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Archive for the Halle Berry Category

2009

26

Jun

Hurricane Chris Performs for the Government of the Day

7 Comments »

I don’t know what the fuck is up with Louisianna, I do know that I’ve been there before and never wanted to fuckin’ leave, and the case in fuckin’ point is that some dude named Hurricane Chris was asked to come sing his song “Halle Berry ” in the House of Representatives during some Louisianna State Legislature session, whatever the fuck that means, I just know I wish that bitch on the right was doin a little less head bobbin and a little more booty talking. This is massively weird and out of fuckin’ context and that’s what makes me believe that anything is fuckin’ possible…

Here’s the lyrics in case you weren’t sure what they were talking about at this very important political gathering…

Lyrics to She’s Fine :
Bow bow bow
Bow bow
Bow bow bow
Bow bow
Bow bow bow
Hurricane
Bow bow
Bow bow bow
Bow bow
Bow bow bow

Bum bum bum
Bum bum bum
Bum bum bum
Bum bum bum

She fine den a bitch, ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry
She walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She ain’t nothing but a tease
Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry

Well let’s get ratchet
Let’s get ratchet
Look at her prettier then Halle and thicker than Janet
She say she like all of my club bangers I be jamming
Told her to bust it open let me see what’s really happnin
She the ship and I’m the captain
I’m tha captain
Booty bigger than the pus

And I’m all the way in your city
I’m from louisianna so you gotta show me how your
City do it for that camera
Make it drop and bring it back to the top
You no amateur
Girl you can give it to me it ain’t nothing I can’t handle
She just got out of the shower smellin like a scented candle
And I’m finna finna?
Sliding off tha mattress
No moving no acting baby this is real action
Beat it up so bad
You be scared to walk past me
I know your halle berry
Baby there’s no acting
I beat it up so bad
You be scared to walk past me for real

She fine den a bitch ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry
She walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She ain’t nothing but a tease
Halle Berry, Halle berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry

Halle berry you jazze
That’s way past fine
Girl you look like something that should be on tha dance line
Increadable by tha waist
Pluss she got a pretty face
Even tho she got class she listen to UGK
I’m finna flip her through traffic
With tha top back of tha donk
Girl I gaurntee I can make you go numb numb numb numb
I got enough bread to take me and you to London
And back to America and all over the country
She make me want to keep her close by
Like a side kick
She tha type of chick that ain’t gone never look sloppy
I’m a beat it out the frame
Hurricane that’s who I be
You must be Halle berry
I don’t need to see your Id

She fine den a bitch ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry
She walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She ain’t nothing but a tease
Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry

Gone bob your head
Gone work your shoulder
Now what I just said girl do it on tha dick
Age ain’t shit
I done got a lil older
Me or you man baby girl take a pic
Whitch one
She so classy, Shes so jazzy
Lil momma blow like a
Do it on tha dick
She don’t need no help
She say she got it
She do it all by her self
Get so fine
Like a god damn ticket
Gave her a hickey
In order for a nig like me to spend cash
You gotta bounce like shocks in your ass
You, bed, ass, work
Start slow faster
Mr. Halle Berry
Mr.Take your bitch
Take her from tha club
To tha car to tha dick

She fine den a bitch ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want her
Call her Halle Berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry
She walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She ain’t nothing but a tease
Halle Berry, Halle berry, Halle berry
Halle Berry, Halle berry

Posted in:Halle Berry|Hurricane Chirs

2009

04

Jun

Halle Berry Tits on Set for Some Commercial of the Day

11 Comments »

Halle Berry is filming a commercial and between takes on that commercial, she took some time to adjust her top and the paparazzi were there to snap off a shot. You can’t see shit, but you know that under that dress and under that bra are a great set of tits like you’ve never seen a fucking tit, even though you’ve seen her tit in movies over and over again.

The fact that I am posting this…makes me feel like a fucking loser…Like someone who gets excited about this kind of thing…which is a nice reminder…that I am a fucking loser….

Posted in:Halle Berry|Tits

2009

12

May

Halle Berry Tits in a Tube Top of the Day

5 Comments »

Oh shit, it’s Halle Berry in a tube top. Where’s the creepy guy who got arrested for pulling down unsuspecting girl’s and their unsuspecting tube tops a couple of summers ago cuz he loves titties as much as he loves sexual harassment when we need him. Oh that’s right, sitting right here typing this. Legally obligated to stay at least 15 feet away from tube tops, but at least I’ve got the pics. Motherfuckers.

