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Archive for the Splits Category

2008

30

May

Jelena Jankovic Plays Some Pornographic Tennis of the Day

Tennis is the most pornographic sport with these Eastern European girls in little skirts and panties grunting like they are fucking and I like to watch it because I am a pervert. Here’s some bitch named Jalena Jankovic taking it to the next level by throwing in some splits and using her ass to get some more coverage because she knows that her male fans will appreciate it. I never really understood why dudes freak out when strippers throw in the splits in the middle of a routine, I am guessing it’s got something to do with visualizing that flexibility in the bedroom, but I just find it obvious. I’d be a lot happier if a stripper pushed the limits a bit and fisted herself on stage while taking a shit instead, but then again, I am a tough crowd. I blame the internet for desensitizing me.

Posted in:Ass|Jelena Jankovic|Panty|Porn|Splits|Tennis

2008

23

Jan

Molly Sims Doing All Kinds of Weird Shit for Her Puppies of the Day

Molly Sims is some former Bikini Model and actor in the show Las Vegas and she’s usually pretty fucking hot for a 35 year old even though her age is catching up to her in her thighs. I have no idea what she’s doing in these pictures but I see Yoga Pants and the splits and squats so the rest is kind of a blurr to me because I am the kind of guy who you can’t take anywhere, because as a pervert I take everything out of context.

If I am walking buy a group of moms doing Yoga in the park during the summer, the first thing I think about is them doing it naked, on camera for some random Mexican dude they met in the park. Or, when I see middle-aged mom’s and their daughters in matching Yoga pants just walking and shopping in the mall, I think about them doing it naked on camera for some random Mexican dude they met in the mall. The reality is that my taking everyday things out of context and turning all things perverted has been a curse and has prevented me from living a normal life.

What I do know is that if this is the kind of performance she gives her dogs in public, I’d love to see what goes on behind cloed doors, I am not going to go as far as saying she shoves them up her cooch to simulate a reverse pregnancy for fun and to create a stronger bond exercise, or even the played out peanut butter myth, but if she’s doin’ what she’s doin in these pictures but a little more naked and a little more on camera in a lot more positions, those little cocksuckers are pretty fucking lucky and that’s not even taking into account that they get to eat her used tampons or lick her dirty panties or watch her get fucked by whoever she’s fucking or watch her shower all while drinking designer water and eating their doggy Filet Mignon, proving that their little dog life is a hell of a lot better than mine, which isn’t saying much because most stray dogs with rabies and no where to go have a better life than me.


Related Posts:

Some Molly Sims Bikini Action
Marisa Miller Body Painted for Sports Illustrated
A Whole Lot of Hot At Some Sports Illustrated Party

Posted in:Molly Sims|Splits|Yoga Pants