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Archive for the Fergie Category

2008

17

Apr

Fergie Broke My Ears on Regis and Kelly of the Day

I am hooked on posting morning TV clips of the day, I think it’s because I don’t have a TV and I am jonesing, but it’s also because pictures bore the fuck out of me. At least with videos, I can watch what a mess people make of themselves while trying to sing or while doing interviews and that’s a lot less interesting than just imagining their it my head while looking at a picture because in my imagination it always leads to a hardcore porno scene, but watching it play out on video is usually a lot less work for my hungover brain.

It’s kinda like when you were forced to jerk off to pics that took 4 minutes to load on the computer back in 1996, when you first got your internet and where you’d be up all hours of the night talking to 18 year old SxxyGrrl69 from New Mexico while jerking off to porn pics you found on SublimeDirectory just sitting there waiting 5 minutes for the good part of the picture with a little pussy getting fucked so that you could set the scene as it took forever to load so you could drop your load to the elaborate story you imagined…then one day discovering you can watch the sex clips instead.

Either way, here’s Fergie singing like an angel this morning and she sounds like she’s been up all night on a coke binge while singing some kind of Disney Cinderella bullshit in some kind of sleep deprived, drug induced hallucination and it brought sunshine to this glorious day but not as much sunshine as Regis brought when he pretty much apologized for the horrible noise when they came back from commercial before Kelly told him it was a Fergie sng. That’s the kind of honesty that makes Live TV funny…because even Regis knows Fergie sucks.

Bonus – Here’s Her Interview That I Didn’t Watch Because If She’s Not Naked, I’m Not Listening..

Posted in:Fergie|Painful

2007

19

Nov

I am – The American Music Awards Arrivals of the Day

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I didn’t watch the American Music Awards because they are a waste of fucking time, even though every acceptance speech is about how shit changes lives, but unfortunately my life wasn’t one of those lives changed today, because I don’t own a TV, but if I did, I’d be living the fuckin’ dream and I am pretty sure I’d be watching scrambled porn, not because I like porn, but because distorted blue and green sex scenes excite me more than Dick Clark’s bullshit award show.

I tried getting someone in LA to crash red carpet for this event for stepTV, but I have no real pull, I couldn’t get press access and security’s a bitch, not to mention the dude I know in LA doesn’t have a camera and can barely speak english, but it still would have been better coverage than the actually award show, but that’s just like comparing a hot girl to some fat one night stand you once brought home when drunk because she was willing and you are an opportunist who doesn’t turn down a girl when she offers you creampie, unfortunately when you got back to her place, you realized that by creampie bitch actually meant a cream pie and you sat there eating whip cream and watching reruns of Seinfeld, because that’s all that was on at 4 am, until you sobered up and had to peace the fuck out because you realized that her elastic waistband on her sweat pants wasn’t something that could really get you off and for the record stepTV is that fat chick because it’s lower quality but makes for a better fuckin’ story.

I am recovering from binge drinking like a sorority girl during Homecoming week, and I don’t remember all that much of the last two nights, but I do know I laughed a lot so if you’re lucky I’ll bring some of that to you here, it happens sometimes, just not in this post.

Here are the arrival pictures from the AMAs.

Beyonce’s Got Some Insane Cleavage Going On….I Guess Someone’s Been Eating Her Fried Chicken

Alicia Keys Did Some Choreographed Dance Routine I Didn’t Understand

Amanda Bynes Got Some Fucking Legs

Ashley Tisdale is Hot Right Now, Like a Busted Old Pick-Up Truck In Your Front Lawn on a Hot Summer’s Day…

Avril Lavigne Dressed Like an Academy Award, If Academy Awards Had Stupid Hair

Some Carrie Underwood Wearing Curtains

Jennie Garth Dancing With Her Old Face…Which She Thinks is a Star…But Really Isn’t

Rihanna in Some Halloween Costume Shit Still Lookin’ Hot…

Vanessa Hudgens Because We’ve All Seen Her Naked and I Like to Show Love To Bitches Who Get Naked….

Fergie because Her Body is Too Good to be a Man

Nicole Scherzinger Because Her Dress Reminds Me of This Retarded Kids Art Project But Less Attractive….

