Today’s Fetish of the Day is Belly Button Fetish. This is where dudes get off to a girl’s belly button, whether it’s from licking it or watching the bitch play with it. This fetish is not my fetish, and I actually find it fucking gross. That is probably because I have smelled my own belly button before and it wasn’t the hottest of smells. But it was very vaginal…..I guess the thing with fetishes is that they are weird, and not everyone understands them, but just cuz you and a couple like minded ppl you found on the internet think it’s okay to diddle a belly button or jerk off to videos of another dude diddling a belly button, doesn’t mean it is. The scary thing about all this is that the man in the mask could be your dad, husband, teacher or the guy who works at the bank you got your mortgage at….

I wrote this October 2005 and it made me laugh cuz I am a genius….

…I am more into the puberty years where I make girls dress up like a school girls, cheerleaders and Lohan. I sign their permission slips and report cards and I attend their PTA meetings. I teach them the inner working of sex and they teach me the latest dance moves. Fuck dressing like a baby it’s all about being with someone pretending to to be old enough to be your baby.

I just quoted myself. That was really fucking lame. But it just happened and you witnessed it.

To see a collection of Belly Button Fetish Video Clips – Click THIS Link!

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This is a picture I took while walking down the street drunk. I have no idea who the girls are but I do know that I told them I would make them famous and they yelled mean things back at me. I accidently only took the shot of their tits which is probably better for all of us, because they are probably really fucking ugly and we don’t need an ugly face to ruin a solid set of tits.

This is an Email I woke up to this afternoon. I am telling you that this shit works. Whenever I wear it the girls I meet either LOVE ME or HATE ME instead of ignore me.

Hi Jesus, you can post my message on your site, but please keep this shit anonymous:

That Pherlure cologne thing kinda worked for me. I’ve been on a pussy dry spell since I dumped my GF a few weeks ago. I had gone to a few clubs with no success. I’d try to hit on some girls, but it seems I had lost my touch from having been in a steady relationship for so long.

Then yesterday I went out with my friends, I had put on like one spray before leaving home, just to test it. I dunno if it was the confidence boost, or if the thing really works, but I danced and made out with 3 girls that night. I didn’t get laid but I have 2 phone numbers in my pocket this morning.

I’m probably gonna try it again tonight, I’ll keep you posted if anyone cares. I don’t have a camera, so forget about pictures. Anyways they don’t prove anything.

Call me L.

If you want involved Click This Link and get involved….

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I’ve seen a lot of pics of Paris. I have also seen her movie over and over and over and over again, not because I like her, but because she’s a bad fuck and I found comfort knowing that someone who seemingly has everything in life, from nice cars to nice houses, rich lovers to international fame and a even a videogame…still have their flaws….in her case it’s not being able to fuck properly.

It also goes to prove that just because a bitch fucks a lot doesn’t mean she’s any good at it. You’d think that hiring a whore, or dating a girl who’s banged 100s of dudes will rock you like no other, but they are usually bad. Firstly they are jaded cuz they’ve had so much cock, secondly they are numb in their huge cunts because they have had so much cock and thirdly they probably fucked the 100s of dudes because they have self-hatred issues (thanks Oprah), they did that shit to feel accepted and worth something, so sex for them is some fucked up psychological shit, proving that they don’t like the act of sex, they like the thought of being wanted, and last time I checked thoughts the bitch I was banging had didn’t make me cum any harder.

Point of the story is that Paris Hilton despite her flaws still smiles while Nicky is always so miserable…I wonder why that is? (that was a rhetorical question, I don’t actually want emails about this)

Bonus: Matt Leinart (a football player) Leaving Paris’ House this Morning…Meaning They Had Sex and he now has an STD.

Another Bonus: Paris in Lingerie, You can see her cunt definition..the same cunt that gave Matt Leinart (a football player) an STD.

