Here are some pictures of Courtney Cox Arquette at the beach doing beach things. I was talking to a spic girl the other day and I told her that I was scared of spic girls because I once saw a movie where the spic girlfriend was insanely intense and emotional. Bitch had no concept of reality and only cared about her man and whether he was wronging her or not. If he was out she’d accuse him of banging random sluts and that kind of passion scares the fuck out of me. Those are the bitches who kill you in your sleep. I told the spic I was talking to about my fear of her kind and she told me that she wasn’t like that. After talking to her for about 15 mins I found out that she had stabbed her ex bf for cheating on her and more recently she smashed in every window on a different motherfucker’s truck, but she’s not crazy like that at all.

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I remember this bitch from the 1988 SI Swimsuit Special. It was the 25 year VHS and you totally this bitche’s tits. You have to remember that in 1988, there was no internet, we were all less desensitized, I was 18 and seeing a model’s nipple gave me instant boners. I don’t know how many times I watched that fucking VHS, but she was definitely the prize of the show. Unfortunately, bitch had to go on and get old, pregnant and instead of seeing her nipples, we’re stuck watchin her ride a motherfucking bike with her STD. If I wanted domestic, I’d be hanging out with my useless wife, which I am not. Cuddles.

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So this bitch has a pretty shitty track record. She was with Hugh Grant when dude got got getting a blow job from a tranny, and I’ve seen her in the news over the last few years over her bastard baby and her billionaire baby daddy and all that typical bullshit, but she’s still got it going on, other than her fat arms.

I love single mothers because they are desperate. Most men see them as carrying a whole lot of baggage and stay as far away as they can, while all bitch wants is a normal family unit. This means bitches have low standards, are exhausted and let their guard down and are easy targets for one night stands. They are already damaged goods, misleading them to believe you love them wont even phase them. It’s like throwing a brick at an accidented car. That’s the story I heard.

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So this bitch has a pretty shitty track record. She was with Hugh Grant when dude got got getting a blow job from a tranny, and I’ve seen her in the news over the last few years over her bastard baby and her billionaire baby daddy and all that typical bullshit, but she’s still got it going on, other than her fat arms.

I love single mothers because they are desperate. Most men see them as carrying a whole lot of baggage and stay as far away as they can, while all bitch wants is a normal family unit. This means bitches have low standards, are exhausted and let their guard down and are easy targets for one night stands. They are already damaged goods, misleading them to believe you love them wont even phase them. It’s like throwing a brick at an accidented car. That’s the story I heard.

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I guess there’s no real argument that this is the best place to get celeb paparazzi pics, because you get to read my stories while looking at the pictures. All the other sites suck and the logic is that no one really cares about what the celebs are actually up to and who they are fucking. All we want is to see pictures of them fucking, in bikinis and living their useless lives. We want to talk about hookers, naked girls, drug addictions and impotency, or what I like to call, the issues that shape our lives. We are all self absorbed fuckers and the only ppl who care if Britney and K-Fed are getting a divorce are 15 year old girls, gay men (Trerez PinkSuit is the New Hilton) and housewives. I know I don’t care whether Keira Knightly has a PMS playlist, or if Lohan will be in Turks and Caicos for her birthday. That’s probably part of the reason why I am not jerking off to Ryan Phillippe’s abs. The point of all this is to say that you are a lucky 500 people to be a part of something this special and while other sites get their millions of visitors and 5 minutes of fame on VH1, we have each other. So you are all useless readers and I am never going to make money off this shit, meaning I am not chilling on the fucking beach, I may never see another fucking beach in my lifetime. I am okay with that. In honor of being in a one room shitty apartment that houses 4 people with no food in the fridge, no money in the bank, I give you a bunch of celebrities on the beach. In my shitty life, I don’t have to go to the beach, I got all these cunts doin it for me. Cuddles.

UMA THURMAN

TERI HATCHER

PAMELA ANDERSON

Bonus – What The Hell Is This Pam Anderson

More Beach….

JESSICA ALBA

COURTENEY COX-ARQUETTE

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Do you remember that stage in your life when you were ugly, and by ugly, I mean uglier than you are now and whenever you see the pictures you cringe and think to yourself “how the fuck did I let that happen”. I usually alway think that when I see any pictures of myself, but not because I get all teenage girl and hate the way I look, , but because I am usually covered in vomit and doing something embarassing, like exposing myself. I don’t plan on cleaning up, but by the looks of some old pictures of Nicole Richie in the fat years, it looks like she has. It’s funny that all people talk about is how much weight she lost and how skinny she is and how she needs a sandwich, “Somebody get her a sandwich”, but do these same cliche motherfuckers realize that before the weight loss, she was a fat pile of oreo cookie shit that even I wouldn’t go down on, and I have no standards. That’s the story I heard.

New Pics Of Nicole

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I once offered a homeless girl 150 dollars to come back to my place and let me handcuff her to the toilet bowl and lick the seat while I took a pee. She didn’t take me up on the offer. I am pretty sure that homeless girl is now Keira Knightly, the flat chested slag in the Pirate Movies. I could be wrong, it’s happened before.

Here are some older pics of her, from when she was first launching her career. It’s all part of July 4th “This is your Life” series that I just made up.

New Pics of Keira Knightly

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I once knew a girl who had such a passion for life that she was committed to experiencing everything she possibly could to live her life to the fullest. This meant she was the first to introduce the group to new drugs, new sex acts and for awhile to visits to the abortion clinic, because she wanted to know how many abortions were considered too many. These pictures of Janice Dickenson remind me of that girl, only she is the drag queen version.

New Pics of Janice

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I am cleaning out my closet, and by closet I mean hard drive and felt like posting old pictures of useless people to remember our past on this 4th of July. That was my attempt at having some level of philiosphical insight into the world, and that attempt was a failure. I am used to failure, something that we hope Nelly will get used to when she realizes that no one wants to watch a single mother sing about being a premiscuous whore. This is America and we like the nuclear family, happy households and we look down on single mothers, teenage mothers, and ethnic people. I just ate too many blueberries because they are good for my prostate and my stomach hurts, much like Nelly’s vadge right after her little portuguese cod fell from her womb.

New Pics of Nelly “The Cod Fisherman” Furtado

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There was once a time when Paris Hilton wasn’t everywhere I looked. It was a time before the sex tape and before she knew how to market her useless self. I have had discussions with people about Paris Hilton’s business sense, because I don’t have much of a personality and I am not a major conversationalist, and the conclusion was always that kinda blurry because I tend to not listen to useless conversation, even when I am involved in them. Last night I witnessed a drunk/psycho driver near my office. Dude drove through an intersection, crossed 4 lanes of traffic, smashed into parked cars, reversed, fled the scene of the accident, flew through another interesection and ended up in someone’s house/front yard. I hope Paris Hilton’s career has that kind of accident soon.

New Pics of Paris

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