DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2006

24

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

Photo Credit x17 (obviously)

My doctor told me that I am a wounded bird and that wounded birds do not attract a good women. He told me that good women go for guys without baggage and who seem in control of their lives. The women who go for the wounded birds usually have “daddy issues” and are trying to be maternal and controlling so going after a weak person makes them happy. I don’t know why he thinks I am a wounded bird or why he’s giving me relationship advice. I went to see him for a Hepatitis shot. I am married, I found my dream woman, and by dream I mean nightmare, but that’s technically a dream, just a scary one and more importantly, I am not a wounded bird, I am only weak when it comes to walking up stairs and any physical activity and I don’t attract any women period. Point of all this is to say that my selection of links today are like a wounded bird, but you can’t do better and if you think that you can do better, send them my way, you cocksucker.

NEYO is Some Black Dude Who Sings, This is Him Getting a Censored Blowjob from Some Slut. I Guess There’s No Way of Proving It Since All Black People Look the Same and This Could Really Be Jamal from the KFC Down the Street for all We Know.
GO

Mariah Carey See Through Dress
GO

Heather Locklear is Wearing a See-Through Skirt
GO

DJ AM, Here’s Pics of your Ex-Fiance with her New Cock…That’s Right, He’s Fucking Your Pussy, How Does That Make You Feel?
GO

Bai Ling is a Useless Cunt, Here Are Some Pics of Her
GO

Pictures of Paris Hilton in September’s Blender. I Would So Fuck This Girl Without a Condom. Let’s Face It, She’s Hotter Than ANYONE You’ve Banged and Rich People Cant Get AIDS (Remember Magic Johnson….his Johnson Really isn’t so Magical, since he score the hivvies but his Immune System is…. bet no one’s ever said that before)

Hot or Not: Summer Altice
GO

Her Name is Ali Bastian and She Wears Bikinis and I don’t
GO

There’s Something Special About a Picture of Pregnant Lesbians in Love:
GO

I like what GUEST says to this Slut
GO

In Japan, Britney Spears is Too Rude and a Threat to the Nation’s Young
GO

For Those of You Having Trouble Meeting That Special Lady, Order a Whole Person Frozen a Preserved With Care
GO

Mischa Barton’s Got Some Busted Up Legs…
GO

Playboy Released Some Book on Lingerie, Thanks To The Internet, You Don’t Have to Buy It….
GO

I mentioned a Teenage Pregnancy on Myspace. This is her Profile, She’s 19, It Counts
GO

Here’s a Reformed Gay Man Showing His Techniques on How To Become Straight. He’s Not That Crazy. I’d Totally Invite Him Over For Sunday Night Dinner, I’d Even Let Him Babysit My Kids, That’s Just The Kind of Guy I am
GO

Hipster’s Getting Dirty in Jello
GO

The Tale of Two Vaginas Is Totally Hot In Theory. Bitch Shouldn’t Be Anonymous, I Want to Know How Fat She Is
GO

Kobe Thai is a Pornstar and Here She Is Teaching Us How To Pack – Video
GO

In Proof that Vice is Garbage of the Day, This is their Do and they Think this Corky Retard Bitch is Hot. Good Thing they Dissed the Guy’s Outfit so hard and Called Him a Catatonic Fetus, which I guess is the Opposite of a Dancing Fetus with Great Conversation skills. I can Admit that This Corky Retard Bitch is Pretty Hot for a Corky Retard Bitch and I Think I Banged This Corky Retard Bitch when I was the Orderly at the Corky Retard Home. Corky Retard Bitch is the Word of the Day.
GO

Classy Myspace 14 year old, Pretending to be 16 GO

Same Myspace Girl Showing Her Ass GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

Aug

I am – Rosie Perez’s Mexican Tits of the Day

5 Comments »

Like all good Mexicans, Rosie Perez is getting fat. Speaking of Mexicans, I just found my new favorite site and it proves that kids are fucking retards when it comes to sex and NEED to be taught sex ed in schools, possibly by me. I am not that I am against a nation of Pregnant Infected Teens, but I am against a nation of idiots, not that I am not an idiot. I just know that I can’t get pregnant from giving a handjob…I will admit that it took me a few nights at the truckstop to learn that though. Either way, I can’t really get pregnant from anything, I was just speaking as if I was a girl. It happens sometimes and I blame the impotency. It fucks with my head. So click on these links and remember although it may look like my stepLINKS of the day….But it’s not. I tricked you, Asshole.

