It is Christmas. A lot of people are on Vacation. My life is a Vacation. Just a really bad Vacation. The kind of Vacation you go on and can’t wait to get home from, only I’ve got no home to go to after the week is up. I have no long winded, curt email to […]

I am thinking about hitchiking to LA with my pug to work as a bus boy in West Hollywood at a gay bar, in efforts to suck my dick to the top of the entertainment industry. Unfortunately, I am past my prime and probably give a shitty blowjob, not to mention I figure that strategy […]

It’s the long weekend. That means the only people who will read this are lonely losers with no family, friends or money to get the fuck aways from their computer for the weekend. Welcome to my life. The good news is that in efforts to get wasted last night, I fell asleep at 9 pm […]

You know how I bitch about my wife always wanting to have sex with me and how it makes me sick to my fucking stomach and I tell her to fuck off with her fat dirty vagina, but fuck her anyway, well 6 or 7 weeks ago, I guess she got the hint and stopped […]

I’ve decided I am going to leave my wife for a pornstar. I figure that marrying one means I don’t have to worry about them cheating on me, because their job is about them getting fucked. Some of them are relatively attractively, at least compared to the girls I know who get paid to fuck […]

It is St Patrick’s Day, and despite hating celebrations, festive people, holidays, or pretty much any group activity, because I am a miserable cynic, people are out getting drunk and crazy and I’m not, which is about to change now, because for once I don’t have to get drunk alone and that’s something to take […]

I got this email today… I think I’m supposed to hate you because of feminism and all that shit, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love your site. Love it. My husband doesn’t get it, and thinks that I’m a big fat lesbian now, but whatev. Humor seems to escape him most […]

I haven’t got that much sleep the last 24 hours because I’m on Twitter and Michael Lohan told me that I crossed the line in things I’ve said to him. Now, I’m standing by the door with a kitchen knife, paranoid he’s gonna come get me. You know, he did try to off his family, […]

I didn’t realize that it was a holiday everywhere in the fucking world today and I ended up posting more than ever and I am pissed off about that. I should have been sitting on my ass all day doing nothing…oh wait…I was. Everyday is a fucking vacation. Everyday is Spring break. I just distract […]