I was told by someone on my instant messenger that I am scared of the world and that is why I don’t have a real job, that’s why I don’t take anything seriously, that’s why I constantly make fun of my wife, that’s why I don’t really leave my house or have friends. She told me that I should go on SSRI’s which I assume are anti-depressants. I have been prescribed Paxil and Prozak in the past, but never took them. I hate shit that fucks with the chemicals in my brain. I guess reality is that people don’t understand people who fear the normal suburban life. You know the 9 to 5 job, mortgage and car payments, 2 weeks off in the summer, 1 week for christmas, day after day same old bullshit over and over again until you die. No thanks.

I figured I would address the issue of Jesus Martinez’s mental health in this post, because it comes up a lot. What it really comes down to is that no matter what you say or do, someone is gonna be out there analyzing it. They may do it to better understand where you are coming from for their own comfort/satisfaction, or they may do it because they are annoying Psych students trying to apply the shit they learn in school to real life, but reality is that everyone’s got issues if you analyze everything they do. In my case people don’t understand someone who sits at home all day and types about celebrities and other random shit, who likes making people he doesn’t know laugh and who has more fun on the government funded computer than in a bar with a bunch of other alcoholics or with my fat wife and kids at the amusment park or at a useless job making shit money. It’s got nothing to do with fear of the world or failure or rejection, or hiding out in my safe haven of a world, it has to do with creating my own destiny, entertaining myself, laughing and not having some cocksucker millionaire of a boss bitch me out for showing up 2 minutes late when I helped the motherfucker make his millions.

Point of all this is to say that people make choices in life, and my choice is to write while I am on welfare and not to go on pills and become the status blue collar quo. I will not hang with the other people I know on welfare at the horse races. I will not sit on a park bench drinking 40s with them to fill my useless day. I am going to continue spreading my word to the 2 people who read this site because I find it fun to do, and I assume you two find it fun to read. I guess the other point of all this is to say that if some girl on IM is already showing this much interest in my personality, I can probably totally get her naked, which i will….and now The REAL Point of all this is that we all got our issues and Kate Beckinsale’s issue today is that she wears those stupid raver fat pants that all the bitches are starting to rock lately while showing off her ass crack while smoking a butt and lookin’ depressed. Thanks Kate. That’s Great.

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I was told by someone on my instant messenger that I am scared of the world and that is why I don’t have a real job, that’s why I don’t take anything seriously, that’s why I constantly make fun of my wife, that’s why I don’t really leave my house or have friends. She told me that I should go on SSRI’s which I assume are anti-depressants. I have been prescribed Paxil and Prozak in the past, but never took them. I hate shit that fucks with the chemicals in my brain. I guess reality is that people don’t understand people who fear the normal suburban life. You know the 9 to 5 job, mortgage and car payments, 2 weeks off in the summer, 1 week for christmas, day after day same old bullshit over and over again until you die. No thanks.

I figured I would address the issue of Jesus Martinez’s mental health in this post, because it comes up a lot. What it really comes down to is that no matter what you say or do, someone is gonna be out there analyzing it. They may do it to better understand where you are coming from for their own comfort/satisfaction, or they may do it because they are annoying Psych students trying to apply the shit they learn in school to real life, but reality is that everyone’s got issues if you analyze everything they do. In my case people don’t understand someone who sits at home all day and types about celebrities and other random shit, who likes making people he doesn’t know laugh and who has more fun on the government funded computer than in a bar with a bunch of other alcoholics or with my fat wife and kids at the amusment park or at a useless job making shit money. It’s got nothing to do with fear of the world or failure or rejection, or hiding out in my safe haven of a world, it has to do with creating my own destiny, entertaining myself, laughing and not having some cocksucker millionaire of a boss bitch me out for showing up 2 minutes late when I helped the motherfucker make his millions.

