DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

08

Jun

I am – Danielle Lloyd in an Expensive Bikini for Cancer of the Day

I use the Internet too much. I feel like my last love affair was with an emoticon banner on myspace and it was the best sex Ive ever had because all the slut would say is “hellllooooo” over and fucking over again and couldn’t get me hard by still whispered sweet nothings in my ear….So looking at anyone in a bikini is a total fucking relief for me. It could be because I live in Canada and I don’t see nearly enough bikinis in a year and when I see anyone rockin’ one it gets me goin like a virgin with a high trafficked celebrity blog that posts High Res pics to share my amazing find with other fucking virgins…or it could be because this bitch I’ve never heard of before last week is rockin’ diamonds and being a poor person I dig diamonds…it means she’s living the dream even though no one knows who she is…it could be because she’s dressed like that at a charity and I like women who get naked for a cause but I prefer girls who get naked for no cause, because you don’t need a reason to show me your goods…trust me, I have no standards and don’t get offended by much, not even when this downs syndrome faced slut does it….

I am slow on my posts today because I had to be somewhere all morning. Sometimes you can’t control that shit. I am back now but it’s the end of the day – so I am not sure if I should bother to even post, but I will anyway.

2007

08

Jun

I am – Mila Kunis Wears Short Shorts of the Day

1 Comment »

So I ended up going out to the Steve Aoki show because I thought it would be funny. I thought there would be lots of sluts and I figured that if someone you write a post about saying they bang their sister ends up hookin’ you up to go to their event, you gotta take the opportunity to see if they will have a baseball bat in hand to take your face off.

I got to the club, they didn’t want to let me in, they told me that I wasn’t on the list and that I didn’t meet dress code standards. I somehow swindled my way into the club promising the bouncers I wouldn’t leave the DJ Booth area and mingle with their clients….

I walked up to Aoki, some groupie with fake tits was talking to him, shook his hand, knocked her drink out of her hand and she spilled it all over herself and tried to tell me off. He was very nice about things and I ended up having a good time drinking off the club’s bottle of Grey Goose and lookin’ up girls skirts. So the advice of the day is try to offend people enough so they know who you are, then ask them for free shit.

Here are some pictures of Mila Kunis because she was on that 70s Show and Aoki’s DJ partner is on that 70s show and she’s wearing short shorts….

I am running off 2 hours of sleep – I’ll be back on later today with more hits.

Posted in:Ass|Legs|Mila Kunis|Shorts|Unsorted

2007

07

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

45 Comments »

I don’t know what happened again today, I was on the computer all day but couldn’t get any posts up after the letter to Splash. I think it was a good post but I wasn’t planning on letting it ride me through the day. It’s just the way things happen I guess.

I was at a coffee shop today where a group of new mother’s were hanging out. It’s pretty much what they do in the neighborhood. I assume they are either on maternity leave or are stay at home mom’s and don’t feel like staying home because it’s boring so they meet to talk to each other about how amazing they feel now that the little bastard has finally left the womb….

Coincidentally, one of the mom’s was breast feeding, out in the open and I couldn’t help but stare. Shit didn’t give me a boner, and I am not going to go off like a fag about how beautiful a baby and it’s mother is in their natural co-dependent state. I was looking because I wanted to see fucking nipple and take advantage of the opportunity of tits exposed.

One of the mom’s kept staring at me and I realized she used to be a slutty bar maid who served me daily about 3 years ago…I guess it was a whole “where are they now” situation. I didn’t want to make eye contact because I would have been lured into conversation while her friend’s tit was hanging out and I knew I wouldn’t have been able to not stare and woulda made a fool of myself.

I woulda got video, but the screen on my shitty camera broke so no more stepTV until it gets fixed. Here are my links.

I got Steve Aoki to put me on his guestlist for a party thanks to myspace. He’s playing at in Montreal at some Chachi bar that normally wouldn’t let me in. I told him he shoulda brought Lohan to me in my message, I got no response. But I think I made it on the list regardless..I feel so hip until I get there and everyone starts staring at me because I don’t belong….My sweatpants and old age and stink make me someone Chachi’s don’t want around…you know, ruining their party and asking their women to show me their tits. We’ll see what happens or if I actually go….I am all about the adventure.

