She had implants when she was slammin’ that fat kid from the TV show the Osbornes. Then she had them removed. Now she has cleavage. That is the story of Kimberly Stewart’s tits.

I have stories of other sets of tits if you are interested, but you will have to keep coming back to this site to hear them. Tell your friends.

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I love how Madonna doesn’t realize she’s washed up because she still sells out shows. She is also a gay man cliche. I heard that you aren’t allowed to suck another man’s dick unless you are down with Madonna. It’s something fags are taught while learning how to speak with a lisp, while styling hair and dancing.

It’s not something fags learn while getting molested by their school teacher, baseball coach or whoever else taught them the HOMO way. But something they learn while doing crystal meth and E and barebacking with other molested dudes.

I guess the irony of this post is that Madonna’s rockin a Juicy track suit, while her menopausal pussy isn’t really all that Juicy….that’s like me wearing a shirt that says “SLIM”.

Cuddles.

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I love how Madonna doesn’t realize she’s washed up because she still sells out shows. She is also a gay man cliche. I heard that you aren’t allowed to suck another man’s dick unless you are down with Madonna. It’s something fags are taught while learning how to speak with a lisp, while styling hair and dancing.

It’s not something fags learn while getting molested by their school teacher, baseball coach or whoever else taught them the HOMO way. But something they learn while doing crystal meth and E and barebacking with other molested dudes.

I guess the irony of this post is that Madonna’s rockin a Juicy track suit, while her menopausal pussy isn’t really all that Juicy….that’s like me wearing a shirt that says “SLIM”.

Cuddles.

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I have destroyed my sperm and there’s really almost no chance of having a baby but if it did happen, the motherfucker would be a retard, like X-Tina’s brother.

The reason I would want to have a retard for a kid is simple. They are easy to entertian. It wouldn’t need expensive videogame systems or designer clothes. I could wrap the motherfucker up in Christmas wrapping paper that I got on sale at the dollar store in March, and it wouldn’t know the difference. I could give the little fucker two rocks to bang together and tell him it’s a Nintendo. I could take the retard to Wal Mart and tell it that he’s at DisneyWorld. It would be the easiest thing to fuck with and I’d take him everywhere, cuz walking around with a retard makes you look like a nice guy. Being a nice guy, gets you back alley blowjobs.

Point of the story is that X-Tina’s brother looks like a retard, as he’s walking around with a medal. I always get nervous when I post pictures of little boys. I am sure you can understand why.

Bonus – X-Tina at the Entertianment Weekly Party Last Week

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I have destroyed my sperm and there’s really almost no chance of having a baby but if it did happen, the motherfucker would be a retard, like X-Tina’s brother.

The reason I would want to have a retard for a kid is simple. They are easy to entertian. It wouldn’t need expensive videogame systems or designer clothes. I could wrap the motherfucker up in Christmas wrapping paper that I got on sale at the dollar store in March, and it wouldn’t know the difference. I could give the little fucker two rocks to bang together and tell him it’s a Nintendo. I could take the retard to Wal Mart and tell it that he’s at DisneyWorld. It would be the easiest thing to fuck with and I’d take him everywhere, cuz walking around with a retard makes you look like a nice guy. Being a nice guy, gets you back alley blowjobs.

Point of the story is that X-Tina’s brother looks like a retard, as he’s walking around with a medal. I always get nervous when I post pictures of little boys. I am sure you can understand why.

Bonus – X-Tina at the Entertianment Weekly Party Last Week

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I try to stay sober when I know I have a performance to make, because let’s face it, everytime I write on this piece of shit site, I feel like a dancing monkey.

I originally started writing this post the other night while I was wasted, right before passing out. I woke up to this on the screen:

Let’s make some Pam Anderson AIDS jokes. Bitch is not a whore, she’s patient zero. She’s not here to make you cum, but she is here to say that everyday is AIDS DAY for her cooter. You would probably still fuck her without a condom, because that’s just the type of reader I attract. I don’t know if my heart is still beating, but I do know I have one eye shut as I type this, so that I can see the screen. I am trying to pretend I am sober and all the words make sense right now.

I have decided that my drinking is bad for business, but sober or wasted, I still think Pam Anderson is the dirtiest piece of ass Canada has ever produced. Even dirtier than Lara Roxx (and she bangs black people), that’s the story I heard.

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Remember this feature…set it up hoping you cunts would post comments. You didn’t, letting me down again. I liked this comment enough to make it the comment of the week. The prize is a USED VIBRATOR some bitch sent me a few months ago. It still has flakes of cooter juice dried on it.

