I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

25

May

I am – stepMusic: The Lemonheads

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My man Grover is back with another depressing band. I guess it’s a representation of the state he’s in out in North Carolina, I don’t ask questions partially cuz I don’t care but also because when you get him started he won’t shut up. I am not interested in deep, emotional people but I am definitely not into deep vagina, I like the g-spot to be closer to the rim. Only because I have a small insignificant penis.

I have only known of one person who liked the Lemonheads. She was a crackhead raver who looked like a man and was a virgin. So let’s dedicate this to the 3 Lemonhead fans out there….and move on from here…. to the better stepMusic artists to come.

I’m a big Lemonheads fan. Evan Dando is a junkie, and Jesus obviously condones all drug use, so I had to beg him to let me write about this band. Dando is one of the 300 rock stars who have dated Wynonna Rider. He was also in Heavy with Liv Tyler as Tyler’s gas station attendee boyfriend. My brother who lives in Chicago once saw Dando on the train. He had someone helping him up and taking him around because he was too fucked up to do it himself. It’s interesting though….when you think of drugged out rock stars, you expect them to sound a little tougher, but Evan Dando plays pretty pop songs. Sometimes they’re about girls, sometimes they’re about drugs, but mostly they’re cover songs that he didn’t write. Probably because he was too fucked up to do write something himself. Anyway, I used to be in a band when I was a little younger and the first song I ever played live was “Confetti� from their album It’s A Shame About Ray. Here’s a few tracks from that album. It’s my favorite Lemonheads records and possibly the BEST album of all time. Juliana Hatfield sings and plays bass on it. Juliana Hatfield was once on an episode of My So Called Life where she played a homeless angel that plays guitar. Lame.

Here are some Lemonhead mp3’s for you (right click – save target as – keep them):

The Lemonheads-Mrs. Robinson
The Lemonheads-It’s A Shame About Ray
The Lemonheads-Buddy
The Lemonheads-Rocin’ Stroll
The Lemonheads-Confetti

Bonus: Liv Tyler Lookin’ Good….


Another Bonus: Liv Tyler and Something That Has Seen Her Tits and Pussy

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2006

25

May

I am – Paris Hilton Filming New Music Video

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Paris has a music career that I forgot about. I guess every good drag queen knows how to rock the mic as well as the cock. We have yet to see Paris’ skills as a singer but judging from these pics, it’s going to be hysterical. I guess you gotta respect the girl for going through life with the weirdest lookin’ beaver I have ever seen and I have seen a lot. It looks like she’s packin a nice pair of testicles…which is always possible considering all the money her family has to raise a boy as a girl…you know providing that little boy with the hormone therapy and surgery ghetto trannies don’t have access to….I was watching Oprah and it was on priviledge kids and what they choose to do with the opportunity they have been given. Some go on to starting charities and shit others go into rehab….funny what money can breed.

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Nipple Tape

Nipple Slip

Bonus –

TMZ GUYS BRING THE GOODS WITH THE VIDEO SHOOT VIDEO
(COMPLETE WITH NIP SLIP)

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2006

25

May

I am – Megan Fox’s Boyfriend’s Boner of the Day

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And her Boyfriend is Brian Austin Green of Beverly Hills 90210. I just couldn’t write “I am – Brian Austin Green’s Boner” because this is not a gay site, like Perez Hilton and Trent.

Point of the story is that I think I found the next bitch I want to stalk and that is Megan Fox. She’s just not famous enough yet. The girl is fuckin’ hot and is a total dirt bag. She’s rubbin’ off some dude off under the table of a restaurant and there’s no doubt that they are going home together after the meal for a session. I’m not a boner expert by it looks like dude’s rockin’ one in the top pic, not to mention he’s got that creepy boner look on his face while smoking his cigarette. I guess the point of the story is that it is hot to see a girl get dirty. It’s nice when a girl is intune with her sexuality.No one wants an uptight slag who doesn’t accept the fact that we are people who fuck, or a total exhibitionist whore. Because those people aren’t consistent, the uptight girl’s the one who pretty much rapes you behind closed doors, and the exhibitionist bitch won’t let you fuck her. What you want is a consistent girl, who is equally slutty in the bedroom as she is when she’s out and about with you, preferably in tighter jeans than Megan Fox wears, but jeans don’t make a girl. Tits do.

