Lohan is a star to us, and we don’t care about all the gossip and shit that happens to her. We will always love her and she will forever be the twins in Parent Trap with her freckled face and fake British accent.

As the home of Lohan, we have to deliver the goods so here is the scoop on Lohan

Lohan Changes Agents

Teen actress LINDSAY LOHAN has switched agents as she strives to secure bigger film roles.

American TV network E!’s gossip columnist TED CASABLANCA reports the MEAN GIRLS star, 18, dumped ENDEAVOR for CREATIVE ARTISTS AGENCY (CAA).

Lohan’s spokesperson confirms, “It was time for Lindsay to move on.”

A friend of the redhead beauty tells E!, “What Lindsay needs to watch, is how to get more A-list projects. Endeavor wasn’t doing that; CAA already is.”
via ContactMusic

Lohan’s Dad pitches a reality show

LINDSAY LOHAN’s estranged father MICHAEL is keen to reconcile with his family – for a reality TV show.

Although his wife DINA recently filed for divorce, Michael is hoping his family – including FREAKY FRIDAY star Lindsay – will warm to the prospect of appear in a series on their lives.

But things aren’t currently looking good for Michael’s idea.

A representative for his 18-year-old actress daughter says, “Lindsay has not seen the proposal and has no interest in seeing it.”

via ContactMusic

No Contact Music is NOT the home of Lohan – We are…I swear!!!

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I found a new message board to frequent – because I enjoy congregating with weird people. It is called DollForum.com and is a community for people who have loving relationships with their sex dolls.

I guess there isn’t really anything wrong with keeping your sex doll in your closet, busting her out for the lonely nights, developing fantasies that she is real. Showering with her, Dressing it, Combing its hair…no absolutely nothing wrong with that.

You doll lovers are completely normal, and I highly doubt you were molested as a child.

Here is the message of the day

Hey there guys

Does anybody know where I can get just the lower half of a doll from waist to toes?

As realistic as possible

Yes, is some kind of fetish

Callesnegras

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

The Adidas Superstar is the shoe of choice for streetwear bitches who don’t rock Nike. The airbrushing, custom, limited edition shit is nothing new. I remember rocking a Pair of Vision’s back in ’89 that I modified with a red ballpoint pen. Or my Vans checkerboard slip ons, that I colored in the white checkers with a blue pen….or my converse hi-tops back in ’86 that were two toned, pink and turquiose bitches. Or back in mexico in the ’70s when I was rocking the hottest paperbags ever. All the other kids were jealous because I could afford a pen to decorate those fuckers, they were a bitch in the rain…but better than the kids who wore used condoms as shoes….

I was ahead of the trend, and now I am out of the loop but sneakers are hitting the mainstream nice and hard, like my cock used to be before impotency…that’s right I am not 18 anymore.

More sneaker features to come.

Check out the Adidas Promo Video Here for their Superstars….they aren’t paying me to do this, but they should!
Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Every person has one special day…Their birthday. Its great when your birthday lands on a friday so you can celebrate over the shabbat table. I used to knowmy birthday but due to legal reasons I was forced to relinquish it in 1964. Now I do not have a birthday and can only ask for your pity. Yoko was born today, so that makes today a pretty weird day. I have always hated her since she broke up the beatles and yet I still posted a picture of her and John naked after the Jump. Hounarable mentions go to who did not make the top 3 this year, but maybe next year they will.

#3)Helen Gurley Brown(02/18/1922 – )writer

Quote: “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.”

#2)Andre Breton(02/18/1896 – 09/28/1966)
French surrealist writer

Quote: “Words make love with one another.”

#1)Yoko Ono(02/18/1933 – )artist

Quote: “Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl’s best friend is still a nearsighted man.”

Bonus Jewish Birthday: Sholom Aleichem(02/18/1859 – 05/13/1916)
Russian writer

Quote: “No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.”

Though Helen Gurley Brown didn’t invent sex, she sure made it more fun for women who read her best-selling books and enjoyed her work as Editor in Chief of Cosmopolitan magazine.