This Girl’s Got Green Poo
GO

This Girl’s Gone Fishing In Her Cooch
GO

This Girl’s Scared She Got Pregnant from Dry Sex and She Doesn’t Back Down
GO

This Girl’s Got Discharge
GO

This Dude’s Got the Right Idea Cuz I’ve Always Told Virgin’s That Taking It Up the Ass Doesn’t Count as Sex and It Got Me No Where
GO

This Girl’s Got Pain When she Pees, But She’s only had sex with a Virgin, What Can It Be??
GO

This Dude’s Cumming All Kinds from Dry Sex, I’d Hate To see His In-Vagina Performance
GO

This Girl’s Scared of Being Pregnant Cuz Her BF Fingered Her, Slut
GO

This Dude’s Got A Thing For Young Sluts, Maybe a Little Too Young, No Never Too Young…
GO

Post Script: If you find any funnier links, send them in, I love this shit. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

Aug

I am – Rosie Perez's Mexican Tits of the Day

5 Comments »

Like all good Mexicans, Rosie Perez is getting fat. Speaking of Mexicans, I just found my new favorite site and it proves that kids are fucking retards when it comes to sex and NEED to be taught sex ed in schools, possibly by me. I am not that I am against a nation of Pregnant Infected Teens, but I am against a nation of idiots, not that I am not an idiot. I just know that I can’t get pregnant from giving a handjob…I will admit that it took me a few nights at the truckstop to learn that though. Either way, I can’t really get pregnant from anything, I was just speaking as if I was a girl. It happens sometimes and I blame the impotency. It fucks with my head. So click on these links and remember although it may look like my stepLINKS of the day….But it’s not. I tricked you, Asshole.

This Girl’s Got Green Poo
GO

This Girl’s Gone Fishing In Her Cooch
GO

This Girl’s Scared She Got Pregnant from Dry Sex and She Doesn’t Back Down
GO

This Girl’s Got Discharge
GO

This Dude’s Got the Right Idea Cuz I’ve Always Told Virgin’s That Taking It Up the Ass Doesn’t Count as Sex and It Got Me No Where
GO

This Girl’s Got Pain When she Pees, But She’s only had sex with a Virgin, What Can It Be??
GO

This Dude’s Cumming All Kinds from Dry Sex, I’d Hate To see His In-Vagina Performance
GO

This Girl’s Scared of Being Pregnant Cuz Her BF Fingered Her, Slut
GO

This Dude’s Got A Thing For Young Sluts, Maybe a Little Too Young, No Never Too Young…
GO

Post Script: If you find any funnier links, send them in, I love this shit. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

Aug

I am – Penny Lancaster See Through Shirt of the Day

1 Comment »

Penny Lancaster is Rod Stewarts Baby Momma. She’s just another tall blonde model who the little guy’s got with and impregnated over the course of his lifetime and there’s really nothing wrong with having a specific type of woman, especially when you’re a superstar rockstar supernova. Just because my specific type is anything with a vagina, or anything with a flesh wound that looks like and can double as a vagina doesn’t mean I am right.

Speaking of flesh wounds, here’s an update from Little Princess. For those of you who care. She is the girl all of you seem to hate and I don’t really blame you for hating her. I had no real opinion of her since I didn’t read her useless article, but I do get her emails 4 times a day, and they are starting to make hate her because they go on and on and on about nothing. I am not a fucking psychiatrist and I can’t help you through this fucking issue that is driving you to shove bottles in your bloody unemployed cunt. Anyway, she wants to send in more pics and write another post. I will probably let her because she makes me look better. Posting her shit is like a deuce who only hangs with 300 pounders to make herself look better. I like when you motherfuckers show me appreciation and puttng my shit up against worse shit makes my shit look golden. Point of the story is, I am easily bought with nude pics, even if you’re ugly, fat, scary or retarded. So here’s her email update.

