I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day
Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day
Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day
Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day
Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day
Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day
Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day
Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day
Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day
Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2007

17

Jan

I am – Mischa Barton’s Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

mischa_Barton_bikinitop.jpg

I was thinking of writing the DrunkenStepfather tv show, I’m not talking about putting cameras in my shitty apartment, I am talking about hiring Horatio Sanz to play me and the bitch from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape to play my wife, line up two unknown sluts with hot bodies to play my stepdaugthers and show me hanging with homeless men, getting wasted with young girls at hipster events, dealing with the impotency my fat wife caused in my life because after being with her the thought of pussy makes my penis play turtle…Everytime I think about fucking, that rotten cheese and tuna sandwich comes back to me. Someone told me you never forget a smell and I hope to hell that’s not ture…

Anyway, I realized that no one would tune into my show, provided I actually sold to a network and that I really don’t have a story to tell, my life is just as boring as yours, so the dream of the DrunkenStepfather show being the next Seinfeld may be a little fucking crazy, but the dream of Mischa Barton in a bikini have come true..

Unfortunately for you, she realizes that she’s got a shitty dumpster body and that taking off her shorts would be offensive to all of us. Her hips don’t lie, but if they could they would tell her ass that it’s full and plentiful and that the aren’t disproportionate and awkward as a team….Either way, her dogs will always love her because she feeds them, dogs are loyal like that. I’d like to thank her for her consideration….I learned on the Golden Globes that that’s industry so fuck her and fuck you too. That’s my new line of the night…you like it?

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

17

Jan

I am – Mischa Barton's Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

mischa_Barton_bikinitop.jpg

I was thinking of writing the DrunkenStepfather tv show, I’m not talking about putting cameras in my shitty apartment, I am talking about hiring Horatio Sanz to play me and the bitch from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape to play my wife, line up two unknown sluts with hot bodies to play my stepdaugthers and show me hanging with homeless men, getting wasted with young girls at hipster events, dealing with the impotency my fat wife caused in my life because after being with her the thought of pussy makes my penis play turtle…Everytime I think about fucking, that rotten cheese and tuna sandwich comes back to me. Someone told me you never forget a smell and I hope to hell that’s not ture…

Anyway, I realized that no one would tune into my show, provided I actually sold to a network and that I really don’t have a story to tell, my life is just as boring as yours, so the dream of the DrunkenStepfather show being the next Seinfeld may be a little fucking crazy, but the dream of Mischa Barton in a bikini have come true..

Unfortunately for you, she realizes that she’s got a shitty dumpster body and that taking off her shorts would be offensive to all of us. Her hips don’t lie, but if they could they would tell her ass that it’s full and plentiful and that the aren’t disproportionate and awkward as a team….Either way, her dogs will always love her because she feeds them, dogs are loyal like that. I’d like to thank her for her consideration….I learned on the Golden Globes that that’s industry so fuck her and fuck you too. That’s my new line of the night…you like it?

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

17

Jan

I am – Paris Hilton Listens to Bob Sinclair…Obviously…of the Day

1 Comment »

paris_hilton_sinclairtop.jpg

There are few things I hate more than this tranny-lookin slut if you don’t know who I am talking about your an idiot, there is one person in these pictures with broad shoulders and huge man feet and that one person is Paris Hilton…I wouldn’t expect you to catch on to that because you’re half retarded and your helmet is blocking your vision…but at least you’re here reading this.

Anyway, one of the things I do hate more than this tranny-lookin slut is Bob Sinclair. This motherfucker makes all the cha-chi anthems for pieces of shit like you to dance to and think is hot. I am talking gelling your hair and putting on a pair of leather pants and a tank top to flex your muscles to in the pit at your local club with girls in $5 halter-tops and miniskirts with no panties. I am all for bitches with no panties, but I get seriously turned off when they are feeling the love generation…

Point of the story is that Paris proves she’s just a useless mainstream bitch following trends, she’s got nothing more to offer than the two girls you saw dancing on the speaker last week. Fuck her and fuck you too….Cuddles.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

17

Jan

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

steplinks3.jpg

Thanks to Zini, I just watched a baby cow sucking on some dudes cock like it was it’s mother’s udder and I feel pretty fucking ashamed of myself because I couldn’t help but think how much this cow was at sucking dick than my fat wife and I even think it weighs less than her, but that’s not the point, the point is that this cow give a better fucking blowjob than Keeley Hazell and Paris Hilton too, which isn’t saying much but I just thought I’d throw it out there. I won’t post the cow video because that’s not the kind of site this is, but you’ll just have to imagine it, which you probably do on already, cuz fucking farm animals is the only thing you can get, they never say no.


