For all the homos out there, I would like to say, I got yo’ back, maybe not the way you’d like me to get it, but in a way that only a drunken stepfather could. There is a condition called Gay Bowel Syndrome which happens after inserting foreign objects in the bum. A penis is considered a foreign object, and a stretched asshole often times means dirty sheets/underwear from fecal seepage. Now I remember the first time I did a girl up the ass, it was a magical experience, that changed my life. The story goes like this: Brenda was a devote christian, she was from texas and she refused to have sex before marriage. That shit threw me off a little and I kept my distance because what the fuck do I want with a girl who doesn’t put out. I am not a sister, and don’t care to learn about your life. As time went on and Brenda kept running after me, I told her straight up that if she doesn’t let me fuck her, she’s dead to me. I like ultimatums. She told me that even though her reverend dad would not approve, like I cared, she would hook me up with a good time. So we met outside the Taco Bell, near the dumpster, I like to have a little bit of Mexico around me at all times, she took off her pants, spread her ass cheeks and invited me in for some backdoor fun. I don’t remember there being and seepage, but I do remember a distinct bean burrito stench……
The soiling of clothes from fecal seepage is a problem for many homosexuals … To avoid soiling of clothes, homosexuals with mild problems are advised to use a menstrual-type pad in the back of their underwear to absorb moisture and waste. (6) Homosexuals with big buttocks require a fluffed-up cotton ball placed against the anal opening, together with a pad to help absorb moisture throughout the day. (6) Medical advice for homosexuals with persistent soiling includes rectal wash-outs to remove residual feces from the anal canal after bowel movements. (6) This involves inserting an ear syringe into the rectum that is filled with warm water and coated with a water-soluble lubricant. Squeezing the syringe gently and repeatedly helps wash out any residual feces from the anal canal.
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it has been only a few hours, but they have been the longest hours of my life. you wont answer my text messages. jesus, why wont you answer my text messages? just because i aborted our 3 children does not mean that i deserve this. i miss getting drunk off tequila bang bang and passing out in the kiddie pool in our trailer park and waking up with your hand in my crotch. i miss getting drunk off stolichnaya and letting you paint my toenails with your favorite pink color and then having a sword fight with our fripperie pans. i miss getting stoned off gasolene and windex and running after the police dogs. can i PLEASE come see you today when you are finished work, so we can get drunk, chain smoke, pick up 17 year old girls with peg legs and yell pirate obscenities at passersby, specifically priests, nuns and god.
