UK Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the UK Category

2010

Jan

Some UK Swimathon Bullshit of the Day

I didn’t know people in the UK swam, I thought they were too busy working the mill and sweeping chimneys to find the time to do this shit. I’ve met people from the UK on the beach at various stages in my life and they’ve always been just as afraid of the sun as they were of the water. You know their weird pasty skin covered in full pants, blazer, button down shirt and a sun hat covering an already ridiculous burn on their hands, the only exposed skin, but it turns out that I was wrong. Here’s some bitch named Zoe Saimon trying to be playful at the pool form some “Swimathon” which I guess is for charity, but is instead reminding me of the opening scene of a softcore porn I used to jerk off to before I found real porn….kinda like how this is the pussy Irish people jerk off to because they haven’t found real pussy.

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Swimathon|UK|Zoe Saimon

2009

Sep

UK Pop Group the Sugababes Film a New Music Video of the Day

6 Comments »

If you don’t know the Sugababes, they are a pop group from the 90s in the UK who were the second biggest selling all girl pop group of all time behind the Spice Girls, in the UK or as I like to call them, The two fat aging chicks and the younger skinny Asian lookin’ Jamaican girl with an amazing lower body that they brought on to exploit by putting her in short shorts so that guys watch their videos late at night and masturbate because no one likes a pop group that doesn’t have videos guys can jerk off to late at night….

Here are some pictures from their recent video shoot where they are dressed like dominatrixes, because I guess they are making a comeback.

Pics via PacificCoastNews and Fame

Posted in:Music Video|Popstars|Sugababes|UK

2009

Apr

I Fuckin’ Hate Lady Gaga of the Day

9 Comments »

Here’s Lady Gaga and her busted up face walking around a UK TV show with her teacup, because she’s fucking obnoxious cunt who thinks she’s is an artist, interesting, of substance.

To prove she’s is a fake, she talks with her stupid fabricated voice about her weird gay club shows where she wore an Indian head dress, a bikini while lighting hairspray on fire and she calls it performing art, I call it fucking garbage that is pretending to be art, when I do stupid stunts for attention, it doesn’t really constitute as art, just because I say it is art. It remains stupid shit.

Art is when a homeless guy runs down the street after covering her face in “war paint” with his feces.

I love that she says that she is not inspired by anyone and that she is inspired to herself, that’s a fucking lie. That’s what try hards say so that we don’t catch on to their bullshit. So in a lot of ways, that’s her telling the world she’s fucking fake piece of shit.

Here is her disaster performance – I hope the end is fucking near for her – seriously – this is garbage….

Posted in:Jonathan Ross|Lady Gaga|UK

2008

Dec

Britney Spears in a Couple UK Lip Synching Performances of the Day

8 Comments »

So Britney Spears is on the promo tour in Europe and she played such prestigious venues like the UK version of American Idol called X Factor and the French version of American Idol called Star Academy. I could be wrong about these shows, but I do know that waking up at 9 am after not working for 4 days is fucking destroying my soul, like buying tickets to a Britney Spears concert hoping to see her perform live, before being fed this useless lip synching drivel. We realize she’s crazy, has no talent at that repetitive piece of womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer shit is sung by a fuckin’ robot, so it’s hard to fuckin’ sing it, especially when you are dealing with your mental illness and struggling to not shove the headset mic down her throat, not to simulate oral sex but to choke on and die, because even she knows it’s pretty much over, over , over , over, over for her…

Read this story about how Britney’s Europe Fans are Mad about these performances, will I get woke up, warmed up and figure out how to make my comeback…
GO

Here’s one from a show called Star Academy….in France….

Here’s a video of her celebrating her birthday at some club called G-A-Y, which is coincidentally the same name your family calls you when you’re in the other room….I mean it is the only explanation for you never having a girlfriend, right?

Posted in:Britney Spears|Lip Synching|UK

2008

Nov

Some Teen Girls Growin’ Up Too Fast of the Day

4 Comments »

there’ really nothing interesting going on right now, been surfing the internet and nothing interesting is coming up, but I was sent this video about some teenage girl in the UK who wants breast implants even though she’s probably 16. I guess it’s a testament to how awesome big tits are, or maybe the influence of all those UK glamor models having careers based on their big tits making 14 year olds feel inadequate and despite hating fake tits, this does give me confidence that the world is going in the right direction……

The real issue is obviously the parents, they give their kids too much freedom like this one mom saying she thinks her daughter is old enough to make decisions about her body for herself, even if the girl isn’t fully developed and that not being developed really makes perverts more aroused versus the fake tits they see at stripclubs constantly, anyone can have those, but only 15 year olds can have teenage titties, so why ruin a good thing, I guess because you’re a whore in training and this is phase one….or whatever….either way, watch the video, blame Jordan, Gemma Atkinson and them other slags who have proven today that despite popular belief, they aren’t entirely useless…..