Bonus:

See Her Galleries Here
(She is HOT)

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2006

25

May

I am – Megan Fox's Boyfriend's Boner of the Day

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And her Boyfriend is Brian Austin Green of Beverly Hills 90210. I just couldn’t write “I am – Brian Austin Green’s Boner” because this is not a gay site, like Perez Hilton and Trent.

Point of the story is that I think I found the next bitch I want to stalk and that is Megan Fox. She’s just not famous enough yet. The girl is fuckin’ hot and is a total dirt bag. She’s rubbin’ off some dude off under the table of a restaurant and there’s no doubt that they are going home together after the meal for a session. I’m not a boner expert by it looks like dude’s rockin’ one in the top pic, not to mention he’s got that creepy boner look on his face while smoking his cigarette. I guess the point of the story is that it is hot to see a girl get dirty. It’s nice when a girl is intune with her sexuality.No one wants an uptight slag who doesn’t accept the fact that we are people who fuck, or a total exhibitionist whore. Because those people aren’t consistent, the uptight girl’s the one who pretty much rapes you behind closed doors, and the exhibitionist bitch won’t let you fuck her. What you want is a consistent girl, who is equally slutty in the bedroom as she is when she’s out and about with you, preferably in tighter jeans than Megan Fox wears, but jeans don’t make a girl. Tits do.

Bonus:

See Her Galleries Here
(She is HOT)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

25

May

I am – Nicole Richie Likes Jews….

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I know Jewish girls love Richie because all the Jewish girls I ever see are rockin’ her style. So many of them are doing it that I have named it the Jewish Outfit of the Day , even though it all comes from Richie who is more of a Mexican with black adopted parents than a Jew, strength is in numbers….so the Jews win this one…

I guess the good news for all the Jews who want to be her, is that she doesn’t hate your people, proven by this pic. I can spot a Jewish girl from a mile away. It’s a fetish. She did dump DJ AM when she found out he was one., but it only took her 2 years.

I have mentioned in the Lohan Stalker Posts that I used to be friendly with DJ AM last year and he invited me to a show he was playing here. Turned out that he was bringing Nicole to host the event and they got paid $30,000 to do it. The club didn’t want to let me in because it’s one of those places Lebanese and Italian 19 year old slicksters with BMWs go. The security didn’t believe I was on the list until, but their Manager came out looking for me, and I got in. From that point on it was free champagne and scotch for me. I was being carted around with Nicole and her bodyguard because the promoter thought I was good friends with them. I was thinking to myself that fame is a shitty place to be, unless you really like free booze, because I saw random guys rubbing her head and trying to touch her and shit, it kinda freaked me out.

When I was sitting with her in the upstairs VIP area I tried to chat her up, only to get a glassy eyed canned response, like “This is so fun….”.Then I asked her to message Lohan for me saying “Jesus Martinez of DrunkenStepfather.com wants to make you famous”, because even then I was Lohan stalker, and she Richie said no to me…..Either way, the whole time we were up there which was probably an hour, she kept waving and blowing kisses to AM….I thought to myself that there’s no way in hell anyone loves another person that much, and if they do they don’t act like that. It was some serious unhealthy neediness and separation anxiety issues but I am not a psychologist, but I may need one….Enough of my stupid stories… I am going to get a coffee…

Posted in:stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2006

25

May

I am – Ashlee Simpson Boxes of the Day

I guess it all makes sense now. Bitch gets her nose done because she’s droppin a new album like Britney drops babies. I like how people try to revamp their image when they are about to do something big, like get married, release an album, sell a house, change jobs. Whatever it is in their lives they think they need to modify the old and bring out the polished new version. Look at Ashlee in these pics, she’s got a new face, new hair, someone said something about new tits a while ago, but I can’t tell from these pics, and it’s all to sell more albums because of an inferiority complex of having Jessica Simspon suceed when Ashlee was too young to. I was watching Richard Pryor, Live on Sunset Strip last night because someone told me Pryor changed comedy and that I had to watch it and shit….anyway this fuckin’ DVD is from after his drug addiciton, so it’s all introspective and shit. He refused to drop the n-word and the whole time he reflects on life. I didn’t laugh once…I’ll admit I am not a laugher, but I didn’t even laugh on the inside once. Point of the story is that changing your image or the shit you say will never mask how much you really suck. If you paint an old run down house, it’s still a run down house, that was pretty fucking deep. Admit it.

