DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

08

Oct

Kelly Osbourne Scary in a Bikini of the Day

Kelly Osbourne reminds me that if I was ever a pork farmer…I’d totally dress the pig up in a bikini before slaugtering it because it would be so comical and amusing in an otherwise shit filled world…

I get that she’s lost a lot of weight…but that doesn’t mean seeing her half naked is something we need to celebrate…unless we were people who were forced to see her half naked before the fitness regime, like her boyfriend that is using her to get to her dad and his money, cuz when forced to chose fat Kelly or this Kelly, the choice is obvious….but the new Kelly is up against all the actual hot girls in bikinis….which happen to be something she is not…but the one thing she does have going for her…is a rockin’ trust fund…so I guess she’s not all bad…as long as she’s not in a bikini….

TO SEE THE REST OF A PIG IN A BIKINI
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2012

08

Oct

Christina Aguilera’s New Cover of the Day

5 Comments »

I have a question…How many of you have masturbated to the new cover pic for the X-Tina – I think she goes by Christina Aguilera now…cuz X-Tina was too erotic and lean for someone so fucking large……and disgusting….because I guess she’s addicted to emotionally eating cuz she can now that that world has embraced her fatness and accepted her as more than a poptart with implants and a big irritating singing voice…which is unfortunate…cuz I like social pressure on all girls to look awesome and think this is bad for the fight against diabetes as fat girls everywhere say “well I’m not as fat as Christina Aguilera so I can afford to have this slice of Pizza”….bad fucking news.

I am not sure if she’s a mermaid in this shit…but I am sure she’s not exploiting her one redeeming quality in her obesity….her tits….what a disaster.

Apparently if you play around with the conrrast of he pic….you can see her fat girl vagina lips….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2012

08

Oct

Barbara Palvin for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

3 Comments »

Barbara Palvin is 18…..and she’s the future of Victoria’s Secret….making me wonder where these Victoria’s Secret scouts look for new pussy to get half naked the day it turns 18….but I assume it’s in the school yard…or even in their Eastern European training camp head quarters where these immigrant bitches are bred to be stars…with diet, fitness, and awesome tans….ready to give husbands lingerie catalog masturbation fodder…and you know what…it works for me…cuz when I try to trick 18 year olds to get naked….it’s way less effective than Victoria’s Secret’s moves…more proof that being an evil corporation is awesome…

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2012

08

Oct

Rihanna in a Bra to Promote Perfume of the Day

6 Comments »

Apparently this is Rihanna promoting perfume in lingerie….despite the fact that this version of Rihanna has pretty big tits…when real life version of Rihanna doesn’t…but I guess topless girls with shitty tits don’t sell perfume as topless girls in push up bras do…I mean I am not a girl…but I know if I was…seeing a topless chick in a push up bra would make me want to buy a scent that I doubt smells like child prostitute turned pop star….or even like unshowered, battered wife, but of something a lab came up with and Rihanna signed off on for Royalties…cuz it’s all about making motherfucking money with little to no work….it’s way better than being a chamber maid at a luxury resort in her home town.

Posted in:Rihanna

2012

08

Oct

Hayden Panettere’s Nashville Promos With Implants of the Day

1 Comment »

Hayden Panettiere is cast in a new show called Nashville and these are the promo pics for the big event that premieres on October 10…..but her implants are premiering today…in her tight white dress.

The show is about a falling country star and a rising country star we will call Taylor Swift who is played by Hayden Panettiere….but more interesting are her implants in her tight white dress….implants that I think were a smart choice cuz they balance out her otherwise boxy body and broad shoulders…implants that I am sure her circus sex partners enjoy because they have something more than shitty pecs to grab on….implants that she probably got from her momma…cuz if you’ve seen her mom…. PLASTIC SURGERY ….is kinda common practice…hell maybe these implants are her mom’s hand me downs…but just cuz she looks like a gutter hooker doesn’t mean she’s a gutter hooker, this is hollywood people….they can afford their own damn implants…

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere

2012

08

Oct

AnnaLynne McCord G-String for Attention of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t give a fuck about AnnaLynne McCord….at all. She’s so low on the totem pole of relevance…that she just doesn’t fucking matter on any level…even the show she is probably not paid to be on is a remake of 90s garbage that we were forced to watch cuz we only had 10 channels….you know the kind of smut designed to fill time now that there is constant time to fill in this digital world….

