Paris Hilton is endorsing a pot-flavored candy which is really “hot” considering she is used to sucking on herpes cock…..

Speacking of sucking in the bedroom – Paris claims that she isn’t a sexual person, and that she prefers watching movies and just kissing…this comes as no surprise for those of us who saw the sex tape, there were no jerk-off opportunities….I had to go back to watching reruns of the Cosby Show.

For more on the pot story go here

For more on the “sex is boring story” you will have to wait for Rolling Stone to release their People of the Year issue. Paris is still considered a person…

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Britney Spears is a Stepmother. I am – a stepfather. That means if you put Britney and me in a room together we would be a hot set of step-parents. Don’t worry, I am mexican, I am used to smell ….and just so you know those werent her feet that stank up the plane, it was K-Feds rotting semen… girl’s trying preggers…giver her a break.

Kevin Federline knocked up his last conquest Shar Jackson without any real problems…I am thinking maybe B-Fed has ovary issues.

Shar Jackson looks like this, and refuses to spend x-mas with the Federlines and the babies as one big family….

Rumor is Star and Al Jones are going to be taking Shar’s place, but that’s only because Star Jones likes turkey….as much as I like homeless looking billionaire drug addicts

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When men get old they don’t worry about their dick sizes. Even though they sometimes should.

I was on planetsuzy.com and came across pictures of Kurt Russell naked.

HERE

He’s the one banging Goldie Hawn and molesting her daughter Kate Hudson, but it’s cool, from one stepfather to another ‘ respect’

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When men get old they don’t worry about their dick sizes. Even though they sometimes should.

I was on planetsuzy.com and came across pictures of Kurt Russell naked.

HERE

He’s the one banging Goldie Hawn and molesting her daughter Kate Hudson, but it’s cool, from one stepfather to another ‘ respect’

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Come here boys and girls, there is something I love to do…and that is tell great stories to all of you… it’s something I started doing when I was a little boy. I didn’t have the luxuries you had like TV, Parents and friends. I was alone, so I would tell stories to the animals in the woods….

This is a story that I remember vividly…..I hope you like it…I am not sure where I got it, probably harmony korine’s book 10 years ago… or whenever it was published. I used to be a fan..

A blind boy and his older brother live together in a small house with their middle-aged mother.
The older brother takes care of his blind brother.
He walks him arm-in-arm to school- and to the playground-
He tries to teach him how to play basketball.
One day the blind boy recovers his eyesight. The Blind boy begins an ” AFFAIR”
With his brother.
The mother freaks out- the blind boy kills himself….

The Book Crack Up at the Race Riots can be found

Here

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Looking for a holiday project.
Bake gingerpornbread cookies with the family, or the stepfamily.

Instructions are easy to follow, even if you are from a red state

Here

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With little fanfare or attention the creator of the poutine Fernand Lachance, died earlier this year at the age of 86. And guess what he died of: Thats right, pulmonary disease. Although he did live till 86 so thats not to bad.

It all happend one cold september night in 1957. That was where Lachance met a trucker with a special request.

“I wanted fries, but I saw cheese curds on the counter. I asked Fernand to mix them together,”

Read on Here

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With little fanfare or attention the creator of the poutine Fernand Lachance, died earlier this year at the age of 86. And guess what he died of: Thats right, pulmonary disease. Although he did live till 86 so thats not to bad.

It all happend one cold september night in 1957. That was where Lachance met a trucker with a special request.

“I wanted fries, but I saw cheese curds on the counter. I asked Fernand to mix them together,”

Read on Here

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I think our muslim fans are feeling neglected from our lack of attention to their religion. So i asked my assistant to pull up some of the Sex rules for Islamists.

ENJOY

Sexual intercourse invalidates the fast, even if the penetration is as little as the tip of the male organ, and even if there has been no ejaculation.

* If the penetration is less than the tip of the male organ, so that it cannot be said that intercourse has taken place, also if no ejaculation takes place, the fast does not become invalid. This applies to both, circumcised and uncircumcised men

1596. If a person forgets that he is observing fast and commits sexual intercourse or he is compelled to have sexual intercourse in a manner that makes him helpless, his fast does not become void. However, if he remembers (that he is observing fast) or ceases to be helpless during sexual intercourse, he should withdraw from the sexual intercourse at once, and if he does not, his fast becomes void.

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In this multi part series I will take you through the Jewish Attitudes Towards Sexuality and make you a better person.

According to my Rabbi, “sexual desire comes from the “yetzer ra” (the evil impulse. Like hunger, thirst or other basic instincts, sexual desire must be controlled and channeled” (What the hell does that mean).

He also told me “when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time, out of mutual love and desire, sex is a mitzvah”. (I wonder if that includes your stepdaughter)

Thats it for now…my Rabbi is hungry and Im taking out for a nice Gefilte Fish dinner. Tune in next time

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