I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

21

Jun

I am – Jessica Simpson Fakes Nipple of the Day

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Some dude named Slomo (for obvious reasons) sent in these pics of Jessica Simpson. I am 99% sure that isn’t her real nipple, but figured I’d post it anyway, because I really don’t get many emails and I feel that finally getting one warrants a post. Point of the story is I like the way Jessica Simpson handles the microphone. I read somewhere that it was a trick daddy taught her back when they were poor Baptists, so poor that they’d use his dick as the “microphone”, but only when mommy was out getting groceries.

Speaking of mic control, I used to be a Karaoke. I was usually shit wasted and could barely stand but always felt like Women in Songs 10 – The Forgotten Years, everytime I got on stage. My song of choice was I think we’re alone now by Tiffany….now children behave…then go fuck yourselves. I hate all of you for not making this site more popular.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

20

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

I almost had an ad deal closed today, but then the dude emailed me back telling me to forget it and that he wasn’t going to go through with it. This has been the story of the site, people are scared to advertise because I post to tits, I say stupid shit, and they don’t want to get their conservative asses in trouble by their conservative companies so it’s better to just tell this homeless looking obese man in Canada to fuck off than to take a risk and support some next level shit….I agreed to give him a test plug to see how well the site performs prior to his turning his back on me. I am a man of my word so here is the link. Click this shit as much as you can, blow up their fucking servers if you can just to let them know they made a mistake and I don’t want their fucking money anymore.

This slut’s Name is Alisha and She Is Showing Off Her Ass….
GO

Some girls named “Hairy Man” added me to IM today. She told me her name was to deter perverts like me and asked if I thought there was a market for amputee porn paintings she’s been making….I told her that I knew she was a hairy man jerking off while typing to me and that I wanted nothing to do with her/him…but if she/he wanted to send me any stump porn I’d be down, cuz I am experimental like that….If I get pics or a myspace, proving she’s a hot amputee porn producer, you’ll be the first to know…

Here are the links for the day….

This is a Video Called Vaccuum Sex….Pretty Obvious what to expect. Pervert
GO

Jaime Hammer’s Tit’s Hanging Out All Over the Fucking Place
GO

This Office Molester is Fucking Amazing
GO

Boob Tassel Olympics
GO

Hot Wedding Pics for you To Remind Yourself that Marriage Sucks
GO GO

Some Marilyn Monroe Nude Pics
GO

Naked Amateurs Make me Happy Somethimes
GO

SOme Nasty Next Door Nikki Retarded Big Tit Video
GO

Rhona Mitra Topless
GO

Australia Big Brother In Zoo Magazine Looking Good Enough To Get Locked in a House With
GO

Some Behind the Scenes Nude Photoshoot Pics
GO

Some Crazy Indian Music
GO

College Tits are Starting to Bore the Fuck Out of Me
GO

This video is called “don’t watch porn on this TV”
GO

Christina Milian Looks Good Enough for an Immigrant
GO

Christina Aguilera Spends Her Sunday’s Naked
GO

The Andy Dick On Kimmel Clip 5 Days Later
GO

Some Chick Named Luisanan Lopilato Pics
GO

Some Massive Boobs on some girl in Green cuz It’s St Patrick’s Day Everyday Where She’s From
GO

Tatu – Sexy in Para Hombres Magazine…Check it Out at the Local Magazine Stand You Fucking Immigrant…Welcome to the Club….
GO

Some Skipping Rope Action
GO

Intensely Gay Skip Rope Performance
GO

Weak Lohan Camel Toe…Everyone Know’s She’s Got A Dick
GO

Severed Head in a Pot Prank That Sucks…
GO

Hlly Valence is a Chick I’ve Never Heard of But you Probably Have
GO

The Old He Bit My Vagina Video
GO

Some More Rope Skipping Action
GO

I used to babysit Donna Feldman, I’m Glad She Turned into a Slut
GO

Jamie Lynn Sigler is Jewish and In Arena Mag…
GO

New 9/11 Footage..The Player is Fucking Retarded SO You Can’t Pause It or Anything… I may have no soul but innocent people dying makes me sad…
GO

Funny Asian Skipping Rope…
GO

Skipping Rope in a Bikini
GO

More Bikini Girls Jumping Rope
GO

Some Girl Named Heather Vandeven Pictures
GO

Some Weight Loss Diary
GO

Sexy Asian Body Wash Video
GO

More Paris Exposed Videos From Last Week But Worth Watching
GO

60’s Spanish Sexy Video
GO

Photobucket Bikini
GO

Girls with Pot leaves aren’t cool
GO

This dude’s Got an Intense Fucking Myspace, I’m Talking Videos of Teen Girl’s Orgasming and Shit….
GO

Mark CobraSnake Gets Slutty Girls To Make Out for Him and These Girls are So Fucking Lame
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Young Girls Booty Shaking
GO

Dirty Shower Video
GO

Some Cam Girl Named Colleen Shannon
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

20

Jun

I am – The MMVA Picture Thread of the Day

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I know that no one cares about Canada and that no one cares about Award Shows so based on my backwards logic, all of you care about award shows in Canada. These motherfuckers rejected my application for press access because they are racist fucking cunts.(READ MMVA REJECTION POST).