Some AVN Action in Picture….
GO

Here are some pictures of people seeing the new year in with a swim…lot of hot asses
GO

Some Dangerous Vaccuum Action
GO

A little Horse Whispering…
GO

The Smoking Crab
GO

Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts…
GO

Lola Cake is Some Internet Fetish Girl I Have Never Heard Of…
GO

Some Britney Spears Bikini Pics That I Think Are Old
GO

I love he way girls pump gas…actually…I just love girls…
GO

Did I post the Playboy Air Force Sergeant Pics?
GO

Fat Ass Shaking Video
GO

Classic Jenny Macarthy Dancing Around the Kitchen Naked…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

I don’t understand the cumshot at the end of this video…I consider this safe for work…
GO

Paris Hilton Looking At Herself in the Mirror because she can’t believe how disgusting she is too..
GO

Halle Berry Rockin’ Her Tit
GO

Ivanka Trumps Breast Implants
GO

This Gallery is Called Chicks and Stuff…So Check Out Chicks and Stuff
GO

A Hipster’s Take on the AVN Awards…Classy
GO

Ann Angel In The Rain
GO

Bottle of Vodka in 20 Seconds
GO

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at the Golden Globes
GO

Beyonce in GQ
GO

Celebrity Cellulite
GO

Giorgia Palmas
GO

Slippery Road in Oregon
GO

Girls Making Out Part 7
GO

This is the type of person i fucking hate…because they are fucking lame…
GO

Award Show Face or Orgasm
GO

Al Bundy Likes His Women Skinny and Silent, Who Gives a Fuck
GO

Top 56 Music Videos of 2006 According to Some Cunt
GO

Carmen Electra’s Stripper Aerobics…Amazing
GO

How Asian Chick
GO

Underwear that is Fun To Wear
GO

This is Doll Sex
GO

I know this will get you laid…
GO

What the fuck is this song?
GO

DJ AM is a Faggot and Hugs his GFs like a Bitch
GO

Bikini Babe Compilation if Ugly Chicks are Babes to You…
GO

Pictures of Bisexuals…
GO

Chick Fight Club
GO

Sex Doll Demo of the Day
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

16

Jan

I am – Victoria Beckham’s Nipples of the Day

12 Comments »

victoria_beckham_nipsTOP.jpg

I am not interested in posting any of the Golden Globe bullshit. I don’t really care about it. SInce I have one channel, I did watch it, but I didn’t like watching it. I ended up making myself a couple of drinks with a shitty bottle of JD that my friend left behind over the weekend because he was too drunk to remember he came with booze, and I tried to get drunk. It didn’t work. I thought about live blogging the shit, but there was really nothing to write about, other than the fact that celebrity reminds me of highschool and in that highschool everyone has too much money for their own good and no sense of what’s really cool. The Borat Acceptance Speech, was a nice change of pace, but motherfucker could have done better. I hate fart jokes but celebrities seem to fucking love them….maybe there is hope. That’s the extent of my live blogging…

Speaking of hope, here are some pics of Victoria Beckham. She is moving to LA so that means you will see a fuck of a lot more of her nipples. These are probably older than the Reese Witherspoon Bikini pics I posted yesterday, but who gives a fuck, it’s all about boycotting the Golden Globe propaganda they brain washed me with yesterday….


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

16

Jan

I am – Victoria Beckham's Nipples of the Day

No Comments »

victoria_beckham_nipsTOP.jpg

I am not interested in posting any of the Golden Globe bullshit. I don’t really care about it. SInce I have one channel, I did watch it, but I didn’t like watching it. I ended up making myself a couple of drinks with a shitty bottle of JD that my friend left behind over the weekend because he was too drunk to remember he came with booze, and I tried to get drunk. It didn’t work. I thought about live blogging the shit, but there was really nothing to write about, other than the fact that celebrity reminds me of highschool and in that highschool everyone has too much money for their own good and no sense of what’s really cool. The Borat Acceptance Speech, was a nice change of pace, but motherfucker could have done better. I hate fart jokes but celebrities seem to fucking love them….maybe there is hope. That’s the extent of my live blogging…

Speaking of hope, here are some pics of Victoria Beckham. She is moving to LA so that means you will see a fuck of a lot more of her nipples. These are probably older than the Reese Witherspoon Bikini pics I posted yesterday, but who gives a fuck, it’s all about boycotting the Golden Globe propaganda they brain washed me with yesterday….


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

15

Jan

I am – You Can Date a Stripper of the Day

1 Comment »

date_a_stripper2.jpg

I met a stripper at a strip club, I never got a lap dance from her because I couldn’t afford one, that’s because you fuckers don’t buy my t-shirts. Anyway, I got to talking with her when she was trying to lure me into the back room to steal the little money I do have and I asked if she had a boyfriend. She started complaining to me that she can’t meet a good guy because she works too much and that the guys she meets at work are just dirtbags who want to grab her tits and ass for money….

So I decided to start up my own kind of reality tv show without the TV to help her find love. We traded email addresses and I’m ready to launch this. I haven’t figured out the rules of the contest, but I’ll just have to start it here.

I have seen this girls stage show and it’s pretty fucking life-changing, mainly because she takes off her underwear on the first song, and no girl ever shows box on the first song, but it turns out that her mother was a stripper so maybe it’s just genetic. I’ll try to get you video in the next installment of “You Can Date A Stripper”….

If you want to date this stripper, send your pics, videos, bios and we’ll choose a winner eventually to THIS EMAIL

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

15

Jan

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

6 Comments »

slutwhores.jpg

The nice people at Pherlure sent me a couple of bottles and I decided that since I can’t get my dick hard, I’ll let you fuckers have a chance to try it out for free, but since nothing in life is free you’re going to have to earn it and the best way for me to get you to earn it is to have a contest.
The problem with having a contest for something you probably don’t really want is that you won’t put any effort into it. I was going to say that the best comment wins, but I never read comments, then I was going to say send in tit pics with DrunkenStepfather.com on it, but since those have yet to come in after 2 years, I figure I have a better chance with draw your vagina and describe it in 10 words or less, so I decided that the best photo submission wins. So email me your pictures to info@drunkenstepfather.com and they have to be your pictures, not shit you found of the net. I will know the difference.

Here are today’s StepLINKS….

Party You Weren’t Invited to
GO

Some Guy Sends In a Pic of His Gf in a G-String..Too Bad The Readers of this site Don’t Have Gfs to send Pics In Of…
GO

Scarlett Johansson Plays Jenna Jameson
GO

The Girls of MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen
GO

Nice Outfit Sweetheart
GO

Underwater Sex Video
GO

Sharking Looks Like a Pretty Funny Hobby
GO

This is probably the weirdest Video I’ve Seen, That Doesn’t Mean It’s Good
GO

LastNightsParty Does a Photoshoot at the AVNs with Vagina
GO

CobraSnake Does AVN
GO

Fleshbot VIdeo at the AVN Award Talking to Some Slag
GO

I watched the Beverly Hillbillies Movies, and Elly May was a Bombshell…I think his is her now…
GO

Jake Gyllenhaal is Wearing a Dress
GO

Some Pastor Talks About Tits
GO

Some Slutty Whore Talking About Sleepin With 15 Men a Day For 8 Years
GO

Maskon is a site for dudes who want to wear women’s masks…which is obviously pretty fucking strange
GO

Here’s a little Softcore Lesbian Action in Video
GO

Changing Room Cam
GO

Katrin Doing Her Morning Exercises Naked
GO

Elisha Cuthbert Posing Cuz a Guy I Know Claims He Fucked Her Up the Ass
GO

One Track Love Down a Two Way Lane….Video
GO

Human Slingshots are Just for Cartoons….Video
GO

Steven Tyler in a Bikini
GO

Kelly Clarkson’s Got No Make-Up
GO

Gemma Atkinson Posing with her Nipples
GO

Lesbian Thong Rub Down
GO

What’s Goin on This Video, It’s So Dark AlI I See Is Teeth…
GO

Hot Bitch Doing Yoga
GO

To My 15 Year Old Readers…The Hills Are Alive
GO

Chanel Ryan in FHM Australia
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Buy Some T-Shirts….Since You Hate Mine So Much?
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

15

Jan

I am – Reese Witherspoon Bikini Pics of the Day

902 Comments »

reesewitherspoonTOP.jpg

I got another email from a reader telling me that my site is blocked at her joba nd at her school. I think it’s got something to do with the fact that I post celebrity cunt shots on my site.