IMPACT ON THE ’60s: She is arguably one of the most influential women of the decade, perhaps even the century, and she did it all with her pen, first by writing the best-selling Sex and the Single Girl in ’62, and then by assuming the Editor in Chief position at struggling Cosmopolitan magazine in ’65. For the next 32 years she instructed, helped, advised, cheered for, encouraged, liberated, and promoted women, givining them a new manual for the sexual revolution. She was a powerful voice advocating women’s sexual freedom — armed with the pill, she showed women how they could use it, how they could take advantage of it, how they could thrive with the new technology, the new attitudes of the ’60s, and the new control they had over their sexual destinies.

After the ’60s, of course, she continued at the helm of Cosmopolitan, guiding it to spectacular sales since she took over. An under-achieving magazine with a circulation of 800,000 n ’65, Cosmo has become the most successful woman’s magazine ever and one of the five largest-selling periodicals on U.S. newsstands. One of the most famous issues appeared in ’72, it had Burt Reynolds as the first nude male pin-up. She’s also continued to write books, following up her four ’60s works with Sex and the New Single Girl in ’70, Having It All in ’82, The Late Show: A Semi Wild but Practical Guide for Women Over 50 in ’93, and The Writer’s Rules: The Power of Positive Prose — How to Create It and Get It Published in ’98.

HER ’60s LOOK: To her credit, in the ’60s she was alway tasteful and intelligently conservative with her facial look — despite the craziness going around her with little English bobs and wildly colored eye makeup, she stayed smart, urban, chic, stylish, and glamorous, so that she looked great and like someone who instantly commanded respect, whether she was in an editor’s meeting or an elegant restaurant. We’ve looked at dozens of photos of her, and she’s always impeccably and expensively dressed — not one for jeans or sweats, she’s always in style and elegant, on the tailored side of fashion. She could wear short dresses, fashionable suits, colorful prints, beautiful French dresses, and flashy jewels. What’s more, she kept her look going long after other women gave up, so that her long successful career has been matched by her long successful life as a woman of fashion; today she still looks cultured and careful, poised and professional.

Yoko:
Interview

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Well the final installment of the kosher series is upon us today. Hope you have learned and enjoyed this series.

The Jewish fact of the Day:

Foods which contain neither meat nor milk, fruit and vegetables, may be eaten with either meat or vegetables. These foods are known as parev or parve.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Videos come and go, just like women, friends and jobs. But every now and then we look back on the videos we have posted over the last couple of weeks, and think to ourselves “wow”. I don’t think you should miss out on the opportunity to see the videos we liked today. So check them out – After the jump.

Weird goth chick – not sure what she is doing
Here

Sledding Accident – Not that funny
Here

TV Nipple Slip
Here

Shower Scene
Here

Porn Bloopers
Here

Fat Chick Gets Assaulted on Stage
Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

After sleepless nights and a shelf of ‘little mothers helpers’; I decided to go the way of the blind date. I am thinking this will be my ticket to the bounce back. However, the cross over from blind-date-material to casual-sex-partner is apparently massive. Similar to crossing the grand canyon on a sheer thread of integrity. After taking about 10 different angle looks, I decided that this would not be for me. Even after chugging 4.5 glasses of cheap-acid-bar-wine, I still couldn’t make the cross over. Moreover, it still felt like I was wearing a sweater made of hair. Thank god, the goatfucker ex doesn’t live in this city. My luck I would walk right into him and his new lovely addition. Them both gleaming in all their new found glory. Me, with jogging pants on, a weeks stack of movie rentals under my arm, getting off the bus, with a huge oversized puss ball zit on my face. Would be fucking fantastic. Instead I walked out of the bar alone, and literally almost got clipped by a taxi.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Every person has one special day…Their birthday. Back in my law school days my tea`cher offered me an A for a good time on his birthday. Ever since then birthdays have been a scary for me. But i know some of you still regard this as a special day. Denise Richards is the top birthday today; did you know she was a guest in seinfeld in the Shoes episode as the NBC boss president? And who can forget her p-boy pics from December, which we have posted after the Jump. So lets find out who else was born today.