Posted in:Halle Berry|Tits|Tube Top

2009

04

May

Halle Berry Gets Mad at the Paparazzi of the Day

6 Comments »

Halle Berry got mad at the paparazzi because they were crowding her space or some shit. Her reasoning was because she had a child with her, one who I assume is her child, he as she tries to protect the motherfucker, is screaming the F-Word in it’s fragile half breed baby ears. I guess what it comes down to is that she should be ashamed of herself for being a failure of a mother, put the fuckin’ thing up for adoption and blow thru her money in a series of bad investments and drug addiction, only to have her turning tricks in the next 5 years, so that I can pay her 20 dollars extra to get her to let me go down on her. Good times.

Posted in:Halle Berry|Paparazzi

2009

01

Apr

Some Halle Berry Youtube Bullshit of the Day

2 Comments »

I am taking the day off updating the site today….April Fool…i’m just fucking lazy…here’s some Halle Berry youtube video from some Ellen Bullshit that is doing the internet rounds, last year I went to the trouble of redirecting the site to Disney.com, this year I don’t give a fuck, but I’ll be back to post more in a minute, as long as my Lymphoma doesn’t kick me in the ass and force me to nap. April Fool. Cancer jokes are always funny, just ask Jade Goody. What too soon?

Posted in:Halle Berry

2009

15

Jan

Halle Berry’s Mom Ass of the Day

2 Comments »

Halle Berry is a mom, this is her ass outside a spa. It doesn’t look as tight as you might like an ass you are looking at to be, but we’re not dealing with an 18 year old here, so I guess it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that despite buying a million dollar house near me, she has yet to come hang out there, it seems like all those nights hiking in the woods for a hot anal sex scene with a mom ass because her mom pussy is too loose to pleasure his white penis exclusive were nothing but a waste of time, because all I’d find was her model boyfriend’s family sleeping and using the facility like a summer cottage they won in the fucking lottery that is having their son marry and knock up a celebrity.

Posted in:Ass|Halle Berry|Mom

2008

16

Dec

Halle Berry Topless on Set of the Day

8 Comments »

I don’t know what’s going on in these pictures but it looks like Momma Africa is out grazing the fields, hunting Zebra to bring back to the tripe, you know with her sloppy post pregnancy body and the fact that she’s not wearing a shirt, I’m really not complaining because I like girls who denounce convention and don’t bother with a shirt because I am a liberated woman and I will not let this men’s world hold me back…..Remember, what I say doesn’t matter, what does matter is Halle Berry’s tit….and if you were wondering, I’m topless right now too. True story. Sorry ladies don’t mean to turn you on like that, but I figured I might as well share that with you, I mean we’re all adults here. Again, what I say doesn’t matter, what does matter is Halle Berry tit.

To See the Pictures of Her Titties on Set
GO

Posted in:Halle Berry|Topless

2008

23

Oct

Halle Berry is Stalking Me of the Day

16 Comments »

Like all smart Americans, Halle Berry is setting up shop in Canada in the event Obama loses the election at least that’s what I think she’s doing.

She recently bought a house that is less than 1 hour away from me, because her pretty boy baby daddy model is from this shitty city I live in and I guess he’s getting homesick and wants his mommy and daddy involved in the upbringing of his million dollar lottery ticket and Halle Berry is committed to making her baby daddy happy, or some shit, because she just doesn’t want to be another statistic, you know single black parent in the ghetto that is Beverly Hills or Malibu or wherever the fuck they live.

I like the pretend that Esquire’s most beautiful girl of 2008 (not 1999 as you would assume) is moving her to be closer to me, but it’s fair to say she doesn’t think I exist, and the truth is I don’t really care that she exists. Sure, she’s hot for a black chick and all, but there’s lots of hot girls in the world, especially when you have no fucking standards, so who needs her.

The only good that can come from this is when I feel like making a million dollars by being a paparazzi and dropping in on them randomly when they are sleeping but I am too lazy or that and because I have a feeling she won’t be using the house at all, she just got it to shut her pretty boy up.

ST. HIPPOLYTE, QUE. – A small town in the Laurentians just got a little more beautiful. Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry and her Montreal partner, model Gabriel Aubry, have bought a house in St. Hippolyte, Que.

