I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

14

Nov

I am – Vanessa Minnillo’s Ass Shopping of the Day

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I got a thing for watching useless d-list celebrities shopping, mainly because it reminds me that a lot of people who suck at life are doing a lot better than I am, and that is the kind of re-affirmation I need to continue hating myself.

While leaving the bar last night, I ended up seeing one really hot chick and her ugly friend walking down the other side of the street with bikes in one hand and the front tire in the other. I have a thing for girls who steal bikes , that shit is like porn to me, so I decided to run up to them and see what the deal was, hoping I’d have a better outcome than the last time.

The hot girl was decent with me and joking around about how they stole bikes, but her friend went fucking crazy on me for being english. She was telling me how fat and ugly I am and how I lack culture because I don’t speak their fuckin’ language. She went on about how French is Montreal and how I have no business being there, so when I asked it that meant she wouldn’t let me watch her masturbate she fuckin’ lost it and tried to have a fight with me. I was fucking wasted and felt like punching a bitch in the face woulda made for a good end to my night, so I tried to convince her to hit me first, but she just got in her cab, with her stolen bikes and drove out of my life.

Reality is, I don’t hit girls but I woulda used to opportunity to just tried to wrestle her to the ground and start makin’ out with her, because fighting with girls is embarrassing, because I know she would have won.

Speaking of winning, it looks like Nick Lachey didn’t win the lottery with this slut after spending a couple years slammin’ Jessica Simpson, this is a step down, but she’s still better lookin’ than I am and even if that isn’t saying much, it’s sayin’ something…like I’d still watch her touch her toes, over and over and over….


Related Posts:

Vanessa Minnillo Fully Nude
Nick and Vanessa In the Hot Tub

Posted in:Ass|Nipple|Shopping|Tits|Unsorted|Vanessa Minnillo

2007

14

Nov

I am – Nicole Scherzinger’s Bra is Rockin’ the Vote of the Day

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Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger wants you to rock the vote, because her publicist probably told her it’d be a good idea to attend the event, while her stylist felt that it’d be hot for her to wear some intense bra under her lowcut shirt for a reason I’ll never understand, because there’s nothing worse than a girl in a backless dress and a bra, or a tube top with bra straps hanging out. I am guessing it’s because this bitch needs all the support she can get, because she even old bitches who look like some kind of live action real doll need the magic of a wonderbra too.

I was at some bar last night drinking and this young girl in a jewish outfit of the day was dancing on the stage rockin’ the stripper pole. She ended up pulling down her dress and I was all excited to see some tit only to reveal some American Apparel leotard shit that she was wearing under her dress. I didn’t understand what the fuck she was doing with all these layers, it was some kind of shit that will annoy the motherfucker who ended up taking her home, because dude’s gotta be some kind of David Blaine to undress her. Maybe she was trying to be funny, like these whores I played strip poker with a couple of months ago. I fucking hate all board games and card games, because I guess I hate fun and feel like a fucking asshole when doing it, but the idea of seeing these young whores naked was enough to make me give into the gayness. What I didn’t know was that they were each wearing 5 pairs of fucking socks, 2 pairs of pants and 3 pairs of underwear and I don’t even thing I got them down to the bottom layer. Shit was like trying to get to the middle of a tootsie pop, but didn’t taste as good.


Related Posts:

Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video
Pussycat Doll’s Pussy Cleavage
Pussycat Dolls Performing
Pam Anderson is a Pussycat Doll

Posted in:Bra|cleavage|Nicole Scherzinger|Unsorted

2007

14

Nov

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Pregnancy Belly of the Day

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I never understood the pride a girl takes into being pregnant. I always see these pregnant girls rubbing their bellies and posing in pictures holding their stomachs or even taking pictures showing the progression of how big they get. We get it, you’re pregnant, you fuck and you let a dude cum inside you and now you’ve got some parasite growing inside of you that you would probably be better off hiding away because you don’t always have to constantly remind us that you’re damaged goods. There’s no point in making a fucking spectacle of it….

