It happens to the best of us, well not really to me, but only because I don’t wear underwear, only because I am a slob who hates doing laundry and more importantly life is expensive and I have to budget, and lucky for me underwear just didn’t make the cut, regardless Jessica Simpson has a bit of money, a perverted dad, a husband she cheats on and most importantly a wedgie, that she is picking, that was documented on film, that is not a big deal to me, but I know it is to you…catering to my audience is just what I do.

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At 68 dollars, this shit’s a steal. I know everytime I get hard, I wish I could be bound up in some weird fucking sex bubble. It’s like wrap me up and throw me in the fuckin corner like the used tampon I sometimes feel like. I guess it all started with my sexual attraction to a beachball, I remember as a kid in mexico our only had rocks for toys, so the soft rubber texture I encountered as a teenager only brought one thing to mind and that one thing was “I would love to fuck this”, so I did. Point of the story is sexual restraints are hype, especially when they remind me of a beachball….this post is weak, but so am I.

Confining Latex Balloon Prison
This unique latex balloon is made of stretchable latex. This product is super stretchy but takes some effort to get in it. We suggest a lot of a water based lubricant around the skin and balloon to glide in better. To get in you start by putting your feet inside and then pulling the latex balloon around your body all the way to the neck. Once inside you can feel the pressure of the latex all around you. Some use additional straps or tape for extra security. Comes in black or clear.

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The only thing wrong with a woman turning 30 is pretty much everything. What once was tight, is now loose, and what I once considered ejaculating on, reminds me of a bowl of Oatmeal. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Oatmeal, especially if you’re poor. That shit can feed an entire family. Thanks Cameron Diaz for your Oatmeal stomach…maybe you should consider rockin one of these next time you hit the beach. All the fat bitches have been rockin’ these for years. Speaking of fat, Rebecca Romijn Stamos is still fat motherfuckers.

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We all love getting emails, especially when you are a lonely fuck, which you are. It makes you feel like you are liked, or wanted, or needed or…you get the idea. Even I like getting emails, when I see my computer receiving files I always sit and hope for naked pic submissions, my big break, or even an email from someone saying hi. Today’s email was one of greater importance, it was from a Muslim man begging to be helped out, this is what he had to say, and drop him an email if you’re bored. Don’t be too mean, this guy looks like he’s “this close” to giving up, and racial slurs are NOT accepted in my world…..

Hello ,
I am saleem the resident of Muslim country pakistan I am also Muslim .but i am in trouble .this country and Muslim people have been tease me .so i am fed up and i want to settle in Europeon ,Russian ,Amrician ,Australian other none muslim countries and want to adopt their religion For the sake of humanity please help me My Bio-data is as follow Name Saleem , Age 25 years profession business , unmarried religion islam , height 5 feet 8 inches i am the owner of one lac dollar .if any body will help me then i shall adopt his religion .i am ready to adopt any religion expect Muslim .please help me yours Saleem my e mail mr-HERE

Hello ,
you can do my help like this .you search a girl of Europeon countries for me .i shall get marriage with this girl and come her country such as i can leave the Pakistan and settle another country i can adopt the religion of that country .i shall pay money if you will do my work your faith fully , saleem

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Since this is the home of Lohan, I have no choice but to post about her. Lohan is potentially the future mother of my baby, I want to pull a Kevin Federline on her ass, but only when bitch loses weight. I am all for bikini pictures, but get really turned off when I have to look at at fatty in a bikini, she’s got pretty big thighs, a gunt and mad cankles. This girl has A LOT of weight to lose, I hope she hasn’t given up on her workout program, diet pills and coke habit, because that’s really where all her appeal is, however, Lohan is in Mexico, I am from Mexico, I would say it was fate, but that would be fucking gay as shit, shit is only gay when the homos get it on their dicks after an intense ass-fucking session. Just so you know, you got some gay shit….

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Lohan, still has a few pounds to go before she hits her ideal weight, at least that’s what her doctors told me. I actually never met her doctors, but judging by her tits, she’s still packin’ heat. Her cocaine habit has done her some good, so let this be a lesson to all you girls out there with low self esteem and a negative body-image, just get yourself an 8-ball and everything will work itself out…you can be a rockstar for the day, and if you’re lucky, maybe you’ll lose that fat ass your boyfriend pretends he likes, because you are the only bitch dumb enough to fuck him.

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The wind is a man’s best friend especially when the bitch who gets caught in the wind is wearing a short skirt, not necessarily when Chloe Sevigny is that girl, cuz she is busted. It would have been nice if the movie kids was a documentary and bitch actually had HIV, which would be full blown AIDS by now and she’d be in a hospital bed, out of the public eye. She may not have AIDS but she looks like she’s got some kind of STD, but in this upskirt her underwear isn’t soiled. I am surprised she actually has underwear, from my experience most crackwhores sell that shit for more rock.

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Who the fuck is this bitch who has gone to prove my point that all bitches, no matter how fat they are, feel the need to wear see-through clothes, it’s like they don’t have motherfucking mirrors in their house, to warn them that it’s a bad idea. This bitch is going out for her birthday and decided to wear a sheer dress, lucky for us, she’s wearing underwear. Judging by her neck, no one in their right mind would wanna see this pussy and by pussy, I mean her vagina, and I have a feeling it smells like donuts…you like that don’t you, slob.

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No matter how much money you have, you can’t supress bodily functions. This bitch is sweating like a motherfucker and it’s not cuz she’s obese, it’s probably cuz she’s jacked up on diet pills or some shit, that’s all the rage in California and Paris has a few pounds to loose, that fat slut. I know – she’s pregnant and that’s why she’s getting married, a little shotgun wedding to save face for the family, I think Paris ruined that a while ago, when she was filmed fucking…you may remember that who ordeal, I doubt anything exciting has happened in your life since. Pregnant or not, she is not as fat as my stupid wife who sweats when she’s watching TV. Not that we can afford cable but bitch always finds a way….

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No matter how much money you have, you can’t supress bodily functions. This bitch is sweating like a motherfucker and it’s not cuz she’s obese, it’s probably cuz she’s jacked up on diet pills or some shit, that’s all the rage in California and Paris has a few pounds to loose, that fat slut. I know – she’s pregnant and that’s why she’s getting married, a little shotgun wedding to save face for the family, I think Paris ruined that a while ago, when she was filmed fucking…you may remember that who ordeal, I doubt anything exciting has happened in your life since. Pregnant or not, she is not as fat as my stupid wife who sweats when she’s watching TV. Not that we can afford cable but bitch always finds a way….

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