It’s a long weekend, so what better way to spend it than to adopt a 16 year old asian girl to groom into becoming your child bride…when she turns 18 obviously, otherwise it’s just creepy….we call it doing the Woody Allen… Or you could watch fireworks in a Walmart Parking lot, trying to get the […]

Making a joke about locking a girl you are sexting in a basement always takes a weird turn when she says “That’s where I feel most at home”….hot right, until she follows up with “that’s where my dad used to molest me when I was 7”. The wrong response is “where did he cum”….because even […]

It’s still my birthday, send nudes…of you or of every vagina you have ever known or that you come accross.. Thanks….for the well wishes. I’ll be at the strippers because I got drunk and passed out last night before getting to the strippers and birthday without strippers is like Pam Anderson without Hepatitis, or Lohan […]

I like finding pussy pics that were sent to me 5-10 years ago from women I used to get pussy pics from and sending them to said woman saying “I miss you, but I’m glad you are here”….they always freak out and call me a sexual assaulter…when I just think it’s being funny, jokes, why […]

I met a recently single girl in a bar last night – who was telling me that her boyfriend and her broke up for a few days ago and she has since turned to tinder where she has fucked 3 dudes a day – everyday – she’s up to 14…and she gets free lunches and […]

I drank too much tequila…and passed out on the floor…I don’t remember where I was, how I got home, who I sexted….but I know that I survived, and sometimes, that’s all you fucking need….. As someone who drinks regularly – blacking out and passing out on the floor is a real accomplishment…. I feel like […]