Single mother’s are easy pickings at the bar. They rarely go out and when they do it’s because they want to fuck and that may be a good time, because they have all this other shit going on in their lives, so they only want your cock and if they want some repeat business, and call you to hook up, they just want to hook up. They generally don’t want their kids knowing how much of a whore they are, so they try to keep you as far away from them as possible and you always get with them on nights when the kid is at the father’s, which is one about 4 days a month, so it makes for a good time, with little amount of effort to put in. The problem is that the second they get hooked on you and think you’re a good guy, is the second you become a fuckin’ real stepfather, and as a stepfather, I can tell you that it fucking sucks. You have to put up with shit from annoying kids that aren’t yours, so it’s really like dating 2 or 3 people, instead of dating the one you’re fuckin’…..not to mention, becoming a family man takes away from getting pussy from other girls, because they feel like homewreckers and despite some girls getting off to that shit, it’s a hard fuckin’ sell. Not that any of this really affects you, you have enough trouble having sex with yourself, because you’ve been doing it for so long it’s become a chore, like having sex with your wife after being married for 30 years and she’s no longer than hot piece she once was.

Either way, Christina doesn’t make a hot pregnant chick, she looks like the town whore who had one too many abortions and had no choice but to bring the baby to term. All her make-up doesn’t hide the fact that her time in every teenage boys masturbation fantasies is done….because she’s going to be a fuckin’ mom…..and that shit is worse than AIDS, unless you’re the baby daddy, then it’s just a smart business decision.


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Christina Aguilera’s Pregnancy Tits
Christina Aguilera’s Insane Cleavage in China
stepTV does Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus

Posted in:Belly|Christina Aguilera|Pregnant|Tits|Unsorted

2007

14

Nov

I am – Tara Reid Showing Up Late for Work of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Here are some pictures of Tara Reid showing up an hour late for work in Vancouver probably from a late night drinking. I am running late today too and it’s probably for the same reason. Based on what she’s wearing, you’d think she was showing up for the afternoon shift at the strip club and not showing up to some movie set.

I used to park outside the strip club back when I had a driver’s license and my neighbor’s car keys, before getting charged with a DUI and losing that shit and leaving my neighbor’s shit box on the side of the highway, and all the daytime strippers would show up like this. They’d be wearing their club slut coat, with track pants and a haggard face from an abusive night before, only to get inside and take the shit off for a dude who pays them 10 dollars a song, which rarely happened because it was the afternoon shift. I guess there are a lot of similarities between Tara Reid’s career and an afternoon stripper, because makin’ money rarely happens which is too bad because she still owes money on her implants she bought on credit.

Either way, I am not a fashionable person. I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong and I generally don’t give a fuck about what a girl is wearing, I am more into what a girl isn’t wearing and how I am going to get them to take off whatever they are wearing to do a little dance for me. But that’s just because I love dancing.


Related Posts:

Tara Reid Hot in FHM Magazine
Tara Reid’s See Through Shirt
Tara Reid’s Bikini Pictures
Tara Reid’s Old Man Ass

Posted in:Haggard|Late|Tara Reid|Unsorted

2007

14

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I’ve been sitting in a Starbucks for the last 6 hours because my wife is having one of those days where she smells really bad and I can’t deal with it despite that fact that I married it.

I was hoping I’d see something interesting happen but then I realized that interesting people don’t do coffee shops. All I got was some girl who’s age I was betting on with some pervert who was lookin’ at her tits with me, I was aiming for 18 because it makes me feel less dirty but he was convinced she was 14 and was so into it.

Then I had to deal with pregnant couples make lame pregnant couple jokes, that made me realize exactly what their lives at home are like and their happiness was fucking offensive, I thought pregnant bitches were supposed to be hormonal and have some edge, not giving high fives to their baby daddy’s like they are the biggest fucking cunts on the planet.

