Natasha Hamilton Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Natasha Hamilton Category

2008

May

Natasha Hamilton is in a Bikini of the Day

So Natasha Hamiton is another UK slut who sleeps with Soccer Players and for some reason whenever I see a soccer player, even when he’s with a hot lookin’ slut, I just assume dude’s gay. I don’t know if it’s the short shorts or the fact that gay dudes love these motherfuckers, or it’s their European comfort with sexuality that leads them to hugging and kissing and crying in each other’s arms when they lose a match, or if it’s the fact that every metrosexual dressed Italian or Portuguese person in this city rock their tight pants and styled hair to while talking about how much they love their favorite players but there’s something totally homoerotic about this shit that leads me to believe that Natasha Hamilton is just a front for his gay romps with his other players in the locker room shower.

Either way, I was talking to a gay dude yesterday and he told me his first gay experience was when he changed his baby brother’s diaper. It made me uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as these pictures of this staged relationship when the only thing this couple have in common is a love for cock and getting their hair done.

Posted in:Bikini|Natasha Hamilton

2008

May

Natasha Hamilton Performing

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Natasha Hamilton is the Ginger Haired from Atomic Kitten who’s camp fire vagina makes you want to roast mashmallows instead of have sex. This is her in some pub in her hometown dressed like a jackass with a bunch of other jackasses doing some jackass performance because clearly her Atomic Kitten career hasn’t been as lucrative as she hoped and she’s trying to make ends meet. I have nothing more to say about this pictures and that’s why I decided to write John Tesh another email.

Dear John Tesh,

I wrote you yesterday, but didn’t hear back from you. I am actually pretty hurt that I went out of my way to reach out and was just ignored like a second rate citizen. I tell myself that it’s probably because you get tons of email, but I think that it’s because you have it out for me. Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one.

I read on your site that you can get a much better sleep if you wear your socks to bed. I decided to try it out, because in my youth I used to sleep with a condom on to protect my goods in the dirty sheets I would sleep on. It didn’t help much mainly because it constantly slipped off due to my lack of girth.

I mentioned yesterday that I am pretty poor so I don’t own any socks, but figured I’d try using plastic bags that I got a few weeks ago while collecting cans out of the garbage on the side of the street. The sound of their ruffling kept me up, despite being completely inebriated and I woke up with a pretty disgusting rash. Since I don’t have medical insurance, I figured I’d reach out to you, since you got me in this mess in the first place, and ask if you have any advice to make it go away. Do you think it is just an allergic reaction or could it be something more serious that I caught from wearing dirty bags like the Flesh Eating Disease, Lupus or even Aids.

I hope you can find the time in your busy schedule to get back to me on this,

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Natasha Hamilton|Ridiculous

2007

Jun

I am – Natasha Hamilton Topless Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

I posted these Natasha Hamiton Bikini Pictures last week or some shit. But it turns out that bitch doesn’t mind getting topless and where there are topless girls on the beach, there’s people like me looking for pictures taken of them to post here, because I don’t have the budget to follow these people around or spend my days on the beach and if I did have that budget, this bitch wouldn’t be one that I’d follow around.

She’s in Atomic Kitten, some UK Spice Girls the Next Generation group. She’s a red head and I am recently a fan of red heads because I alienated them for the last 20 years because the concept of red pubic hair made me feel sick to my stomach, but I guess as you get older and marry fat disgusting women, things change.

I was talking to some dude today about Drag KIngs, these are dykes who dress up like dudes and perform. He was telling me that he is pissed off that they don’t get enough media attention and I told him that that is because no one really wants to see chicks with hormone therapy beards, grown out armpit hair, dressed like dudes because Lesbians like chicks who even if they are masculine lookin’ still don’t pretend to be men, fags like dudes and hate the fact that these Kings have pussies, straight guys generally like tits and bisexuals are just too emo and confused to really count. My advice to all you bull dykes out there growing a mustache is to shave the fucker off now, because as long as your packin’ a uterus no one wants to see you pretend to be men.

That said, topless beaches are probably the best thing invented and girls who aren’t ashamed of themselves enough to cover up, like Natasha Hamilton’s tits save all of us money by not having to go to the strippers.

2007

Jun

I am – Natasha Hamilton Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I know you probably don’t know who she is because I don’t know who she is and despite having no interest in these people and just use them to lure idiots like you into my site, I still have been doing it 2.5 years and that makes me a bit of an expert. I don’t think being an expert in identifying useless celebrities is something to be proud of, it kinda categorizes me into the worlds of virgins and people who cut out pictures of bitches from magazines to put in my magical box that I keep under my bed for lovemaking purposes. I am talking about the losers who identify with celebrity vagina because they can’t get vagina of their own and in their fantasy world the characters these bitches play in the movies are their dream girls and one day when they make it rich they will win them over and end up marrying them and living happily ever after. What they realize is that no matter how much money they make, they can’t erase the fact that they are socially awkward creepy chronic masturbaters and girls don’t like awkward creepy chronic masturbaters, not to mention you don’t get rich living in your mom’s basement playing role playing games and poking girls your don’t know on facebook. That said, I have no idea who this bitch is, but rumor is that she’s in Atomic Kitten and that’s some UK girl group you probably want to fuck….

The real reason I posted these wasn’t because of the white bikini, even though I love white bikinis because they get see through and everytime I’ve seen a bitch in you, I’ve been able to make out what her pussy looks like, and despite that sounding creepy as shit, reality is it’s not my fault a bitch is showing her junk to everyone at the public pool I sometimes sneak into..so stop judging.

I wanted to write about redheads and how I was always scared of them growing up. I was born in mexico and spend a solid 10 years of my life there. I had never seen a redhead before and when I did for the first time when I was moved to Texas, I thought they were the spawn of the devil. I admit I was living with crazy Jesus people and I thought that everything was evil because that’s what they beat into me, but these pale faced, freckle covered weirdos with fire colored hair made me feel fucking uneasy. Later in life, I became a little more obnoxious and started asking the redheads I knew if they had fire crotches, they never wanted to answer me so I just assumed they were. I think I probably traumatized them and gave them a complex, but I was 15 or some shit, I hope they got over it, because I don’t want a group of redheaded weirdos I once knew holding meetings on how they want to kill me for ruining their sex lives, because redheads are naturally really strong and could hurt me. I figure they are strong for the same reason retarded people are strong, their gene pool evolved over the generations to deal with dickheads like me who would tease them for being different, so that we couldn’t lock them in lockers and shit. Someone once told me that redheaded kids were left in the woods to fend for themselves as babies in the middle ages because having a redheaded kid was considered a bad thing. So the ones who survived were obviously the ones who could deal with the elements….making them a superior race of humans….

Either way, what I am getting at is that the though of these pale spotted people with bright red lips and what I assume big red cunts with orange fucking pubes used to make me fucking sick to my stomach and I couldn’t grasp why Archie from the Archie comics always wanted to get a piece of the redheaded girl…that was until I started seeing seeing hot redheads, ones who didn’t look like they were genetic accidents that would have been left in the woods in the middle ages. They looked like hot fucking pieces of ass that I wanted to go down on for fucking hours. Now it seems that every time I leave my house, I see at least one redhead I’d like to fuck, red pubes and all. Maybe it’s become a fetish because I’ve never had one, but I am thinking that for all those years I was just prejudice and missed out on fulfilling this dream and now it’s too late because I am married and can’t get boners.

This post was really long. I bet it was boring to read. Good thing you didn’t bother. Asshole.