Longoria’s purple outfit is a wee bit much. I would love to see her without the shades. This much I’ll say…”She has pretty feet!” Alfred Kuchinski (Lithuanian NOT Polish!)

I love how he made of point of saying he is not Polish. Is being Lithuanian really that much better?

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The beginning of the week I wrote a post stating Aaron Spelling was ready to die anytime now.

The following day, I found out he had a stroke.

Today, I found out he died.

I feel like I killed him.

TV Producer Aaron Spelling Dies at 83

Aaron Spelling, a onetime movie bit player who turned to television production and created a massive number of hit series, from the vintage “Charlie’s Angels” and “Dynasty” to “Beverly Hills 90210” and “Melrose Place,” died Friday, his publicist said. He was 83.

Spelling died at his home in Los Angeles after suffering a stroke on June 18, according to publicist Kevin Sasaki.

Spelling’s other hit series included “Love Boat,” “Fantasy Island,” “Burke’s Law,” “The Mod Squad,” “Starsky and Hutch,” “T.J. Hooker,” “Matt Houston,” “Hart to Hart” and “Hotel.” He kept his hand in 21st-century TV with series including “7th Heaven” and “Summerland.”

He also produced more than 140 television movies. Among the most notable: “Death Sentence” (1974), Nick Nolte’s first starring role; “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble” (1976), John Travolta’s first dramatic role; “The Best Little Girl in the World” (1981), which starred Jennifer Jason Leigh.

During the 1970s and 1980s, Spelling provided series and movies exclusively for ABC and is credited for the network’s rise to major status. Jokesters referred to it as “The Aaron Broadcasting Company.”

I’d like to apologize for killing you, but I guess apologizing to you is useless since you’re dead. In fact you should be apologizing to the world for producing that cunt of a daughter. I love that they focus on all his success and over-look his one major fucking failure that I call “The Virgin from 90210”.

I don’t understand why you couldn’t have died proper, like by driving off a cliff with Tori in the front seat right next to you, but I guess they wouldn’t let you drive after last week’s stroke…Congrats goes out to her new husband who we all laughed at for stickin his dick in that used tampon of a box, but now he’s got the last laugh for striking it rich, pretty much overnight. Cummin inside a bitch has never been so profitable.

I am just being a “Jokester” but instead of referring to ABC as “The Aaron Broadcasting Company, I do what I just did. Cuddles.

Bonus:

Check out the Google Maps of the House he DIED in

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The beginning of the week I wrote a post stating Aaron Spelling was ready to die anytime now.

The following day, I found out he had a stroke.

Today, I found out he died.

I feel like I killed him.

TV Producer Aaron Spelling Dies at 83

Aaron Spelling, a onetime movie bit player who turned to television production and created a massive number of hit series, from the vintage “Charlie’s Angels” and “Dynasty” to “Beverly Hills 90210” and “Melrose Place,” died Friday, his publicist said. He was 83.

Spelling died at his home in Los Angeles after suffering a stroke on June 18, according to publicist Kevin Sasaki.

Spelling’s other hit series included “Love Boat,” “Fantasy Island,” “Burke’s Law,” “The Mod Squad,” “Starsky and Hutch,” “T.J. Hooker,” “Matt Houston,” “Hart to Hart” and “Hotel.” He kept his hand in 21st-century TV with series including “7th Heaven” and “Summerland.”

He also produced more than 140 television movies. Among the most notable: “Death Sentence” (1974), Nick Nolte’s first starring role; “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble” (1976), John Travolta’s first dramatic role; “The Best Little Girl in the World” (1981), which starred Jennifer Jason Leigh.

During the 1970s and 1980s, Spelling provided series and movies exclusively for ABC and is credited for the network’s rise to major status. Jokesters referred to it as “The Aaron Broadcasting Company.”

I’d like to apologize for killing you, but I guess apologizing to you is useless since you’re dead. In fact you should be apologizing to the world for producing that cunt of a daughter. I love that they focus on all his success and over-look his one major fucking failure that I call “The Virgin from 90210”.

I don’t understand why you couldn’t have died proper, like by driving off a cliff with Tori in the front seat right next to you, but I guess they wouldn’t let you drive after last week’s stroke…Congrats goes out to her new husband who we all laughed at for stickin his dick in that used tampon of a box, but now he’s got the last laugh for striking it rich, pretty much overnight. Cummin inside a bitch has never been so profitable.

I am just being a “Jokester” but instead of referring to ABC as “The Aaron Broadcasting Company, I do what I just did. Cuddles.

Bonus:

Check out the Google Maps of the House he DIED in

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