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Archive for the Anastasia Ashley Category

2014

18

Feb

Anastasia Ashley in my Hotel Room in a Bikini of the Day

Anastasia Ashley is a lovely delicate flower sent from heaven to make your life a happier place, she’s also a pro surfer, who lives an amazing life and has an amazingly fit body…that is currently being celebrated in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT

She’s also a friend…who works hard at what she does…and who I try to support and endorse whenever I get the chance…because she is inspirational to people like me who don’t like getting off the couch…who fear dying or being eaten by sharks…and who don’t really want to post pics of my ass on instagram, but who I am happy to know, and who I am happy does it, because I get to watch from the sidelines…

To say I am her number 1 fan, probably an understatement…I am all about her hustle, fuck I’d carry her purse to set if she let me and it was nice to see her nipples…get a little harder…for the rest of the world…

Long before the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit happened…we did a fun photoshoot with STEVEN MEIERS (THE BEST PHOTOGRAPHER KNOWN TO MAN – SERIOUSLY HE WILL BE THE NEXT TERRY RICHARDSON) on the balcony in my hotel room in LA and I should have masturbated in the corner…but instead I did it on the on the balcony while sniffing the railing after she left…sometimes being a pathetic loser…is pretty alright.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

18

Feb

Anastasia Ashley and the Rest of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit of the Day


It’s no secret that the hottest thing in women’s sports right now is Anastasia Ashley or at least her bikini clad surfer ass…

So it is no shock to anyone, or at least me, who as far as I’m concerned is everyone, since none of you exists, that her amazing bikini clad ass was featured in Sports Illustrated…

I guess Sports Illustrated figured we’ve already seen her in a bikini 1000 times before, why not show off her fit as fuck body…by showing us her NIPPLES…I like their logic…because I like nipples…

It’s like Sports Illustrated was some kind of soft core porn mag…yet people still advertise with them…

Point of the story is that Anastasia has never looked better, except when she wakes up after a night of drinking, and is, as far as I’m concerned, the show stopper of the entire issue…

I am surprised she hasn’t been in every one of their issues before, since she’s be surfing professionally for years, and I hope this gets her recognized by the masses so that she can continue to produce more show stopping surfing and more importantly more show stopping bikini pics…

There are few people in the world who I can say I love. She’s one of them….Good job. Let’s cuddles. FINAL LIMONADA.

TO SEE THE REST OF HER PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

23

Jan

Anastasia Ashley’s Doing the Rihanna Paddleboard Pic of the DAy

Anastasia Ashley keeps instagram fun. Whether it’s with her surfer ass or her doing parodies of celebrity bikini pics….I always get a good laugh…then a good cry….because I always cry when I want to masturbate but can’t because all my hard living broke my clit sized buried in fat penis…now to be clear, that wasn’t a crying when masturbating joke, I hate those….but rather just a sad glimpse into my horrible life…a life that Anastasia Ashley’s instagram consistently reminds me is flawed, failed…

Here she is doing the RIHANNA Paddle Board Erotica…which is the only kind of erotica anyone should know!

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

15

Jan

Anastasia Ashley Amazing Surf Butt at a Budweiser Commercial of the Day

Anastasia Ashley is the single best thing to happen to female surfing since the invention of the surfboard…and maybe the bikini…and if you don’t know that, then you don’t pay attention…because I’ve been reminding you consistently the last 6 months….and I am going to assume you have probably already masturbated to her surfing abilities at least once…because I cater to virgin weirdos…and that’s what you people do…

That said, with surfing comes a great round ass, and I love great round asses, and this one is probably the best there is, maybe they best there ever was, maybe the best there ever will be…and it is shooting a commercial…all wet and lovely…attached to it’s lovely and amazing host body Anastasia Ashley…she’s my favorite.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

03

Jan

Anastasia Ashley for PopDat Culture of the Day

Pro surfer Anastasia Ashley is pretty okay to look at, but way more interesting to jerk off to, whether in bikini bottoms or shorts, surfing, or just posing, I am down to lick the sea salt off her entire body…

She’s rocking’ her POPDAT CULTURE TRILL CLINTON SHIRT and I may or may not be in love…but you sure as hell should be…