Click my Links…

Jenny McCarthy’s Nipples on the Beach with Jim Carrey
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Paris May Be Goin Back To Jail
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Britney in a Bikini with her 2 Babies and her Assistant
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Sex with a Carebear
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Katherine McPhee is Crazy in Concert in a Jewish Outfit of the Day
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Gisele Lookin’ Hot on the Runway
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Guess Which Kid Forgot his Ritalin
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Rosalyn Sanchez Nude in Some Movie Called Yellow
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I love Cameron Diaz’s Legs
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Some Hot Lingerie Shoot
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Some Male Cheerleader Does a Drunken Backflip Without Realizing God Hates the Queers
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Sarah Michelle Gellar is High
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This is one of my readers, watch her high budget music video that made me laugh and aroused at the same time….
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This is one of my readers dancing
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Dude in a Wheelchair Went on the Ride of His Lifetime
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Reverend Al Sharpton is Mad that Paris is Being Released Early Because it is Racial and Economic Favoritism…
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Paula Abdul Can’t Keep a Publicist Cuz She’s an Insecure Crazy Person
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Some Naked Chick in the Rain
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I am not sure what these pics are of, but they were sent into me so maybe you know…
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Ashlee Simpson Banged Pete Wentz in the Bathroom
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Some Hot Cam Chick Dancing to a Horrible Fucking Song…
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More Lohan Workin’ Out
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Jessica Simpson Lookin Single and Ugly Enough to Bang
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Bob Barker’s Last Episode of Price is Right’s Goodbye Message
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Crazy Used Car Salesmen Viral For You To Laugh at
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AJ & Aly Michalka at Some Party Showin Leg
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Some Japanese Toilet Pranks
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Some More Japanese Gameshow Action
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Sex on the Beach
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Big Brother Night Vision Makes Clothes See Through
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Fernanda Tavares Sports Illustrated Photoshoot VIdeo
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Rebecca Loos Naked / Topless Big Tittied
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Lebian Bedroom Make Out
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Seriously Huge Ol’ Titties
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Crazy Drunken Bum Gets Mad
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

07

Jun

I am – Bijou Phillips Wears a Fake See-Through Dress and I Hate Paparazzi of the Day

1 Comment »

I hate the paparazzi…they are bottom feeding pieces of shit who take pictures of people they don’t have permission to take pictures of and then release them to the internet or sell them for huge amounts of money and when little old me comes across the pics in a a message board and writes a little blurb about whoever is in the picture and puts them on my site, the motherfuckers have to come after me, threatening to sue me.

I just run a personal blog that makes no money and these assholes run some kind of blackmarket photo business that makes millions and should be stopped, whether that means I have to switch my content to porn, or to pictures of people I take myself or not….

This is what they sent me:

Clare Wigmore wrote:

These photos of Maggie Gyllenhaal as above that you have added to your web site belongs to Splash News and have been reprinted on your web site without payment or permission.

I must ask that you delete them immediately from your archive, web site and any digital storage.

Please confirm by email that you have deleted these images.

Thank you for your prompt assistance in this matter.
Yours sincerely,
Clare Wigmore on behalf of Splash News

SPLASH NEWS
333 W. Washington Boulevard, Suite 508
Marina del Rey – CA 90292 – USA
Tel 001 310 821 2666 – Fax 001 310 821 9696

This was my response because I like to be funny.

Clare,

Thanks for the lovely email. I figure before getting down to business we should take the time to get to know each other. I usually like dealing with people who I’ve seen naked, I feel like it leaves little on the table to get in the way of getting things done. You know I won’t be wondering how your parts “hang” while you’re talking to me….

Ok, Now down to business, attached you will find an invoice for the $25,000 clicks I have sent your site at my exclusive SplashNews rate of $5 per click.

You can either pay me the $125,000 in credits to use your pictures, or you can always send a check to my mailing address.