Then some old creepy dude seemed to be chatting up this young dude by asking him what music he likes and asking him what websites he downloads shit from, then dude went into chatting about how he’s missing Law and Order SVU, because that’s his favorite but he also likes criminal minds and CSI, then he invited the young dude over for a jam session…which I can only assume in his mind meant cummin on dude’s ass before pullin’ the tricks he’s learnt on all his crime shows….I thought about calling the cops, but figured I’d write about instead, I don’t like cops that much and I also don’t like the staff of Starbucks, I saw them hand out at least 50 free drinks to their homies who rolled through, while I sat there like an asshole nursing my coffee for 6 hours, like I was an 18 year old punk in a strip club nursing my 10 dollar beer because I only had enough money for one beer and wanted to take in as much pussy as I could but was scared they’d kick me out if I was sitting there running on empty…

Fuck starbucks, here are my links….

Claudia Schiffer in a See Through Dress at the Beach
GO

A Bunch of Stupid Brown People Try To Flip Over a Car
GO

Some Sex Ringtone Prank That You’ve Probably Already Seen But is New To Me
GO

Some Indian Man Marries His Dog….
GO

Christina Aguilera’s Baby Shower Video….
GO

Some Russian Snowboarding Behind a Train Because Russians Are Insane
GO

Owen Wilson’s Dating Some Model Named Le Call(girl) here are her Lingerie Pictures
GO

Miss Nude World Girls Kissing Topless on Howard Stern
GO

A WHole Lot of Sluts at A Car Show
GO

Paris Hilton is Either Pregnant or Bloated but I think Neither Are Possible Since Her Lady Parts Fell Out a Couple Years Ago, So Maybe She’s Just Fat
GO

Sex in the Internet Cafe
GO

Chelsy Davy is Prince Harry’s Girlfriend Who Dumped Him For Texting Other Chicks…These Are Pictures of Her Emotionally Wrecked Over the Whole Thing…Dude’s a Prince and Could Easily Get Better Pussy….Or at Least Pussy That Doesn’t Dump Him For Talking To Other Pussy….and Joins In the Fun….
GO

More Pictures of the Sharon Stone Camel Toe
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Kelly Clarkson’s Been Emotionally Eating Her Body into a Fat Chick
GO

Meet the Gentle Giant – Who’s Pretty Fuckin Weird Lookin and Will Give You Nightmares
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Christina Aguilera All Bundled Up While Pregnant…I Guess The Air Conditioning in LA is Strong
GO

The Coolest Crazy Homeless Person I’ve Seen Today
GO

The Duffgusting Sisters Hang With Fat Dudes in a Purse to Make Them Look Skinnier
GO

Some Wardrobe Malfunction Business on Some Gameshow
GO

A Little More Haylie Duff Because Bitch is Fucking Weird Looking…
GO

Shakira is an Wild and Adventurous Columbian Because She Wears Animal Prints
GO

Boy George is Charged With Kidnapping Some Homo and Chaining Him To The Wall
GO

Sluts Getting Down and Dirty with Each Making Their Parents Proud
GO

Some Angie Harmon (who?) on the Cover of Shape Magazine with a Hot Photoshopped Body
GO

French Chicks Like Wine…A lot…
GO

Jailbait for You To Get Arrested Over of the Day
GO

Brooke Hogan Working Out Pictures
GO

Kristy Roche is Some Girl Who Is Posing Half Naked in Ralph Magazine
GO

The Karashians Are Signed for Season 2 – Exclusive – Thanks Ryan Seacrest
GO

Some Site is Name Dropping Me When Talking About Tits…Because I Am an Expert on Tits, I guess You Need a Set to Really Understand Them, Thanks Beer.
GO

These People are Turning into Trees and It’s Fucking Disgusting
GO

Sarah Silverman’s Aids Song is Offensive Because I Hate Her
GO

The Top 20 Side Boobs of All Time
GO

Battle Of The Bust
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Lohan’s Newest Addiction…Buying Expensive Purses…Look at Her Face…Looks Like She’s Scoring Crack
GO

Vivica Fox Showing Off Her Body in Some Half Naked Photoshoot
GO

Some Celebrity I’ve Never Heard of Steals Other People’s Tip Money…Because That’s the Way I Tip a Bartender….too
GO

Jonah Ray’s Freeloaders Guide To Internet Dating
GO

Reese Witherspoon is on the Cover of Southern Beauty Magazine
GO

Jordan / Katie Price Dresses Like a Nun For Her Husband in Bed Cuz She’s So Naughty
GO

Some Chinese Dude Cookin’ Rats for Dinner Because That’s What Hungry People Do
GO

Some Chick Named Gabriela’s Got some Big Fuckin’ Tits
GO

The Hottest Ass of the Year
GO

Dude With 8 Cocks Keeps Some Slag Busy….
GO

Kathy Griffen’s Husband is a Lookin’ Good Sweetheart…But Then Again So Is She…It’s So Nice When Ugly People Find Love…
GO

Some Webcam Chick Stripping
GO

Vintage Lesbian Video
GO

Mike Tyson’s Greatest moments:
GO

Anna Beatriz Barros Lookin’ Insanely Hot in These Posed Pics
GO

From Photobucket:

Some Dude Posts a Couple Pics of Some GIrls Taking Nude Pics Together on their Camera Phone For Him
GO

Some Girl Shows Off Her Nakedness
GO

From the Forum:

Some UT Drama Major – Acting Naked
GO

Some Chick Named Susanna is a Cocktease
GO

Some New Suicide GIrl Download
GO

Celeste Fox is a Porn Site that Does Good
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

13

Nov

I am – Ashlee Simpson’s Lookin’ Alright of the Day

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I have decided to make my site for hot chicks and only hot chicks so if you aren’t a hot chick, leave and never come back, this place isn’t for you. If you are a hot chick, then hey baby, what’s up? Do you come here often? You know I write this site don’t you? Does that make you want to shower for me? Let’s get busy.

That’s enough dreamin’, I know you are a dude and I am over it, but I am not over this Simpson sister because Ashlee’s lookin’ better than usual, I guess dating fags does good things for a girl. He probably does her hair and make-up and dresses her to look stylish, before crying himself to sleep and writing about it for his next Fall Out Boy song about how misunderstood he is. Or maybe the Botox she’s getting at 23 to make her eyes look bigger is pullin’ through. By the time bitch hits 30 she may end up doing Kanye West’s mother’s dance, I hear it’s like Souja Boy, but more dead.

Yeah, I know Soulja Boy is dying fast, but it’s still alive enough for my joke to make sense, even if my joke wasn’t funny.


Related Posts:

Ashlee Simpson Dates Bi-Sexuals
Some Ashlee Simpson Bikini
More Ashlee Simpson’s Bikini
Ashlee Simspon’s Nipple

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|cleavage|Hot|Unsorted

2007

13

Nov

I am – Lohan is Hanging With Her Lesbian Cock Ronson of the Day

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So it seems like Lohan’s fallen off the wagon or is at least about to fall off the wagon and that gets me excited because she’s going to be more accessible. I don’t actually think she’s ever been on a wagon, but that’s only because her parents turned her into a money making machine when she was a kid and when you’re a money making machine, there’s not time to play and also because I am sure the rehab center she was at were letting her do whatever fucking drugs she wanted because she was a great marketing tool for them.

That said, she’s back with the Lesbian Cock Ronson and where there’s lesbian cock there’s cocaine, especially when that lesbian cock is a bad DJ, because she needs that shit to get the confidence to go on stage and make a fool of herself without realizing it. Powdered Courage baby…you should try it.

Bonus: Steve Aoki – Lohan’s Homey is in some videogame and it made me laugh


Related Posts:

Lohan Lookin’ Wrecked
Lohan is Partying Drunk
Lohan Lookin’ Wrecked
Lohan Doing Cocaine Screen Shots
Lohan is a Drunken Party Slut

Posted in:Lesbian Cock|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson|Unsorted

2007

13

Nov

I am – Sarah Harding Nipple Slip from Yesterday of the Day

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So being the shitty blogger that I am, I posted all these pictures of a useless slut named Sarah Harding from some useless UK Spice Girls rip off called Girls Aloud yesterday and I didn’t post the nipple slip. Consider this a maintenance post for a guy who isn’t too good at fixing things I’ve fucked up because I’d be spending my entire day backtracking because I suck at life, but at least I am making the effort right now by bringing it to you now, because you like nipples in pictures since you can’t get nipples in life. Cuddles.

