Booty Archives - Page 3 of 3 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2008

31

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Some Booty of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Lohan isn’t my internet girlfriend anymore, I’ve moved on from her like everyone else has. I just don’t find her worth harassing anymore and she hasn’t really been that responsive to my emails, phone calls or myspace messages and she’s not very hot. I thought she would be my meal ticket, but I just can’t have this one-way relationship anymore and I have given up.

Last week I reached out to her Lesbian cock on Facebook and she never responded to me so in memory of a Lohan that was once worth fuckin and who was once going to be the girl who makes me relevant, here are some pictures of her from the side in a pair of tight pants that show off her booty. Since I am a fan of booty and tight pants pants are the reason I leave my house and hang out at college campuses like I am the dirty professor until security escorts me out for propositioning random girls to pose naked for me in my art class I don’t actually teach, here’s Lohan’s ass doing good things proving that sometimes weight gain is a good thing since Lohan never had a good ass, the problem with weight gain is that it never stops when the tits and ass are full, and it’s never too long before the stomach and rest of her follows their lead.

See the Images Here
GO

Posted in:Ass|Booty|Lindsay Lohan

2007

15

Nov

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Apple Bottom Like Apples of the Day

2 Comments »

I think she did this shit on purpose. What are the chances of a bitch with an apple bottom posing with fuckin’ apples? It’s like she went out with her on staff paparazzi and was like, people always freak out over my ass, how about we get a shot of me bending over with an apple in hand, it’ll be so funny and ironic and creative and reality is that it’s none of those things, it’s just lame and her ass isn’t comparable to an apple, but more to apple pie and way too much of it. Bitch needs to hit the stair master in a big way, and by big I mean, she’s fat.

I am pretty sick today, been in bed all day, so writing about Kim Kardashians fat ass is about as exciting as waking up with a snot covered face and pillow making me feel like I was just in a gay orgy or some shit.

I don’t know why she’s wearing two different outfits in these pics, I can only assume it’s because she shit herself. I guess that would also explain her shit smeared skin color….it comes with the territory when your ass is that massive. It’s like wondering why your hummer burns so much fuel, not that you have a hummer, you’re too busy being unemployed to ever really afford much more than a skateboard, even though you aren’t even cool enough to skateboard…you’re more of a rollerblader like DJ AM, only he does that shit in bicycle shorts and is so gay that he makes them shorts look straight.

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Kim Kardashian’s Pussy Preview
Kim Kardashian’s Tits are Insane
Kim Kardashian’s Tits Blow Out Candles

Posted in:Apple Bottom|Ass|Booty|Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian's Mom Jeans of the Day

3 Comments »

I was at a bar the other day and I saw 2 chicks making out with each other. They were like half-breed lesbians who didn’t think it was funny when I moved in and asked for a 3-way kiss. They were too busy being into each other and it was pretty much a waste of a hot chick. She looked really hot in her tight skirt and cleavage exposing shirt and the way she moved made her look like a dirty little fuck. She on this sexually liberated experimental kick that girls go through, but she wasn’t in the mood for any cock. Not that I had any cock to offer but they were blowing off dudes from every angle. I don’t think they were pulling the whole frat boy chick making out thing to get guys to look at them but I do think they were legitimately into each other and not doing it for attention, but because they were drunk and horny and were going to go home to fuck the shit out of each other in the scissor stance. I didn’t find it hot to watch and refused to watch the spectacle because I can’t deal with hot lesbians who turn down cock. I can deal with lesbians who look like dudes and wear leather because they are just man hating rape victims and shit, but hot lesbians who I want to fuck but who don’t want anything to do with me or any other penis for that matter but hot chicks who who are into other hot chicks and refuse dick just piss me the fuck off.