The motherfuckers had Perez and Paris Hilton up here, they also had the gardener from Desperate Housewives and Fall Out Boy, everyone’s favorite fat guitarist. A real fucking success if you ask me, which technically you did if you are reading this. Don’t worry, I hate you too….

This is the event I was not allowed into…





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2006

20

Jun

I am – The Dude Outside a Strip Club of the Day

There are a lot of strip clubs in Montreal. I have been to most of them. I have had lap dances in most of them. I have grabbed tits and ass and fallen in love in most of them. I have yet to get blowjobs or vagina sex in them, because that costs 100 dollars that I don’t have that kind of money, because you cunts don’t tell your friends about this site.

This is a video of the dude outside the strip club who tries to lure in men off the street. I applied for the job a few times, but was turned down for my weight. I felt like a teenage girl trying to get a modeling contract. That’s the story I heard.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

20

Jun

I am – Melissa Joan Hart’s Dirty Fetus of the Day

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I was trying to pick up a girl once and I am socially awkward. I told her she better save up her money from working to pay for all the abortions I planned on giving her. When she gave me a look of disgust I told her that she could always bring the baby to term, destroy her body, mainly her vagina, making my chiuaua in the penis world of a cock obselete, but i’d be more than happy to support her and the baby, if the baby’s life consisted of a short walk to the dumpster, if you know what I mean. I wanna role like the prom queen no one knew was pregnant….

Point of the story is that I wish Melissa Joan Hart took some action before getting her useless womb cum covered. Just think, about a year ago this motherfucker coulda ended up in the vaccuum cleaner…

I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on the kid, it’s not it’s fault it’s mother is a useless whore. See that was my soft side, now let’s cuddle.

Bonus Picture for the Babyfuckers Who Read this Site:

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

20

Jun

I am – Melissa Joan Hart's Dirty Fetus of the Day

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I was trying to pick up a girl once and I am socially awkward. I told her she better save up her money from working to pay for all the abortions I planned on giving her. When she gave me a look of disgust I told her that she could always bring the baby to term, destroy her body, mainly her vagina, making my chiuaua in the penis world of a cock obselete, but i’d be more than happy to support her and the baby, if the baby’s life consisted of a short walk to the dumpster, if you know what I mean. I wanna role like the prom queen no one knew was pregnant….

Point of the story is that I wish Melissa Joan Hart took some action before getting her useless womb cum covered. Just think, about a year ago this motherfucker coulda ended up in the vaccuum cleaner…

I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on the kid, it’s not it’s fault it’s mother is a useless whore. See that was my soft side, now let’s cuddle.

Bonus Picture for the Babyfuckers Who Read this Site:

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

20

Jun

I am – Tori Spelling is a Cunt of the Day

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The funny thing about rich sluts with a botched tit job is that they always get what they want, even if that thing is someone else’s husband. Tori Spelling’s career was short lived. As a 15 year old neglected daughter of Aaron Spelling, the biggest thing in TV Production, he has the longest IMDB I have ever had in me. But point of the story is that most rich dad’s buy their daughters ponies, this rich dad gave his daughter a part on his show…..his whiney “just got her period” slut of a daughter begged daddy to let her be on the show and since motherfucker already had all the money in the world and pretty much owned your TV, he decided to give her a role. It was easier than actually having to parent her. This way she’d shut the fuck up at home and instead of being a pain in the ass at home, she’d annoy the rest of the fucking country on TV.

As any 25 year old who has jerked off to her gaping breast implants back in 1992, when breast implants weren’t really on TV, knows, she homewrecked some Canadian actor from some shitty Canadian show by seducing him with her diamond coated cunt, he knocked her up and shotgun married her. He made the right decision, because let’s face it, his ex-wife doesn’t have a rich father who’s scheduled to die anytime now. It’s a solid retirement plan for someone who’s acting career is going nowhere.

This post wasn’t funny, but it’s fucking Tori Spelling, what the hell do you expect me to say. Now go fuck yourself.



Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Jun

I am – Micha Barton is a Useless Slut of the Day

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Today’s lesson is that Lesbians like scooters and office supplies. I was sitting outside an office supply store and I saw at least 2 lesbians ride in on scooter in tandem. One guarded the helmets, when the other one went inside to buy what I can only assume were SEX AIDS, not the disease but the tool that would replace the penis in lesbian sex. I am talking staplers, markers, white boards or maybe even a wireless mouse. Fucking sluts.

Speaking of sluts, here are some pics of Micha Barton rockin’ the Jewish Outfit of the Day, while pretty much banging her boyfriend CISCO ADLER in public. I can never live down the shame of the first time I jerked off to this bitch. It was a couple years ago from her role in The Sixth Sense, and it was a time I coincidently had a thing for poisoned 14 year old corpses under the bed. Yes that just gets me damp in my pants.


Here’s some pics of Lima rockin’ the Jewish Outfit of the Day to make up for the ugly piece of shit that is Micha….



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2006

19

Jun

I am – Lohan Stalker Post of the Day

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My word of wisdom for the day is that if you dress the kitchen garbage in a Chanel Dress, it’s still kitchen garbage. That came to me while watching that cunt Paris Hilton’s new music video last night, obviously written before her sex tape cuz she drops a line like “I’ll show you mine if you’re lucky” or some shit….(I guess I shouldn’t have used quotation marks on that one). I am pretty sure any of the cock she’s landing has already seen her useless sex tape, but that’s not the point. The point is that I am still stalking Lohan and I haven’t heard back from any of the people I have been emailing. I am number 1 google result for Lohan Stalker. Now the only thiong that will stop me is the law.

Today, I emailed Bruce Willis…

Dear Bruce,

While reading the gossip pages last week, I learnt that you recently left Lohan a message about how gorgeous you think she is. I know that prior to this message you have spent a night with her in your hotel room on at least one occasion.

I want you to know that I am not mad at you for running after my girlfriend, mainly because I have never met you, but also, Lohan doesn’t really know that she is involved with me because we have yet to meet. I can however, state with confidence, that I know it’s destiny and that we are connected at the soul.

The reason I am emailing you is because I want to ask you a favor. The next time you bang her, or have her in your mouth, can you please think about me and possibly whisper my name in her ear.

It is really only fair, considering I have already “cum hard with a vengeance” while making love to Lohan Bikini Pics of the day while reruns of Moonlighting were on in the other room….

I guess that technically means we’ve already had a threesome, and it was probably the best sex I have ever had, I’d like to thank you for being a part of it and hope we can do it again, only next time while double penetrating the real LOHAN. I’ll let you give me a high five, but no lookin’ at my dick. Homo.

If you’d rather I tell Lohan about my deep rooted love for her, please feel free to give me her phone number/email address.

Thanks for your time,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

I never said they’d all be funny, asshole. This is about love not comedy. Cuddles.

Last Week Lohan:

DJing:


Lunching:



Walking:

Lohan Seventeen Magazine Shoot (shit quality)



Previous Stalking on Stepfather:

Lohan Stalker Post 13
Lohan Stalker Post 12
Lohan Stalker Post 11
Lohan Stalker Post 10
Lohan Stalker Post 9
Lohan Stalker Post 8
Lohan Stalker Post 7
Lohan Stalker Post 6
Lohan Stalker Post 5
Lohan Stalker Post 4
Lohan Stalker Post 3
Lohan Stalker Post 2
Lohan Stalker Post 1

Posted in:stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2006

19

Jun

I am – Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Oral

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I am the first to admit I am a lazy fuck. I get unmotivated cuz this shit doesn’t make me money, I get constant hate mail and it’s summer. I have been hanging out at Starbucks seducing 15 year old girls in grade 10. Their dad’s are rich, so I figure if I knock them up, I’ll be set for life and 14 is legal.

I turned on my one channel to see Regis and Kelly hosting a wedding. I always found the talk show weddings tacky as shit, and I am not a very classy person, so that means they are bad. The groom’s always some Army dude rockin’ his bullshit uniform, because I guess he’s proud to be American or some shit. Deep down inside, he’s probably kicking himself for dropping out of highschool, because as killing Arabs for his country may be, there’s a big chance of him coming back without a leg or in a coffin….Point of the story is, what happened to only caring about ourselves? What’s with all this national pride? Fuck the Army, get a job at Wal Mart, everyone else is doing it.

Unfortunately, not everyone else is getting eating out in public like our favorite Scandanavian set of fake tits, because if they were, I’d never stop masturbating.

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