Jade Chynoweth is apparently a 23 year old who has been working in the industry since she was 13, because some 13 year olds can dance their way into the land of low level celebrity while other 13 year olds are busy being awkward nerds that no one likes. We aren’t all created equally….or we don’t all have parents who sell us to pay the fucking rent.

She really hasn’t done all that much, despite being a child dancer, now grown up…her acting roles are basically characters that don’t even have names like in the Step Up Movie Franchise where she played “USA PHANTOM DANCER”….which doesn’t sound like the main, or even secondary character….but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist…

She actually went viral doing some lesbian performance on THE VOICE with Halsey, you know keeping network TV spicy, back in 2018 when she would have been barely 18. Perverts.

They say she’s currently the main character on the STEP UP TV show that no one knows exists…I guess she impressed them as “USA PHANTOM DANCER” in the movie no one knew existed…..WHO IS WATCHING THE STEP UP TV SHOW….I’d like to meet them….because I feel they can’t be very sophisticated.

Anyway, like all the whores of the internet and of the mainstream, they strip down to get likes and follows, it’s marketing, just don’t cast them in bikinis to be in a BEER AD, that’d be SEXIST…let them do it for themselves though….since they’re empowered or some nonsense.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

It’s still the Christmas season to me, because CHRISTMAS is a state of mind motherfuckers…

So here’s a professional dancer, who back-up dances for actual big acts, while she’s not starring as a dancer in shitty straight to NETFLIX movies, which used to be straight to VIDEO, before straight to NETFLIX meant blockbuster cast….

She’s wearing what some pantyhose shorts with a body suit jacked up her cunt like this is only fans content, only it’s performance art PERVERT….and sometimes performance art can be softcore porn for the pantyhose fetishists…leotards up cunt…and not be seen as something to jack off to.

I know what you’re thinking, professional dancers who aren’t strippers working for crack money is a fucking waste…but at last she still produces the smut.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

Jade Chynoweth is a bit of a disappointment to me. Not because I think she’s hideous or disgusting to look at in her bikini, she’s fine to look at in a bikini, I mean there are tits, and there is a dance body, and I’ll look at any of those when faced with them, I’m a hero like that…just LOOK ME IN A FACE BIKINI PICS I CAN HANDLE YOU…much like a man on Safari coming face to face with the predator cat, not flinching because he can fucking handle it…NEVER SHOW FEAR.

Chynoweth is a disappointment because she’s a professional dancer, maybe a professionally trained dancer, and instead of being a stripper with the best stage show at a strip club in Miami, or a I guess in Houston when Drake is there after a Satanic ritual blowing 1,000,000 dollars because at a certain point, money is irrelevant.

Instead, she’s a back-up dancer, a low level actress for movies that require dance, and that’s a STRIPPER LOST….still slutty maybe, I mean I think bikini selfies are slutty, as they are INTENTIONAL…not a casual, caught on camera in a bikini moment, instead self produced desperation and you can’t even get a 10 dollar lap dance out of it….what a waste.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

Instagram is a good thing for insignificant actors and dancers like Jade Chynoweth….I guess TikTok is probably good for them too…since she’s a dancer and that app, which for the most part is for mindless idiots dancing, but I’ve been sent so many great on the ground videos of the things that people would blow off as conspiracy in this world domination that we’re experiencing…so maybe TikTok, especially now that it is officially and publicly owned by the Chinese Communist Party, meaning ALL these people have officially given China access to their phones, cameras and mics….SCARY…BUT WORTH IT TO GET SHOWN all the smut on TikTok….because is actually kinda good.

Anyway, fuck TikTok, this is about fucking Jade Chynoweth…who was in one or two movies, made her career as a back up dancer, may have made out with Halsey on America’s Got Talent while Simon Cowell jerked off into his BOTOX mouth….unless it was American Idol, here Adam Levine was doing the jerking off..oh no, he’s on the voice….who is on American Idol…Kelly Clarkson? She’d be too busy eating the craft services in the dressing room…her RIDER reads “FOOD….ALL FOOD…JUST BRING FOOD”….at least based on the sotry her rich ass tells us…

So yeah, Jade Chynoweth, a nobody, can exist, because she posts bikini pics on some Turkish boat, where her fans are probably based….I know Turkish instagrammers love the bitches….maybe she’s heading to Afghanistan to save some refugees….who cares…fit dancers can fuck…have good fit bodies…and white bikinis are see through when wet…so lots of fetishes going on here.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

Jade Chynoweth’s got her Fringed Jacket on with nothing underneath, which should get all the cowboys out there pretty excited, because despite being a trained dancer living that LA life, being cast in shitty movies, and as back up dancers for shitty pop acts, she’s doing the whole “straight from the heartland” ready to kick some shit and ride into the sunset to find her herd….I mean not quite in those shoes and I don’t think those panties / bikini bottoms would really be a good protection against whatever kind of ticks her horse has, you know a direct line to the cunt…but it would make for good content…not that her being half naked in a fringed cowboy jacket in the woods is bad content, I just like a bit more action than dramatic poses…in fact…I fucking hate dramatic model poses for social media…you look like an asshole…no one stands like this unless they are posing…and posing in and of itself is trying too hard…yet, if she was to actually do a dance, or ride a horse, or teach us some lasso roping skills on a barrel in this outfit…there’d be a point beyond seeing some dancing tits you never heard of…

