I get that a bitch like Kate Upton, who at 19 has a set of DD tits, fears what she will do when her metabolism slows down and the rest of her body catches up to those pre-mature thanks to hormones in the food titties….and I get that she wishes we lived in an era where being thin wasn’t so important…you know cuz Marilyn Monroe in the 50s was substantially fatter than Upton will probably e ever be, provided things don’t go bad for her, leaving her with a meth problem out of work in a trailer shopping at wal mart for her 8 black babies from different fathers…happy black history month….cuz she looks like she could easily be obese….if she let herself…

But I think we need to let Monroe be dead…sure we can jerk off to her vintage erotica and appreciate her look, feel, vibe, hustle….you know a classy whore in an era where even white trash was classy….

We need to stop letting modern day bitches make a mockery of her by doing shit like this…

It’s like this busty SI Model needs to find her own campaign, her own trademark, her own fucking voice….do something fucking original….she’s got the titties for it….

There’s no excuse for this, it’s not halloween…you twat.

Posted in:Kate Upton

This is Kate Upton for some shit called Beach Bunny….she’s got an amazing fucking set of tits and is the kind of 19 year old pussy you want to lust after, which according to my new Christian friend is a sin cuz it ruins marriages and porn is the work of the devil, but luckily for all of us God forgives all sins, making all this good as long as you repent and mean it right before you die….I mean just to be safe cuz you never know…..

Either way, take it in, cuz in a few years, the rest of her will catch up to her tits…it’s a scientific fact…

Another fact, I’m at the porn convention in Vegas…I should be socializing with tits…in person…rather than talking about some photoshopped model shit…and that’s just what I’m gonna do..

Posted in:Kate Upton

Kate Upton is a bikini model…She is 19, has huge tits, and is going to be fat in the next few years, just a memory for those of you who like to jerk off to archival footage….so in this small window of opportunity that she has, she needs to be used for what she’s good for…her fucking tits…so when I see her whoring out on twitter with pictures of her in a dress, covered up, not half naked…I have to hate her and call her out for the fraud that she is….and I guess that’s what this post is all about.

Posted in:Kate Upton

Bikini Models shouldn’t ever ever talk about anything in video….or even in person…even when wearing a bikini because they always sound fucking retarded no matter how hard they try….

I mean Kate Upton is a chubby little priviledged kid who made her big titties matter before getting fat…she’s got no education and she’s got nothing interesting or relevant to say…and that’s why this should be her in a bikini and not her Whinning about how hard work is….or about her working out…cuz as funny as idiot models are…it is almost humiliating…and a distraction from what is important and what makes them the money and that’s her fucking tittties….shitheads…

Did I mention the Lindsay Lohan Playboy Pics are out? That’s what actually matters…

Posted in:Kate Upton

Here’s another genius move by Hollywood….recrating the Three Stooges which may be the best example of how Hollywood has officially lost any original thought….the idea pool is officiall as dried up as the old lady pussy at the old folks home I used to work at….They are seriously bottom feeding…but like all bad ideas comes some stroke of genius…and in this case they have made the movie worth watching by throwing in some Kate Upton in a bikini, dressed like a nun, instant comedic genius, cuz nun’s aren’t supposed to be hot bitches in bikinis, unless they are in shitty fucking movies seeking some attention by showing off her big old tits and rocking body that I am sure is fleeting when her metabolism slows down and she turns 25….when the rest of her catches up to her tits…but until then…she’s worth lookin at….and that’s all I have to say abou that..

Here’s the trailer…

Here’s the pics…

Posted in:Kate Upton

I get a lot of hate because I call Kate Upton out for being the fat chick I know she is going to become…

You see, every single 18 or 19 year old I knew with huge tits that, you know that were huge for no reason, it was some hormonal shit, maybe some fluke shit, out no matter what, it always ended up obese…whether kids fucked them up, bad eating habits, laziness or a slow metabolism…they all ended up huge …..

So I know….kate upton pulls shit like this…..

But I also know that her gut and ass looked like this at her modeling agency…

One day a month of starving yourself and eating laxatives won’t be enough to be a bikini model…and unfortunately that day is coming sooner than later…

But enjoy her when you can…Here she is in zebra pants that are probably latex and great to cum all over and watch the cum drip off…at least that’s what my latex loving friend who used to make girls he brought home wear some 1000 dollar latex suit…in order to cum…and I was always amazed they agreed to that shit…you know with yeast infections/stds but then again when I think that they were going home with him…it all kinda makes sense…

Posted in:Kate Upton

Here’s future fat chick, currently the hottest pussy out there, for Complex Magazine half naked and showing off her amazing tits….cuz she knows she’s on borrowed time…and that she better milk this shit as hard as she can before her ass catches up to her tits you know once puberty hits…and her metabolism slows down..but until then…she’s just a 18 year old with huge tits…who takes a good picture and is playing out some farmer’s daughter in her underwear fetish and most importantly she is looking good….and that’s all that really matters….

Posted in:Kate Upton

I don’t mind Twitter and long as there is smut…I mean I like the idea of these PR people running these celebrity and model accounts and using them as a way to communicate directly with their idiot fans by posting pics of themselves in compromising or half naked positions.. it’s great marketing…especially for someone like Kate Upton who is the 18 year old college classic already thanks to SI…..even though I know some fat social media manager is running the shit…cuz I know one day maybe Kate Upton will be using this twitter hustle to become that fat social media manager…cuz I can tell by her tits…this body isn’t gonna last til 30 and when the model money dries up…bitch is gonna have to work and like all ugly girls…what better place than behind a computer….mark my words..cuz it is coming…but it’s not here yet…so in the meantime…drink her Koolaid while pretending it’s her vaginal juice…

Imagine…all she did was blow a kiss to a camera…and people are freaking out…that’s so kindergarten…show me pussy lip fuck…

Posted in:Kate Upton

I just noticed this three week old Kate Upton Interactive Staring Contest video for Sobe…a marketing campaign that has been huge for them…I’ve already posted her having the Staring contest with random dudes, but they took it to the next step and made her talk to us and act like she’s in the room with us….and that’s just some clever shit…..

Posted in:Kate Upton

Kate Upton ignores me on twitter all the time, even when I ask her to prove that she’s the most masturbation worthy girl in the media these days, because I guess she doesnt like that I know the truth…which is any 18 or 19 year old that has tits like that, is going to end up a shitty sloppy mess by the time she is 25 and the rest of her body catches up to her….it always happens…and even in the top video of her on the runaway, even though her career should be strictly shit that can be photoshopped…..

This video of her in motion, looking sloppy if not chubby in high waisted marriage apparel is far too close to home for me to really embrace…or appreciate…see cuz I have a hot wife turned fat….

But here’s a better look…but it is almost hard to appreciate the moment when I already know she’s gonna get fat soon…

And here’s another good one….making it easier to appreciate the way she looks today and not bother caring about her impending obesity…

Posted in:Kate Upton