Either way, Kardashian may not be into girls and she may be into black dude cock, because black guys are good at working the huge fucking asses but she’s rockin’ a pair of mom jeans, that make her ass look even bigger than usual and that remind me more of the man hating lesbians who work construction and drink been than the hot little sluts who don’t like dudes who I saw the other day. Both are equally annoying.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian and Jenna do Heatherette Fashion Show
Kristen Davis and Kim Kardashian are Friends
Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Mom Jeans of the Day

3 Comments »

I was at a bar the other day and I saw 2 chicks making out with each other. They were like half-breed lesbians who didn’t think it was funny when I moved in and asked for a 3-way kiss. They were too busy being into each other and it was pretty much a waste of a hot chick. She looked really hot in her tight skirt and cleavage exposing shirt and the way she moved made her look like a dirty little fuck. She on this sexually liberated experimental kick that girls go through, but she wasn’t in the mood for any cock. Not that I had any cock to offer but they were blowing off dudes from every angle. I don’t think they were pulling the whole frat boy chick making out thing to get guys to look at them but I do think they were legitimately into each other and not doing it for attention, but because they were drunk and horny and were going to go home to fuck the shit out of each other in the scissor stance. I didn’t find it hot to watch and refused to watch the spectacle because I can’t deal with hot lesbians who turn down cock. I can deal with lesbians who look like dudes and wear leather because they are just man hating rape victims and shit, but hot lesbians who I want to fuck but who don’t want anything to do with me or any other penis for that matter but hot chicks who who are into other hot chicks and refuse dick just piss me the fuck off.

Either way, Kardashian may not be into girls and she may be into black dude cock, because black guys are good at working the huge fucking asses but she’s rockin’ a pair of mom jeans, that make her ass look even bigger than usual and that remind me more of the man hating lesbians who work construction and drink been than the hot little sluts who don’t like dudes who I saw the other day. Both are equally annoying.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian and Jenna do Heatherette Fashion Show
Kristen Davis and Kim Kardashian are Friends
Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass

2007

03

Sep

I am – Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures of the Day

No Comments »

So this high school musical cast is really a hot thing right now. It seems no matter how old I get, teenage girls will be dumb enough to fall for these shit movies and tv shows and they will believe all the hype of the publicity stunt that is the relationship between 2 of the characters. They will still cut his pics out of magazines and put it on their wall like he was Lance Bass in 1999 only to find out that this Vanessa Hudgens – Zac Effron relationship is one based on shopping together, doing each other’s hair and make-up and talking about sucking off boys with each other.

Speaking of taking it up the shit hole, the walls in the shit hole I call home are pretty paper fucking thing and if I am not hearing my neighbors fighting, fucking, shitting or getting high, I am usually asleep or passed out drunk in the corner. Tonight I came home to the song “Love Hurts” on fucking repeat. I thought maybe dude had fallen asleep to that shit but it’s been about 12 hours and it’s still fucking going. I can only assume that asshole tried to Owen Wilson himself, but succeeded, because let’s face it, real suicidal people don’t fuck up for people to find them and pamper them back to happiness, that shit is called a cry for attention and my neighbors statement is “look what you made me do bitch”, provided he is actually dead. I do know that if I hear the song one more time, I may be the motherfucker they are scraping off the pavement but that’s just because I hated it to begin with and 12 hours later, I am starting to hate myself. If the hall starts stinking, I’ll know to call the landlord and complain…maybe I’ll get a free month out of all this…

Here are some pictures of Vanessa Hudgens from high school musical in her bikini, in Hawaii with her fag/boyfriend, playin in the sand, like they are a bunch of queers…which it turns out…they probably are….

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2007

31

Jul

I am – Elizabeth Berkley in a Bikini of the Day

5 Comments »

Elizabeth Berkeley

I drove back to LA from San Diego Monday morning for my last “pay-date” with WR. Things were awkward after I left fingernail imprints on his balls and messed up his back in a fit of angry sex Friday night. So I wasn’t sure what to expect for our last tryst, or what the tone would be, or if he would be able smell that blonde-virgin i slammed Saturday night (men are animals after all).

WR came to the hotel a little skittish. He gave me a Tiffany silver chain bracelet with a heart. You know, that crap every 13 year old girl from Long Island gets before her Bahtmitzvah. Hi, what the fuck? Do I look like a barely pubescent JAP? I’m sure his bitch girlfriend gets gold and rocks. I am smelting that shit down as soon as I get home.

Long story short, I let him know I was calling the shots. I told him he could bend me over the balcony off my room until I got tired, and then we could fuck in the bed. He complied. I bit his nipples, hard. He liked it. I allowed him to sleep with his head nuzzled between my tits. When I awoke, WR was gone and a check filled his place…

I don’t think WR will offer a cross the country money-fuck again, but if he does, I won’t do it. I’m no longer an emotionally cut-off teen-hooker. Sugar Nell’s all grown-up, and won’t take orders from cunts, which makes for a pretty poor prostitute, but an excellent bar slut and back-alley bang.

I am too tired from sliding up and down several cocks across Southern California to connect these pics of Elizabeth Berkeley (Showgirls) to the end of my affair with old trick WR. But here she is recently in a Bikini, looking like an Amazon. She’s got back, and by the time you finish reading this post, I will be back in NY ready again to choose who I fuck and how I fuck them, and all you douches need to do is water me with drinks.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

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I am â€“ Courtney Love Bikini Pics of the Day
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Posted in:Bikini|Booty|Elizabeth Berkeley|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t know when these pictures were taken but they are new to me. What isn’t new to me is how obscene this bitch Kim Kardashian’s ass is. I saw the sex tape, I have seen other pictures out there showing off this massive thing and I know that I don’t like it at all. I know that every hip hop motherfucker out there loves this kind of shit. I have seen many youtube videos of fat asses being shook. I have seen strippers with booty do things I never thought asses could do and I never really fell for it. All I could think about was how many buckets of friend chicken bitch had to eat to make this shit happen. It always represented some nature channel shit to me, like the baboon with the biggest reddest cunt gets noticed by the alpha males, and I guess that never really got me off. What I do know is that Paris Hilton probably could have stuck out her friendship with this Armenian Fashion Accessory because she could hid from the cops between her freakishly big ass cheeks. See I can make bad blog jokes too.

I think the reason I never liked fat ass, even though I married a fat chick, was because I could never get my little penis around the goods and into the right places, it created some kind of barrier that kept people like me out, the reason it worked with my wife was because her ass had no personality, it kind just hung there like a wet towel hanging to dry and was easily moved to the side. It’s a skill I am glad I don’t need to use again.

Either way, today’s not working so well for me, but you can still look at bitches ass and say she should be spending some of Daddy’s inheritance on a personal trainer because one day soon that fucker is going to drop and even though I think she’s fucking dumpy right now, everyone else will too soon and no black dude or white guy trying to be black is going to want to film sex tapes with her anymore and that is pretty much considered failure where this bitch is from…

Posted in:Ass|Booty|Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian's Armenian Ass of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t know when these pictures were taken but they are new to me. What isn’t new to me is how obscene this bitch Kim Kardashian’s ass is. I saw the sex tape, I have seen other pictures out there showing off this massive thing and I know that I don’t like it at all. I know that every hip hop motherfucker out there loves this kind of shit. I have seen many youtube videos of fat asses being shook. I have seen strippers with booty do things I never thought asses could do and I never really fell for it. All I could think about was how many buckets of friend chicken bitch had to eat to make this shit happen. It always represented some nature channel shit to me, like the baboon with the biggest reddest cunt gets noticed by the alpha males, and I guess that never really got me off. What I do know is that Paris Hilton probably could have stuck out her friendship with this Armenian Fashion Accessory because she could hid from the cops between her freakishly big ass cheeks. See I can make bad blog jokes too.

I think the reason I never liked fat ass, even though I married a fat chick, was because I could never get my little penis around the goods and into the right places, it created some kind of barrier that kept people like me out, the reason it worked with my wife was because her ass had no personality, it kind just hung there like a wet towel hanging to dry and was easily moved to the side. It’s a skill I am glad I don’t need to use again.

Either way, today’s not working so well for me, but you can still look at bitches ass and say she should be spending some of Daddy’s inheritance on a personal trainer because one day soon that fucker is going to drop and even though I think she’s fucking dumpy right now, everyone else will too soon and no black dude or white guy trying to be black is going to want to film sex tapes with her anymore and that is pretty much considered failure where this bitch is from…

Posted in:Ass|Booty|Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

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