To be Ireland Baldwin is to be posting some unflattering half naked selfies to remind everyone that you are no Kim Bassinger, despite your name and the womb you crawled out of.

When I see her content, it’s just unfortunate that she didn’t stick to her original “california child of celebs living at the beach house” narrative, but instead stopped showering, got prison tats, gained 20 lbs, coming in at 300 lbs because she’s 6 foot tall, dated some dyke rapper and is still lower on the totem pole by uglier, less relevant, girls who don’t have dad’s who are Alec fucking Baldwin.

I do think that she could turn this whole thing around if she hired me as the IG Model coach I was destined to be, but that no one will give me the chance to do….because broken rich girls who don’t play the broken rich girl…but who look too much like a broken rich girl have potential…but are throwing it all away…

We get it your dad likes his new family better than you, get over it, and take a damn shower.

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Ireland Baldwin looking like a thousand year old sea creature dug up from the continental shelf…

I guess every once in a while you need to hose down the beast because it starts smelling….

In Ireland Baldwin’s case it’s a lot like piss, shit and semen….maybe some remnants of when she was a dyke with a “Black rapper”…after breaking up the Instagram beachy dream when she first started with some surfer dude…before turning into a dark and gutter girl you’d expect to find pushing her porn account…

Garbage.

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Ireland Baldwin may have that disease the Elephant Man had….you know gigantism or partial gigantism of body parts, which in her case are her forehead, or maybe her full head, I don’t know, whatever it is…it is big….

But luckily, along with her gigantism 7 foot tall 300 pound frame, she’s also got some gigantism in her bra….cuz big titties make monster women more worthy and she obviously knows it…the other thing that makes women more worthy is when their parents are famous as shit, because typically people will bring them opportunities without much effort, but for some reason…no opportunities seem to come to Ireland…ever.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin|SFW

Ireland Baldwin prison tats remind that she’s got basically zero Kim Bassinger genes….it must be a donor egg cuz all I see is Alec Baldwin in lingerie, cross dressing like some kind of tranny right, all big and monstrous….or maybe it is a Jamie Lee Curtis situation where Ireland was born with female reproductive organs and a dick….and they decided to raise her a girl…because there is nothing feminine about her…

I just looked up Kim Bassinger pics and I guess I can see the resemblance now…just not in younger Kim Bassinger pics….so it is like she skipped the good parts of being Kim Bassinger and got the 67 year old Menopausal high testosterone Kim Bassinger…

EITHER WAY, I am not ancestry or 23 and me doing a DNA test…I love all celebrity children equally, and seeing them strip down is a good thing, even if it’s messy.

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Since the Alec Baldwin ROAST that I accidentally watched on one of the streaming apps I’ve hijacked with my NERD techniques even though I don’t know nerd shit..I just know my friend’s login cuz despite being a hermit loner weirdo that makes everyone uncomfortable when I try to socialize with them…I have friends or people willing to give me their logins…living large motherfuckers..

Anyway, 80 percent of the Roast was about Ireland Baldwin…probably contractual from Baldwin trying to give his daughter he publicly called a PIG some shine…but since every comedian on the Roast threw the same shit I’ve been saying about Ireland back at Alec, in a more professional and higher paid way, I feel there is no need to make fun of the GIANT, the Daddy Issues, it’s a if you make fun of yourself, people won’t bother making fun of you anymore…but I will still watch her attempt to become an influencer in the most bootleg of ways which is weird cuz her family is rich…and the internet seems fucking easy to troll with just a little bit of money…just look at any websites you visit all corporate run with staffs of 200 people doing what I do alone….cuz MONEY buys shit…so maybe Ireland should be using her money for strategic growth, rather than using her tits for attention, but they are big tits and we like that…unstable girl with daddy issues titties just wanting some likes and follows here…

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Posted in:Ireland Baldwin|SFW

Ireland Baldwin still trying to be hot….because her dad didn’t love her according to the media..something they play off because I watched her Dad’s roast and the story where he called her a pig was 90 percent of it….but that could have just been his peace offering to get her some screen time so that he doesn’t feel guilty about how much of a loser she is, and he can feel like he threw her a bone, you know cuz she’s a little pig and they like bones…

She’s about 7 feet tall, so her tits she is holding up are bigger than your head…and I guess there’s magic in that.

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Ireland Baldwin just had a birthday and as it turns out – she’s another year useless…

The older she gets…the less hope their is…but Alec Baldwin and I guess Kim Bassinger are fucking rich, so she’s good.

This is just a way to pass the time…what the fuck else is she supposed to do, get a job, go to school change the world? Fuck that.

She’s 8 feet tall and 250 lbs…bitch could be a fucking linebacker, a pro wrestler, an amateur wrestler, a bodyguard like Kevin Costner…or she could bounce a fucking biker bar for her rehab friends…there are options..but why not show the titty…without showing the titty.

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Ireland Baldwin or dump truck monster woman brought out her 7 foot tall, 250 pound body into a bikini, because she genuinely thinks she’s a model. Which is hilarious.

There was an Alec Baldwin Roast that I am hoping no one watched because comedy is a fucking waste of time. If you are inclined to watch it, I can save you an hour of your life and say that they basically covered everything I say here about Ireland Baldwin, not because I am some innovative thinker, but because her story is basically being called a pig on her voicemail while her dad was raging, that he dipped out and saw as little of her as possible, so he took the lessons learned from his failed family, and started a new one, with a tight bodied yoga instructor to offset the shame and disappointment that is Ireland….I guess it is presented more humoristically, but as sad and dark as it likely is for a young rich kid….who has deep rooted daddy issues leading to titty content like this.

This is not a good thing. From shitty tattoos to shitty faces. Forever a shadow of her parents but at least her rent will always be paid thanks to trust funds and such.

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Ireland Baldwin wearing pants that hug her like her daddy never did….

I’m sure Alec, post Comedy Roast no one watched or cared to watch, is very proud of this sea creature he created, which is why he has blocked her number, lives across the country, and keeps knocking up his Yoga Instructor to make-up for the disappointmnent he made with Bassigner….

It’s like the 1800s, when families would have a dozen kids in hope that 2-3 survive into adulthood..only the rich celeb version where instead of dying they are exiled to Malibu, where they are in and out of rehab, paid off with a solid allowance that allows for shitty prison tattoos…

The funny thing about her, besides her sheer SIZE is that she could have been an actual influencer. She had the tits, she wasn’t fat, she did the beach thing when it was easy clickbait…but she self destructed and this is what we’re left with….which I guess is about 60 pounds too more than we need.

Take it in. Smash that SUBSCRIBE button.

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