I did a TOP 7 or 8 Bikini Harlem Shake videos which was really the first 7 or 8 Harlem Shake Videos I saw with bikini….and in keeping up with all thing viral and internet video trend….the people at SI shot this Harlem Shake video with all their models who were in Vegas for the magazine launch….and ironically none of them were in bikinis…but like all Harlem Shake videos…it’s worth the watch….
I don’t know who wasted their time compiling the last 500 years in SI Swimsuit covers, but I just spent an hour putting them up, for no fucking reason, and the entire time I was asking myself “who fucking cares about the last covers, no one jerks off to the covers”…and who really cares to see a retrospective of how bodies have changed due to diet and hormones in the food….and unless you like wacking off to bitches who are dead or near dead….there is no real point in this…but for some reason…a reason I call SI fever…even though SI doesn’t give me any love and I don’t give a shit about their photoshoots…I’m still going to post it cuz I am in too deep…and I guess I should celebrate just how repetitive and lacking of creativity, in a “there’s only so much you can do with a girl in a bikini”, you can see when it is all laid out in front of you…
ALL THE PICTURES / DATES AND MODELS AFTER THE JUMP
I had no idea that it was that Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition time of year. Maybe it’s because I am not a jock or into sports and feel like the best place to find my masturbation material is on the internet searching “gaping teen prostitutes with two dicks in their asshole”, but I know a lot of guys get excited when already established bikini/lingerie models get into their bikinis and lingerie, have their nipples photoshopped out, all because it makes their subscription to this shit finally make sense and worth reading.
Sure SI adds a few athlete’s and athlete wives into the bikini mix, they do the whole body painted shit, and I’ve jerked off to the magazine before, but that was in 1988 to Elle Macpherson, when nipples and porn weren’t all that available to a good Catholic 18 year old boy like me, so SI needs to get with the program and start taking spread eagled vagina shots of these whores because we all know these model bitches will do it and still can’t believe how much they get paid to just stand there in a bikini and have there pictures taken, there waiting for the catch, because if it’s too good to be true it usually is, they’ve just never been asked.
So Bar Refaeli is the new cover girl….I guess Jews Really Are Taking Over the World….
Here’s the video….
BONUS – Here’s Some Brooklyn Decker Body Paint Pictures….
And the Video…
I am sure a lot more pictures and videos are going to hit. I have to decide whether to bother with another post or just keep feeding this one or maybe I’ll just link you to the source, that sounds a lot easier and they have a staff to make these things better quality than I can, so even if those pieces of shit aren’t paying me to link, I’m just gonna link them anyway. See how complicated my life is?
To See All the SI VIDEOS of the Models and Athletes and there are a fucking lot of them…Follow this link: GO
To See All the SI Photos of the Models and Athletes and there are a fucking lot of them…Follow this Link…. GO
To See All The Girls Get Body Painted…Follow This Link… GO
Marisa Miller was on Letterman to promote the SI Swimsuit Edition talking about when she found out she was on the cover, body painting and other really life changing stuff like being fully shaved. It’s not very exciting but since she’s a bigger deal now than she was a week ago. Someone told me that she had breast implants but she claims she’s never had surgery. Maybe that’s some kind of covering her ass situation but from lookin’ at her tits I am going to go with real. None of this really matters, what does matter is that they cut to her billboard. So watch it them legs in action….
People hate going to movies to me, which is expected because people generally hate doing anything with me, but they specifically hate going to movies with me because I gripe and groan about all the shitty jokes being thrown in my face while the rest of the theatre laughs and the more laughs the movie gets the more pissed off I get. People call me a joke snob because I write this site and they think that I think I am the funniest motherfucker and no one can compete and that when I watch the movies I get bitter because these hacks are making millions while I am sitting on my shitty Salvation Army couch. The truth is that I am not really a joke snob, I don’t think I am funnier than these famous motherfuckers, I don’t think that I could do better than them, because if I could I probably would be. I just don’t laugh, because I am broken on the inside.
Here are some Heidi Klum acting a fool with not so funnyman Will Farrell doing some stupid photoshopped to shit photoshoot for SI, but Heidi Klum proves that with a little photoshop, having kids isn’t always so destructive to your body, but I guess none of us really know the damage Seal’s done to her box with her African Warrior spear he keeps hidden in his singing pants.
I walked into a coffee shop earlier today and I sat next to two middle aged mothers who were on some kind of gossip date. They were talking about their friend who caught her husband fucking a hooker in a motel room after following him around all night because she didn’t trust his shit. They started off bitching about how sick of a person the husband was for doing what he did and then one of them went off about the whore calling her job disgusting. She said something like “I don’t know how a woman does it?” or some shit and I pulled out a 5 dollar bill, walked up to her and told her that I could show her. She didn’t laugh and told me to fuck off so I guess prostitution isn’t so easy, even though we’re all whores in our own way. Like I am a whore to this website. I’ve been sitting here waiting for this programmer to give me something to work with and I couldn’t figure out what else to do with myself and I don’t even get $5 everytime I suck it’s dick….
Either way, here are the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue with Marisa Miller on the cover. You’ve probably already seen them already- but I felt obligated to post them regardless because just because the site is down, doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to do posts. Yes, my life is that depressing and the real depressing thing is that I am even more depressed without the site than with it.
Marisa Miller Body Painted
Ana Beatriz Barros
There are a hell of a lot more pictures out there. Just buy the magazine you cheap fuck.