When I refer to a coinslot, I mean a specific type of vagina. One that isn’t meaty. I am not referring to ass crack, that’s something gay bloggers came up with and it’s made it’s way into the mainstream…but trust me when I say when they are talking about coinslot, they are pretending to talk about asscrack, but they are really talking about her slit….

Either way it’s still nice to watch Lohan talking about slot and dancing around with her raspy just enterted re-hab for being a crystal meth addicted cocksucker voice….

Lohan, if you’re out there, I’ll moisturize your coinslot, we are connected at the soul and that is why I stalk you….

Sometimes you gotta do things for your loved ones you would normally do. In this case, I’d do it even if we weren’t connected at the soul. Fuck, my writing gets pretty fucking lame sometimes..

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When I refer to a coinslot, I mean a specific type of vagina. One that isn’t meaty. I am not referring to ass crack, that’s something gay bloggers came up with and it’s made it’s way into the mainstream…but trust me when I say when they are talking about coinslot, they are pretending to talk about asscrack, but they are really talking about her slit….

Either way it’s still nice to watch Lohan talking about slot and dancing around with her raspy just enterted re-hab for being a crystal meth addicted cocksucker voice….

Lohan, if you’re out there, I’ll moisturize your coinslot, we are connected at the soul and that is why I stalk you….

Sometimes you gotta do things for your loved ones you would normally do. In this case, I’d do it even if we weren’t connected at the soul. Fuck, my writing gets pretty fucking lame sometimes..

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I have just spent the last 2 hours trying to get a girl to send me a picture of her bikini wax but I have no game. I don’t know how to massage the situation and actually make a girl feel sexy. I know that if I had that skill, I wouldn’t be married to the beast I am married to and my internet career would involve a lot more naked pics….I just ask girls straight up if they have nude pics, they always say no, then I ask them to take some, they always say no, then I ask them for pics of their cunt’s and they block and delete me…

I guess I’ll just stick to surfing porn, but there’s something exciting about getting girls you’re talking to to hook you up with pussy pics. The point of all this is to say that if you are a virgin and scared of girls in real life, once you have them on your IM, make them feel sexy, say all the lame shit that you see in movies cuz that’s what they want to hear….

That said, here are my links of the day…I feel like this is a long one….

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I am not writing anything to go along with this picture, I am just posting her tennis panties because it reminds me of a time I used to do landscaping a the local country club and I would stare at all the rich sluts’ asses in their tennis panties when they would bend over to pick up tennis balls…you all want to grand slam this chick but I save it for the courts. Here’s to run on sentences, fuck her and fuck you too if you don’t like how I be typing at 5 am motherfucker.

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These are Golden Globe pics from yesterday and despite trying to boycott the shit, I couldn’t help put post these pictures because the cleavage is next level. There is always something funny about fat chicks in push-up bras and it reminds me of all the nights I’ve spent at pretty shitty bars where all the girls in there were fat. They all used to exploit the shit out of their tits because that’s pretty much all they had going for them. I am sure they were nice people but you could only if they weren’t too busy eating slices of pizza but the only guys who bothered finding out were people like you with not much going for them…

Speaking of not much goin for them, here are Katherine McPhee’s tits…this is where this post ends because I’ve already spent too much time on this whore’s post and like the other posts better….

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These are Golden Globe pics from yesterday and despite trying to boycott the shit, I couldn’t help put post these pictures because the cleavage is next level. There is always something funny about fat chicks in push-up bras and it reminds me of all the nights I’ve spent at pretty shitty bars where all the girls in there were fat. They all used to exploit the shit out of their tits because that’s pretty much all they had going for them. I am sure they were nice people but you could only if they weren’t too busy eating slices of pizza but the only guys who bothered finding out were people like you with not much going for them…

Speaking of not much goin for them, here are Katherine McPhee’s tits…this is where this post ends because I’ve already spent too much time on this whore’s post and like the other posts better….

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I was thinking of writing the DrunkenStepfather tv show, I’m not talking about putting cameras in my shitty apartment, I am talking about hiring Horatio Sanz to play me and the bitch from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape to play my wife, line up two unknown sluts with hot bodies to play my stepdaugthers and show me hanging with homeless men, getting wasted with young girls at hipster events, dealing with the impotency my fat wife caused in my life because after being with her the thought of pussy makes my penis play turtle…Everytime I think about fucking, that rotten cheese and tuna sandwich comes back to me. Someone told me you never forget a smell and I hope to hell that’s not ture…

Anyway, I realized that no one would tune into my show, provided I actually sold to a network and that I really don’t have a story to tell, my life is just as boring as yours, so the dream of the DrunkenStepfather show being the next Seinfeld may be a little fucking crazy, but the dream of Mischa Barton in a bikini have come true..

Unfortunately for you, she realizes that she’s got a shitty dumpster body and that taking off her shorts would be offensive to all of us. Her hips don’t lie, but if they could they would tell her ass that it’s full and plentiful and that the aren’t disproportionate and awkward as a team….Either way, her dogs will always love her because she feeds them, dogs are loyal like that. I’d like to thank her for her consideration….I learned on the Golden Globes that that’s industry so fuck her and fuck you too. That’s my new line of the night…you like it?

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I was thinking of writing the DrunkenStepfather tv show, I’m not talking about putting cameras in my shitty apartment, I am talking about hiring Horatio Sanz to play me and the bitch from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape to play my wife, line up two unknown sluts with hot bodies to play my stepdaugthers and show me hanging with homeless men, getting wasted with young girls at hipster events, dealing with the impotency my fat wife caused in my life because after being with her the thought of pussy makes my penis play turtle…Everytime I think about fucking, that rotten cheese and tuna sandwich comes back to me. Someone told me you never forget a smell and I hope to hell that’s not ture…

Anyway, I realized that no one would tune into my show, provided I actually sold to a network and that I really don’t have a story to tell, my life is just as boring as yours, so the dream of the DrunkenStepfather show being the next Seinfeld may be a little fucking crazy, but the dream of Mischa Barton in a bikini have come true..

Unfortunately for you, she realizes that she’s got a shitty dumpster body and that taking off her shorts would be offensive to all of us. Her hips don’t lie, but if they could they would tell her ass that it’s full and plentiful and that the aren’t disproportionate and awkward as a team….Either way, her dogs will always love her because she feeds them, dogs are loyal like that. I’d like to thank her for her consideration….I learned on the Golden Globes that that’s industry so fuck her and fuck you too. That’s my new line of the night…you like it?

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There are few things I hate more than this tranny-lookin slut if you don’t know who I am talking about your an idiot, there is one person in these pictures with broad shoulders and huge man feet and that one person is Paris Hilton…I wouldn’t expect you to catch on to that because you’re half retarded and your helmet is blocking your vision…but at least you’re here reading this.

Anyway, one of the things I do hate more than this tranny-lookin slut is Bob Sinclair. This motherfucker makes all the cha-chi anthems for pieces of shit like you to dance to and think is hot. I am talking gelling your hair and putting on a pair of leather pants and a tank top to flex your muscles to in the pit at your local club with girls in $5 halter-tops and miniskirts with no panties. I am all for bitches with no panties, but I get seriously turned off when they are feeling the love generation…

Point of the story is that Paris proves she’s just a useless mainstream bitch following trends, she’s got nothing more to offer than the two girls you saw dancing on the speaker last week. Fuck her and fuck you too….Cuddles.

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Thanks to Zini, I just watched a baby cow sucking on some dudes cock like it was it’s mother’s udder and I feel pretty fucking ashamed of myself because I couldn’t help but think how much this cow was at sucking dick than my fat wife and I even think it weighs less than her, but that’s not the point, the point is that this cow give a better fucking blowjob than Keeley Hazell and Paris Hilton too, which isn’t saying much but I just thought I’d throw it out there. I won’t post the cow video because that’s not the kind of site this is, but you’ll just have to imagine it, which you probably do on already, cuz fucking farm animals is the only thing you can get, they never say no.