#3)Ronald Knox (02/17/1888 – 08/24/1957) writer, theologian

Quote: “A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

#2)Michael Jordan(02/17/1963 – )

Quote: “Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.

#1) Denise Richards (02/17/1972 – ) US actor (wife of Charlie Sheen)

Quote: “First of all I work out, second of all the Director of Photography on our film is amazing and I told him if any cellulite shows I will kill him!”

Celbrity Factor Gallery

Denise’s Mr Skin Bio:

With flashing eyes of emerald green and lips like plump, candied slabs of love, Denise Richards is pretty enough to have secured a movie career without ever having shown anything. Indeed, her breakthrough role in Starship Troopers (1997) was a fully clothed jaunt, although no amount of fabric could conceal the trundling treasures of her heaving chest. Those beauties, and the booty that backs them up, were brought to light in Wild Things (1998). Playing a devious and oversexed rich chick, Denise started off by doing a bold bikini strut but soon discarded that top for wilder things. The film’s highlight was a three-way grope and slurp that featured Matt Dillon and Neve Campbell going hot and bothered for the bare breasts and sucking tongue of pop-top Richards. In a celebratory mood, Matt dribbled champagne through Denise’s cleavage and tongued the bubbly off. His is not the only cork that will pop.
Skinfo: Denise married Hollywood scion Charlie Sheen. Their pre-nup reportedly had a clause that guaranteed her $4 million if Charlie was caught cheating, even if it’s only with hookers.
Quote: About the Wild Things nudity: “I had such anxiety about those scenes. For me, it was a big deal because they were my breasts and there was a shot of my rear end.” Those are a big deal for everybody, honey.

Denis as Molly in Seinfeld

Denise in Wild things

P-BOY Magazine

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

I remember the first doll I ever got. It was one of those cheap blow up dolls made out of beachball material. That was before I saved up my money made from collecting bottles and cans by digging deep into the trash on every street corner to purchase a realdoll. I am joking people. I don’t have sex dolls, they are too damn expensive and after I am done with them they smell like shit and stink up my whole house. I think that may have something to do with the fact that I really get off by shitting on their little plastic faces.

Celebrities get dolls made in their image, so perverts everywhere can pretend the toy in their ass is really Britney Spears. I dug deep into the depths of the internet to find some random celebrity dolls…

Check them out – After the Jump

Dead

Sonny Bono – Dude can’t ski, hit a tree

Princess Diana – Killed by the government – Covered up by blaming people with cameras and motorbikes…

FloJo – Steroids stopped her heart

Groucho Marx of the Marx Brothers – pneumonia

Freddie Mercury – Pneumonia caused by AIDS caused by Homosexuality

Liberace – Aids caused by Homosexuality (batty boy boom)

George Burns – Old Age

Jim Morrison – Drugs

Elvis – Drugs

Gay:

Elton John – Just Gay.

Boy George – Just a Tranny

Pedophile:

Michael Jackson

People Who Will Never Have Dolls Made In their image again:

Cher

NKOTB

NKOTB-Donnie

NKOTB-Jordan

NKOTB-Joe

NKOTB-Danny

Vanilla Ice

John Travolta

Prince Charles

Luke Perry

Donny Osmond

MC Hammer

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Today is a special day, a day for video clips for you to watch at work and hopefully get in trouble for. I didn’t actually make these videos because I am a talentless hack, but I have found them for you from the various sites for you to watch, enjoy and possibly masturbate to. You are a pervert and your mom knows you’re chronic. Touch your toes.

Clips after the jump

Pillow Fight
Here

Snowmobile Accident
Here

Crazy Driving
Here

Guy Sprays Axe Up His Nose
Here

Intercom Commercial
Here

Lesbian Clip
Here

Sandpaper Drag
Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted