Here is Sophie Monk rubbing up on Santa Claus like he was one of the Good Charlotte sisters because I guess she misses the touch of another man, or maybe because ever has fond memories of a man dressed in a Santa suit sneaking in her bedroom late on Christmas Eve, only to take off her little panties and have his way with her, telling her not to tell anyone, because it was their little secret because she’s been such a good girl all year and she’s Santa’s favorite, not realizing that it was just her creepy dad molesting her on the one night he knew he could get away with it, since everyone knows Santa doesn’t exist and her story would lose all credibility before it started..or maybe it is because the dude in the Santa suit is the Executive General Manager of V Airlines and she figures she’ll be able to fly home for cheap anytime she needs when she has no money cuz she can’t get work cuz she’s in with him….and none of this is the point of the post…

The point of the post is that my photographer friend told me that when you see someone in this stance, with their hands on their hips and elbows pointed outwards, they are trying to hide the fact that they gained weight. It’s like people see their elbows and ignore their waistline. It is the oldest trick in the fucking book to make themselves look thinner, to hide the fact that they have a gut, thanks to a Good Charlotte internal cumshot that’s left a baby growing inside them that they refuse to abort because they think it means security, stability and it is the best revenge for him leaving her for Paris Hilton before crawling back to her one lonely night in Australia…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Cover-Up|Pregnancy|Santa Claus|Sophie Monk