I remember when I would used to see David Arquette on TV and think to myself that this dude does not get laid. He was too fucking annoying to have any game and I was convinced he was destined to have a life of banging hookers or his brother, the post-op tranny…Then big eared Cox came into the picture, they got married and have brought in a useless STD into the world forever binding their love. I guess that teaches us two things, one that no matter how useless, lame and unfunny you are, some confused sitcom star will find your awkwardness charming. The other thing we have learnt is that I have absolutely no insight at all and you reading this was a waste of your time. Cuddles.

r

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You are a Virgin, Richard Branson owns Virgin, his son is probably not a Virgin, he looks like the kind of guy sluts like Lohan and Paris are going to be throwing their vagina’s at because the son of a billionaire is always more appealing than some hack rockstar or actor. Trust funds are cooler than hard earned money. Either way, I am more interested in Grandpa Billionaire’s tits, if I wasn’t impotent, I’d titty fuck the motherfucker and it wouldn’t be gay, but that’s just how I am livin’. Don’t believe me, I am just telling you what you want to hear.

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Sometimes I wake up at 2 pm, fully clothed on the floor of my kitchen with salsa dried up on my face. Those are the days where I feel like this site is a huge waste of my fucking time, and I know you guys are annoyed of my bitching about how much I suck, but it’s kinda what I do. I am not depressed or hating on myself, I am just bored of this shit. There’s nothing happening, the site’s less popular than it was last year, I make no money, and I hate celebrity shit. I haven’t made out with Lohan or been invited to any celebrity parties. I emailed American Apparel once for an ad deal and they never returned my call.

Maybe that’s the problem, I am posting on shit I don’t care about, just trying to get traffic. But then, I sober up and realize, I really have nothing better to do with my time. Kinda like this slut Beckham. She made her money 10 years ago and since Spice Girls, hasn’t done shit and by shit I mean have 5 babies. The difference between me and Beckham is that I am 300 lbs, mexican, poor and unaccomplished, but other than that, we’re kinda the same person. That’s the story I heard. Now go fuck yourself. Thanks in advance.

Bonus: Victoria Beckham with her Kids….and by Kids I Mean Tits

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Sometimes I wake up at 2 pm, fully clothed on the floor of my kitchen with salsa dried up on my face. Those are the days where I feel like this site is a huge waste of my fucking time, and I know you guys are annoyed of my bitching about how much I suck, but it’s kinda what I do. I am not depressed or hating on myself, I am just bored of this shit. There’s nothing happening, the site’s less popular than it was last year, I make no money, and I hate celebrity shit. I haven’t made out with Lohan or been invited to any celebrity parties. I emailed American Apparel once for an ad deal and they never returned my call.

Maybe that’s the problem, I am posting on shit I don’t care about, just trying to get traffic. But then, I sober up and realize, I really have nothing better to do with my time. Kinda like this slut Beckham. She made her money 10 years ago and since Spice Girls, hasn’t done shit and by shit I mean have 5 babies. The difference between me and Beckham is that I am 300 lbs, mexican, poor and unaccomplished, but other than that, we’re kinda the same person. That’s the story I heard. Now go fuck yourself. Thanks in advance.

Bonus: Victoria Beckham with her Kids….and by Kids I Mean Tits

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I have decided that I don’t like sluts. I like classy ladies. I have never been drawn to girls who look like hookers/strippers because my mind starts playing tricks on me to the point where all I can smell is syphilis in the air when I am with them. Most guys are busy tucking their boners into their pants, trying to hide the fact that all they want to do is fuck the shit out of them, while I backburner the shit and try to avoid further conversation so that I can go home and question my sexuality on my blog. Eliza Dushku looks like a total piece of stripper trash in her ripped jeans and whore boots and all I can smell is syphilis. Thanks.

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I have decided that I don’t like sluts. I like classy ladies. I have never been drawn to girls who look like hookers/strippers because my mind starts playing tricks on me to the point where all I can smell is syphilis in the air when I am with them. Most guys are busy tucking their boners into their pants, trying to hide the fact that all they want to do is fuck the shit out of them, while I backburner the shit and try to avoid further conversation so that I can go home and question my sexuality on my blog. Eliza Dushku looks like a total piece of stripper trash in her ripped jeans and whore boots and all I can smell is syphilis. Thanks.

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Jude Law dresses like a 16 year old girl and this concludes my first post that has no vagina in it. Making it by default the Gayest Stepfather Post of the day.

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Jude Law dresses like a 16 year old girl and this concludes my first post that has no vagina in it. Making it by default the Gayest Stepfather Post of the day.

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