From what i gather from this onslaught of hate mail and verbal historectomy

a. i should not refer to them as readers because they cannot really read
b. i am an ugly cunt who should sterilize and kill herself (which i agree with but not the ugly part, but i agree those are ugly photos of myself but they’re from three years ago and in person im a beautiful flower of a woman, but yea i should sterilize and kill myself)
c. i should learn how to write.
d. im not funny.
e. you should have cancer.
f. i managed to get a bigger reaction than a lot of things, and im really glad it was hateful, i like hate mail more than anything, it means people CARE.
g. i swear too much. (fuck that im not changing it, i like having the vocabulary of a 6 year old plus swears)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

Aug

I am – Kelly Monaco at the Venus Razor Legs Party of the Day

1 Comment »

Gillette Venus Razors get all “thas some next shit” on us in their marketing strategy by throwing some “legs” contest which I can probably means that bitches parade around with their legs that they just finished shaving with their Gillette Venus Razors, which has gots to be “the jam” because in 2007, legs are gonna be “what’s good”, replacing the standard Tits and Ass or Ass and Tits depending on what you consider “chickchismo”. That means that your fat midget amputee of a girlfriend with big floppy tits who only fucks you because no one else will talk to her and who you only fuck because no one else will talk to you, is out of style according to me. Either way, this bitch Kelly Monaco shows up in a skirt that goes down to her fucking ankles, I know she’s showin tit, but this is a Legs Event and at a Legs event, wearing an Ommish Dress is like going to a KKK meeting with an Adidas Tracksuit, a clock around your neck, boombox on your shoulder and Jordan’s on your Feet. At least her friend who I have never heard of, but may be the contest winner has the right idea. Slut’s got her shorts all in place and shit. It’s pretty obvious that next time Gillette pulls this shit off, it should be in collaboration with me and we will throw the Gillette Venus Too Cheap to Get a Brazilian Contest. There’s nothing I love more than a razor burnt cunt. Look at the fucking pictures and stop expecting quality out of me because this is as good as it fucking gets, and trust me it ain’t “SICK” or “Da Bomb”. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

8 Comments »

The site got hit hard today and I don’t really understand why. My tech friend told me that the load on teh servers was like having 20 lanes of traffic merge into one lane or something like that, making the site all AIDS-Like. I also had some dude bug me about putting up a banner to his videos on the left hand nav bar, so it’s a test to see if you guys dig the content or not. IF you don’t, I’ll consider taking it down, but I am pretty lazy, sometimes just getting up to get another drink seems impossible. Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie is back from her world travels, if you don’t know who that is, read the archives. She stopped by yesterday to celebrate the non-cancer and even showed me some nipple, not that I am into that. My fridge of a wife was in the other room snoring, so it wasn’t as hot as you’d think.

Either way, I love my Harry Morton Retard pic, I think I will get it printed on t-shirts as soon as I have enough money. I have to pay my rent, food, internet, server for this site and pay off this fucking stolen lap top before I can do much. I guess what this site doesn’t bring me in dollars, it brings me in happiness, stress, ulcers and sense of failure and uselessness.

Click these fucking links, I found them for you, Cuddles.

A Really Hot Bodybuilding Woman For You Closet Cases, And She’s Pullin’ Down Her Classy Leopard Print Thong GO

The Hottest Women of Japanese Pop GO

Alize Is not Just a Drink for Gangsters, It’s Also a French Slutty Singer and this is her Gallery GO

Here Are A Bunch of “Funny” Pictures, If You Have Absolutely No Concept of Funny GO

Andy Roddick’s Fly is Down While Doing a Tennis Demo, It’s Only Gay if You Get a Boner GO

Fran Drescher’s See Through Dress Scares Me GO

Ashlee Simpson is Worth a Round or Two GO

Some Shitty Australian Idol’s Got a Solid Set of Tits and Looks Like a Porn Star (I am Linking This for a Reader, I am nice like that) GO

Aria Giovanni is Dressed Like a Cowboy, Actually She’s Not Really Dressed at All, That Cowboy Hat Wearing Cunt GO

Adrian Brody’s Jewish GF in a Bikini GO

I Don’t Know Who Stacie Orrico is But I Do Want To See Her Naked GO

Liz Viscous is an Internet Celebrity, My Friend Who Likes Masturbating Jerked Off to Her Eating Out Some Bitch, He Says He Likes Masturbating, This Is The Link GO

These are the Girls of Napkin Nights and Some of them are Drunk, Making it Easier to Fantasize about them actually being willing to sleep with you GO