Thanks Sweetheart.

Oh and PS – I take personal offense to the mis-use of the word Unauthorised, how the fuck to do you expect me to take you seriously when you make typos like a fucking clown.

I also take personal fucking offense to you trying to take me down and you trying to fuck with my content that I work hard at writing. Your threats of legal action piss me the fuck off. I don’t make money off my fucking site and I don’t have money to fight you. But let’s face it the real fucking criminal in this whole situation is the psycho stalker hiding in the fucking bushes snappin’ off pics of this bitch and her baby and not the personal blogger writing about big milk filled titties set to those pictures.

That said, I’ll have the pictures before you can spell unauthorised correctly, which may be a fucking while.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com
————————————————-
Email //
info@drunkenstepfather.com
AIM //
drunkNstepfather
————————————————-
Trendmill Profile //
http://www.trendmill.com/DrunkenStepfather

Myspace Deleted My Profile Because They Suck //

————————————————–
I’ll Make You Famous, Bitch! That’s the Story I Heard. So, Tell Your Friends. Cuddles.

Here are some pics of Bijou Phillips wearing a fake see through dress.

Posted in:Bijou Phillips|See Thru|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

07

Jun

I am – Nicole Richie May be Pregnant of the Day

9 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Nicole Richie on her way to and on Letterman. The story is that she’s knocked up. She’s been to the doctor and it’s confirmed according to real celebrity gossip sites. So that means that Nicole and her fucking loser Good Charlotte boyfriend who I can’t stand because he’s a fucking cunt poser who has little to no talent haven’t admitted or denied the story. I guess her anorexics can’t get pregnant approach to contraception really worked out amazing for her and I hope this thing, if it’s really in there, doesn’t come to term because the last thing we need is for this cunt to be procreating, it’s probably already been “dealt” with, but even if it isn’t “dealt” with we could have a lot of good laughs at watching this bitch balloon on her 90 lbs frame. It’ll be like watching 12 year old dudes pretending they are pregnant in a school play and we’ll all get a laugh out of it.

That said, I was watching a show on college binge drinking at a friends house the other day and they said that binge drinking was considered 4 drinks in a 2 hour period 3 times a week. I thought that was nothing, I drink 4 drinks in half an hour, but I think that still falls into the binge drinking category. I was pretty happy to find out that I am not an alcoholic but a college binge drinker. I feel like telling the young college girls that on the street will lead to some girls gone wild flashing…

Posted in:Knocked Up|Legs|Nicole Richie|Unsorted

2007

07

Jun

I am – Ivanka Trump’s Big Ol’ Titties and Some Paris Hilton News of the Day

36 Comments »

I got drunk last night. I am sure that’s a big surprise to some of you. But I was a weird kinda drunk. I am talking unable to function after 4 drinks. I was talking to some dude and didn’t hear a word he said, then accidentally dropped my beer without realizing it. I think it could have been a stroke or some shit. But needless to say, when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was talk about how Paris HIlton has been released from prison.

I am actually pretty fucking pissed off, I started writing her a letter yesterday that I was going to mail to her today and post here. I figured she’d have no choice but to read it and that would be good for the site and give us all a good fucking laugh. So when I read that bitch was released with an ankle bracelet, I was pretty much thinking to myself that I just missed a golden opportunity. But even more disappointing is that the rich motherfuckers always get special treatment. If Paris was a poor black dude from the projects and she got busted with a DUI, the authorities would have slapped 15 other charges on him and dude woulda been in lock down for 20 years with no chance of parole. But since all you cocksuckers give a fuck about this piece of trash and have given her this level of celebrity bitch doesn’t’ deserve, she has the power to change the fucking legal system to suit her cunt needs. I don’t understand why there is even a system in place when rich people are just going to always be able to do whatever the fuck they want regardless of the consequences we all have to face.

Here was the beginning of the letter that I wrote her but now won’t bother finishing because bitch is back home drinking cocktails and watching TV and doing whatever it is that she does….

Now that you backed into a corner with nothing to do but read letters from fans and I figured I’d take advantage of the opportunity to make sure you know who I am by telling you how much I love you, and by love I mean that I love that you give me constant content for my website.

Now, I’ve been a fan of your work since you hit the scene. If you’re wondering what work I am talking about, so am I. I guess you’ve never really done anything of substance, your claim to fame is a sex tape, and that’s easy to be successful at, you just need to get naked. Other than that you’ve made your money promoting products and getting paid to party, which I guess isn’t really work. You did have that book I never read, but can assume you didn’t write it and then there was simple life, which was pretty much like the sex tape only without the sex, all you had to do was go on a road trip, so maybe saying I am a fan of your work is kinda a lie because you’ve never really done much of anything but a lot of cock. I guess your impact on society’s been a good one though, there are so many young girls who rock party dresses with no panties, are down with nip slips and fucking and getting filmed fucking and I guess that’s not that bad for people like me, but it may be for them as they don’t have a huge trust fund to carry them through the rest of their lives after fucking it up trying to be you…

Here are some pictures of Ivanka Trump at some event, because she’s a little more reserved with her sluttiness. Ivanka Trump went to a good school and got a good education, she didn’t release sex tapes and spend her nights in clubs. She hasn’t really been a piece of useless trash addicted to media attention but still has a fat bank account and would still look good enough to look at naked, which isn’t saying much cuz I like seeing everyone naked, but you know what I mean….

2007

07

Jun

I am – Ivanka Trump's Big Ol' Titties and Some Paris Hilton News of the Day

35 Comments »

I got drunk last night. I am sure that’s a big surprise to some of you. But I was a weird kinda drunk. I am talking unable to function after 4 drinks. I was talking to some dude and didn’t hear a word he said, then accidentally dropped my beer without realizing it. I think it could have been a stroke or some shit. But needless to say, when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was talk about how Paris HIlton has been released from prison.

I am actually pretty fucking pissed off, I started writing her a letter yesterday that I was going to mail to her today and post here. I figured she’d have no choice but to read it and that would be good for the site and give us all a good fucking laugh. So when I read that bitch was released with an ankle bracelet, I was pretty much thinking to myself that I just missed a golden opportunity. But even more disappointing is that the rich motherfuckers always get special treatment. If Paris was a poor black dude from the projects and she got busted with a DUI, the authorities would have slapped 15 other charges on him and dude woulda been in lock down for 20 years with no chance of parole. But since all you cocksuckers give a fuck about this piece of trash and have given her this level of celebrity bitch doesn’t’ deserve, she has the power to change the fucking legal system to suit her cunt needs. I don’t understand why there is even a system in place when rich people are just going to always be able to do whatever the fuck they want regardless of the consequences we all have to face.

Here was the beginning of the letter that I wrote her but now won’t bother finishing because bitch is back home drinking cocktails and watching TV and doing whatever it is that she does….

Now that you backed into a corner with nothing to do but read letters from fans and I figured I’d take advantage of the opportunity to make sure you know who I am by telling you how much I love you, and by love I mean that I love that you give me constant content for my website.

Now, I’ve been a fan of your work since you hit the scene. If you’re wondering what work I am talking about, so am I. I guess you’ve never really done anything of substance, your claim to fame is a sex tape, and that’s easy to be successful at, you just need to get naked. Other than that you’ve made your money promoting products and getting paid to party, which I guess isn’t really work. You did have that book I never read, but can assume you didn’t write it and then there was simple life, which was pretty much like the sex tape only without the sex, all you had to do was go on a road trip, so maybe saying I am a fan of your work is kinda a lie because you’ve never really done much of anything but a lot of cock. I guess your impact on society’s been a good one though, there are so many young girls who rock party dresses with no panties, are down with nip slips and fucking and getting filmed fucking and I guess that’s not that bad for people like me, but it may be for them as they don’t have a huge trust fund to carry them through the rest of their lives after fucking it up trying to be you…

Here are some pictures of Ivanka Trump at some event, because she’s a little more reserved with her sluttiness. Ivanka Trump went to a good school and got a good education, she didn’t release sex tapes and spend her nights in clubs. She hasn’t really been a piece of useless trash addicted to media attention but still has a fat bank account and would still look good enough to look at naked, which isn’t saying much cuz I like seeing everyone naked, but you know what I mean….

