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Archive for the Adriana Lima Category

2010

19

May

Adriana Lima’s Mom Tits for Spanish Vogue of the Day

4 Comments »

Unlike her counterparts, like Gisele and Alessandra Ambrosio, who seem to have thought getting knocked up together was a great idea so their babies could grow up together, like they used to model together, Adriana Lima, the hottest of the three, clearly didn’t bounce back as proper as the other girls, but then again, there is no proof that Gisele even has a vagina so her post-pregnancy body isn’t a post-pregnancy body and Ambrosio could just be a freak of nature, where as Lima covering her gut and showing off milk-filled tits, is the way motherhood is supposed to look and I can look past it but just because Adriana Lima will always be that Virgin Catholic girl in lingerie to me….

The same issue featured some model named Masha Novoselova showing some nipple, continuing to prove that fashion mags are good for under-the-radar masturbation….

No I didn’t just raid my wife’s Vogue Spanish Vogue issue, my wife doesn’t read fashion magazines, her idea of being fashionable is not having half her fat ass hanging out of her elastic waistband pants….

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Tits

2010

04

May

Adriana Lima’s Come Back Video of the Day

5 Comments »

Adriana Lima is probably one of the hottest models. Sure I liked her before, back when she was a good Catholic Virgin, it made the whole fantasy of seeing her half naked a hell of a lot more interesting, but I get that all girls must give it up every now and then, so when I saw her Come Back video being promoted, I figured I’d do my part to contribute as she is fucking hot and seeing her back int he model scene with her post mom ripped up pussy is better than nothing….So most of this video is her boxing and I’m not into violent bitches who know how to hurt me….but ya know…again it’s better than not seeing her at all….Adriana Lima is fucking hot….violated or not…so watch the video….

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Come Back|Model

2009

10

Jun

Adriana Lima Sex Tape That Isn’t Her Sex Tape of the Day

7 Comments »

People are saying this is the Adriana 40 minute porn scene that was shot before she was a super model.

I don’t really do good with face recognition and shit like that, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it is true.

So many girls fuck on camera, it’s just the world we live in, whores are whores and people seem to still want to fuck them because fucking is fun.

If it is her, it puts the rumors of her being a virgin all those years to rest, I mean not that it matters since she’s pregnant and married now, but I like living in the past.

I guess she could have blocked this out, seeing as it is pretty uneventful, maybe even a low point in her life, or maybe since she just takes it up the ass in the parts I saw, she is technically a virgin, just not a very wholesome one you’d expect her to be, but crazy Catholic people take shit literal, so I guess getting paid to fuck on camera is okay if not in the pussy, but none of that really matters, Lima is one of the hotter girls out there, so this, if it is reality should be exciting for you.

NSFW….and I seriously doubt this is her….I mean it doesn’t look like her at all….I feel bad for lying to you motherfuckers and saying it was….But this seriously was emailed to me…and I figured any excuse to post hardcore porn on the site is good enough for me….

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Sex Tape

2009

20

May

Adriana Lima and Her Nipples of the Day

16 Comments »

These pictures of Adriana Lima are doing the rounds and no one seems to know when they are from and I guess who really cares. They are Adriana Lima’s fucking nipples and she’s probably the hottest thing out of Victoria’s Secret since that bra and pantyset I bought myself for “halloween” last July. What used to make Lima even hotter than being hot was the fact that she was a good catholic virgin, unfortunately that fantasy’s been destroyed because she’s supposed to be married and pregnant, but that’s okay, because virginity just means blood, discomfort and bad sex. The only real good thing about virgins is that you can’t get Aids from them, unless they’ve had blood transfusions or done anal with faggots or blacks.

Speaking of Aids, I was talking to this girl the other night who asked me what my parents did, since I don’t have parents, I had to be creative about the lie, something I’ve been doing for a long time and I am good at, so I told her that my family invented the condom and I come from a long line of condom people and she made some comment about how I have no excuse but to have safe sex or something implying that I use condoms and I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea and think I was one of those prudes, because I’m not.

So I went on a rant about being a self-hating heir to the condom empire and everytime I fuck I make sure to not use condoms while screaming “Fuck you dad for ruining my life” like some kind of spoiled brat, only to proudly disply my herpes scab at Christmas fucking dinner so that he fucking knows.

She thought I was weird. So it may be a bad approach, but here’s Lima nipple to forget my story and move on with your life…

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Nipples

2009

11

May

Adriana Lima’s Tits Pose with Perfume of the Day

2 Comments »

Someone told me that Adriana Lima is pregnant. That’s okay, I had no real chance with her anyway. I like to think it’s gotta do with the language barrier, or with the fact that our people and their people just don’t get along, but the truth is that I’m probably not her type, and let’s be real, I’ve never crossed paths with her, so it was obviously not meant to be. Plus she’s too fuckin’ religious and boring. I like my models and celebrities addicted to sex, drugs and the party, not addicted to Jesus. Sure, the whole virgin from Brazil because of her deep passion for the Catholic church was kinda hot in theory, but not as hot as her tits. Here she is promoting some bullshit for her keepers at Victoria Secret, you know, because they own her.

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Perfume|Tits

2009

11

Feb

Adriana Lima and Doutzen Kroes Promoting Some Valentines Day Shit for Their Owners of the Day

1 Comment »

When your job involves you wearing lingerie, seeing you in lingerie gets played out pretty fast, so the masterminds at Victoria Secret were not only smart enough to kidnap these girls off the global human sex trade, but knew to limit their half naked time, and make them spend some time out of the lingerie, unfortunately holding lingerie it while fully clothed and not on the floor of some dingy basement after paying some Russian dude 100 dollars to have your way with the twos of them like we’re supposed to be doing….

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Doutzen Kroes|Lingerie

2008

12

Sep

Adriana Lima Does Ugly Betty of the Day

6 Comments »

Adriana Lima was on the set of Ugly Betty this week with Lohan and I assume it is because she plays herself and comes to one of the characters in a dream or something equally ridiculous like as that Ugly main character’s better lookin sister who lives a better life than her and who she has always been jealous of, or maybe she’s playing Lohan’s lesbian lover since it will contribute to Lohan’s lie that is her sexuality because the truth is she’s taking a break from dick because she’s already fucked everyone and is waiting for some new blood to come in, that’s the only explanation for that Snowboarder she met in rehab, but I’ve never seen the show and the only way I’d watch it is if a plane crashed into it and killed everyone on it. Get it a bad September 11 joke which is always more offensive than a good September 11 joke….what? Too soon?!

BONUS THAT’S NOT REALLY A BONUS – LOHAN ON SET OF UGLY BETTY CUZ THIS SHOW IS PULLIN’ ALL THE STOPS…AND REALLY TAKING OVER…..LIKE HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER….ONLY WITH LESS GAY CAST….I’M TALKING TO YOU NEIL PATRICK HARRIS….

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Ugly Betty

2008

13

Jun

Adriana Lima’s Hard Nipples Go On a Walk of the Day

6 Comments »

I made the mistake of getting completely wasted and by mistake I mean the right choice that ended with me at home with a couple of hot 18 year olds drinking a bottle of wine my wife bought for our anniversary a couple of weeks ago and wanted to keep as a momento, without realizing that I am an alcoholic and can’t deal with being that close to booze for too long without drinking it but I knew she’d be fucking furious when she found out.

Anyway, we all ended up passed out on my couch and it was the closest thing I’ve had to a threesome in years and the good news was that the 2 girls pissed my wife off so much that she didn’t even notice I drank her wine.

Here’s Adriana Lima’s hard nipples to start this glorious afternoon.

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Hard|Nipples

2008

19

Mar

Adriana Lima Naked for GQ of the Day

11 Comments »


I don’t really care about photoshoots because they are all white washed, airbrushed and not real life, but I figure since I always complain about how busted some of these celebrities look in bikinis on the beach, I’d throw up this naked Lima pictures from GQ because she’s got a hot body.

The last time I was on the beach was a long time ago the only bitches who get half naked or topless seem to be European middle aged women who have had so many kids that their old lady floppy tits and ravaged loosed skinned stomachs aren’t something they are insecure about anymore, it’s something they’ve grown to accept, because if they didn’t then they’d be forced to jump off a bridge or some shit. It’s the equivalent of a fat lady wearing jogging pants out in public because the elastic waistband is he only thing that fits. It’s never the tight bodied teen lookin’ for a tan to bring home to her boyfriend who runs around with her hot body naked. So being a pervert, I was forced to stare at any nipples the ocean offered but I wasn’t very happy about it.

Here are those Adriana Lima pics because this shit never happens in real life….

Watch the Behind the Scenes Photoshoot Video You Pervert.

Posted in:Adriana Lima|GQ|Photoshoot

2008

05

Mar

Adriana Lima and Karolina Kurkova Pose With Bras the Wrong Way of the Day

5 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Karolina Kurkova and Adriana Lima playing around with bras like a couple of ten year old boys who just snuck into their sister’s underwear drawer or maybe like a couple of teenage girls celebrating the purchase of their first bra for their budding breasts by doing some kind of ceremonial dance that I wasn’t invited to watch because their mom’s are worried it’ll turn me on or some shit.

I find the whole thing pretty offensive, not because I am against girls wearing bras or celebrating bras, even though bras act as some kind of defensive shield that stand between me and nipples, but I am against girls who normally promote bras by wearing bras showing up to an event in lame T-shirts to promote bras like they are standing at the mall trying to get me to sign-up for a credit card or donate blood. If I wanted to see bitches in t-shirts, I wouldn’t be sitting next to the changing room at a panty store, hoping to sneak a peak, I’d be at the Gap hoping to see a soccer mom in ill-fitting jeans and an oversized shirt posing in front of the mirror trying to make sure it hides her pregnancy weight that she hasn’t been able to kick the last 15 years because she like cookies too fuckin’ much.

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Bra|Karolina Kurkova