2006
23
Jun
The difference between today’s kids and kids of the 1950’s is that they’re comparing their mother’s addictions in the playground, instead of playing with Barbie’s.
All the little girls from the ghetto who have mom’s hooked on crack look up to this brat mini-moss, cuz her mom is hooked on cocaine (the designer drug).
It’s a whole class system based on substance. Tell your friends.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
23
Jun
The difference between today’s kids and kids of the 1950’s is that they’re comparing their mother’s addictions in the playground, instead of playing with Barbie’s.
All the little girls from the ghetto who have mom’s hooked on crack look up to this brat mini-moss, cuz her mom is hooked on cocaine (the designer drug).
It’s a whole class system based on substance. Tell your friends.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
23
Jun
While sitting at home alone, running off only a couple hours of sleep after a bit of a bender, but not really, becaue I am a cheap drunk now that my liver doesn’t work so well, either way, I sit here in an empty one room apartment, because the girls are our with their friends and the wife figured a way to fit her fat ass out the front door to get her blood pressure medication. I can’t help but wonder what it’s like to be the guy who ruined Britney Spears. Before you, she had a career, a life, fans and looks. After you, she looks like an aborted fetus would if it survived…you know if it fed off the other aborted fetus’ in the dumpster out back at the back alley abortion clinic.
I am not sure where I am going with this, but it’s not a good place. Tell your friends.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
23
Jun
The issue isn’t that Jojo is 15 and you are looking at her tits, because let’s face it, you like tits. The issue is not that the magazine sexed this bitch up or that her “people” are trying to sex up her image to sell records, because that’s just what they do. The issue is that this bitch has a face that makes me think that she was born out of her mother’s rectum, not womb. I don’t know if that came across the way I wanted to because I still haven’t slept yet. The fuckin wife smells like an out-house.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
23
Jun
I have heard stories about his bitch. Those stories were about how much of a coked out party slut she is. I have decided that I am jealous of coked out party sluts because whenever I party hard enough to be considered a coked out party slut, I feel my heart giving out. My heart sucks.
Sienna Miller is also involved in being the biggest scandal in TV since the dad in happy days slammed Urkel up the ass. I don’t know what that means but I am keeping it in this post because I wrote it a few hours ago while wasted and after re-reading it, have no idea where I was going with it.
It is 7:30 AM and nothing exciting is going on. My cunt of a wife kept me up with this gurgling sound she makes when breathing. I am convinced that her lungs are filling up with cookie dough ice cream, but I am no expert.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
23
Jun
I have heard stories about his bitch. Those stories were about how much of a coked out party slut she is. I have decided that I am jealous of coked out party sluts because whenever I party hard enough to be considered a coked out party slut, I feel my heart giving out. My heart sucks.
Sienna Miller is also involved in being the biggest scandal in TV since the dad in happy days slammed Urkel up the ass. I don’t know what that means but I am keeping it in this post because I wrote it a few hours ago while wasted and after re-reading it, have no idea where I was going with it.
It is 7:30 AM and nothing exciting is going on. My cunt of a wife kept me up with this gurgling sound she makes when breathing. I am convinced that her lungs are filling up with cookie dough ice cream, but I am no expert.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
23
Jun
I can’t really stop this Lohan Stalker movement. I guess this is the reason I was never invited to parties when I was younger. I emailed Diddy, I won’t make his email address public, but if you want it email me. Here we go:
Dear Diddy,
I don’t know whether you know who I am or not, but I do know who you are. I read somewhere that you kicked Lohan out of your party for fighting with that cunt Paris Hilton. I call her “that cunt”, because not only is she a vile and rude used-condom of a person, but also because “that cunt’s” seen a whole lot more penis than the urinal at my local truck stop.
I’d still bang Paris without a condom after she got her HIV positive results, but that’s just a strategic business decision…..
I should be mad at you for the way you handled Lohan the other night because I am connected to Lohan at the soul. But the fact is that bitch doesn’t know I exist, and has NEVER reached out to me, not even to ask me to stop stalking her.
What I am asking of you is simple, lure Lohan into your hotel room, pretend it’s some kind of apology meeting. Get her to get naked, take a couple of pictures, steal a pair of her panties, fuck her if you want, whisper my name in her ear and when it’s all said and done, send her on her way. Go through the trash, pick up all things she touched, including (especially) used kleenex/toilet paper and wine glasses she’s drinked out of. Put it all in a box (along with the pics) and mail it up to me for masturbation purposes.
If this seems too complicated, you could always just give me her number/email/ home address but be sure to let her know that Jesus Martinez is stalking her.
I know her birthday is coming up, is there anyway you can get me in that party?
I appreciate all your help and look forward to your response, if you’re up in Montreal this weekend for the Race Cars, feel free to take me out for dinner/drinks to further discuss my proposal.
With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com
Posted in:stepSTALKER|Unsorted
2006
23
Jun
Whenever I post on Nelly Furtado, I always want to rip into her for being Portuguese, but it’s not her fault she’s low class fisherman shit, it’s kind of a cultural thing, and if my culture was built on cod fish, I would stand proud at every motherfucker who makes fishing jokes around me.
What I do hate about this cunt, besides her busted up face and busted up body, and busted up music, and her inate ability to bait a hook (although convenient, not very lady-like), is that she is taking on Hip Hop now. Bitch is biting that cunt Fergie, who was a bigger piece of trash, until seeing the video with Nelly singing about being a slut. I guess she know’s all about being a slut, considering she’s got a fresh baby of her own, her vadge hasn’t even healed yet, and in order to get pregnant, must raw dog a cock and let that shit cum in your Uterus….just in case some of you still think the stork still drops babies off at the door because you are virgins….We’ve gone through this before. Cuddles.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
23
Jun
There was a huge media blitz about this Madonna concert, it was some kind of big deal that she was making a stop in Montreal. I didn’t go, mainly because I am straight and because I am broke but also because I don’t like washed up whores, unless they are really desperate to make a couple bucks. I usually take advantage of the situation because I am a bit of an opportunist when it comes to whores and I get off on seeing much I can get for as little as possible. The best I have done is a rim job after a 6 day bout with the stomach flu and no shower.
This isn’t about rim jobs, it’s about the fact that Madonna kicked off the craziest weekend in this city, Grand Prix (that’s race cars). Celebrities come for that shit and I am hoping some of my readers are out there with cameras getting me some exclusives.
So far, all I have heard is that Malcolm in the Middle was at some supper club last night, all the slammin local bitches were trying to get a piece, while he looked his awkward, nervous self. It’s funny how much girls love getting celebrity cock. If a dude looked like THIS, uneven legs and all, but was on TV, he’d still land pussy. And they say not all girls are whores……
That’s the story I heard. Here are pics of Madonna’s useless concert. A little bondage never hurt anyone, except that dude from inxs who died jerking off with a belt around his neck, but that wasn’t really bondage, that was in the name of self love.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
21
Jun
I am doing this one for all potential advertisers visiting this site today. I read somewhere that all the big brands love to advertise on sites that show pictures of cunt.
This is some bitch from Big Brother UK having a full out vagina slip. Her name is Nikki Grahame and here’s her bio.
Nikki Grahame is a 24-year-old model and promo girl, who worked in Harlequin Shopping Centre for two years.
Before she went on Big Brother Nikki said that her ambition was to marry a Premiership footballer and that she is ‘man mad’ and ‘obsessed with men’. In the first week she did tell Big Brother, however, that she did not fancy anyone in the house.
I think we all have a pretty good idea what kind of girl this is (she had no father growing up) and I have got nothing more to say about this.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