Kellie Pickler Because We Like to Support Her Fake Tits

Miley Cyrus Because She’s Jailbait and has the Coolest Fuckin’ Father to Ever Grace the Radio With His Fucking Annoying Song….


Related Posts:

Last Year’s America Music Awards Post
Live Bloggin the 2006 VMAs
Live Bloggin’ the Academy Awards
Some Emmy Award Coverage

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Amanda Bynes|American Music Awards|Ashley Tisdale|Avril Lavigne|Beyonce|Fergie|Rihanna|Unsorted|Vanessa Hudgens

2007

16

Nov

I am – Fergie Sex Tape of the Day

I am calling fake on this one. There are so many tight bodied party sluts with haggard faces. Half of the strippers in this city look like Fergie and dress like her too. I am not sure what came first the Fergie or the Fergie outfit, because I wouldn’t be surprised if these bitches sat around analyzing her videos and copying her game because she’s an idol of theirs, like one of their own who actually made it in the world and doesn’t have to do 10 dollar lap dances anymore to pay for her cocaine and that’s inspiring to whores everywhere.

Either way, watch the video


Related Posts:

Meg White Sex Tape
Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Clips
Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Previews
Paris Hilton Exposed Pictures

Posted in:Fergie|Masturbating|Sex Tape|Unsorted

2007

07

Sep

I am – Fergie and Steven Tyler at Fashion Rocks of the Day

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I live in a pretty open minded city when it comes to Fags, mostly because there are a lot of fucking fags and we don’t have a choice in the matter.

It’s funny when I talk to other people tho, cause I hear that it’s not so liberal in other places, and I guess the liberal in me says I should be able to fuck who I want, make or female, and everyone else has that right as well.

Still, I think we are making big moves forward for the Gays when I turn on the television and I see an old homo with a heavily made up drag queen next to him on stage singing a duet together for all of America to see. THAT my friends, is progress!

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Related Posts

Fergie’s Eyebrows of the Day
Fergie’s Panty Leak of the Day
Fergie Singing Say You Say Me of the Day

Posted in:Fashion Rocks|Fergie|Steven Tyler|Unsorted

2007

19

Jul

I am – Fergie's Eyebrows of the Day

Fergie

Our token Gay Blogger and my personal friend (only because I’m still clinging to the hope he will come play for our team…I heard he has a big wang) has been kind enough to grace us with another post via email. Clubs! Cocaine! Drag Queens! Read on….

I went to this drag bar last night and I was in the bathroom doing lines with this one performer, Kitty Litter. The funny thing about her is that during rest of the week she is actually a teacher at rather conservative Catholic high school but one night a week she gets all decked out in sequins and lip-syncs to Donna Summer songs for a bunch of screaming queens. If that’s what the teacher is doing, god only knows what the principle of that school does on his Tuesday nights.

So anyways, she and I are in the bathroom and she’s re-applying her makeup, (and of course by re-applying, I mean putting on foundation by the pound and making sure that her glittery hot-pink lipstick hasn’t smeared while she was wiping her nose) and I come to the realization that drag queens have a really fucked up idea of what a woman is. Now, I’m not going to get all fourth wave feminist on you (or whatever the hell wave those dykes are on) but I realized that these queens really have no idea what a woman is.

I know, I know they are supposed to be portraying a parody of a woman but not even the trashiest, whorish, cracked-out slut of woman would be caught dead wearing what these drag queens were wearing. No woman with any shred of self-respect or dignity would ever in a million years look like these drag queens. She would have to be the absolute bottom of the barrel, the most meth addicted piece of shit to even remotely resemble Kitty Litter or any other female impersonator.

Kitty Litter has the same eyebrows as Fergie.

Smooch!

Julien


Related Posts

I am – Fergie’s New Video Panty Scene of the Day
GO

I am – Fergie Singing Say You Say Me of the Day
GO

I am – Fergie Working Out of the Day
GO

Posted in:Fergie|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

19

Jul

I am – Fergie’s Eyebrows of the Day

Fergie

Our token Gay Blogger and my personal friend (only because I’m still clinging to the hope he will come play for our team…I heard he has a big wang) has been kind enough to grace us with another post via email. Clubs! Cocaine! Drag Queens! Read on….