GET ONE OF THESE SHIRTS

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2013

30

Dec

Anastasia Ashley’s Surfer Butt on the Beach in her Bikini of the Day

2013 has been the year of the surf girl butt…and Anastasia Ashley, has been the single more important surf girl butt. She’s been the most relevant and the most spectacular surf girl butt and in a lot of way she’s been the leader, even the ambassador, even the fucking governor or president, up on some commander in chief of the surf girl…who all the other surf girl butts look up to and aspire to be…

She has been dominating the surf girl butt movement, something that she has been part of since she was 5…but the rest of us only cared about this past year…because I guess surfing is making a comeback, it is one of those aspirational sports that we all wish, even the obese canadians, that we could be a part of it, because you spend your life on the fucking beach with hot women…and seeing girls living that life, with their amazing surf girl butt bodies…is just fucking erotic…enough to want to marry, get pregnant, and start a family with…or inside…ideally with my mouth…

Anastasia Ashley is pretty fucking perfect, I am her number 1 fan and I want her to give my face surf lessons with her vagina… and she’s rocking’ her POPDAT CULTURE SHIRT that you all need.


Get a POPDAT CULTURE SHIRT

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2013

21

Nov

Anastasia Ashley Wearing The Best T-Shirt Ever of the Day

Anastasia Ashley, surf babe you’ve probably already heard of…assuming you read the internet…or watch WHITE GIRL SURF TWERK VIDEO …or if you’ve been to this site before because I track her every move…at least that’s what I tell her telepathically…over twitter…and every once in a while write about it…because I just can’t hold it in…and hope that maybe one day she’ll notice me and decide to be my friend and lover and wife til death do us part…by sitting on my face…and choking me the fuck out.…and by friend and lover and wife I mean whisper romantic words like “security, get this creep out of here” when I run into her at a public event I know she is at because she tagged herself there on the internet…and introduce myself…hey, it’s better than a restraining order…

Well, today the internet brought me this ridiculous, obnoxious, hand job emoji shirt that I love…some people hate…but that is amazing and inspires me to do what it’s telling me to do all over my belly..while staring at this pic…thanks to it being worn with bikini bottoms…and being hot hot hot…unfortunately…I don’t rock an eggplant, but I do rock a baby carrot..and I don’t squirt..I kinda just feel pain…but at least I can live vicariously through this shirt…it’s aspirational…


GET ONE

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2013

29

Oct

Anastasia Ashley in the Best Surf Video Ever of the Day

I have been trying to marry Anastasia Ashley…for the last 3 months. She’s a fucking star on all levels and I love her for more than just her fearless approach to life, her surfing and what one may consider shameless or even exhibitionism on her instagram…

I think is amazing…even if it’s not smeared up against my face…which it should be and the fact that it isn’t makes me sad.

That said, She’s been getting all kinds of shit today on the internet because she posted this video of her ass being amazing before catching a wave, if that’s even surf talk, I’m not really in that world, and I don’t know what’s up in general…maybe that’s why Anastasia won’t marry me…but what I do know is is fit round asses when I see them and it seems like this ass is fit and round and I want to chip my tooth on it…

You see surf girls, even the fat, ugly, troll-like ones all have rocking’ asses…but some get more hate than others and since I want to be her superman…I am here to defend her…

The fact is simple, she’s in a bikini all fucking day, so being in a bikini isn’t a thing for her, it’s like her posing in pants would be more unnatural for her, she’s got a great fit body, that she’s spent her life working on, that she’s clearly comfortable with, and just living, is not exploiting it just cuz she’s showing it….

No one hates on a nurse for posing in her blood and semen covered scrubs…you see this is her fucking uniform…

People can choose to watch her or ignore her, they can even hate on her, even though that’s kinda homosexual, but shitting on her for having a great shitter that happens to go everywhere she goes, because if it didn’t, that would be weird.

Girl surfers, no matter how good they are, are second rate to the men. Their prize money is shit, they need to work their asses off for sponsors who pay them whatever is left from their budget that isn’t spent on dudes, and their entire existence and ability to surf full-time depends on being spokesmodels to their brands…All surfers do this….

So the reality is, this Anastasia angel sent from heaven to ruin my life bitch can surf, she wins, she’s insane, she’s got a bigger personality than the waves she kills herself on, she works hard on surfing daily, and her ass is just her fucking ass…but here she is being hated for what is probably the best video ever, but I may just be saying that cuz I am smitten with her.

