We always knew that Brittany Murphy was a whore, but not one of those whores with that Mascot Fetish I once read about. That’s pretty much one of the weirdest fetishes around. I know that she’s at a movie premiere, but the thought of her only being able to get off to men dressed up like stuffed animals seems so much more interesting that her doing an obnoxious pose for the camera. Speaking of movies, I went to see Bobby, that shit that almost made that Spic Emilo suicidal, so my expectations were unrealistic. It was American smut at it’s best and made Bobby look like he was Jesus (not my kind of Jesus), but I had a good time. My doctor brought me to the movie and it was a 2 for $7 night, so don’t be getting any ideas that I’m living large here, unless by large you mean unable to fit in my pants or on the seats on the bus designed for one….This is where I’d bring it back to Brittany Murphy, but all I can think of is cropping her stretch mark titties because I’m not that creative. If I was smart I’d google news the bitch and quote the first story that comes up, like a real celeb blogger…maybe that’s what I’ll do….here I go….

Starring alongside ROBIN WILLIAMS in HAPPY FEET stirred up old emotions for BRITTANY MURPHY – he was her first teenage crush. The 8 MILE star confesses she lusted after the funnyman when she was 14 and he was 40. Murphy, 29, says, “I had a crush on Robin Williams when I was younger. I was fourteen and I was asked to nominate my Valentine crush when I was at school. “And it was between JOHNNY CARSON and Robin Williams – so I went for Williams because Carson was way too old for me. “Robin doesn’t actually know. I don’t know if I will tell him. I think he is so funny. And that’s a huge attraction for a girl.”

Oh Brittany…You Whore…..

Admit that me pretending to be a relevant celebrity news source was funny. CUDDLES.

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These pictures are shitty quality, which is pretty appropriate considering this site is pretty shitty quality. I am having some major fucing regrets about the t-shirts I was getting made, I figured I’d unload all of them at $14.99 in about 10 minutes, but I got no fucking response, so I can only assume that it’s not the right design and I’ve gone back to the drawing table to find the next big hit of a shirt, because if I don’t unload 100 of those…I’m fucked and will have to shut down the site. It’s pretty much that simple.

Speaking of simple, here are some pics of Britney Spears with her new dyke love Paris…again. It’s a pretty fucking simple way to get publicity…I guess if these these bitches don’t have sex tape competitions to the death. ‘d get annoyed of anyone I spent every day for the last two weeks with, so annoyed that I’d forget to cover my fat, just had a baby ass. Just like Britney, here are the shitty quality pictures.

Now the real deal….

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I’ve only got a few of these made on this run and this is probably the last time I produce shirts with this logo, so it’s limited fucking edition. It seems that you are too pussy to buy it because you are too scared to wear it in public.

So if you like the site and want to help me pay off some debt I’ve accumulated in entertaining you daily and if you want to rock the coolest fucking shirt I’ve ever made…I suggest buying it.

It’s $14.99 plus shipping and that makes for a cheap fucking t-shirt.

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Her name is Myleene Klass, she’s on a show called “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” on some TV channel called ITV. I haven’t got a whole lot of travel experience under my belt, not because there’s no more room under my belt because I am filled with cake but because I am broke and have always been.

I do know that these caps of her are from the show and she’s in a bikini. I tend to post a lot of bikini pics on this garbage site. Perverts everywhere seem down with bikinis, and the more perverts I have stopping by the more I have to pay in bandwidth driving me further in debt, preventing me from future travels, so theoretically it’s all your fault that I am in this mess, but that’s not the point.

The point is that the lovely people at Vice, who have never answered an email of mine and who refused to publish my “how to have free sex with a hooker” article, invited me to attend their VICE GUIDE TO TRAVEL DVD premiere. Vice is pretty much the American Apparel of Magazines and they work pretty tightly together reaching that 14 year old market. This DVD was financed by MTV, so despite coming across as underground, it’s pretty much the same shit as Laguna Beach only in this episode they go to the slums of Brazil, the Chernobyl Radioactive-Zone, Afghanistan illegal arms trade caves, the Congo looking for dinosaurs and it was actually pretty fucking entertaining. So BUY A COPY and email them telling them that I referred you and that they should some of that MTV money my way because my ideas are better than theirs…

Either way, Here’s Myleene Klass….

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Her name is Myleene Klass, she’s on a show called “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” on some TV channel called ITV. I haven’t got a whole lot of travel experience under my belt, not because there’s no more room under my belt because I am filled with cake but because I am broke and have always been.

I do know that these caps of her are from the show and she’s in a bikini. I tend to post a lot of bikini pics on this garbage site. Perverts everywhere seem down with bikinis, and the more perverts I have stopping by the more I have to pay in bandwidth driving me further in debt, preventing me from future travels, so theoretically it’s all your fault that I am in this mess, but that’s not the point.

The point is that the lovely people at Vice, who have never answered an email of mine and who refused to publish my “how to have free sex with a hooker” article, invited me to attend their VICE GUIDE TO TRAVEL DVD premiere. Vice is pretty much the American Apparel of Magazines and they work pretty tightly together reaching that 14 year old market. This DVD was financed by MTV, so despite coming across as underground, it’s pretty much the same shit as Laguna Beach only in this episode they go to the slums of Brazil, the Chernobyl Radioactive-Zone, Afghanistan illegal arms trade caves, the Congo looking for dinosaurs and it was actually pretty fucking entertaining. So BUY A COPY and email them telling them that I referred you and that they should some of that MTV money my way because my ideas are better than theirs…

Either way, Here’s Myleene Klass….