I went to this drag bar last night and I was in the bathroom doing lines with this one performer, Kitty Litter. The funny thing about her is that during rest of the week she is actually a teacher at rather conservative Catholic high school but one night a week she gets all decked out in sequins and lip-syncs to Donna Summer songs for a bunch of screaming queens. If that’s what the teacher is doing, god only knows what the principle of that school does on his Tuesday nights.

So anyways, she and I are in the bathroom and she’s re-applying her makeup, (and of course by re-applying, I mean putting on foundation by the pound and making sure that her glittery hot-pink lipstick hasn’t smeared while she was wiping her nose) and I come to the realization that drag queens have a really fucked up idea of what a woman is. Now, I’m not going to get all fourth wave feminist on you (or whatever the hell wave those dykes are on) but I realized that these queens really have no idea what a woman is.

I know, I know they are supposed to be portraying a parody of a woman but not even the trashiest, whorish, cracked-out slut of woman would be caught dead wearing what these drag queens were wearing. No woman with any shred of self-respect or dignity would ever in a million years look like these drag queens. She would have to be the absolute bottom of the barrel, the most meth addicted piece of shit to even remotely resemble Kitty Litter or any other female impersonator.

Kitty Litter has the same eyebrows as Fergie.

Smooch!

Julien


Related Posts

I am – Fergie’s New Video Panty Scene of the Day
GO

I am – Fergie Singing Say You Say Me of the Day
GO

I am – Fergie Working Out of the Day
GO

Posted in:Fergie|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

19

Apr

I am – Fergie's New Video Panty Scene of the Day

fergie_video_asstop.jpg

I already posted about this yesterday, but the rest of the pictures were sent in and I had no choice but to post them because it’s all part of my commitment to you. I could write about how people think she’s a tranny but it’s been done. I could write about how she’s an ex meth addict but it’s been done. I could also write about how she’s got a little chipmunk face with pornstar skin that only comes from letting dudes cum on her face while smoking cigarettes, drinking hard liquor and huffin lines of cocaine, but it’s dull. I guess these pictures are also pretty dull and I feel uninspired to really get more in depth than this. So this is my post about me talking about what I don’t want to talk about instead of actually giving you something to work with. That makes me a real asshole.

Posted in:Fergie|Unsorted

2007

19

Apr

I am – Fergie’s New Video Panty Scene of the Day

fergie_video_asstop.jpg

I already posted about this yesterday, but the rest of the pictures were sent in and I had no choice but to post them because it’s all part of my commitment to you. I could write about how people think she’s a tranny but it’s been done. I could write about how she’s an ex meth addict but it’s been done. I could also write about how she’s got a little chipmunk face with pornstar skin that only comes from letting dudes cum on her face while smoking cigarettes, drinking hard liquor and huffin lines of cocaine, but it’s dull. I guess these pictures are also pretty dull and I feel uninspired to really get more in depth than this. So this is my post about me talking about what I don’t want to talk about instead of actually giving you something to work with. That makes me a real asshole.

Posted in:Fergie|Unsorted

2007

18

Apr

I am – Fergie’s Panty Leak of the Day

fergie_panty_leak.jpg

Fergie isn’t a man because she has boobs and wears women’s panties. That’s usually the defining criteria I need before fooling around with what I think is a chick. Until I see her scrotum, I am sticking to the theory that she was born a chick, she’s just a little more muscular than most dudes I know, but I guess the dudes I know are lazy drunks who think standing in the shower is too much work, so they just avoid them all together. These are supposed to be panty pictures that leaked from her new music video. I am not sure if they really are, but they passed get posted anyway, I am not sure if that makes you lucky or not, but if you are reading this site, I’ll go with not….

