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2011

05

Sep

Scarlett Johansson’s Tight Avenger Outfit of the Day

Here’s some dumpy shit that’s marketed as being hot for all the virgin losers who love all things comic book and the women in costumes who are bringing their fantasies they’ve jerked off to since they were teenage boys, unable to process how weird jerking off to a drawing is…..

Her name is Scarlett Johansson and she’s taken her half assed, raspy voice, shitty acting and gut and put them into some spanx and spandex to re-invent her sloppy self…and you’re going to masturbate to her….again….maybe cuz she reminds you of a 40 year old mom….who should be wearing an oversized sweatsuit to her pilates class…and that feels like home…but I’m pretty sure it’s just marketing…cuz this bitch is overrated and more importantly overfed. Get her away from the craft services table motherfucker, you have a movie to make….

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Posted in:Scarlett Johansson

2011

05

Sep

Ellen Page Shitty Lesbian Kiss of the Day

Someone sent me this picture that is supposed to be of Ellen Page kissing one of her friends…and I have no idea how dude could decipher than this was the lesbian who played Juno or why he really cared, because when I watched the movie, I knew she wasn’t actually knocked up by Michael Cera, that’s dudes a fucking virgin, and even as a celebrity with all his fame for being the awkward dude, is still a virgin, I’m convinced….you know making me think she went to the sperm donor clinic, or bought some bootleg sperm off the internet to syringe her fucking self….like lesbians do…so seeing her kissing a friend in what could be a cry for attention, hasn’t got shit on the lesbian asshole licking and strap on sex she has with other bitches she meets at her knitting /organic garden club….which reminds me….that all lesbians hate me.

Posted in:Ellen Page

2011

05

Sep

Mourning Hangover Dump of the Day

It’s the long weekend…but luckily for you I have nothing better to do with my time than sit on my shitty computer with a broken “T” button on the keyboard and post pics of irrelevant people who for some reason people find relevant, cuz rain or shine, drunk or high, sleep deprived or well rested, I update this bullshit…and I have no idea why…here are some things going on around the other sites, while I brush myself off, sober myself up, touch my penis to ensure it still works, and cry cuz it’s okay to have a good cry a few times a day…especially when you’re a loser like us….

Under the Table Flirt Starts Things Off
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Jessica Barton Has One Great Rack
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The Steamiest MMA Hottie Videos on the Planet
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Free Cam Shows to Start Your Week Off Right
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Gallery: What Will PETA’s “Porn” Site Look Like?
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Some Super Sexy Cheerleaders
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If This Shit is True, The Kardashians Really Are Fucking Shameless
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Cute Brunette Gets Herself Off in Public
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Live Cam Shows That Will Make Your Monday a Little Bit Better
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Posted in:MHD

2011

05

Sep

Elisha Cuthbert Not Dead of the Day

Woah…Elsha Cuthbert pics are making the internet rounds…and I forgot this bitch exists…mainly cuz I don’t watch TV…or keep track of cunts like Elisha Cuthbet…I mean I’ve only done a handful of posts on her 3 years ago….cuz she was in a bikini with hard nipples and a bikini showing some ass back in 2008….and hiding behind a camera in a bikini with sheer pants on back in 2007…..

I know people who know Elisha Cuthbert because she is from Montreal…which happens to be where I live and there are only a dozen english people so everyone knows everyone….Apparently, she always had an ego, always thought she was important, because at a young age she was cast on some shitty TV show and the second you put a bitch on TV it’s all fucking over, their egos inflate, they move to LA and get cast in movies…only to come back with their hockey boyfriends and happen to be in the same bar as me one night…unwilling to respond to my requests to grab her breast….That’s why I tried to organize a candle light vigil for her career at her parent’s house, cuz her sister was living here, but no one was into my genius concept…instead they all wanted to jerk off to her cuz she was on 24 or Girl Next Door or some shit….

Either way, I hear she’s back on TV, and here are her tits in some photoshopped photoshoot that erased all her hard living and the fact that she’s pretty much 30 and boring….but she’s got tits…and I guess that counts for something…and that something doesn’t matter…this bitch needs to get substantially more naked, more scandalous, cuz that’s what I think her career and your masturbation habits really need…not that I like giving you my advice on your masturbation…it’s kinda gay…but I do prefer when the pics I post aren’t this well dressed and put together and more raw and gaping…Goodtimes…

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert

2011

04

Sep

Labor Day Birthing Videos to Celebrate Labor Day of the Day

It is a long standing tradition here at drunkenstepfather.com – that we celebrate labor day with the first 5 birthing videos we find – because lets face it – vagina being shredded apart with baby close up videos are the best way to celebrate the long weekend…I mean other than getting drunk and fucking college co-eds who are new to your city and in need of a tour….of your dick….but don’t get too close…cuz some girls lie about being into abortions and you may end up being the asshole cloth holder in one of these videos…trapped for life….

So here’s to new life to celebrate the end of summer and not being alloed to wear white…

Bi-Racial Home Birth….

A Painful Birth

A Purple Faced Baby with Lots of Fluid

Doggy Style Birth

The Close Up…

Vagina Never Looked so Scary….

Posted in:Labor Day

2011

02

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

Don’t tell a girl on facebook who lives down the street from you that you found by digging through facebook “let’s meat” if you ever want to actually fuck her. Cuz it will creep her out. Heads up.

Happy long weekend even though every day is the weekend for me….don’t die…I need the traffic cuz I’m dying….I’m also like a period – better late than never….except when it comes to showing up to parties…cuz people tend to insist I’m better never than late…they just invite me to be nice…..here are my stepLINKS….DRINK TIME.


