DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

22

Jan

I am – Jessica Biel’s Ass of the Day

jessica Biel's Ass

This is Jessica Biel’s Ass. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass in a Bikini. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass in a Bikini on a Boat. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass on all fours. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass ready to get fucked but that damn bikini is in the way. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass that you want to fuck. Hey isn’t that Jessica Biel’s Ass….

That was my attempt at Search Engine Optimization…someone told me the more I wrote a key word like Jessica Biel’s Ass , the better I’ll come up in google. I figure that you don’t care about the success of this site and either do I, that’s why I just did a Jessica Biel’s Ass post the way I just did.

I guess the point of all this is to say that you motherfuckers don’t care about what I have to say. You don’t care to hear me say that bitch is built like a wrestler who just decided that he was really supposed to be born a chick, so he went to the doctor and passed his psych tests and next thing you know he’s driving across America with his drug addicted son. I’ve seen TransAmerica ten times prepping for this post. My theory is only based on her thick ankles and adam’s apple. I could be wrong. It happens. She is over-rated but I’d still bang her, but I have no standards. Do you like it?

I was at the strip club the other night and the bitch kept asking me if I liked it. Of course I fucking like it. You’re 20, half dominican/italian, speak for languages and you’re grabbing your pussy…do you like it? Your name for the day was leta and you were the most intense dance I’ve ever seen…do you like it? It was your first night and you were talking about how much it turned you on….do you like it? enough of this and here are the Jessica Biel Ass Pics

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2007

22

Jan

I am – Jessica Biel's Ass of the Day

4 Comments »

jessica Biel's Ass

This is Jessica Biel’s Ass. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass in a Bikini. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass in a Bikini on a Boat. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass on all fours. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass ready to get fucked but that damn bikini is in the way. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass that you want to fuck. Hey isn’t that Jessica Biel’s Ass….

That was my attempt at Search Engine Optimization…someone told me the more I wrote a key word like Jessica Biel’s Ass , the better I’ll come up in google. I figure that you don’t care about the success of this site and either do I, that’s why I just did a Jessica Biel’s Ass post the way I just did.

I guess the point of all this is to say that you motherfuckers don’t care about what I have to say. You don’t care to hear me say that bitch is built like a wrestler who just decided that he was really supposed to be born a chick, so he went to the doctor and passed his psych tests and next thing you know he’s driving across America with his drug addicted son. I’ve seen TransAmerica ten times prepping for this post. My theory is only based on her thick ankles and adam’s apple. I could be wrong. It happens. She is over-rated but I’d still bang her, but I have no standards. Do you like it?

I was at the strip club the other night and the bitch kept asking me if I liked it. Of course I fucking like it. You’re 20, half dominican/italian, speak for languages and you’re grabbing your pussy…do you like it? Your name for the day was leta and you were the most intense dance I’ve ever seen…do you like it? It was your first night and you were talking about how much it turned you on….do you like it? enough of this and here are the Jessica Biel Ass Pics

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2007

22

Jan

I am – Cory Kennedy Rubbing Lotion on her Legs of the Day

9 Comments »

This is some hipster cunt who goes to all the celebrity events because her parent’s are too busy neglecting her and driving expensive cars in their beverly hills home to realize that their 16 year old dropped out of high school to be fabulous. Here she is rubbing lotion on her legs. The only reason I am posting this is cuz you love underage girls in American Apparel, even when they look like they got hit by a bus. Perverts.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

Jan

I am – Random Myspace Girl’s Sexy Pics of the Day

16 Comments »

Today is pretty smutty and that’s ok. I figure since the site is banned everywhere there’s nothing wrong with posting a little box action, and by box action I mean vagina. These pictures were sent to me and the girl is supposed to be some myspace slag, the kind with a lot of friends and a lot of half naked pics wishing to be the next Tila Tequila. It’s nice to have dreams…..

Speaking of Dreams, I was at the strip club the other night and I saw a bitch with down’s syndrome on the stage dancing around like a retard, which was pretty appropriate…considering she had down’s syndrome. Anyway she was in a thong had her jaw was wired half shut and was rocking stripper shoes, the funny thing about the whole situation wasn’t the dumb look on her face but the fact that she had one leg longer than the other and one of her boots had a heel and the other didn’t a lot like the uneven legged homeless dude I posted about a long time ago here….….the beauty of her stripping was that she was always available and probably wasn’t very good at counting…giving you a little more bang for your buck…all while making a dream come true like you were make a wish foundation and the lap dance booth was DisneyWorld.

Either way, this myspace girl may not have a retardation, but I do hope one of you have her profile so that I can do a stepINTERVIEW with her. Cuddles…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

Jan

I am – Random Myspace Girl's Sexy Pics of the Day

No Comments »

Today is pretty smutty and that’s ok. I figure since the site is banned everywhere there’s nothing wrong with posting a little box action, and by box action I mean vagina. These pictures were sent to me and the girl is supposed to be some myspace slag, the kind with a lot of friends and a lot of half naked pics wishing to be the next Tila Tequila. It’s nice to have dreams…..