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2006

25

May

I am – Katherine McPhee’s Cleavage of the Day

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I am posting these because she lost American Idol yesterday, and I put myself through the hell that was watching the finale. It was mainly because I only have one channel, the Oprah, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol channel, but I am not making excuses. I am also not going to write about how the show was a promotional tool to sell tickets for their upcoming tour. I am also not going to go into why all these musicians were on the show singing duets with the Idols, other than a publicity stunt. The last time I heard both LIVE and MEATLOAF was in 1990. I will mention that Clay Aiken looks like Fall Out Boy, I guess that’s the new look in the gay scene, or the look in the emo scene to mask one’s sexuality…his duet was jokes, mainly because there are other red-headed faggots who sing out there. I thought he came himself when Aiken showed up, I have a feeling they fucked after the show, like Sonny and Cher used to…I guess other than that, the highlight of the show was McPhee’s Cleavage. Cleavage is one of those things I can always fall back on to make anything good. I came from an era where cleavage was taboo and bitches rocked turtlenecks, so it would still get me hard, provided I could get hard….First post of the day, and I was as painful to write as it was to read. Cuddles.




Bonus – Watch Clay Aiken and His Boyfriend Sing

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2006

25

May

I am – Katherine McPhee's Cleavage of the Day

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I am posting these because she lost American Idol yesterday, and I put myself through the hell that was watching the finale. It was mainly because I only have one channel, the Oprah, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol channel, but I am not making excuses. I am also not going to write about how the show was a promotional tool to sell tickets for their upcoming tour. I am also not going to go into why all these musicians were on the show singing duets with the Idols, other than a publicity stunt. The last time I heard both LIVE and MEATLOAF was in 1990. I will mention that Clay Aiken looks like Fall Out Boy, I guess that’s the new look in the gay scene, or the look in the emo scene to mask one’s sexuality…his duet was jokes, mainly because there are other red-headed faggots who sing out there. I thought he came himself when Aiken showed up, I have a feeling they fucked after the show, like Sonny and Cher used to…I guess other than that, the highlight of the show was McPhee’s Cleavage. Cleavage is one of those things I can always fall back on to make anything good. I came from an era where cleavage was taboo and bitches rocked turtlenecks, so it would still get me hard, provided I could get hard….First post of the day, and I was as painful to write as it was to read. Cuddles.




Bonus – Watch Clay Aiken and His Boyfriend Sing

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2006

25

May

I am – Links that Stinks of the Day

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Taylor Hicks won American Idol. I’d like to say that Katherine McPhee had great tits. Yes, I know she’s chubby. I’d also like to say hello to my Mexican Internet girlfriend and her fake boyfriend. She’s not so chubby. I’d also like to send a shout out to DrunkenStepSteve for his daily email none of you get.

If you have any links send them in…..here are links I found.

Girl Getting Naked in the Club
Britney When We Wanted to Bang Her (I still do…)
She’s Naked and Posing and So Am I (she is hotter than me…)
Borat Recreating That Famous Internet Picture (I hate Borat)
Last Year Sophie Marceau Had a Nip Slip
Christina Aguilera is Drunk and has a Nice Rack
Elena Santarelli: The most beautiful girl in the world! (I like nipple)
Wives Heaven: a New Sexy Site(I like Sexy Sites)
Girls Stripping Video(I like Strippers)
Howard Stern Measures Tits
Topless Oil Wrestling is Not That Hot

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2006

24

May

I am – Kristen Bell Doesn’t Eat Animals

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This is the girl that is in that show Veronica Mars. I have never seen the show, but would start if she wore this outfit while playing with a dog the whole time. She was named one of the sexiest vegetarians of the year. That means she doesn’t eat meat, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t eat my meat. That was a bad vegetarian joke that just ruined this post, but it’s okay, I am sure it has ruined many dates involving a dinner and a hot girl who is doesn’t eat meat and a jock trying to be funny and get in her pants. You know the “Hey Baby, i hope you eat my meat”….. That’s where this vegetarian discussion ends.

I went to my nutritionist today, yes I have a nutritionist because I am fat and have liver problems from drinking, and she helps make me a menu that I never follow, but that’s not the point, point is that on the way, I saw a fat highschool girl eating a KFC burger at 2:30 PM. She was waiting for the bus. It was obvious that she had already eaten breakfast, lunch and now this KFC burger was a pre-going home snack, only to go home to eat another snack and then maybe dinner and dessert…..and another snack before bed. I had something funny to say about that, but completely forget what it was. So I guess I’ll just end this post now.



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