I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want…..these big black titties to fall out of her dress….but I never get what I want…

You wanna know a funny Scary Spice story? Back in 1997 when they released their first video, Mel B’s nipple were hard in a green shirt, and I didn’t have internet at the time, and would watch MTV waiting for that video to drop to jerk off to it.

I guess that makes her kinda like my girlfriend, even if she’s old and fat now….which doesn’t bother me because back in 1997 I was old and fat too….we are two who became one.

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I’ll tell you what I want…what I really really want…and it is probably what Mel B wants…what she really really wants…and that’s her hard nipple in music videos Spice Girl’s first video body back…but that was 2 decades ago…before the illegitimate babies with Eddie Murphy…and before the replacing working out and cocaine with eating….but there’s still something magical about this angle of her….and I think it’s that magic is that you haven’t died or thrown up staring at it..pretty gross….

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Like eating a vegan sausage at a lesbian bar….her are some pics of Mel B, the Spice Girl better known as Eddie Murphy’s jump off he accidentally knocked up…but denied knocking up…cuz that’s what you do with whores who are just out to ruin your life…provided they don’t have the resources to file for paternity tests like the whores I know… allowin you to change your name, move and pretend it never happened….and not paying out millions to a bitch who doesn’t need millions…all cuz she wanted the world to know she’s not a whore with a fatherless child…when really she is a whore with a fatherless child…I mean unless the new husband grabbing her ass like a farm animal in heat has taken up the job….there’s always a sucker willing to stepfather for hot ass…..

Posted in:Mel B

What better way to celebrate America’s Independence from England by rocking a British flag bikini, like her fucking career didn’t rely heavily on America, and her fortune wasn’t because America bought into her UK pop act, and like she doesn’t own property in America, or let American iconic comedians knock her up even though they deny it….

Blatently choosing sides, shwoing who she is loyal to, who her heart is with…true to her native land….without remembering the hard fact that America won, and she’s on the losing side…..but I guess you could have come to that conclusion based on her mom body….

Oh wait that’s an Australian flag….whatever…this isn’t a geography class people…it is a mom in a bikini…..

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Mel B squeezed her Eddie Murphy illegitimate baby making body into a tight dress that i thought was see through but that turns out to just be another fat black chick in a dress a few sizes too small for her and if I really needed to see this, I just had to go to fucking Walmart, that shit is filled with both black and white momma’s, all tits out, with fatherless kids in clothes too tight…..but I guess this is actually easier…

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Here are some new mom who was already a mom nipples I once jerked off to when the Spice GIrls first hit MTV with their single that featureed Mel B’s hard nipples back before the internet brought porn into my life and I didn’t have to resort to MTV for masturbation material… before she was a mom but still rockin’ wild nipples…

These new mom who was already a mom nipples who were once just hard nipples in a music video…with a mind of their own nipples…are entertaining nipples…even when leaving Walmart or CVS doing errands like the immigrants I saw fighting over a bin of maxi pads with their kids in tow last night….and there’s everything erotic about that.

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I don’t have the rights to these pics…but click the link at the bottom cuz they are fucking worth trying masturbating to…

Someone better fire me as the president of the drunken pervert chapter of the Spice Girls fan club we call “we can’t let go of a nipples in video we once jerked off to before the internet”…

Cuz I had no idea Mel B was pregnant, but now, I’ll forever have it etched into my mind thanks to an inappropriate choice in swimwear.

I am a firm beleiver that pregnancy is only a beautiful thing to other women….

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Mel B proves that stupid tits, even when being pushed the up as hard as they can and being shown off as much as they fucking can, they do not erase a bitches manly, haggard, crackhead with AIDS and Hepatitis lookin’ face…..but it does a good job making me look the fuck away from it to get my 5 dollars I gave her to lick my ass worth….

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Scary Spice was showing off some of her stupidly big tits I used to jerk off to before she was a mom, back when she was the hard nippled in music videos when I was stealing cable and before I had internet, leaving me little options to get off…it was a simpler time when throat fucking porn wasn’t the norm and people had to get creative in their masturbation…when it meant drilling a peep hole into your adopted sister’s room, using Victoria’s Secret catlogs, National Geographic or breast cancer awareness pamphlets with surivior pictures, and I am sure many worse things if I tried to think about it, you did what you had to do…and as her baby daddy, comedian Eddie Murphy, who wanted nothing to do with her can atest to, Mel B was unfortunately one of those things…

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I realize that Mel B is probably pushing her mid 40s by now, and that no one in their mid 40s have sex appeal, but I guess it’s just hard to come to terms with, when the person in her mid 40s who has no sex appeal, is a bitch you jerked off to 15 years ago cuz she always had hard nipples in her music videos….

I guess these pics are of Mel B reminding us that if everything didn’t work out as amazing as it did for her, she could have always resorted back to being a crack whore…

Or maybe she’s just reminding us of how depressing growin’ fat and old is….

Or maybe she’s not trying to remind us of anything, cuz her scam has been pulled already and she’s just riding that shit totally oblivious to the outside world…and really who fucking cares…there’s no reason for this post and I don’t know why I fucking posted it…I just wasted my time….but I guess that’s the story of my life…

All this to say…bitch needs to get back on dancing with the stars, cuz this baggy dress doesn’t hide the fact that she’s taken her manly abs and traded them in for something all kinds of dumpy….

That’s all I have to say about that…

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I hate guys who talk about when they jerk off. I just find it irritating conversation, not cuz it’s gay or cuz it turns me on, but because I don’t really care about when you’ve lowered yourself to your carnal urges and found a quiet and private corner to go at yourself like some kind of monkey in the fucking zoo. I don’t know why anyone would ever talk to their buddies about that shit. It’s just weird….that was until today, because back in 1997 when I had very few options cuz of no internet, no DVD or VHS player and no magazines, I jerked off to Mel B’s tits in the Spice Girl videos. We have gone a long way from being able to get off to some 28 year old’s hard nipples in a green tank top to now only being able to get off to throat fucking in circus costume porn cuz I’ve been desensitized….or maybe it’s cuz Mel B looks like a fucking monster and couldn’t keep me mesmorized with her titties…but the good news is that as fetishes change…maybe monster looking women will be the new throat fucking. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

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I wonder if Mel B’s fate would have worked out a little differently if she had named herself “Dainty Spice”, or “Lady Spice”, or “Attractive Spice”, or “I Don’t Have Boxer’s Face Spice”, or “I’m not built like my cock is bigger than my delts Spice”….

I don’t know what the fuck is going on here, but it’s definitely fucking scary, so I guess we can’t get mad at her for false marketing, she warned us this was coming…I just had no idea it would be this bad…

Pics via Bauer

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