Point of all this is to say that people make choices in life, and my choice is to write while I am on welfare and not to go on pills and become the status blue collar quo. I will not hang with the other people I know on welfare at the horse races. I will not sit on a park bench drinking 40s with them to fill my useless day. I am going to continue spreading my word to the 2 people who read this site because I find it fun to do, and I assume you two find it fun to read. I guess the other point of all this is to say that if some girl on IM is already showing this much interest in my personality, I can probably totally get her naked, which i will….and now The REAL Point of all this is that we all got our issues and Kate Beckinsale’s issue today is that she wears those stupid raver fat pants that all the bitches are starting to rock lately while showing off her ass crack while smoking a butt and lookin’ depressed. Thanks Kate. That’s Great.

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The thing that always made me laugh about bikinis was the liner on the inside of the bottoms. They have a plastic protective sticker, you know so that it keeps the bikini sanitary while it goes through the sales process and you don’t catch any vagina diseases from the other dirtbags who tried on the bikini….I wonder if a sales clerk wipes down that protective tape at the end of the day, or after each girl tries on the bottoms, because if they don’t I don’t see what makes it better to rub your cunt against a piece of plastic a ton of other girls rubbed their cunts on, or rubbing it up against a piece of fabric multiple women have tried on. I know that you’re supposed to wear underwear while bikini shopping, but I also know that a lot of girls probably don’t, justifying it by saying that everyone else does, next thing they know they’re rockin’ a scratch.

I guess that rant had absolutely nothing to do with this post, it had to do with hygiene. What I really wanted to write about was this skinny stripper at the strip club I go to, and how she’s an unhealthy drug addict of a woman, probably as small as Nicole Richie but looks like death. Richie looks good to me in these pics. I like a skinny girl, she’s got good hip to waist ratio, her small tits look hotter now than they did when she was a fat slob, flashing on the runway. I’d totally bang her, but it would mainly be to piss off DJ AM. I love being the new guy.

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The thing that always made me laugh about bikinis was the liner on the inside of the bottoms. They have a plastic protective sticker, you know so that it keeps the bikini sanitary while it goes through the sales process and you don’t catch any vagina diseases from the other dirtbags who tried on the bikini….I wonder if a sales clerk wipes down that protective tape at the end of the day, or after each girl tries on the bottoms, because if they don’t I don’t see what makes it better to rub your cunt against a piece of plastic a ton of other girls rubbed their cunts on, or rubbing it up against a piece of fabric multiple women have tried on. I know that you’re supposed to wear underwear while bikini shopping, but I also know that a lot of girls probably don’t, justifying it by saying that everyone else does, next thing they know they’re rockin’ a scratch.

I guess that rant had absolutely nothing to do with this post, it had to do with hygiene. What I really wanted to write about was this skinny stripper at the strip club I go to, and how she’s an unhealthy drug addict of a woman, probably as small as Nicole Richie but looks like death. Richie looks good to me in these pics. I like a skinny girl, she’s got good hip to waist ratio, her small tits look hotter now than they did when she was a fat slob, flashing on the runway. I’d totally bang her, but it would mainly be to piss off DJ AM. I love being the new guy.

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Steve used to help me with this link dump and now that he is gone, I am doing it on my own. I am okay with that, but if you sent something in or we owe you links, or whatever just email it back to me because I may have not seen it or linked it today. I surf other sites as often as I can, which is almost never – so if you have seen all these already go fuck yourself and find a better site to read…I don’t really mean that. I love all of you, even the ugly ones….which I am sure percentage-wise we are the site with the ugliest readers on the net…we should do a poll.

Weird Cement Bondage Clips
Adrianna Lima in Brazil Vogue
Diesel Has Gone Into Porn
Katherine Mcphee Still has Cleavage
Topless Silvina Luna, No Idea who she is
We love all things Lohan
Britney’s Got Curlers
Pamela David in a Weird Topless Pic

Luba Posing Video Hot
Porn Actresses have an INSANE Fight
Nicole Richie is Addicted to Diet Pills
Watch This Reese Witherspoon Interviewer Check out her Ass…. (don’t listen to the bullshit she’s spewing…put it on mute…this is killing me…I want to shit on her face)

SUNDAY MORNING UPDATE:

Shouts outs go to Dlisted.com for not sucking, Planetsuzy.com for flirting with me, Cayos.com for replying to every singe email, and PinkIsTheNewBlog and Perez Hilton for being the punch line to every joke, ever.