This is a Jen Sterger Fan Site, Now All You Need to Do is Figure Out Who the fuck Bitch is , so that you can be a fan. This is her Gallery GO

Here’s some Kelly Ripa Being an Idiot Montage to Jon Benet’s Killer’s Favorite Song GO

Last Night’s Party Does a Sexy Photoshoot in a Greyhound Bus, Cuz Hipster’s Can’t Afford to Fly…. GO

Girls Wrestling in Chocolate GO

Here’s the New Cast of Dancing With the Stars for You Faggots GO

PostYourGirl on a Boat Showing Off her Cooch GO

Look at picture number 9 and think Jon Benet Ramsey GO

This Dude Documents Celebrity Finds from the Dollar Store GO

Here’s Some European Bloggin’ From WRG GO

Some Big Breasted Girl and Her Asian Friend Eat Cheetos Seductively GO

Some Dirty Cam Whore to Turn You On GO

Some Ugly Girl Flashes the Camera Pretending to Be a Cam Whore GO

Some Fat Ass Slut in a Bikini Dancing For the Camera Video GO

This is the Worst Fucking Topless Dancer I Have Ever Fucking Seen GO

Get Yourself a Billy Doll Homo GO

Bianca Ryan From America’s Got Talent is the Next Jon Benet GO

Hey DJ AM, Nicole Richie Is Fucking Some Dude Named Brody, Here Are The Pics to Prove It. I Bet His Dick Looks Huge Up Against Her Ass, I Bet After Sex She Has To Stuff Her Uterus Back Inside Her GO

Remember To Check Out the Stepfather Site of the Day GO

Remember To Check Out Andi Pink In Her Panties Gallery GO

I Haven’t Reached My Million Myspace Friends and I Blame You – Asshole GO

I am looking for a web designer, If any of you are a web designer and CHEAP Email Me .

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Lohan and her Retarded and Rich Boyfriend of the Day

9 Comments »

There was a time in my life where I used to stalk Lindsay Lohan. I would have my jewish neighbor call her up and read a message I wrote to her. He would edit them to music and a picture slideshow of the cunt in action. One of them was seen by 100,000 people. Then I realized that it was a waste of time to stalk this cunt because she never returned my motherfuckin calls, and because no one found it funny but me. The original reason I started the stalking shit was because I thought it would be a good marketing strategy. I figured that enough ppl would take it seriously and send me a restraining order, getting my site on every major News and Entertainment show. Then bitch goes out and gets herself a real stalker and he takes away all my fucking glory. This is a Jon Benet Ramsey Tranny Killer of the day situation. He’s getting coverage coming out of his ass, first class plane tickets from Thailand, I was even watching Access Hollywood the other day and they’re interviewing the cast of CSI or Criminal Minds or some shit for their expert opinion. That’s like if the same Jon Benet Ramsey Killer got his sex change done by the cast of Grey’s Anatomy. I just turned on the TV, hoping to watch The View, to see Rosy O’Donnel back in the Lime-Light, because she’s not as lady like as Jon Benet’s killer and Grey’s Anatomy is on instead. That’s pretty much the reason this post took the turn that it did. I know it’s a lot of garbage to read, but I cropped the retard header pic and I find it pretty funny. So laugh at that and ignore my writing. It wouldn’t be a first. Asshole.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Lily Allen is Shitty Fucking Music of the Day

3 Comments »

I pretend I have my finger on the pulse of what’s going on when I am talking to drunken people my age and older in the park and to them I know what’s up in pop culture, but that’s not the point. The point is that I can’t pretend that I know what’s up here, it’s pretty fucking clear that I am a total hack at this shit. However, I do know that this bitch Lily Allen is the next big thing to come out of the U.K. in music and everyone’s got a fucking boner for her. I know this cuz my stepdaughter rocks her album everyday, over and fucking over. This bitch sings bubbly ironic songs about not being able to cum with her bf cuz of his small dick, she sings about only being pretty if she fits into a certain jean size and looks like Kate Moss, she sings about her brothers beating a dude who tries fuck her, she sings about….it really doesn’t matter what she sings about, she will always fucking suck. But unfortunately for us, teenage girls everywhere decide how rich a bitch becomes, and I predict she’ll be around for a while. She’s already stirring up shit in the media. Here are some things going on in her useless life.