2007

06

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

169 Comments »

I went to a bar the other night to drink because that’s what I do. The place was a fucking dump that was in the basement of some hotel or some shit and after getting walking right in, ignoring the line of losers and getting to the bar to order a drink I realized that I was in over my head. The drinks were a fucking rip off and I figured where the drinks are pricey the girls are hot, so even though I couldn’t afford to drink there I decided to buy a round. I was so focused on getting booze that I didn’t realize that everyone in the place was fucking ugly. After finishing my drink and walking around, I realized every girl was fucking fat and busted and dressed in tight clothes. I was fucking floored because I didn’t realize Lookin’ Good Sweethearts congregated in public places, but almost felt lucky to be part of their convention until breathing in through my nose and smelling a burning shitty cloud of fucking stink that actually made me fucking gag. On my way out of the fucking place I saw dudes actually hitting on these beasts and making out with them and hump dancing them and it was like the ugly girls were hot girls and I guess that’s why they went there. It was like a horrible fucking dream….

I hope these links bring the same feeling to your lives…

FHM Study Abroad Featuring Charlotte McKenna who is a UK Hot Slut
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Hysterical Paris Hilton Mugshot by BryanBoy…He Looks Just Like Her I don’t Know Who That is Worse For…
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Jordan Admits What Everyone Already Knew and That’s that she has a Loose Vagina and Is Getting it Rebuilt After the Baby….
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Kim Kardashian Things Her Ass Is A GIft and Shows it off in a Weird Way While Waiting for her Car
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Some Rihanna Ass While Performing
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stepHOTLINE Message Number 2 – It’s a Sad One. I don’t know how to make these steam…
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Courtney Love Lookin’ Like a Haggard Street Whore…Exclusive
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Ana Beatriz Barros Panty Picture Moment
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After Today’s Events – Here’s a Little Milk Fetish Video Action
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Selma Blair is a Man
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Vintage Lohan and Barton Ad
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Jews were Pimps in South America
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Elle Macpherson Amazing See Through Dress Because I Love Her
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Jennifer Hurt is Playboy’s June Cyber Girl
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Hysterical Birthday Strip Surprise Video You’ll Love
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Little Boy Looking Hipster Chicks Washing a Car in Their One Piece Hipster Bathing Suits
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Crazy UnSexy Dancing Chick
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Topless Chick in the Shower
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Some Transformer Stills for you Virgins
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Memories of Paris Hilton Taking a Bath in this Time Where She Spends Her Days in the Communal Shower
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Knocked Up Boobies Matchup
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Gisele Bundchen Has Obviously Never Met You
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Weirdest Lookin Bum Ever..The Fucking Thing Scares Me…
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Liv Tyler and Kate Bowsworth Kissing
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Paris Hilton’s Awkwardly Tall Brother Got Mugged
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Paris Hilton’s Prison Experience So Far – Amazing
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More Alien Porn Clips
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Ten Great Moments in Porn Comedy
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Evil Passed Out Friend Prank
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Even the Bums Can’t Believe This dude’s Slamming Aguilera
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Justin Timberlake Signs a Youtuber…I wonder when he’ll sign me…
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Kelly Osborne is the Only Living Pig in New York
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Some Air Sex For you To Love
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Another Paris Hilton Prison Porn Moment Called “Paris Learns To Give”
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Idiots Lighting Their Heads on Fire
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Girl Cries During a Porn Shoot – Then Gets Pissed On…I Don’t Get This Shit..
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Some London Olympics 2012 Logo Meets Bayside High Action – I don’t get it either…
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Herbert the Pervert From Family Guy Compilation Because He’s The Best Part of the Show….
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Hot Webcam Girl in Action Because That’s What Webcams Are For
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Knocked Up Is A Rip Off of Some Book and Bitch is Suing Cuz Everyone Always Wants a Piece
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37 Years of Joan River’s Face
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Nicole Richie Slut Hiding in Her Car Because She Cares About the People…
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Hipsters in the Bathtub…I didn’t Know Hipsters Washed
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Crazy Truck Driver But Not As Crazy As The Language They’re Speaking or the Music They’re Listening to….
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Some Ellen Rocche Chick Photoshoot Video
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Use this Spray to Get Laid
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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