Some Glee Gone Bad Domestic Abuse Pics By Some Lame Photog
GO

If You’ve Decided You Don’t Like Hearing Anymore and Want to Drive a Screwdriver into Your Ear Drums, This Should Help Motivate You
GO

100 Pictures of Hot Girls Tailgating….
GO

This Will Get You Laid…Cuz Girls Like Rugged Drunks…….
GO

Jet Skiing on the Street!!
GO

Bar Refaeli Whores Up Venice
GO

Jenner Jailbait Whoring Out
GO

Live Cam Shows to Make Your Weekend Better
GO

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One: Lindsay Lohan is Mad Cause People Are Making Fun Of Her Again
GO

Close Call on a Motorcycle Holy Shit – VIDEO
GO

Well Hello There Hailey
GO

the Sexiest Twitter Pics You Will See All Day
GO

Happy Labor Day! A Gallery Of Hot Women In White Bikinis
GO

Elisabetta Canalis’ Booty Belongs In Spandex
GO

WTF Video of the Day – 4 Year Old Driver in China – VIDEO
GO

Audrina Patridge Should Really Only Do This Forever
GO

Free Cam Shows, Because It’s Gonna Be a Cheap Ass Weekend
GO

When Its a Girls Only Night, Things Get Sexy – VIDEO
GO

Looking Good Sweetheart
GO

35 Most Eligible Sports Hotties
GO

AnnaLynne McCord Nipple Peek
GO

Keira Knightley is in This Photoset and Still Looking Bang Worthy
GO

Emma Stone is as Sexy as Ever
GO

Ice T Lost His Cool at LAX
GO

Christina Aguilera Lost, Like, a Bajillion Dollars* on Her House *estimated
GO

How About Some Bikini Babe Hotness
GO

A Whole Gallery of Asian Hotties
GO

Lady Gaga is Still Gross
GO

Slutty GIF Will Make Your Day
GO

Faye is Slutty on Video
GO

Dirty Illustrations are Awesome
GO

Miranda Kerr is Sexy on the Runway
GO

Sharon Sure Loves That Dildo
GO

Crazy Fucking Hail Storm – VIDEO
GO

This Chick is Like an Asian Doll – VIDEO
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And Here’s Some Megan Fox
GO

Random Pic Dump of the Day
GO

Parkour Cat WTF – VIDEO
GO

Petra is Stripping Outdoors
GO

Marisa Tomei is Still Sexy
GO

Say Hello to Hotties
GO

Heather Morris Has a Domestic Violence Photoshoot
GO

Amanda Seyfried is Busty and Leggy
GO

Some Hot German Bitch Enjoying Some Water Sports
GO

How Fucking Bad Ass Is This?
GO

Coco Dresses Up For LAX Security
GO

Audrina Patridge Or Her Mom? Both Have Big Tits And Here They Are
GO

Jojo Shows Off Her Young Girl Cleavage And Some Nice Fuck Me Boots
GO

Miranda Kerr Boring Runway Pictures
GO

Some Kate Winslet Bra Dress
http://www.celebuzz.com/photos/miranda-kerr-hits-the-http://www.thesuperficial.com/the-crap-we-missed-friday-9-2-11-09-2011/0902-the-crap-we-missed-40/”target=”_blank”>GO

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Posted in:stepLINKS

2011

02

Sep

Jennifer Garner Flashing Panties of the Day

Here are some pictures of serial mom Jennifer garner showing off her panties….

This could have been erotic if it wasn’t pictures Jennifer Garner….

She’s just not hot. If anything she’s the kind of homely bitch who always looks dirty…like she has an ass that smells like feces and sweat…You know like the bitch in my housing project who doesn’t shower or change her clothes, cuz she’s too busy getting knocked up by various black dudes for the government welfare credits she gets having more kids…..only the Hollywood version…..so seeing her underwear almost makes me sick….even though I love dirty panties, but more importantly even though I know they are clean thanks to her team of housekeepers….I just never found her hot…and seeing her pregnant in a thong doesn’t turn me on like it should…it repulses me….

There’s something about her loving showing her ass she’s done it before … and I call that being a slob, disheveled and unware and here are her panties, cuz they are funny…

Posted in:Jennifer Garner

2011

02

Sep

Ali Larter in Leggings of the Day

I may have been wrong about this Ali Larter bitch….because I called her out for having fake tits put in during her pregnancy so that she could blame the pregnancy for her new tits, cuz she never had tits and girls with no tits are always sensitive about that shit but based on these working out to lose the baby weight pics….it looks like she also lost them tits….making everything I thought about her a figment of my imagination….Crazy.

Posted in:Ali Larter

2011

02

Sep

Vanessa Hudgens Showing Bra of the Day

Here’s dumpy part time self-shot porn peddler, part time actor, part time lesbian, part time front to a gay guy for media attention cuz she was owned by Disney, Vanessa Hudgens….and she’s wearing workout gear which I assume is in response to all the teasing and renaming of her to Vanessa Pudgens, cuz you know she reads my site, at least her legal team does, cuz they always email me such nicely writen threats that I intrepret as love letters and poetry to praise our relationship….cuz that’ real love….but then again I drink alot, I’m confused, and often times dillusional…FUN.

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2011

02

Sep

Hilary Duff Pregnancy Watch of the Day

I like keeping track of Hilary Duff’s pregnancy…you know there’s just something about hormonal changes and the inability to get knocked up cuz she’s already knocked up that tickles my fucking prostate, wakes it up, and reminds it to go back into semen production….

Posted in:Hilary Duff