Speaking of Dreams, I was at the strip club the other night and I saw a bitch with down’s syndrome on the stage dancing around like a retard, which was pretty appropriate…considering she had down’s syndrome. Anyway she was in a thong had her jaw was wired half shut and was rocking stripper shoes, the funny thing about the whole situation wasn’t the dumb look on her face but the fact that she had one leg longer than the other and one of her boots had a heel and the other didn’t a lot like the uneven legged homeless dude I posted about a long time ago here….….the beauty of her stripping was that she was always available and probably wasn’t very good at counting…giving you a little more bang for your buck…all while making a dream come true like you were make a wish foundation and the lap dance booth was DisneyWorld.

Either way, this myspace girl may not have a retardation, but I do hope one of you have her profile so that I can do a stepINTERVIEW with her. Cuddles…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

Jan

I am – Mena Suvari Topless Beach of the Day

1 Comment »

Here’s a little Mena Suvari topless beach action, if showing off your nipple constitutes being a topless beach. I mean in all reality I fills a bra better than she does. I am convinced that if I went to the local public pool they would ask me to keep my shirt on as to not scare the kids, but I will never know because going to the public pool is something I will never do.

Anyway, I am a fan of small tits, my friend was telling me that he finds small tits sexier because it’s hard to find a set of big tits that fall properly. Most girls with big tits have fat tits and fat tits come with a fat tits and fat tits have nipples that aim to the ground, where small tits usually come with a tight upper body, a hot little ass and nice perky nips that aim to the sky…unless you get those freaky fat girls with no tits that make no sense to me or to science because for some reason they can pack on their burger king weight every square inch of their 300 LBS body, but she can’t break past her A cup.

All this to say that Mena Suvari, topless or not, dates half black dudes and still kinda looks like the alien she played in American Pie. I can’t fucking handle her lesbian gym teacher shorts, not because I am a fag and care about what a bitch is wearing, but because those are the kinda shorts you find on Mountaineering bitches in canoes who don’t shave their cunts. I’d still bang her, but I have no standards and I’d be doing it in attempts to get to some red carpet events or the Teen Choice Awards, because she may not have a career or a name but she’s got more hook-ups than me and the Teen Choice Awards is kind of a dream… It’s Sunday and I really delivered the goods this weekend, I should be famous by now and you should thank me, but you won’t so fuck you.

Posted in:Mena Suvari|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

Jan

I am – Tricia Helfer in Playboy of the Day

7 Comments »

I have no idea who this bitch is, but shes in some kind of show that you virgins have probably seen and have posters of in your room. It’s not your fault you like space, a depressing life on Earth is always better when fantasies of Alien chicks who would actually let you stick your dick in their 4 alien cunts is a nice escape from the fat chick who lives next door rejecting you when you asked to take her out for ice cream….and we all know that all fat chicks LOVE ice cream… I don’t really have more more to say about this, other that I’ve got her Playboy pics, so click the fucking link before Playboy’s asshole lawyers contact blogger and get the shit shut down, because that’s what they do.

Check out the rest out by CLICKING THIS LINK…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

Jan

I am – Ice T’s Wife Coco Strips in Video of the Day

11 Comments »

The thing I like about young strippers is that you know what to expect out of their future. I saw a stripper who must have been 18 or 19, she had braces, fake hair, fake lips and most importantly a bad set of fake tits that were so fresh the scars were still pink. She has accepted her future and will probably end up doing gutter porn in some sketchy perverts basement for the internet and I hope that I am that sketchy pervert. Not because I love broken girls with fake hair, tits and lips who want to be porn stars, but because I have always wanted a basement.

Here’s a whole bunch of videos of COCO, that’s Ice T’s porn star girlfriend looking like the whore that she can’t deny she is….LOVE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

Jan

I am – Ice T's Wife Coco Strips in Video of the Day

11 Comments »

The thing I like about young strippers is that you know what to expect out of their future. I saw a stripper who must have been 18 or 19, she had braces, fake hair, fake lips and most importantly a bad set of fake tits that were so fresh the scars were still pink. She has accepted her future and will probably end up doing gutter porn in some sketchy perverts basement for the internet and I hope that I am that sketchy pervert. Not because I love broken girls with fake hair, tits and lips who want to be porn stars, but because I have always wanted a basement.

Here’s a whole bunch of videos of COCO, that’s Ice T’s porn star girlfriend looking like the whore that she can’t deny she is….LOVE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

20

Jan

I am – One of My Reader’s 19 Year Old Girlfriend When She Was 19 Nude of the Day

3 Comments »

One of my readers posted a link to his girlfriend in the comments, I downloaded them and this is me posting them for you.

I don’t buy this story for a second, not because she’s hot, let’s face it, she’s pretty much a candidate for a looking good sweetheart link… I don’t buy it cuz I know that you don’t actually get laid and finding pics of topless kitchen trash on the internet isn’t really that fucking hard. This is the kind of girl that you are embarrassed of getting a blowjob from when you pick her up at a shitty bar drunk at 4 am and a blowjob is all that’s on your mind, at least she’s got some weird obsession with the confederate flag. Fuck off.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted