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What’s up fuckers.
It’s 1:30 am and I just had a conversation with a close friend about my social etiquette, or lack there of, I should say. So if your wondering why I posted a picture of myself over there, its because this post is about me, and my rudeness.
It was recently brought to my attention that at times of social interaction I come across as rude, short-answered, and generally unhappy as a person. It got me thinking, because, by nature I am a pretty nice guy and didnt realize this about myself. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, I’m telling you this because the reasoning behind my newly-discovered dick headedness falls right into todays social sub-genre.
Keep Reading After the Jump
SMALL TALKERS
After a few weeks of “soul searching” (AKA heavy drinking and masturbation ) I realized that it’s not myself I hate, its Small Talkers, and, by default, filler conversation.
Lets break it down into a scenario, shall we? You arive at a house party/bar/whatever (fashionably late I hope), scan the room to locate your friends, and head on over. Now at this point you’re 1 of 2 kinds of people. Your either A: The kind to wait for people to aknowledge your presence, give a round of high fives, and join the group. Or your B: The insecure asshole that makes such a scene that everyone in the place knows your there.
Usualy when I walk into a place I’m pretty casual, saying Hi to those I know, and a slight nod to those I dont. However, it is after the inital contact where my problem lies. Once people start making conversation, saying things such as “Hey Steve, whats new”, “Yo man, how was work?”, you know, the SMALL TALK; this is where I get anal. First off, you dont fucking care whats new, so why would you even ask? Second of all, I hardly know you, if something really was “new”, im not going to fucking tell you, asshole. Because, chances are, it would sound somthing like this.
“Oh hey dude, thanks for asking. I just realized that my dick shrank 2 inches and curves to the right. I tried jerking off with the other hand, but im not very good at switch hitting so…ya know, guess im screwed. HAHAHA”
Nobody gives a fuck whats new. ever. If they do, they are really just waiting for you to stop talking so they can tell you about thier problems. Instead, lets just cut the bullshit and do what we came here to do. Get drunk, make fun of eachother in public and forget about how horrible are lives actually aren’t. If i wanna talk, i’ll call you.
Now, alot of people would make the argument that SMALL TALK leads to deeper conversation, it acts as an ice breaker, opens the door and lets you learn more about a person. But those people are the same people that cant wait to talk about themselves. If you really want to bond with me, buy me a beer and help me trash the washroom. I will gladly return the favour.
But Hey, maybe I am wrong. Perhaps this truly is a problem of mine, everyone else seems to think so. My girlfriend even went to the extent as to give me a book called “I dont want to talk about it – Overcoming the secret of male depression”. I ran out of toilet paper and old tshirts, so I’ll give you one guess as to where that book is now.
Social interaction is the strangest thing ever. So many rules, and so many does and donts. In my opinion, the world would be a greater place if we cut the crap, got rid of the filler, and concentraded on one common goal. Getting completly and utterly fucking wasted.
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We all watch the OC, actually I don’t, but I would if I was out on a date with a 16 year old cheerleader. I don’t find Mischa Barton all that hot, but she’s got a sister and a girl’s desirability goes way up when there are two of them. I remember back in Texas, I hooked up with this pretty homely bitch, she was albino, I banged her a couple of times, and it was pretty gross, other than her white pubes and her red eyes, which was cool. As it turned out, she had a sister who was missing a toe, yes her parents were cousins. When we would all hook-up, I seriously convinced myself that these two freaks equaled one average girl, so it made it alright.
