She is a nobody, but she is more important than I am in Hollywood. The reason she is more important than me may be because of her father, her trust fund, the people she hangs with, the people she slams, the fact that she is more talented and no matter what the reason is, she is important enough to have the paparazzi chase her and important enough for people like me to post about her. That really isn’t saying all that much, she is ugly but I always say that I have low standards. I was just at the doctor again today and they told me they need to do a biopsy on a lump they found. I may have cancer, so what better way to let my reader (you) know than by posting some pictures of a useless slag, one I consider a canerous lump on whatever city she is in.

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The server is down…this is a prime example of the man trying to bring me down. It’s a pretty good strategy because in this downtime I realized that this site is pretty much all I’ve got…..I should be back up soon… So come back for sexy updates later.

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Who is this bitch? All I know is that she is from Mexico and she’s drinking a Starbucks drink. I find it insane that I am sitting next to 10 empty Starbucks “GRANDE” sized cups, with the cardboard sleeves still on, because I drink this shit too. I drink it because I haven’t paid for a Latte since my lap top was stolen from them last week and my goal is to get 3000 dollars of lattes from them so that I fell like I break even. It’s about $5 per latte, so I am looking at 600 Lattes. I was thinking it’d be funny to have a coffee drinking competition to the death. Line up 2 dudes and a truckload of coffee, making them do shots until one of them drops dead. You may be there for a long time waiting but it would make for a good viral video and sometimes content is worth dying for. If I was a celebrity I wouldn’t eat my meals at McDonalds, I wouldn’t drink my coffee from Starbucks, I wouldn’t get my hair did at Top Cuts, I wouldn’t buy my clothes at TJ Maxx, I wouldn’t buy my groceries at price chopper, there are certain things celebrities need to do to maintain their exclusive image. Vanessa Minillo didn’t get that email, but I can only assume that only real celebrities were on the mailing list, but I am sure she makes amazing tortillas. Cuddles.

I think it’s so “common-folk” of people with money to grab coffee from the local chain shop, you’d think they’d have coffee experts brewing exclusive costa rican beans in their

Check out the Girls of Starbucks Naked

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Jessica Simpson is the old Ashlee, or Ashlee is the new Jessica, either way, they are both running around trying to get as much publicity as possible and I am okay with that. I think they both have something hot about them, Jessica is very horse-like in the face, and I always wanted to own a ranch when I growed up, Ashlee is built like a fridge box, and I always wanted a fridge growing up so I still don’t mind checking them out. I actually have no problem checking any girl out. I was meeting my parole officer for lunch today and saw this woman who looked like a washed up stripper come in. She had skinny legs to my neck and a huge rack. Her face looked like someone threw acid in her face in grade 9 science class, but I was still trying to look up her skirt, point of the story is that I really have no standards.

Visit this Link if you want to see her in a BIKINI

Visit this Link if you want to see her in a BIKINI

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Being a fat person in Canada who never leaves my shitty apartment means that I never get the chance to see girls in bikinis, which is too bad because it is something I think I would enjoy. Molly Sims is some model turned MTV host, turned actress who doesn’t even really look that good to me, but I do like that she’s got a wrap on to cover up her ass. The fact that slut’s hiding something from the cameras makes me want to get up in that shit more than ever, I guess it’s the same reason I used to jerk off to Muslim bitches.

Either way, I was at the drugstore buying allergy meds, because I can’t breathe and walked past the yeast infection section, as I like to do because I like to see what sluts are shopping there so I can try to make them feel like the dirtbags there are. To my surprise I saw a 20 year old with a nose ring trying to choose the cream the best suited her vag infection. I laughed to myself because the intensity in her eyes made me me think she was buying a fucking car or house or whatever it is people have trouble buying because they don’t want any buyer’s remorse. I guess what it comes down do is that a vag is a pretty important place for a slag, it’s kinda all she’s got. It’s her job, her currency, her life savings and investment, it’s her recreation, it’s her hobby, it’s her anti-depressant, it’s her fucking education, it’s her fucking life. I guess that’s why bitch was being so careful.

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I don’t know what Movida Night Club is, I am not that hip. But I do know what a slut is and here are a couple of them outside that club. I am walking out for a bit, so I’ll let the pictures speak for themself. Based on these tits, these girls are obviously strippers that were hired to do some sleazy promo. I call it – not quite a hooker, not yet a pornstar. It’s like a modern day Britney Spears song.

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I guess it’s pretty obvious that Pink hates herself, but that’s only because I hate Pink and assume that anyone with any sense of logic would hate her too, including herself. Here is her self-hating tattoo of a razorblade, making us all remember how hardcore she is. It makes us all wonder why she didn’t actually kill herself and save us from the shit that is her music. Cuddles.

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Or should I say that Hilary Duff’s lame rockstar boyfriend is getting in bed with little boys of the day, because by the look of this girl, she’s got to be rockin’ a dick. I guess it has to do with him being a twin, I remember reading somewhere that male twins are 10 times more likely to become faggot. I don’t know what the logic is, but maybe it is because twins are always naked and gettin’ their diapers changed together. When you aren’t a twin, pulling your dick out in front of other dudes never really feels right, unless you’re gay. I am convinced that the dudes at the gym, who are straight and under 40, are never fully comfortable being naked with dudes, they just think it’s what they are supposed to be because fags took over the locker room the day they found out they could watch other men change there, because let’s face it, if you were allowed in the ladies locker room, you’d be doing the same thing and the straight dudes took the gay dudes’ lead and were like “shit maybe I am supposed to be showering naked like that dude” and that’s the story of Hilary Duff.

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I had some useless commentary to make about how women who lose weight become sluts, but realized I have said that before and would hate to repeat myself. I also wanted to talk about grown women with little girl bodies but couldn’t really find an angle. I was going to say something along the how the hormones in food are making girls develop huge tits at a young age so now people with little girl fetishes have to look to 25 year old skinny bitches to get off since 10 year olds have bigger tits than their lactating wife.

But I didn’t know where to take it from there. I know that in my time girls had no tits, they were all thin like Nicole Richie because fast food wasn’t the way it is now. I don’t think she’s too skinny and I am sure she’s a rockin’ good time in bed. I don’t have a little boy fetish, but bitch has hips and looks more womanly that someone 50 lbs heavier with cellulite and a shovel for you to dig with. The reason you have to dig, is cuz it’s a fucking treasure hunt just trying to find her pussy. When you marry a 337 pound woman, banging a small ass that makes you feel like a little more of a man is a good thing, not that I could bang a small ass if I wanted to, with the impotency and shit, but you know what I am saying….life’s about balance and to dis her for having a hot thin body is a waste of time, because we all know, thin is hot and you’re not….

Bonus….Candid Pics….

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