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Archive for the France Category

2009

28

May

Fergie’s Got France in her Pants of the Day

I got in a race war last night. I was drunk at a bar, pretty much alienating everyone that crossed paths with me while progressively drinking harder and harder and I don’t think I pissed anyone off officially, but when I left at the end of the nigth, a group of hispanic dudes were screaming at the bouncer, calling him a nigger and I guess I took offense, despite the world thinking I am racist, I really find that kind of behavior unacceptable. So I probably said something that triggered something in one of the dudes, who happened to not be hispanic, but brown, and as soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk he fuckin’ bitch slapped me full force, with a running fuckin’ start and got be right on my ear. The bouncers who I know made me go back inside and before I did, I kept asking him if he was going to make me eat out his vagina and shit like that. My ear is blocked and ringing. I am hungover and the whole thing was fuckin’ ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as Fergie’s ass in these jeans.

Posted in:Fergie|France|Pants

2009

18

May

Tara Reid’s Got France in her Pants Pics of the Day

Tara Reid’s heart may be close to death from all the cocaine she’s done over the years. You know, one more line and bitch gets Heath Ledgered/River Phoenixed/Chris Farleyed/John Belushied.

But she’s never gonna be dead to me.

Here she is in a bikini in Cannes showing off that sometimes a set of fake tits are like the cherry on the sundae, even though I hate fake tits, not to mention knowing the kind of partying this bitch has gone through over the years, I am sure their perkiness would be a nice change of pace from her sloppy, mangled, hanging vagina.

Here she is after partying….

Here she is arriving in Cannes….

Posted in:Bikini|France|Tara Reid|Tits

2008

24

Sep

Brad Pitt Shot a Commercial in France With Some Hot Pussy of the Day

So Brad Pitt shot a commercial in France because they probably paid him a lot of money and since he’s trying to make some ties in the country that his kids were born in and he did it with some old chick in a bikini.

Old chicks are pretty fucking amazing, despite being pretty fucking rotten to look at. They just have this “who gives a fuck” attitude that younger girls don’t have. It’s like they reach a certain age and they either give up on life, or try to hold onto their youth and the only competitive advantage they have to younger girls is that they aren’t scared to do it. They aren’t self conscious, they will get naked anywhere. They aren’t reserved, they will fuck you anywhere. They aren’t up to date on the trends, so you can fuck them without a condom, but the only problem is that when you fuck them, you just don’t feel anything but an empty hole and dry flesh that is comparable to a loose gripped masturbation session but the dryness doesn’t lead to a rash because there is barely any friction as you you hardly touch the walls of her vagina no matter how well hung you are…..It’s a lot like shoving your dick between your wife’s fat rolls only less moist, come on, I can’t be the only one who’s done that….

Posted in:Bikini|Brad Pitt|France|Grandma

2008

26

May

Lindsay Lohan in France with a Little Bikini of the Day

Everyone seems to care about Lohan in her bikini, but no one seems to ever care about what I am wearing. Well, I am tired of the attention being diverted from me and will tell you this..I have a brown shirt on, sure it started out white about 8 years ago, but these things happen.

Posted in:Bikini|France|Lindsay Lohan

2008

27

Feb

Marion Cotillard’s Sex Scene of the Day

French people do sex better than American people, at least the do in movies and in advertising and in TV because unlike America, they aren’t scared of sex and I guess would rather see girls getting naked and fucked than seeing buildings blow up in movies, and being a pervert, I can totally appreciate that.

There was a time when I would only rent movies based on the rating and nudity warning and ended up with a lot of movies from France that had full penetration in mainstream movies and shit just made sense to me. If the people in the movie are acting or simulating reality, then the sex should be real too. These actors are getting paid tons of money and I can’t imagine why they’d want to fake fucking when they can just really fuck instead and I guess the French were up on that too.

Either way, here is a compilation of the French Actor, Marion Cotillard who won the the Academy award last week in a bunch of nude scenes, because you gotta get your start somewhere, and when in France, that start usually means getting naked.

Posted in:Academy Award|France|Marion Cotillard|Nude Scenes|Pussy|Tits|Uncategorized