You see the industry treats these girls like models, people want these pictures and videos, their livelihood depends on it, but when they happen, everyone takes a “Higher than thou” stance, and hate on it, when really they are all the reason for it….and really what’s the big fucking deal…she’s in a fucking bathing suit surfing yo….chill the fuck out.

I am glad this video happened, because it gives us all something to compare our wife’s shitty, lazy, boring asses to…it gives me hope of one day shoving my tongue up in this….

It’s not like she’s released a sex tape to get a reality show like Kim Kardashian and all the other fame whores…she’s a suffer and this is a surf video…It’s not like she posted this and emailed all the blogs asking for it to be posted…she’s just a fucking surfer and you’re all just a bunch of perverts for thinking it’s just a strategic gratuitous ass video…and even if it was…I’ll take two more…

People just like to hate…and the only thing I hate is that Anastasia Ashley won’t be my Valentine for the rest of time…til death do us part….like we were Final Destionada….

All this to say, I wish I was her wet suit…just for a day…all covered in her pee…it would be magical…we’re all allowed to have dreams….

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2013

18

Oct

Anastasia Ashley Does the Kim Kardashian Fake Selfie of the Day

Yesterday, Kim Kardashian posted a photoshopped picture that she pretended was a selfie, but that was clearly a picture taken by a photographer, and edited by a photographer, because Kim Kardashian is a lying famewhore pig who doesn’t fuck around with her “social media”…because you have a team of people who do it for you…and when they do…they try to get as much buzz as possible…because the Kardashians are finally falling off, unfortunately not a dying breed, but still irrelevance is looking and that excites me…but not as much as if OJ took them out instead of his actual wife back in the 90s.

Last night, the lovely pro surfer Anastasia Ashley, who clearly has a “good sense of humor”…decided to show the world that “sense of humor”…with a pic of how a white one piece is meant to look on a bitch taking a selfie in front of a room divider…it’s like what can’t this babe do…from big wave surfing during the day, to taking bikini selfies that make fun of the lowest pile of shit in the corner of pop culture…and I guess we shouldn’t look too much into it, but rather we should look in her soul, by way of her fit, round, surfer ass I would, and have tried to chip a tooth on at least once…

The whole thing was so well played and I am not just saying that because she is the love of my life, my favorite person, my soul mate who just doesn’t know it yet, the girl I write love songs and love poetry about locking in my basement after drugging her and abducting her in my van because it shows how much I care even when she doesn’t cooperate or give back…and I just hope her next play is a sex tape starring me, that we film tonight…after we get married…like I was lyonsada….connected at the soul like it soul like it was Final Destination 5….

All this to say, she’s so silly and I got a kick out of this pic…post more….and by post more I mean…let me get you pregnant.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2013

16

Sep

Anastasia Ashley Rockin’ her stepSHIRT of the Day

Anastasia Ashley may not be your conventional babe. She’s athletic not anorexic. She’s got real tits not implants, and the only eating shit that we know of is on the wave when she’s surfing professionally, and not in the bathroom of some Beverly Hills Mansion for some rich dude who is paying for her, like all these other hookers I talk about.

She is perfection, maybe even a dream girl sent from heaven to win my heart…like a trip to Disneyworld brings joy to a kid dying of cancer….she is the make a wish foundation for my cold dead heart…and I am not just saying that because she’s wearing a Drunkenstefather stepSHIRT …I am saying that because it is true.

She’s goin’ places, unfortunately none of those places are into my anal sex dungeon in may basement, where I’d feed her twice a day in the cage she’s held captive in, if you know what I mean, because you can’t spell true love or real passion without forced imprisonment…I am just a romantic like that…cages in basements are no different than actual marriage…other than less cheating on each other with the neighbors…because there are no neighbors in cages in the basement…and sometimes cages in basements are the only way to get your point across and or anal sex….

I don’t know what I’m saying, but I do know I would love to get this girl pregnant…and never leave her side…even if this is as good as it gets…her wearing one of my shirts…never to be heard from again…at least we’ve had this moment…which is okay cuz I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life…

I’ve peaked.

Get your own stepSHIRT to slaughter at Drunkensweatshop.com

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|drunkensweatshop|stepEXCLUSIVE|stepSHIRTS