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I was out of commission the last couple of days because i was dragged out for a drink on Thursday night to celebrate my 2 year. That ended with us drinking homemade absinthe in a closed bar at 4 am. I don’t know if you’ve ever drank homemade absinthe, or any alcohol for that matter, but that shit kicks you on your ass in about 30 fucking seconds. I couldn’t wake up on Friday and I couldn’t bring myself to post anything. I am a bit of a failure like that. Later that day, I ended up going to some movie called Destricted that was some porno art film shit that had a segment by one of my favorite directors, Larry Clark. He did Kids and Ken Park and this short movie was about the porn process, from finding male actors on craigslist, interviewing them and choosing this one emo kid. Then emo kid went through the process of choosing a pornstar to fuck, so he interviewed all these weird porno girls who had been date raped, or 40 and on crack or money hungry and mexican and he ended pickin’ the 40 year old….and did her in the bum til she pooped all over him…and the floor…and made the movie amazing….speaking of amazing here’s a close to pussy shot of Britney Spears, you can’t see the junk but you can’t see gunt and sometimes a fat bellied pig with a bald lookin’ gunt is better than seeing the mangled mess her her kids graced her with. That may sound gross but it’s just an ignorant comment on the result of having babies…don’t be so sensitive, it’s not like you’re Britney Spears….and if you are…I loved you in Crossroads.

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Firstly, I would like to say that my apologies go out to the GodsGirl who inspired my GodsGirl post. I hate when people take what I say personally, I was just doing commentary on the whole alternative model cuz you aren’t pretty enough to be a real model phenomenon. I don’t like that she felt singled out. I am a nice guy and would take her on a date if I wasn’t married.

I would like you to congratulate me for keeping this site up for 2 years…My first post was writen on November 23rd, 2004. I guess in a lot of ways this has been an accomplishment, just not one I can tell future employers about. I’ve stayed commited to something that has made me no money, that hasn’t made me famous as I still only have 10 readers, that opened one door with one movie producer who told me my ideas sucked. It’s driven me into depression and back out of it, it’s been a major undertaking and obsession and despite what my posts look like, a lot of heart goes into it. Sometimes it all feels like it’s all been for nothing but it’s also made me laugh a lot, I haven’t been arrested, killed or sued….so overall it’s been a good thing. Thanks goes out to my daily 10, you know who you are. I’d say something like here’s to another 2 years, but reality is, if I am still doing this in 6 months, I’ll be pretty pissed off. Admit this paragraph was very honest and classy of me.

Lastly, I would like to say that my stepLINKS are shit today because it’s thanksgiving and nothing exciting is happening on the internet. I guess you American’s run this thing and everything goes to shit when you are sitting at home eating turkey and watching football. Assholes.

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I am a fan of breasts of all variety, that means that I am not dissing Alyssa Milano for having stretch marked titties, I am just pointing out that she has stretch marked titties. It’s very easy to be a scared virgin celebrity blogger with a knowledge of HTML and a fear of the outside world to post pics of celebs and point out their flaws, but I am realistic and I look at my wife’s disgusting stomach, tits and ass daily and I’d still stuff her like a turkey if I had the needed erections. It’s a whole beggars can’t be choosers, I have no standards or taste kind of thing. I couldn’t even imagine a girl as successful as Alyssa Milano even signing an autograph for me, so I can sit her and shit on her, which I do in most of my sexual fantasies, or I can be realistic and accept that she’s way out of my league, even though she’s a stretch mark tittied, hairy troll of a woman…

Speaking of tits, I left Starbucks and when I got up to put on my jacket, the woman in then chair behind me was breastfeeding her kid. I didn’t realize what she was doing so I stared at her for 45 seconds before figuring out what was going on. I am sure part of her thought I was a pervert while the other part of her loved the fact that I was staring at her tit because reality is, she’s an exhibitionist otherwise she’d feed her kid in the bathroom. That’s the story I heard.

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I am a fan of breasts of all variety, that means that I am not dissing Alyssa Milano for having stretch marked titties, I am just pointing out that she has stretch marked titties. It’s very easy to be a scared virgin celebrity blogger with a knowledge of HTML and a fear of the outside world to post pics of celebs and point out their flaws, but I am realistic and I look at my wife’s disgusting stomach, tits and ass daily and I’d still stuff her like a turkey if I had the needed erections. It’s a whole beggars can’t be choosers, I have no standards or taste kind of thing. I couldn’t even imagine a girl as successful as Alyssa Milano even signing an autograph for me, so I can sit her and shit on her, which I do in most of my sexual fantasies, or I can be realistic and accept that she’s way out of my league, even though she’s a stretch mark tittied, hairy troll of a woman…

Speaking of tits, I left Starbucks and when I got up to put on my jacket, the woman in then chair behind me was breastfeeding her kid. I didn’t realize what she was doing so I stared at her for 45 seconds before figuring out what was going on. I am sure part of her thought I was a pervert while the other part of her loved the fact that I was staring at her tit because reality is, she’s an exhibitionist otherwise she’d feed her kid in the bathroom. That’s the story I heard.

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