Speaking of jokes, here is Today’s Links for the last time.

Lindsey Lohan Stalker post of the day. V.10
StepMUSIC does My So Called Life
Scary Spice is still around
Resse Witherspoon’s favorite pants
Rachel Bilsons dog is a pervert.
Michelle Trachtenberg stalker post, of the day. v2.0
Liz Hurley’s wardrobe malfunction
Victoria Silvstedts in Cannes

Yet again, I have been slacking on the office photos. Instead, however, I have these pictures of me walking away. How symbolic.


Today’s Useful Tip:

I Quit.

This email has been brought to you by: Dictionary.com

Desperately yours,

Steve.

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As previously mentioned, Drunken StepSteve has left the cardboard box in the laundry room of the aparment complex I live in. The place I call the stepOFFICE. He left to pursue other dreams but will still be with us in spirit and by spirit, I mean I am having someone kill him off because I like to think of my life as a sitcom and in this sitcom his character knows way too much about my plans….

Steve was a great contribution to the site and sent out a lot of really funny daily emails that none of you got to read because you don’t run websites. He put up with my lack of communication and social skills and never let me down, until yesterday when he announced his departure. I know he’s a talent and I will be trying to lure him in to be on camera personality for future stepTV projects if he has time for us. I like to think of my little stepfather site as a stepping stone to everyone….and that said here are some pictures of Pink singing an emotional goodbye song for all of you to cry to.

Drunken Step Steve, I’d like to officially thank you for your hard work, turning my couches into a camper bed, the dinners you cooked for me while I was on the computer, numerous nights at the strip club and in bars spending my step daughter’s college money and most importantly for keeping me company in this lonely internet life that I live. It was good times and reminded me of my days back in college. I like to think you brought new life into what I do, and hopefully that will carry through into making me a lot of money. I will be sending you postcards from the top. Enjoy your trip back home and your worldly travels. One day, I’ll give you that shout out on Kimmel, maybe a little “Wish you were here, asshole” and that’s when you’ll know you made the right choice…

Pink Passionate About the Music (at least someone is)

Pink Nipples in Face Magazine (not sure how old it is)

Bonus: Drunken StepSteve’s Goodbye Email (made public)

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As previously mentioned, Drunken StepSteve has left the cardboard box in the laundry room of the aparment complex I live in. The place I call the stepOFFICE. He left to pursue other dreams but will still be with us in spirit and by spirit, I mean I am having someone kill him off because I like to think of my life as a sitcom and in this sitcom his character knows way too much about my plans….

Steve was a great contribution to the site and sent out a lot of really funny daily emails that none of you got to read because you don’t run websites. He put up with my lack of communication and social skills and never let me down, until yesterday when he announced his departure. I know he’s a talent and I will be trying to lure him in to be on camera personality for future stepTV projects if he has time for us. I like to think of my little stepfather site as a stepping stone to everyone….and that said here are some pictures of Pink singing an emotional goodbye song for all of you to cry to.

Drunken Step Steve, I’d like to officially thank you for your hard work, turning my couches into a camper bed, the dinners you cooked for me while I was on the computer, numerous nights at the strip club and in bars spending my step daughter’s college money and most importantly for keeping me company in this lonely internet life that I live. It was good times and reminded me of my days back in college. I like to think you brought new life into what I do, and hopefully that will carry through into making me a lot of money. I will be sending you postcards from the top. Enjoy your trip back home and your worldly travels. One day, I’ll give you that shout out on Kimmel, maybe a little “Wish you were here, asshole” and that’s when you’ll know you made the right choice…

Pink Passionate About the Music (at least someone is)

Pink Nipples in Face Magazine (not sure how old it is)

Bonus: Drunken StepSteve’s Goodbye Email (made public)

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