Seriously, she could be spread assed wearing a mask….and I would look but not care…and spread ass in mask is my fetish….that’s just how irrelevant this trash is….

Here she is showing off a G-String…that she either wears for this purpose, or because she’s on her period…or because she has a yeast infection and doesn’t want her treatment to stain her whore jeans….

For More Pics of Her PDA and G-String For Attention….
Follow This Link

Posted in:Annalynne McCord

2012

08

Oct

Mila Kunis is Pretty Amazing for Esquire November of the Day

16 Comments »

I am going to call bullshit on Mila Kunis being the sexiest woman alive….because she is not the sexiest woman alive…that’s a bold fucking statement….making me wonder what the motives are here….

Is it an ad deal for one of her upcoming movies?

Is Ashton Kutcher an investor in Esquire, or a friend to Esquire and would he trick the editors into making his girl the sexiest woman alive, since it makes him feel good about himself…and his possible small penis….that I would assume he has based on the amount of constant attention he draws on himself…..

Maybe Esquire is run by her publicist who told them choose Mila or we’ll cut off the information supply…cuz before this photoshoot…Mila Kunis was never sexy….she was cute and nerds loved her…but even in bikini in movies she was like the girl next door with a nice face that Ashton Kutcher violates when not masturbating to granny porn…

Sure she’s hot, she takes a good photo and she looks fucking sexy with her shirt off and her ass all round and lovely in a bikini for Esquire…but I think this is the first time this sexy thing has happened for her…confusing me…but not making me complain too hard cuz she looks pretty amazing and I am a fan of amazing.

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2012

08

Oct

Lady Gaga Throws Up on Stage Video of the Day

1 Comment »

I can only assume that Lady Gaga saw all the Justin Bieber Puke Video and was jealous of all the attention he got…you know because getting topless, dressing up in meat, and pulling all the stunts she’s pulled has become played out, expected and boring and the only thing that will get us to notice her now is if she starred in a snuff film…

That’s why you gotta keep it conservative and leak the crazy slowly over time…

She’s the worst latch on who doesn’t deserve fame ever…but watching her puke on stage makes me laugh…so at least she’s good for something…

Here’s the video…of some serious projectile shit….I’m just impressed the gay dancer doesn’t run off screaming or start puking himself….even though that would have made it better.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Videos

2012

08

Oct

Zippora Seven Naked for Russh Australia November of the Day

1 Comment »

Show NSFW Content

Zippora Seven is naked for Russh Magazine…she’s a 20 year old New Zealand model with the coolest fucking name…who more importantly gets naked for fashion…something I support fully….

These pics are from the latest issue of Russh, but 4 years ago, the same magazine published pics of her topless at 16….what some would consider kiddie porn or inappropriate..but what fashion considers art, or high concept…perfect cover for all you creeps…

Posted in:NSFW|Zippora Seven

2012

08

Oct

Eva Downey is Pretty Alright for Cosmo Australia of the Day

No Comments »

I am pretty hooked on Australian models right now….her name is Eva Downey, she’s in a bikini and I’ve never heard of her…but google tells me that she’s from New Zealand and Australia…she’s tall, she’s skinny and like all girls in my Australian fantasy, she’s probably into having fun, hard drinking and raging out like she’s not hot at all….you know sloppy like a fat girl at 4 in the morning looking for a dick to suck…but not a fat girl at all….but a model…from Australia…who just likes to have fun…

Maybe I’m wrong about Australia…and maybe the women are as leathery as the crocodiles Dundee hunts, but as far as I’m concerned they are beach living, blonde and better than my wife…which is not saying much but it is all I really need.

Posted in:Eva Downey