06

Jun

I am – Kate Hudson Nipples of the Day

No Comments »

I got some slack today for posting the breastfeeding pictures and I figured this was a good opportunity to explain myself. Basically the person who wrote into me told me that my site is a porn site and posting pictures of a bitch feeding her baby is giving perverts something to jerk off to and that is morally fucking wrong because it involves a baby. The person felt that by posting these pictures, I was implying that when women feed their babies in public it is something that should get you off and by posting pictures of it, I am basically giving you fuckers the green light to jerk off to pictures with babies in them.

My response is that I do social and celebrity commentary. If I see a bitch feeding her kid in public, I am going to look. I am not going to get turned on by the fact that her tit is being sucked on by a baby, but I am going to check out what kind of tits she’s packing. I figured that if a girl pulls her tits out in the open she wants me to look. It happens so rarely in my world and if they don’t give a fuck about doing it then I am not going to give a fuck about posting them here.

I also think that if you use this site for masturbation material, you are pretty fucking weird because there’s a whole internet of hardcore porn that will probably get the job done a lot more successfully. My mission is not to get you off. I don’t post shit for the sake of turning you on. I post because I usually have something to say about the pictures, whether what I say is of substance or not, I get inspired or reminded of things I have seen and done.

The internet is filled with freakshows like hornylohanwanker who should probably be locked up even though he’s probably a school teacher or banker or some shit, but we’ll never know because he’s anonymous and that’s what the Internet is fueled by. If someone gets off to people eating, people walking, people dancing, dogs fucking, car racing, motorcycles or household appliances, they can either get of to that shit by doing a google image search on their computer behind closed doors or by going out into society and doing it there. I’d rather keep them locked up to their computer. If someone gets off to girls at the beach or girls at the waterpark or girls at the public pool, should we shut those down because of the few weirdos?

So what I am saying is that I don’t write for perverts, I don’t run a porn site, but it’s all up for interpretation and if that’s what this is to you, I can’t change that shit, just keep visiting cuz I need all the traffic I can get. I will just continue doing what I do and if that involves a slag showing the world her tits wither her baby suckin them for whatever reason and I get inspired enough to post it, I am going to post it because I am not going to censor myself or let you ruin all my fucking fun by dictating what I can or can’t do because of the freaks that are landing here.

That said, here are some pictures of Kate Hudson’s nipples and her baby who is dressed cooler than you.

Posted in:Kate Hudson|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

06

Jun

I am – Sienna Miller and Keira Knightley on the Set of their New Movie of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Sienna Miller and Keira Knightley proving that acting is such a fucking hard job and that these cocksuckers deserve to get paid millions of dollars a year for it, because frolicking in the ocean like a bunch of Autistic kids do in puddles every fucking rainy day means getting fucking paid for them, when it just makes me look like a weirdo when I do it.

If you’re in a position to change your career, I think that you should consider acting. It’s like everyday is what you would do on a vacation if you could afford to go on vacation and you get paid heavy for the shit. If you’re in action movies you get paid to pretty much experience all the most exciting things life has to offer, whether it be car chases or running from explosion or whatever. If you’re in a romantic comedy, you usually get to see a celebrity slut naked, if you’re in some drama you usually get to chain smoke and chain smoking is amazing, especially when you get paid lots of money for it and on your downtime you can spend your money, party and get addicted to cocaine and not have to worry about paying rent.

I think it’s safe to say that actors don’t need talent. I think it’s also safe to say that Sienna Miller showing off her throwback pantyhose that you’re already jerking off to and that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Posted in:Keira Knightley|On Set|Pantyhose|Sienna Miller|Unsorted