Bikinis Archives - Page 2 of 2 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

24

Nov

Some Twins in Bikinis Trying To Get Attention in the UK of the Day

A set of Twins in the UK, who I guess were doing a publicity stunt or a contest for Zoo magazine, showed up to X-Factor with some posters trying to get noticed and I guess it worked because I don’t give a fuck about X-Factor and I really don’t even give a fuck about these tacky bitches, despite how easy they obviously are, proven by their trashy slut hairstyle, probably because my Twin-fetish dried up with all the posts I’ve done on the Good Charlotte Sisters……they’ve ruined twin sex for me, but I am posting the pics anyway…maybe Zoo will return the favor and put me on the cover of their magazine….ideally in a bikini, its a fetish….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Attention Whores|Bikinis|Girls

2009

03

Aug

Model DJ Duo Kellie Acreman and Lauren Pope in Bikinis of the Day

2 Comments »

This is one of those two ugly sluts are better than one ugly slut, but don’t quite equal one good lookin’ slut. It’s what threesome rationale is made of. You know when you’re out getting drunk and you have the option to call your regular jump off, or go home with these two busted chicks who are willing to give you a double blowjob, that you take for the experience, and because the fact that there is two of them outweighs the fact that they are dumpy. It is the same reason these two dumpy girls at the stripclub I frequent try to sell lesbian shows, because no one books their solo dances, and this lesbian fantasy gets them paid.

Their names are Kellie Acreman and Lauren Pope, I have no idea who they are, but they claim to be DJs , DJs I assume play horrible music, who can’t mix and who pretty much suck, but who the Ed Hardy crowd think are awesome because they have tits and because they Ed Hardy crowd has no idea what the fucks up.

Posted in:Bikinis|DJs|Kellie Acreman|Lauren Pope|Miami

2009

22

Jun

Kourtney and the Monster Kardashian in Bikinis of the Day

24 Comments »

I saw Kim Kardashian in person in Toronto last night. She was wearing horizontal stripes and looked like her and Kelly Clarkson had just finished a week long vacation at an all you can eat buffet, but I guess compared to her monster sister, she looked dainty and that’s why she’s so sad about her recent move to Miami, bitch worked better than a fuckin’ diet and workout plan, and here she is in her dumpy body showing off her high waisted bikini bottoms you’d expect to see on a mom of 5 at her 60th bithday party at a resort in Dominican or some shit. If you’re under 30 and rockin’ the uterus spanx shit, you know you’re in trouble, not that the monster Kardashian didn’t already know she was in trouble, despite the mirrors in her house bein taken down, she still sometimes catches a reflection in a window….I’m a little more down with the other Kardashian, but let’s be real for a minute, I’d fuck them both.

Posted in:Bikinis|Kim Kardashian|Kourtney Kardashian

2008

03

Jun

Danity Kane Do Bikini for InTouch Weekly of the Day

6 Comments »

Danity Kane is some MTV created pop group that is so multicultural my bullshit alarm is going off in my head. The last time 2 black chicks, 1 asian chick and a couple white chicks spent time together was on the motherfucker city bus. The likelihood of them just hanging out together is so far fetched enough that seeing them sing (badly) together is so out there that it reminds me of watching an episode of the Cosby Show and that only happened then because the white people watching the show, since nothing else was on, were having a hard enough time believing that a black Lawyer and a black Doctor existed and needed a few white people thrown in to justify the money the Cosby’s used to buy that house wasn’t made selling drugs. This post may be shitty but I just thrown off by these lies.

Posted in:Bikinis|Danity Kane|InTouch Weekly

2008

05

May

Pink and Bai Ling Are Friends in Bikinis of the Day

No Comments »

It’s always so exciting when you find out that two celebrities your don’t give a fuck about are friends or lovers. What is more exciting is when you try to figure out exactly how they met each other and make a game out of it with your friends because you are a fuckin’ loser with nothing better to do with your time than worry about this menial bullshit. It’s like – was it backstage at one of Pink’s concerts because Bai Ling has always been a fan of Pink’s music because it really speaks to her even though she doesn’t understand any of the words or maybe it was at a red carpet event where Bai Ling’s nipple was hanging out of her shirt and Pink just needed to suck the fuckin’ thing because it reminded her of her over-sized erect clit that was piercing through her leather pants. I like to think both have the same shitty tattoo artist and are members of the shitty tattoo club, but have a feeling that that club doesn’t really exist because people with shitty tattoos usually love their shitty tattoos and think they are amazing, despite being shitty.

Either way, we know after they sea kayaking, these bitches are going back to Pink’s house, to play with each other’s pink, which in Bai Ling’s case my not be entirely Pink and in Pink’s case may in fact be a penis.

BONUS That’s Not Really a Bonus – Here’s some more pictures of Bai Ling Feeling Herself Up and Showing Some Tit on the Set of the Crank Dat Soulja Boy 2….I take Offense to the Last Picture.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Bikinis|Pink

2008

13

Feb

I am – Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Picture of the Day

No Comments »

I walked into a coffee shop earlier today and I sat next to two middle aged mothers who were on some kind of gossip date. They were talking about their friend who caught her husband fucking a hooker in a motel room after following him around all night because she didn’t trust his shit. They started off bitching about how sick of a person the husband was for doing what he did and then one of them went off about the whore calling her job disgusting. She said something like “I don’t know how a woman does it?” or some shit and I pulled out a 5 dollar bill, walked up to her and told her that I could show her. She didn’t laugh and told me to fuck off so I guess prostitution isn’t so easy, even though we’re all whores in our own way. Like I am a whore to this website. I’ve been sitting here waiting for this programmer to give me something to work with and I couldn’t figure out what else to do with myself and I don’t even get $5 everytime I suck it’s dick….

Either way, here are the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue with Marisa Miller on the cover. You’ve probably already seen them already- but I felt obligated to post them regardless because just because the site is down, doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to do posts. Yes, my life is that depressing and the real depressing thing is that I am even more depressed without the site than with it.

Marisa Miller