Posted in:Nipple|Sarah Harding|Unsorted

2007

13

Nov

I am – Maxim Hometown Hotties Winner Erin of the Day

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So Maxim picked their hometown hotties winner and it’s some bitch named Erin. I am not sure if you bother caring, but I reviewed all the hometown hotties contestents and this is what I had to say about Erin….

Point of this is that she’s worth a round, but that’s not saying much to you, because the last time you ate a hamburger you got a boner just thinking about sliding your dick it it’s warm juicy goodness, you being blinded by your dick and sexual depravity makes you ignore that her tits are all wonky and she’s boxier than the trailer her Daytona Ass is from.

I guess that’s why Maxim hasn’t offered me a high paying job in New York that I would use to bag all the models and any decent lookin’ girl I run into promising them the chance at the cover, while knowing I’d never have that pull, but they wouldn’t need to know that until after they shower for me, because showering for me would obviously be the auditioning process.

Check out all of Erin’s Slutty Winning Pictures
GO

Read my hometown hotties reviews
GO

Posted in:Erin McKinnon|Hometown Hotties|Maxim|Unsorted

2007

13

Nov

I am – Nicole Scherzinger’s Trying Too Hard of the Day

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I just got this email:

hello, i love reading your site.. laugh my ass off

im thinking of starting one myself. do you have any advice? where do you find photos?

thanks
youre super funny

Sure dude, why don’t I just start your site for you and have you not pay me a fucking cent, because I’m an asshole and can only hope that my hard work makes your site bigger and better than mine, because let’s face it, I have a pretty shitty fucking website, but at least you think it’s funny, even though it’s not meant to be.

I don’t understand why anyone would want to start a website, people who own websites are losers. The internet was made by losers for losers, like FUBU but different. There was a time when I’d go online just to mess around with socially awkward fuck ups lookin’ for like minded socially awkward fucked up people from other towns, because I guess there’s only so many losers in one zip code. It was a time when online dating was for obese people and virgins and not for the college frat boy to land hot pussy on myspace or facebook, or even for you to go home after getting wasted and being able to stalk the girl you just made out with. It was a better time with more person to person contact, and less talking to screens.

I remember when I first started doing this garbage 3 years ago, no one was really doing it. Perez didn’t exist, TMZ didn’t exist, the ones that did exist were just virgins and fags posting pictures and obsessing over how much they loved celebrities. No one was ripping into them or laughing at them and now new fucking websites pop up everyday and are all a lot more successful that I’ll ever be….within their first week.

Reality is that Internet is still for fucking losers, because hot and cool people are out living life and are too busy being hot and cool to care about sitting in front of a fucking computer all day, unless they are at work, but hot and cool people don’t work and hot and cool people who do work are usually running shit and are too busy loving themselves and their businesses to waste time on the net. So reality is if you are hot and on the net from work, your job is obviously insignificant making you a loser, but send me nudes, I’ll make you feel better about yourself, even though we all know what you are, if you’re reading this. So we don’t need to give the internet back to the losers, the definition of loser has just broadened its scope.

Speaking of try hard losers, here are some pictures of Nicole Scherzinger’s busted face giving the peace sign that is so fucking played out by now that every time I see it, I get flashbacks of high school girls at starbucks posing for their myspace profiles, and let’s face it, Nicole Scherzinger hasn’t been in high school for at least 2 decades and is trying a little too hard to be a high school girl. The only cool thing about high school girls are their school uniforms…and anal sex parties that I heard about on Oprah, that I never seem to be invited to.

Bonus – If You Think Nicole Scherzinger Music is a Bonus –

Preview of Her Baby Love Song Remixed and Featuring Will.I.Am
GO

Related Posts

Nicole Scherzinger’s Got Some Cleavage
Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video is Hot
Nicole Scherzinger’s Nipple in a Video
Nicole Scherzinger Tight Bodied at some Event in Jeans

Posted in:Busted Face|Legs|Nicole Scherzinger|Unsorted