I just think this could have been better, but I’ll post what she’s got, cuz she’s in panty bottoms and showing tits…even though as a dancer…we’d probably prefer more ass…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

Jade Chynoweth is some STOP THE YARD actor/dancer, you know the kind of girl who gets cast in the straight to DVD version of a popular yet shitty movie that they want to create into a franchise. I know that “straight to DVD” isn’t a thing – old technology but still a measure of quality as far as I’m concerned…

So she’s a dancer, in dance movies, and maybe dance TV shows, who dances on stage with people like Halsey at award shows or reality shows, because dance is provocative, but an art so not slutty, even when naked and dancing pussy to pussy….so even if dancing is dumb, it’s obviously something people like enough for CHINA to use as a foundation for their spyware app….cuz it can be HOT to watch.

I will say that dancers have a level of fit body, this dancer has a level of titties, and the whole thing is probably far more exciting if you actually get to experience her moves, gyrations, connection to body and soul and rhythm…dancers can fuck it’s a fact….but in selfies, it’s still a set of tits..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

Jade Chynoweth is being nice and racy on social media while pretending it’s just a casual workout, despite her being in a bikini, which is clearly not just a casual workout, it’s more of a strategically planned masturbation inducing workout by design….

If this was about the workout alone, the deep stretches to get your mobility up, since mobility is apparently linked to longevity, as I sit here hunched like some kind of pretzel, it wouldn’t be in a bikini….

It is in a bikini because she wants to make as much noise as she can since everything done in a bikini gets more views…

You probably don’t know who Jade Chynoweth is, but she was in STOMP THE YARD movies, so you know she’s low level…a trained dancer who prior to dancing in movies also danced on stage…and I guess still does…

She’s been in the FENTY lingerie shows, she’s done dyke shit with Halsey on network television, and she continues to slut in content because when you’re a professional dancer, stripper is always the back-up plan, so she knows exactly what she’s doing here….and like most women will likely complain at men for creepily sexualizing an innocent workout video on social media…because obviously we’re going to sexualize this, she’s basically showing her fucking butthole…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

Jade Chynoweth has a fit big titty dancer body that is not working as a stripper because some professionally trained dancers avoid the whole stripping thing and go directly to Hollywood where hot bodied dancers are needed for their shitty dance content because clearly America loves dance so much they’ll let China spy on their asses in exchange for a platform to post their dancing, even thought they can just do it on instagram…

I will never understand why one dancer becomes a stripper working dingy clubs, while another becomes Hollywood, but thems the fucking breaks and it probably comes down to money and family support…like girl had help to avoid sex work even though it is debatable that this is actually sex work, assuming she’s got an Only Fans or will have an only fans…they all end up on that scam, I mean when they realize giving the nude awkward dance content for free is not making them the cash they could make if they hired an Indian virtual assitant to sext their fans and captioned videos like this “Fresh Shower Twerk after Cumming On my Fingers Dance”…75 dollars to See it all…fucking scammers.

ANYWAY, dancers are fit, they know how to move rhythmically, and can fuck like you’ve never been fucked assuming they aren’t too exhausted from all the dancing to fuck…or even worse…lazy and acting like they are doing you a favor when fucking as hot girls often do….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

Her name is Jade Chynoweth she’s a 22 year old “Dancer” and “Actress” who has been in some movies like Batman VS Superman, but more hilariously lame a Step Up (Stomp the Yard) series on Youtube based on the lame as fuck Step Up that didn’t need an offshoot or spinoff series…yet for some reason, it happened and people got more rich off it….probably similar to the whole Hamilton crazy that I’ve seen clips of and hated every second of that appropriating shit…yet that Juan Migueal Lin Manual motherfucker made 75 million last year for it…reminding me that it probably took him the same amount of time I spend blogging in a week to write that shit….

POINT BEING…any dancer who isn’t working as a stripper disappoints me, it’s like they broke through because the world likes dance, at least that’s what TikTok taught me and the fact that girls who dance can make it without stripping, and I mean REALLY MAKE IT, some of the top TikTok girls are making 5 million a year to lip sync and gyrate their teen bodies that should be considered criminal on some sex offender shit but for some reason the world views it as fine….

Anyway, dancers, once you get past the cringe of watching them dance, are fit, have stamina and can ride a dick better than a fat slob…so keep that in mind watching this Jade bitch…

here she is at the lake..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

I always confuse this Jade girl with Kristin Chenoweth, the Tony Award winning 50 year old who was probably best known for being in Glee. You know the tiny high pitched voiced slutty blonde chick.

As it turns out, this Jade Chynoweth, which is basically the same fucking last name, is an “actress” but more importantly a dancer. With a name like Jade, you’d assume she lived in a one bedroom apartment with her three babies she had with different baby daddies, when not at work doing lap dances for 10 dollars a song….but instead of being a low level stripper dancer, she’s mainstream.

She is probably best known for her main role in Step Up the TV show you didn’t know existed, she’s also been in a bunch of music videos, Batman Vs Superman and who the fuck cares what else, none of that matters, what matters is how slutty she gets on social media and this is how slutty she is on social media.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jade Chynoweth