Molly Sims Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2024

28

May

Molly Sims’ Life After SI Swim Involves Swimsuits of the Day

Molly Sims is a relatively irrelevant early 2000s model who was in SI SWIM on the regular, but who has since been forgotten and not invited to any of their parties or comeback tours. Clearly not a Christie Brinkley clickview hog to them.

She also walked the VS fashion show in 2001, which I guess were her glory days….which make sense because she was in her late 20s then, which is around the time right before hitting that wall and rotting out.

Thanks to instagram, she can relive the glory days of stripping down in a bikini or bathing suit for people to jerk off to, even though she’s in her 50s…which is pretty fucking offensive to those of us not into golden year senior citizen home porn.

She’s married to some overpaid Netflix film exec who is probably responsible for some of the Netflix trashed that has tarnished the minds of a generation…but hey, at least he gets to stick his dick in ex-model pussy when not on set sticking his dick in young hot new aspiring actress pussy while his ex-model pussy is at home raising the kids with the nannies and valiums and other rich housewife tools when they know their hotness is evaporating and their powerful man can get a newer moder…literally.

They must be going through a divorce, because all these bikini pics in a week’s time screams DIVORCEE trying to get jerked off to cuz her husband upgraded to a newer model….

It’s a little desperate.

Posted in:Molly Sims

2023

03

Jan

Molly Sims Bikini of the Day

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Molly Sims is like 50 years old and in a bikini, which you’d think should have a set fixed age limit on who can wear the bikini, along with a set weight limit, but unfortunately we’re not controlled by our overlords to that extreme yet.

You know 10 points off your social credit if you put people through the sight of your fat old ass tanning in a g-string….it’s a logical step or maybe it should be a generally understood sense of decency even in this world of degeneracy…but it’s not.

Now, I am not one to complain about a once hot Swim model in her bathing suit at any age, plus she’s not hideous.

I just think it’s funny that knowing there’s an archive of her hotness out there, why bother trying, she’s done it, it’s out there, the legacy lives on…no need to come out or retirement for the fans, only weirdos want to see how she’s aged out.

So yeah, the more skin I see the happier I am on any age, size even if it’s a disaster pile of gross old lady from the diner who eats too many french fries in her 70s out on her balcony tits out in the summer….I like to experience it…

When it’s a famous chick people have jerked off to, I wonder is it confidence, do they think they aged hot and want to show off their rich girl diet and exercise routine that could stand up to new models with less drive, because they don’t need it.

Is it just what they are programmed to do without any thought, or is it what they think they are supposed to do, or are expected to do until the day they die…..or do thy just not really care either way like after one too many gyno appointments you don’t get too concerned with showing a room of people your scabby cunt, but the bikini selfie version…

Give these exhibitionists the freedom to show off whether they think they are still hot asses….or don’t care if they are hot asses but do it anyway or not…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Molly Sims

2022

14

Apr

Molly Sims Bikini of the Day

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Do you remember 90s model Molly Sims, she was known for Sports Illustrated before marrying some NETFLIX producer who you now has a lot of money, because why would a 90s Sports Illustrated model marry someone who didn’t….right. They have a bunch of kids together because that’s the insurance policy and she’s now pushing 50 and still in a bikini, because she knows, she better SLOW the ROT as hard as she can, her finances depend on it because you know some film producer who marries swimsuit models is not doing it for her personality.

It’s a status thing for men with something to prove, just not confident enough to marry a fucking ugly, even though after marriage, the hot chick gets boring and old, it’s just human nature, but luckily he’s in a solid position to cheat on her with hotter and younger chicks. I mean a movie producer needs to be involved in casting, needs to take meetings at all hours, needs to be on set. It’s a career designed for the fuck.

Anyway, I didn’t care about Molly Sims then, don’t care about her now, but old lady in bikini like it’s her job, since it’s been her only job is alright.