She has a lyric saying she wishes she looked like Cheryl Tweedy, and Cheryl Tweedy thought she was serious, so this bitch set the record straight:

She said to Fametastic recently: â€œI donâ€™t want to look like Cheryl Tweedy! Itâ€™s tongue in cheek, itâ€™s meant to be ironic.â€?

â€œI donâ€™t have anything against her as a human being but I think the portrayal of her being the right thing for kids to look up to is wrong.

â€œIt was a joke that not many people got. Of course nobody really wants to look like Cheryl, they just think they do.â€?

And she’s pickin’ fights with Madonna:

The Smile singer recently caused controversy by naming Madge as “the most overrated person in pop history” in an interview with GQ magazine.

Speaking to Virgin Radio, she insisted: “I did not really feel that I was offensive. Someone asked me a question and I answered it.”

And she’s realizes that she sucks:

Asked about how she is handling fame, Lily added: “While it’s lasting it’s great. I’m sure it will end some day, maybe one day soon.”

And she’s pickin’ fights with Peaches Geldof, Bob Geldof’s piece of shit daughter, he’s supposed to be a big deal in the UK:

The Smile singer allegedly confronted Peaches after hearing that she had branded her a “cokehead”.

An onlooker told the newspaper: “It was disgusting. Peaches was watching the Cuban Brothers with her boyfriend when Lily spotted her and stormed right over. She got in really close behind Peaches and gobbed on the back of her shoes before walking off.”

Lily accused Peaches’ father Bob of being a “hypocrite” on her Myspace page earlier this year.

Visit Her Myspace By CLICKIN’ THIS LINK and Leave Her Comments of HATE!!

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Melanie Griffith Walkin’ The Kids of the Day

1 Comment »

I love teenage angst more than I love teenage pregnancy and I fucking love teenage pregnancy more than I love most things. I am not going to sit here and say I know anything about teen angst, cuz I am not a psychologist, I can say that it’s fucking funny though because I do have a sense of humor. Teens get their panties all knotted up between their newly pubescent mound for no fucking reason. I assume that it’s got to do with being all hormonally fucked up but probably also has something to do with trying to find their place in society and their own voice in the world by distancing themselves from their family with anger and embarrassment. So instead of not giving a fuck, they become hypersensitive and angry. I am assuming that Melanie Griffith’s self absorbed life has fucked her teenage daughter up the ass with some kind of spoiled rich kid issues cuz by the looks of these pics, she’d rather be rippin lines in her friend’s basement (like her daddy and mommy did in the Miami Vice days, before a bitter divorce leaving her emotionally shattered) than walking down the street with her whore of a mother. I guess it really doesn’t matter what I think, except that I think this post sucks just as much as you do, so we got something in common. Let’s cuddle.

In Teen Pregnancy News, this is a message I sent to a pregnant teen on myspace, she hasn’t responded yet:

I want you to do me a favor please. Take a picture of your box before and after you give birth. I want to see how much damage is done

When it goes back to the original before shot shape – we can cuddle.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Aug

I am – Melanie Griffith Walkin' The Kids of the Day

1 Comment »

I love teenage angst more than I love teenage pregnancy and I fucking love teenage pregnancy more than I love most things. I am not going to sit here and say I know anything about teen angst, cuz I am not a psychologist, I can say that it’s fucking funny though because I do have a sense of humor. Teens get their panties all knotted up between their newly pubescent mound for no fucking reason. I assume that it’s got to do with being all hormonally fucked up but probably also has something to do with trying to find their place in society and their own voice in the world by distancing themselves from their family with anger and embarrassment. So instead of not giving a fuck, they become hypersensitive and angry. I am assuming that Melanie Griffith’s self absorbed life has fucked her teenage daughter up the ass with some kind of spoiled rich kid issues cuz by the looks of these pics, she’d rather be rippin lines in her friend’s basement (like her daddy and mommy did in the Miami Vice days, before a bitter divorce leaving her emotionally shattered) than walking down the street with her whore of a mother. I guess it really doesn’t matter what I think, except that I think this post sucks just as much as you do, so we got something in common. Let’s cuddle.

In Teen Pregnancy News, this is a message I sent to a pregnant teen on myspace, she hasn’t responded yet:

I want you to do me a favor please. Take a picture of your box before and after you give birth. I want to see how much damage is done

When it goes back to the original before shot shape – we can cuddle.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted