Based on Eva Mendes career, she’s got no business attending events in clothes.

See her like this is as frustrating as when I run into strippers I have had lap dances from in the grocery store wearing ill fitting sweat suits. It’s like bitch, we know what you do to pay for those potatos and ground beef, start acting your fucking part, you’re not some kind of personal trainer or athlete, you’re a set of stupid fake tits, know your role….and in Eva Mendes’ case that role always involves her naked….for a fucking reason.

Boring.

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I don’t know what this is all about, but I think it’s safe to say that it’s an performance art piece that Eva Mendes came up with to represent the launch of her career, from poor hispanic girl who was destined to strip for 10 dollars a song to rich hispanic girl who ended up stripping in movies for lots and lots of money….you know one of those off broadway shows she wrote to really express herself as an artist….tackling to tough issues in life…like developing relationships with the right penis that lead the a place where the world can jerk off to her titties….I mean what else could this possibly be….

Bonus – here she is dressed like the rainforest where she is from, or maybe it’s a flag from her country of origin, or maybe she’s in blinds her tacky latina grandmother had in her house that she wears for good luck,or to remind us how much better she looks nude…. doin’ some import car modeling,..unfortunately with Will Farrell cuz I hate everything about that guy….His face just makes me want to run him over and over and over until I am sure I have rid the world of the cancer that is him.

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We’ve all seen Eva Mendes Naked in every single movie she’s every been in, that’s kinda her gig, cuz that’s how immigrant hispanic pussy get ahead in life, you know by getting naked and hoping someone will be willing enough to watch so they get paid….whether it is at the stripclub, at J.Lo’s Selena audition, or every job Eva Mendes gets…it’s just the slutty immigrant hispanic pussy way….

It almost seems pointless that she’d even bother wearing clothes to an event, since she’s one of those one-trick-ponies kind of people we’ve all seen naked and who is happy getting naked cuz she knows if it wasn’t in movies, it’d be in snuff films she gets stuck into doin’ with one of her obessesive clients at the stripclub who has a “if she can’t be with me, she can’t be with anyone” philosophy on life…..

I’m just glad this isn’t Ugly Betty….

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Will Farrell owns Funny or Die. Eva Mendes is in his new movie that he’s hoping will be the comeback he needs since all his movies are irritating as fuck and some people can’t handle the fact that they are irrelevant, even if they have a popular website, so in trying to make his movie huge, he is using his hot bodied costar on his website to get any traction he can and unfortunately his movie is going to be a huge deal cuz people are idiots and buy into anything they are told to, but at least I get to see more Eva Mendes as she’s part of his promo campaign…something I never get bored of even if I get real irritated by it and it’s unfunniness.

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Here’s another piece of shit joke from Funny or Die that only gets views cuz they use realy celebrities who I want to fuck in their low quality internet video production…like Eva Mendes…who probably has some of my favorite tits in mainstream movies…and who makes this video worth watching cuz the last few seconds bitch is on all fours…enjoy…

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Sure Eva Mendes may not be doing much in these pictures…She’s sloppy like an off duty stripper on her way to the drug store to get Plan B…but she’s Hispanic and she has money in the bank even after sending out payments to all her lazy relatives, what do you really expect. Hispanics don’t do things….especially when they don’t have to for survival…

But I like her because she gets naked in movies…and I know most actors are whores…but she actually accepts and rationalizes the fact that she will do whatever it takes to get movie roles so that she doesn’t end up on the street doing whatever it takes to get her baby formula…I guess it’s that Hispanic suvival instinct in her where she can go farther being naked on screen than naked in a back alley with a stranger’s big black AIDS dick inside her…

She told W magazine: “I’ve never had a problem with nudity, but I don’t put it out there without a reason – I’m not an exhibitionist – but, honestly, for my art I’ll do anything almost. I’ll go there. I know I walk a fine line between being a respected actor and being what they call a sex symbol. But I’ve never felt objectified. Nothing you see me do is an accident. I might act like it’s an accident but the opposite is true. I’m incredibly calculated when it comes to my career.”

And I always love pussy that rationalizes being a whore…

Here’s a throwback clip of her in her earlier roles doing what she had to do for the part…you know calculated career moves…cuz if she didn’t get naked another Spic bitch woulda got the part…since they are a dime a dozen in America…

Pics via Fame

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