Posted in:Sluts|Teens|UK

2007

Jun

I am – Natasha Hamilton Topless Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

I posted these Natasha Hamiton Bikini Pictures last week or some shit. But it turns out that bitch doesn’t mind getting topless and where there are topless girls on the beach, there’s people like me looking for pictures taken of them to post here, because I don’t have the budget to follow these people around or spend my days on the beach and if I did have that budget, this bitch wouldn’t be one that I’d follow around.

She’s in Atomic Kitten, some UK Spice Girls the Next Generation group. She’s a red head and I am recently a fan of red heads because I alienated them for the last 20 years because the concept of red pubic hair made me feel sick to my stomach, but I guess as you get older and marry fat disgusting women, things change.

I was talking to some dude today about Drag KIngs, these are dykes who dress up like dudes and perform. He was telling me that he is pissed off that they don’t get enough media attention and I told him that that is because no one really wants to see chicks with hormone therapy beards, grown out armpit hair, dressed like dudes because Lesbians like chicks who even if they are masculine lookin’ still don’t pretend to be men, fags like dudes and hate the fact that these Kings have pussies, straight guys generally like tits and bisexuals are just too emo and confused to really count. My advice to all you bull dykes out there growing a mustache is to shave the fucker off now, because as long as your packin’ a uterus no one wants to see you pretend to be men.

That said, topless beaches are probably the best thing invented and girls who aren’t ashamed of themselves enough to cover up, like Natasha Hamilton’s tits save all of us money by not having to go to the strippers.

2007

Jun

I am – Natasha Hamilton Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I know you probably don’t know who she is because I don’t know who she is and despite having no interest in these people and just use them to lure idiots like you into my site, I still have been doing it 2.5 years and that makes me a bit of an expert. I don’t think being an expert in identifying useless celebrities is something to be proud of, it kinda categorizes me into the worlds of virgins and people who cut out pictures of bitches from magazines to put in my magical box that I keep under my bed for lovemaking purposes. I am talking about the losers who identify with celebrity vagina because they can’t get vagina of their own and in their fantasy world the characters these bitches play in the movies are their dream girls and one day when they make it rich they will win them over and end up marrying them and living happily ever after. What they realize is that no matter how much money they make, they can’t erase the fact that they are socially awkward creepy chronic masturbaters and girls don’t like awkward creepy chronic masturbaters, not to mention you don’t get rich living in your mom’s basement playing role playing games and poking girls your don’t know on facebook. That said, I have no idea who this bitch is, but rumor is that she’s in Atomic Kitten and that’s some UK girl group you probably want to fuck….

The real reason I posted these wasn’t because of the white bikini, even though I love white bikinis because they get see through and everytime I’ve seen a bitch in you, I’ve been able to make out what her pussy looks like, and despite that sounding creepy as shit, reality is it’s not my fault a bitch is showing her junk to everyone at the public pool I sometimes sneak into..so stop judging.

I wanted to write about redheads and how I was always scared of them growing up. I was born in mexico and spend a solid 10 years of my life there. I had never seen a redhead before and when I did for the first time when I was moved to Texas, I thought they were the spawn of the devil. I admit I was living with crazy Jesus people and I thought that everything was evil because that’s what they beat into me, but these pale faced, freckle covered weirdos with fire colored hair made me feel fucking uneasy. Later in life, I became a little more obnoxious and started asking the redheads I knew if they had fire crotches, they never wanted to answer me so I just assumed they were. I think I probably traumatized them and gave them a complex, but I was 15 or some shit, I hope they got over it, because I don’t want a group of redheaded weirdos I once knew holding meetings on how they want to kill me for ruining their sex lives, because redheads are naturally really strong and could hurt me. I figure they are strong for the same reason retarded people are strong, their gene pool evolved over the generations to deal with dickheads like me who would tease them for being different, so that we couldn’t lock them in lockers and shit. Someone once told me that redheaded kids were left in the woods to fend for themselves as babies in the middle ages because having a redheaded kid was considered a bad thing. So the ones who survived were obviously the ones who could deal with the elements….making them a superior race of humans….

Either way, what I am getting at is that the though of these pale spotted people with bright red lips and what I assume big red cunts with orange fucking pubes used to make me fucking sick to my stomach and I couldn’t grasp why Archie from the Archie comics always wanted to get a piece of the redheaded girl…that was until I started seeing seeing hot redheads, ones who didn’t look like they were genetic accidents that would have been left in the woods in the middle ages. They looked like hot fucking pieces of ass that I wanted to go down on for fucking hours. Now it seems that every time I leave my house, I see at least one redhead I’d like to fuck, red pubes and all. Maybe it’s become a fetish because I’ve never had one, but I am thinking that for all those years I was just prejudice and missed out on fulfilling this dream and now it’s too late because I am married and can’t get boners.

This post was really long. I bet it was boring to read. Good thing you didn’t bother. Asshole.