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No one talks about Cameron Diaz anymore. So I am not going to either. Because I hate this cunt more than I hate myself, and according to Oprah, that’s a lot. I am going to talk about her mom and the fact that her teeth are fucking retarded. You would think that her cunt of a daughter would have the decency to buy her a new set of teeth. I watch Extreme Makeover, or watched it when I could afford cable, and I have seen the wonders they can do to a set of teeth. I know Cameron is pretty useless, but that Charlie Angel’s shit had to have made her enough coin to afford the procedure. I am not an authority on dental hygiene, I have gone months without brushing, I have gone years without seeing a dentist, I have chewed on pieced on pebbles just to see what happens. I also had a bit of a Meth problem a few years ago and that shit rots out teeth…so this mouth is one that you’d probably avoid if you saw it walking down the street, a lot like Cameron Diaz’s moms’, and by Cameron Diaz’s Mom I mean Toni Collette.

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No one talks about Cameron Diaz anymore. So I am not going to either. Because I hate this cunt more than I hate myself, and according to Oprah, that’s a lot. I am going to talk about her mom and the fact that her teeth are fucking retarded. You would think that her cunt of a daughter would have the decency to buy her a new set of teeth. I watch Extreme Makeover, or watched it when I could afford cable, and I have seen the wonders they can do to a set of teeth. I know Cameron is pretty useless, but that Charlie Angel’s shit had to have made her enough coin to afford the procedure. I am not an authority on dental hygiene, I have gone months without brushing, I have gone years without seeing a dentist, I have chewed on pieced on pebbles just to see what happens. I also had a bit of a Meth problem a few years ago and that shit rots out teeth…so this mouth is one that you’d probably avoid if you saw it walking down the street, a lot like Cameron Diaz’s moms’, and by Cameron Diaz’s Mom I mean Toni Collette.

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And by AIDS I mean Myspace, because I have never met her, so I can’t be sure if she stinks of AIDS or just dirty hipster. She’s the girl that was a washed up model by the time she was 18, she was naked in Bully when she was 21 and was rockin’ a solid bush. She dated fellow loser kid of a musician….Sean Lennon. I remember a couple of years ago she was dominating the coked out dirty hipster scene in NYC… I wasn’t there to take part in it because I don’t have a trust fund, acting career, modelling career or style. I have posted her tits before, if you want to see them just do a google image search. In the meantime add her and her current boyfriend to myspace. This was a weak fuckin’ post, but it’s Friday, so Fuck You.

Bonus:

Visit Bijou Phillips on Myspace by Clicking THIS Link

Bonus Number 2:

Visit Danny Masterson on Myspace by Clicking THIS Link

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And by AIDS I mean Myspace, because I have never met her, so I can’t be sure if she stinks of AIDS or just dirty hipster. She’s the girl that was a washed up model by the time she was 18, she was naked in Bully when she was 21 and was rockin’ a solid bush. She dated fellow loser kid of a musician….Sean Lennon. I remember a couple of years ago she was dominating the coked out dirty hipster scene in NYC… I wasn’t there to take part in it because I don’t have a trust fund, acting career, modelling career or style. I have posted her tits before, if you want to see them just do a google image search. In the meantime add her and her current boyfriend to myspace. This was a weak fuckin’ post, but it’s Friday, so Fuck You.

Bonus:

Visit Bijou Phillips on Myspace by Clicking THIS Link

Bonus Number 2:

Visit Danny Masterson on Myspace by Clicking THIS Link

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I think Victoria’s Secret has done an amazing job of hiring some of the hottest women in the world to wear their lingerie for them. I am assuming this Karolina Kurkova slut is some kind of communist, while Lima and Gisele are hot tribal Brazilian bitches. Either way, Lima is the hottest out of the three hands down, and I’d be rockin’ a Lima stalker post if there was enough dirt on her on the net, which there isn’t. I’ve looked.

When I was young I had this crazy thought that I would end up with a Bikini/Lingerie model. This was before there was a Victoria’s Secret catalogue and before I realized that I was destined for failure. These kinds of girls only like fat guys with a lot of money, and in the event you haven’t realized, I am not that guy. I still wear jogging pants I got at the Salvation Army 9 years ago. I am not trying to depress you. I am okay my life. I have accepted that my wife is a fat whore who can’t wear a bikini or lingerie because they don’t make them in her size. It’s criminal (her size, not the fact they don’t make lingerie for REALLY big girls).

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