fucked that shit last night….but they don’t mean that popcorn…)…nothing relevant…

She says she is from Wisconsin, that she is half black / half Hungarian….has 22 tattoos and some I guess some titties…

This is pretty lame, but as a 35 year old has been, what do you expect….

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Posted in:Jessica Szohr|SFW

2019

08

Mar

Jessica Szohr Tits of the Day

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Jessica Szohr was on Gossip Girl, and recently played a lesbian on that Shameless show but thats about all she’s done aside from having a name that sounds like a herpes breakout …

SZOHRS ALL OVER MY GENITALS…..I hope they don’t get infected…and turn into penis cancer…I suck at life but I don’t want to die from the penis…or have the penis amputated before dying…I deserve better even if KARMA is a bitch.

Here are some other shots of her bush and nipples

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Posted in:Jessica Szohr|SFW

2018

09

Oct

Jessica Szohr Sniffing Nina Dobrev’s Ass of the Day

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Jessica Szohr rhymes with whore, or sore, which would be what you’d expect to find on the genitals of both Nina Dobrev and herself, because they are both washed up starts from yesteryear…

One was on Gossip Girl, a show no one remembers except maybe Blake Lively…and the other on Vampire Diaries…both at the top of the charts getting paid to act which I guess was a big deal…10 fucking years ago…but who now are just normal 30 year olds out at the party sniffing each other’s asses for a picture…

Jessica Szohr rhymes with whore looking like she’s put on some weight…Nina Dobrev short shorts never too short….both to girls living, at a festival maybe,

I know seeing 33 year olds acting like 20 year olds is all over social media, so why wouldn’t these actors who were famous pre social media, jump on that, since they’ve had a taste of the fame and love the attention….sniffing each other’s asses like a pack of dogs fighting over attention like it was a piece of raw meat in the junkyard…

Posted in:Jessica Szohr|Nina Dobev|SFW

2016

25

Apr

Jessica Szohr & Nina Dobrev in Bikinis of the Day

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Jessica Szohr is some garbage 30 something year old actress who you may or probably remember from Gossip Girl, you Autistic obsessive compulsive fucker who knows every girl on IMDB from low level to a-list…it’s a passions…she’s from Wisconsin, she was 2010’s People’s most beautiful people thanks to her publicist…and she’s friends with NINA DOBREV…

Nina Dobrev is a Canadian raised Bulgarian who is dating a dude named Scott Eastwood, son of Clint, rumored party animal creeper, who definitely fucks her up the ass…she’s also on a Vapire show..I’ve never seen….

Together they throw really lame looking pool parties for cheesy, uninteresting twats, who go to each other’s mansions and probably order sushi and all kids of goodies where they talk about boys and sing karaoke after one too many sangria’s…

Despite being in Hollywood, I highly doubt they are having lesbian coke fueled orgies, but then again, they are in Hollywood, have money and everyone loves lesbian coke fueled orgies…it’s all disney level PG cheesy on the surface, but when the phones are checked at the door…the weirdo actor behavior happens…which probably includes vagina puppetry..

Posted in:Jessica Szohr|Nina Dobrev|SFW

2015

14

Apr

Jessica Szohr NIpples of the Day

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Jessica Szohr has a pretty horrible last name, one that I assume is pronounced as “Sore”…something that also represent all things heprpes..related…

Making her a the constant reminder of the sores she may or may not have germinating in her genitals, thanks to being Hollywood, a place where having herpes is almost a status symbol, like the secret powerful virus that gets you into all the right events, despite being painful as fuck…

It’s like if you don’t have herpes, it means you didn’t fuck the right producer who likes giving girls herpes as a territory marking…

But then again, based on her career that hardly exists, it is quite possible she’s not one of those girls..becaus eif she was…maybe she’s had a more impressive IMDB page…

ALl this to say, I don’t even know who this girl is…but like the no bra and wifebeater look…so here she is..

Posted in:Jessica Szohr

2015

23

Feb

Jessica Szohr Kissing her Friend of the Day

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The only thing I don’t like about a girl named Jessica Szohr, is the constant reminder of the sores she may or may not have germinating in her genitals, thanks to being Hollywood, a place where having herpes is almost a status symbol, like the secret powerful virus that gets you into all the right events, despite being painful sores on your genitals, since all the cool kids have it in a “OMg, you don’t have herpes, you totally haven’t been fucking high profile enough people”…it’s a horrible, vapid, empty, insane place this Hollywood bullshit…but if you want to make it to feed your little ego that tells you that you’ve got what it takes…you need a little more than your name to be SZOHR and a lot more of the rash on your cunt to be open sores…and based on her level of success and lesbianism on her social media, it’s safe to say…she may not have sores…but instead is just named SZOHR…

Yes…I just did a useless rant about a girl I don’t know based on her name rhyming with sores…my life is pathetic.

Posted in:Jessica Szohr

2013

21

Jun

Jessica Szohr’s Weird Fucking NIpples of the Day

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Dirty…and not just because she looks ethnic, or native, and like she’s been on a gas huffing bender that has led to drinking rubbing alcohol because she needs booze in her veins so bad…but because of that nipple…

I mean is that even just one nipple, or is she built like a cow, or dog, and has nipples along her milk chain, you know not quite as evolved as the rest of humans…or is it just her shirt…maybe she’s got a nipple ring…whatever it is, she should try to dress around that flaw, and not accentuate it…like she is in this pic…

Not that I’m against birth defects, a lot of times that shit is hot to me, especially when it comes in the form of two vaginas, no wait that’s not a birth defect, that’s all girls, thanks to their asshole.

YAY.

Posted in:Jessica Szohr

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