Either she’s fat – or she’s that age where a married woman skips her pill to trap what may be her homosexual husband’s semen inside her uterus to secure that life of luxury – all to legitimize his sexuality…or she’s both.

It’s like metabolism’s slow down, people stop working out, and people get pregnant…but throughout all this, she’s got herself a ridiculous booty in what, if pregnant, is the perfect time to have unprotected sex with her so that you don’t have to deal with abortion costs, that shit is someone else’s burden…not that you’d ever have sex with Biel, and if you did, you would want her knocked up – because you are lonely, and it would give you purpose in this sad, dark world…not to mention – a better lifestyle – up on some K-Fed shit, but that’s not happening, you aren’t good enough for her…and her Seventh Heaven ego…

All this to say, if that’s not pregnant – I’d be surprised.

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Posted in:Jessica Biel

Here’s a little / big and muscular possibly scary and married to the lamest effeminate motherfucker Jessica Biel in bed to inspire you to LAST LONGER IN BED …because when you see girls in bed, whether they are famous or not, you should want to make that moment last as long as you can, especially since it never really happens for you…seeing as you’re a socially awkward creep, but I guess you could still get that last longer in bed spray HERE to make your premature ejaculation masturbation better…whether looking at Jessica Biel in Yahoo! photoshoots or whatever other weird fetish shit you’re into..

Posted in:Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel wasn’t wearing a bra in a dress while showing off her fat round fit ass…and apparently – she wasn’t wearing SPANX either, because she had what looked like a baby bump, that I would assume was caused by sharing the same toilet seat as her “husband” Justin Timberlake, who farted out some semen left in him from his lover, because he’s gay, right? I mean maybe I’m just stereotyping frosted tipped hair on guys who like dancing a little too much, but I guess he probably realized that dancing gets you rich and rich gets you pussy…so maybe the real gay in all this is me assuming he’s gay…and that he only went for Biel cuz she doesn’t bitch and has a broad manly back thanks to lifting…

Who cares.

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Posted in:Jessica Biel

Here is Jessica Biel…the girl who found the man who I assume she was a fan of. You know the kind of young starlet who got into acting because she learned how to masturbate watching Mickey Mouse club, you know just by sliding her hands in her panties while reading one of those teen beat mags…waiting for it to start to tickle….leading her to LA to hunt the motherfucker down, trapping him, letting him do whatever the fuck he wanted while touring, showing him she’d always be there for him, even when he fucked up along the way, forcing him to marry her, leaving him with no option because she’s been so cool along the way and no other chick would put up with that, or have what they have, leaving her to no need to work her shitty movies, so she can focus on her pit bulls, her fitness, and spending motherfucker’s money in her old lady pajama style dress I am trying to look up…

If it works for them, it works for me, but I prefer divorcees who failed at the whole marriage thing…they are far more fun to have sex with than those in lockdown…because they take far less work to convince…but I’ll still try to stare at any panties I can. That’s my commitment to panties.

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Posted in:Jessica Biel

Gold digger Jessica Biel who last acted in what I assume was the early 2000s, before becoming the wife to Justin Timberlake, where she spends her days playing with her dogs and doing fitness, because she pulled through and put up with him fucking groupies on the road, as long as she got the good life, and got to marry her tween popstar crush, because it felt good on her ego, probably not quite as good as her ass feels being cummed in, but I guess only Justin and a handful of other dudes she’s fucked for work know…her ass isn’t that great anymore…she needs to cross reference instagram butt models to step it up.