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Posted in:Molly Sims

2011

08

Mar

Molly Sims Uses the Biggest Purse Ever to Make her Look Not Fat of the Day

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I know there is nothing hot about these pictures of Molly Sims, unless you’re into fat chicks, which I’m not, since I’m married to a fat chick and everything about her is horrible, from her smell to her breathing to trying to find her vagina when she forces me to go down on her….The only good thing about fat chicks is when they aren’t that fat, but fat enough to know they can’t really get a guy to commit, so they fill the void of male attention with both cake and giving amazing blowjobs to whoever comes a long and asks for one….especailly at last call…unfortunately, that level of fat isn’t my wife.

Enough about me, the reason I am posting this shit is because I find it funny to see how far this bitch has gone to look less fat than she is. She has a massive Vuiton purse, that is probably 5 times the size of a real Vuiton and it brings back memories of 1986, when I went to some county fair and they made us strip down and sit on this massive tables to look like we were little elves, you know some wierd pervert shit I knew was wrong years before they arrested our camp director who coordinated the shit…

Here’s what Molly Sims used to look like…

Here she is behind her purse trying to recreate that video shoot using strategic props….and movie magic special effects…

Posted in:Molly Sims

2009

05

Nov

Molly Sims and her Dramatic Acting Reel of of the Day

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Molly Sims Dramatic Acting Reel from Molly Sims

I used to hate Funny or Die with a passsion. I didn’t know why, but I like to think it had to do with the figure skating movie Blade of Steel that Will Ferrell was in making me hate everything the motherfucker did. But as I’ve got older, I’ve decided to care less about everything, it’s been a pretty cleansing process and although I am still the bitter hateful motherfucker I tend to be, I don’t actually really hate anything, except maybe Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, I just refuse to carry that shit around with me because it really doesn’t matter enough to affect my mood.

So when I saw this video of Molly Sims, a girl I guess known for being in her bikini a lot, despite her flat ass, I figured it was kinda clever, because making fun of yourself is something I can appreciate so that’s why I’m sharing it with you.

Posted in:Dramatic Actor|Funny or Die|Molly Sims

2009

20

Mar

Molly Sims and Her Post Anal Rape Walk of the Day

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If you’re wondering what’s happened to Molly Sims, I got this exclusive, that she’s been out getting prison raped by random large penised men, and now she can’t seem to manage to stand-up straight, cuz they got her good.

Yeah, I didn’t actually get that exclusive, but I do always wonder why gay men always have such good posture and pursed lips, you know all rigid and put together, when they take it up the ass, I know that my wife stuck her finger in my ass once and I walked with a limp for a week. Sure she’s got fat fingers and I resisted, but you get what I’m saying here, or you don’t.

I guess you’re no even reading this and onto the pictures. I’ve lost my edge. Let’s go skiing.

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Anal|Molly Sims|Rape

2008

23

Jan

Molly Sims Doing All Kinds of Weird Shit for Her Puppies of the Day

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Molly Sims is some former Bikini Model and actor in the show Las Vegas and she’s usually pretty fucking hot for a 35 year old even though her age is catching up to her in her thighs. I have no idea what she’s doing in these pictures but I see Yoga Pants and the splits and squats so the rest is kind of a blurr to me because I am the kind of guy who you can’t take anywhere, because as a pervert I take everything out of context.

If I am walking buy a group of moms doing Yoga in the park during the summer, the first thing I think about is them doing it naked, on camera for some random Mexican dude they met in the park. Or, when I see middle-aged mom’s and their daughters in matching Yoga pants just walking and shopping in the mall, I think about them doing it naked on camera for some random Mexican dude they met in the mall. The reality is that my taking everyday things out of context and turning all things perverted has been a curse and has prevented me from living a normal life.

What I do know is that if this is the kind of performance she gives her dogs in public, I’d love to see what goes on behind cloed doors, I am not going to go as far as saying she shoves them up her cooch to simulate a reverse pregnancy for fun and to create a stronger bond exercise, or even the played out peanut butter myth, but if she’s doin’ what she’s doin in these pictures but a little more naked and a little more on camera in a lot more positions, those little cocksuckers are pretty fucking lucky and that’s not even taking into account that they get to eat her used tampons or lick her dirty panties or watch her get fucked by whoever she’s fucking or watch her shower all while drinking designer water and eating their doggy Filet Mignon, proving that their little dog life is a hell of a lot better than mine, which isn’t saying much because most stray dogs with rabies and no where to go have a better life than me.