Posted in:Fergie|Unsorted

2007

18

Apr

I am – Fergie's Panty Leak of the Day

fergie_panty_leak.jpg

Fergie isn’t a man because she has boobs and wears women’s panties. That’s usually the defining criteria I need before fooling around with what I think is a chick. Until I see her scrotum, I am sticking to the theory that she was born a chick, she’s just a little more muscular than most dudes I know, but I guess the dudes I know are lazy drunks who think standing in the shower is too much work, so they just avoid them all together. These are supposed to be panty pictures that leaked from her new music video. I am not sure if they really are, but they passed get posted anyway, I am not sure if that makes you lucky or not, but if you are reading this site, I’ll go with not….

Posted in:Fergie|Unsorted

2007

24

Mar

I am – Fergie Singing Say You Say Me of the Day

I know I didn’t post my stepLINKS yet, but that doesn’t mean that I am not going to do it. It doesn mean that I need to remind you that I am still alive and what better way to do it than to post a video of Fergie singing “Say You, Say Me” back in 1985, probably the hottest time in her career to you pedophiles. Bitch can sing and I was surprised that she used to be white and that’s the end of my story for now.

For the record I am drunk and this may not be Fergie, but she was in Kids Incorporated…Maybe this one is…

Posted in:Fergie|Unsorted

2007

13

Mar

I am – Fergie Working Out of the Day

fergie_working_out_top.jpg

I have trained myself to do this shit everyday and without a site I feel like a teenage runaway at a bus station in a new town right before getting picked up my the creepy guy who lurks at the bus station for teenage runaways to bring back home to offer a nice bed, shower and meal before making them suck his dick. I may seem like that creepy guy but I’ve never dropped that line on runaways in my life because I hate when the cops come my way, but I was one of the only guys back when I was hanging with street whores and homeless people to have a shower and that fucker got me a whole lot of cooch….That’s why you can’t run after bitches who own showers, their standards are too high and won’t want anything to do with you cuz you got nothing to offer.

Speaking of nothing to offer, here are some pics of Fergie Working Out because she was once a meth addicted teenage runaway. Now she’s addicted to pumping iron and that’s ok, especially when you’re rockin’ a clit bigger than my dick…which isn’t saying much…most girls have clits bigger than my dick. I’m an inny not an outtie now and that’s why I don’t care about this bitch even if she was sitting in my bed with a vibrator in her ass and my wife’s box in her mouth…but that’s only because my wife’s box grosses me out…and Fergie is lovely…

Posted in:Fergie|Unsorted

2007

07

Mar

I am – Fergie Bikini Ass of the Day

fergie_bikini_ass8.jpg

The problem with writing this site is that the motherfucker follows me everywhere I go. I go on a walk and I am thinking about shitty stories to write, I sneak into movies and I think about shitty stories to write, I get a lap dance and think of shitty stories to write, it’s like this bitch is attached my dick and sometimes I just don’t have any fucking stories to tell. Today is one of those days, but luckily these pictures of Fergie surfaced. Her in a bikini, some dude adjusting the bathing suit up her ass, and it made me think about how every fucking website disses her for lookin’ like a man or a tranny or whatever the fuck else they say about her. The point is she’s got a solid fucking body and most celebrities aren’t as hot as the girl down the fucking street. That’s why you should stop jerking off to these clowns you see on TV and try to the girl in your class, or at your job, or at your coffee shop. The internet is a bad place, it’s turning you into a pervert.

Here are some Fergie pics for you, Pervert.

So She Looks Like She’s Got a Bigger Bulge Than Me…But So Do Most Chicks…I’m Stickin’ with She’s a Woman.

Posted in:Fergie|Unsorted

2006

24

Jan

Fergie in a Bikini

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I don’t really understand Fergie at all. She came out of nowhere, destroyed a decent hip hop group, not that I will ever admit to liking hip hop, but I will admit to seeing a group of crackhead “artists” turn into dirty popstars cuz they added a bitch with implants to sing over their songs, wear slutty gear and do a little dance. I have nothing against adding some pussy to any project to make it more successful, cuz I like pussy, but I will never respect people who profit off it cuz they lack the talent to lure in people with their own product. If I ever had a website, I would NEVER post pictures of nipple slips, bikinis and pussy to lure in readers. This has been a post on Fergie in a Bikini and she still has a disgusting face.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Black Eyed Peas|Body|Boobs|Fergie|Unsorted