The million-dollar home, which the Hollywood star and her boyfriend reportedly bought several weeks ago, sits on 63 acres of land overlooking Molson Lake.’

Aubry, who is the father of Berry’s daughter, grew up near Montreal and his parents still live in the suburb of Laval.

“It feels great, Aubry said “Anything we can do in our own hometown is always a good feeling.”

Source

The big coincidence is I was actually bidding on this property and she swept it from under my nose, when my offer of 14 dollars in quarters was rejected, so now I have reason to really hate her, instead of that whole hate her cuz she doesn’t answer my phone calls bullshit, but here’s the listing, if you care…

Surrounded by sixty-eight acres of privacy and seclusion, this country property features a five acre private spring fed lake and a three bedroom 2,500 sq. ft modern architectural home with various beautiful and original features. This gated estate is less than one hour from Montreal and is accessible by private road. Property has deeded access to Lac à L’Achigan which is less than one kilometer away. For those seeking complete privacy and security this site has it all !

Unique Amenities

Mountain View
Water View
Private Lake
Waterfront

Lac Molson
$1,850,555 (1,850,000 CAD)
Saint-Hippolyte, Quebec, Canada
Estate
Single Family Home
Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 1
Size: 2500 sq ft

Here is the house…

Here is a map of the area….if you want to really get to know her….by sneaking on the property late at night when she’s sleeping…

I expect to be invited to the sex parties….I don’t expect that to happen…But I figured I’d just throw it out there….or maybe plot a way to make it happen…but I am not very good at organizing things, and who really wants to see a tired mother who has spent the last 6 months in yoga in attempts to rejuvenate her vagina, at a sex party….

Here’s the Halle Berry Esquire shoot, where Esquire editors had some kind of relapse and thought that it was 1999 and named her the most beautiful girl in the world, a title, I’ve been using to get in girls pants the last 30 years, but it never seems to work out.

Here she is leaving Yoga over a month ago, because I like to stay current….and she likes the idea of her vagina snappin’ back to it’s original shape and tightness….

Here’s a really old one of her wearinga see through shirt while pregnant with pretty boy’s baby….because she’s slutty like that….


And for those of you who don’t care about real estate, here she is in Monster Ball, a pretty good sex scene, except for the whole Billy Bob Thorton part……
GO

Posted in:Canada|Halle Berry|Stalking

2008

13

Oct

Halle Berry Sets off Car Alarms When She Leaves Yoga of the Day

5 Comments »

As the Sexiest older lady with kids alive, according to Esquire Magazine, it’s no surprise that Halle Berry sets off car alarms as she leaves Yoga. I mean she is half black after all. Setting off alarms is kinda something they do…

Posted in:Halle Berry|Hot|Yoga

2008

08

Oct

Halle Berry is the Sexiest Woman Alive According to Esquire Magazine of the Day

1 Comment »

I was walking down a street yesterday and came across a store going out of business with a sign indicating that everything was on sale. It was some kind of antique store that I would normally not notice, but it happened to have a giant Jesus statue in the window and I thought it was a sign from god, so I walked inside. The place was like a magical garage sale, filled with random crap and I asked the guy how much the Jesus statue was and he turned to me and said that it wasn’t for sale, I decided to look through the rest of his shit, because I had nothing better to do and figured since I was already in there, I might as well and that’s when I overheard another browsing shopper ask how much a lamp was and dude said that it wasn’t for sale, so I started flipping the products over to see the prices and everything was 1,000 dollars, even a jar full of marbles and I realized that this motherfucker didn’t want to sell anything, he was just a creepy collector and I was in serious need of some hand sanitizer, because creepy collectors masturbate a lot and I could only assume, he used his random junk instead of his hand because he loved it so much and would never let it leave his side….

I think the editors at Esquire who have just named Halle Berry the Sexiest Woman Alive have the same psychiatric disorder as my friend the antique dealer because it seems like they just can’t figure out how to move the fuck on. Sure she’s hot, but she’s old and a mom and it’s time to bring some new blood to the bed sheets by devirginizing some prime pussy, not pussy that’s already seen it’s fair share of babies and cock, but I guess that’s all a matter of opinion….and mine, as I’ve discovered over the years, is pretty much worthless.

Posted in:Esquire|Halle Berry|Sexiest Woman Alive