I don’t really understand why people are so scared of a little pussy. It’s not like they don’t fantasizing about getting up inside a pussy every once in a while, and if they are virgins, fags or asexuals, it’s not like their mother’s didn’t spread their pussies and let some man drip nut inside her, knocking her up and making you….yeah dude, your mom did a fucking creampie and people respect her knowing that she’s a slut, I am sure the bank even gives her credit cards and a mortgage and when she goes to work and tells people she’s got kids, they don’t blacklist her from the office luncheons….

Either way, it doesn’t really matter, if you like the site enough, you’ll check it out at home and despite wanting all the lonely fat chicks who site at their computers at their shitty 9-5’s reading this to boost traffic, I don’t think they’d get my jokes or send in nude pics…

Let’s expect it to all work out in the end, but not the kind of workout I need, because living with a fat wife, kinda rubs off on your eating habits, I think I am 40 lbs bigger than when this all started 4 years ago. Thanks fat wife.

Speaking of sluts who let dudes bust inside them here are some Reese WItherspoon bikini candids with the kids that came out of her box, that I won’t post because people seem to think vaginas are bad….She’s fat and these could be old, being the freshest content is not really what I am good at…in all honesty, I haven’t figured out what I am good at. I am thinking sitting is the top of the list right now…

I will keep on posting, you’ll keep on reading. Cuddles.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

15

Jan

I am – Keeley Hazell has a Sex Tape of the Day

71 Comments »

Keeley_Hazell_Sextape_Top.jpg

Here’s the Keeley Hazell Full Sex Tape, if you don’t know who Keeley Hazell is, don’t worry, either do I, but I do know that she has huge tits and I’ve seen her in various photoshoots cuz she’s big breasted in the UK and is in every magazine ever, which isn’t saying much cuz I’ve never seen many hot British chicks, so it’s kinda like being outrunning an amputee.

I kinda wish a professional was behind the camera in this one, because I watch a lot of amateur porn and some of the shit I’ve seen with fat 45 year old moms is better than this, like today I was watching a dude fuck his fat gf when she was half asleep and I got a lot more excited that this shit….

I was always told by people that pretty girls were shit in bed because they were pretty and didn’t need to impress. I was always told that nasty fat chicks were amazing in bed because they felt like they had something to prove. I used to have a friend growing up who’s mother would lecture me on how I should never sleep with whores or pay for sex because the world is filled with sluts if you talk to them the right way. She used to tell me that she was a slut and that’s how she got knocked up with my friend. She’d go on to tell me about how good fat chicks are at sucking dick cuz they are good eaters and how they take it up the ass cuz they are used to taking huge shits and no dick is too big after you’ve spent 2 nights in a row at an all you can eat buffet.

I sometimes think that she was trying to get a piece of me and that she was only telling me fat chicks are good in bed because she was about 100 pounds overweight, I probably should have taken her for a round, but at the time I had standards.

I’ve never really found out if that lady was right about fat chicks and hot chicks and paying for sex because anytime I got laid I was always so fucked up I don’t remember what happened or I paid for it.

I do know that this sex tape fucking sucks and that Keeley Hazell is hot. I guess what it all comes down to is that all celebrities seem to suck in bed and none of them use condoms and all of us would be slammin them if our lives had taken a better route.

I didn’t bother posting the clip, but I am linking you to it, so that almost counts as working. I figure my intro is better than any other intro you’ll read ever. Enjoy.

PS – Girls Don’t Let Your Boyfriends Tape You Fuck, Unless You Want the World To See…..Which you Probably Do, Because We All Want to Be Famous…Especially me. Cuddles.

Watch the Full Sex Tape Here (link is dead, read the comments for updates, ignore the people commenting cuz they are cunts.)


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted